A House Divided
by Flagg1991
Summary: In this origin tale, follow Lupa, Leia and Lemy and witness how the kids live with abandonment, sorrow, taboos, suffering, and the the hardest thing to face: the truth. In this collab piece, the tale of the bastards of Lincoln will be told. Collaboration with Captain Darko. Cover by Raganoxer.
1. A Broken Life

**I was fortunate enough to be approached by _the_ Captain Darko to collaborate on a story - a story that, I believe, will prove to be as darkly beautiful as it is heartbreaking. Here, we find the sin kids scattered to the wind, a few here and a few there, none happy and none knowing just how shattered their family really is. In this chapter, we meet Lupa, Liby, and Lacy - three sisters alone in the world with no one but each other and, perhaps, a faint glimmer of _hope._**

* * *

 _ **We're living at the mercy of**_

 _ **The pain and the fear**_

 _ **Until we tell it, forget it**_

 _ **Let it all disappear**_

 **\- Linkin Park**

* * *

The sky was white, the ground was black. Weed choked lots bordered uneven sidewalks lumped like frozen waves. Crumbling buildings loomed over empty, litter strewn streets, mausoleums once bustling with life but now home only to rats, spiders, winos, and the insane. Liby Loud shuddered as a cold wind swept over her, on it the smell of earth and decay. She _hated_ walking through the neighborhood between Westside Middle and the group home; it was too easy to imagine the decomposing tenements watching with haunted malevolence as she passed...too easy to feel eyes staring from darkened windows, some with hatred and others with deviant lust. _Come here, little girl...I have something for ya._ Her heart pounded against her ribs and her stomach clutched sickly. She drew strength, however, from her sisters, Lupa one one side and Lacy on the other, like bodyguards. They were tough, they were strong, they would protect her like they always did.

Lupa's short white hair fluttered lank in the breeze. A contraband cigarette jutted from her mouth, the smoke curling up like a phantom from a grave. Lacy, her pale brown hair in a ponytail, stared straight ahead, a strained look on her freckled face. Liby avoided looking at her eyes, because if she did she knew she would see worry. Lacy was a queen of the springboard bravado. She didn't have to turn her head to see her meek older sisters face to sense the fear. She puts on a confident face. Liby takes heed and lets out a calming sigh. Lupa darts her eyes forward as they make it to the edge of the neighborhood. She smells the air- reeked of O.E and old coney water. Home was nearby, alright. The trio jaywalked across the road to make it on their side. A few steps forward, they reached home-a fortress of barred windows in a field God forgot and left to rot and fester like a raisin in the sun.

It was early afternoon and they were in trouble...big trouble. As in they were just expelled for fighting. Even Liby, who didn't throw a single punch or utter a single cross word - all she did was fall to the floor and cry out.

This wasn't the first time the three of them had been involved in a fight at school. Westside Middle was a rough place - dirty, overcrowded, underfunded, the ancient heating system dormant in winter and the windows nailed shut in the spring. The kids were poor, mean, and didn't care about anything - including themselves. A group of girls a year ahead of Liby delighted in picking on her because she didn't fight back, she bowed her head and scurried away like a mouse. She wasn't strong, she wasn't brave, she wasn't her sisters. Now and then they took it too far, and today was one of those _thens_. She was in the cafeteria, hurrying to the table she shared with Lacy and Lupa when one of them shoved her from behind. She didn't know exactly what happened after that because she stayed down, but Lacy and Lupa came to her defense...and it got ugly. Teeth were broken, noses busted, tufts of hair yanked out. Even now Liby could see purple knuckle marks on Lupa's wan jaw.

They drew closer to the group home, and Liby felt a slight rush of anxiety as she always did.

Her step faltered, and her sisters passed her.

She didn't want to get in trouble.

She wanted to be good...because when you're good, people like you; they don't yell and hit and call you names.

"Lib?"

Lupa and Lacy were both looking at her.

Liby swallowed, ducked her head, and started walking again, her shoulders tense. Lacy and Lupa fell in on either side of her, Lacy's hand lettering to her back. "Don't worry about it, okay?" Lacy said, an uncharacteristic softness creeping into her voice. "It won't be like it used to be. They don't care anymore."

The group home was three levels of cold storage for a schizophrenic mixed bag of juvenile delinquents, orphans, and the unwanted. When Liby, Lupa, and Lacy were first transferred there a year and a half ago from Ann Arbor, there were thirty residents, girls on the first floor and boys on the second and third. Over time, however, funding dropped and many of the residents were released, some to parents who didn't want them (or couldn't handle them) and others to group homes, residential treatment facilities, and foster homes. Today, there remained only a hand full of kids - those who, like Liby and her sisters, had nowhere else to go.

Lacy led the way through the double doors like always, her shoulders squared and her chest thrust out with a bravado that she didn't feel. Lupa came next, flicking her cigarette away in a spray of embers; she didn't care if the staff saw, and with a few glaring exceptions (Pam on the weekend shift, for one), neither did they. Liby brought up the rear, her breath catching at the dark atmosphere.

Another set of doors led into the dayroom. Ahead was an office, the door standing open and plastered with papers - rules, regulations, and schedules. To the left was a long hallway lined with bedrooms, all of them empty and shuttered now. At the head of the corridor was the 'support room', a doorless, dimly lit space with carpeted walls where you were sent to 'cool down' often after being 'restrained.' Many of the staffers took delight in getting physical with the residents, provoking the more unstable ones into meltdowns so that they had an excuse to twist their arms and slam them against the wall.

After that, they would drag their charge to the support room and leave them for hours on end with no food, water, or bathroom breaks: The faint, astringent odor of urine soaked into the carpet drifted into Lupa's nose. She sneered. She'd been in the support room once and only once: Some girl was trying to muscle Liby out of her snack - Goldfish crackers - and Lupa punched her in the back of the head. She didn't often lose her cool, but when someone messed with one of her sisters, she got a little bothered.

Or a lot bothered.

After all, Liby and Lacy were all she had in the world, and don't you do whatever it takes to protect what's precious to you?

Without being summoned, they all made their way into the office, a cramped, messy space dominated by a rusted metal desk scattered with papers and office supplies. Filing cabinets stood along the walls, a potted plant by the window looking wilted and dead. A fat man with short brown hair and glasses sat in a swivel chair, leaning back and talking into the phone, his shirt ridden up to reveal the pale, fleshy bottom of his gut. The girls all relax a little, even Liby; Dave is cool. Unlike a lot of other staffers, Dave is their friend.

"Yeah," Dave said and glanced at them, "uhhh…" He looked at the clock. "Four?"

Lacy silently wonders if he's talking about them. Lupa doesn't care; she wants another cigarette and Dave would look the other way.

"Alright, thanks." He hung up the phone and turned to them, leaning forward and looking disappointed. "What was that crap at school about?" he asked.

None of them immediately replied; Liby's eyes flicked to her feet in shame and intimidation, Lacy shrugged, and Lupa just stared. Dave looked from one to the other, his brows lifted expectantly. "Anyone?" he asked.

"Some girls were picking on Liby," Lacy said, "so me and Lupa kicked their asses."

That wasn't entirely the truth. Lupa was the one who kicked their asses; Lacy got a few swings in but wound up on her knees with a Hispanic girl yanking her arm behind her back. She liked to think she was the biggest and toughest, but she wasn't; she didn't even hit that hard, a fact Lupa knew from experience. Like most sisters, they fought. And Lupa always won, much to Lacy's chagrin. This meant that Lupa had not one but two sisters to worry about: One who was perpetually picked on and one who'd run her mouth and start a fight she couldn't win.

Sometimes it was almost like she was their mother; looking after them, making sure they had even if she didn't, always worrying about them.

Ha.

Dave bowed his head and shook his slowly. There was a bald patch on top. And...were those liver spots? "Well," he sighed, "I can't blame you, _buuuut_ you're all on D-level and you might very well be shipped outta here."

Liby's head whipped up. Her face was suddenly pale. Lacy recoiled visibly. Lupa felt a slight flutter where her heart should be. As bad as this place was, it was still a whole fucking lot better than everywhere else they'd ever been, and whenever they were moved, there was always the dread chance that they would be split up.

"W-Why?" Lacy asked, a barely concealed tremor in her voice. "We didn't _do_ anything!"

Dave spread his hands. "You've been warned about this. Right now, this place is on the verge of shutting down and they're looking for any excuse to empty beds. Being expelled from school is a pretty big deal." He spoke at length, his head still down. "I was just talking to Matt, he wants to have a meeting with you girls today at four. He doesn't know if he'll be able to make it, but eventually he's gonna come down here, and when he comes, you know you messed up."

Matt Lancaster was the administrator of the group home, a tall, goofy looking asshole with buck teeth who reminded Lupa for some reason of Joel Olsteen. He rarely showed up at the home - he was too 'busy' to make sure conditions were livable, that there weren't roaches and rats in the pantry, that there weren't bugs in every bed and that the windows weren't nailed shut. He always had time to _oh so politely_ ream someone's ass, though; always.

Liby was shaking like a leaf now, and Lupa felt a sudden rush of irrational rage. STOP DOING THAT! Lacy was breathing heavily through her nose and looking rapidly around the room, which meant she was close to tears. Lupa wanted to snatch both of them by the hair and ram their heads together like they were Larry and Curly and her name was Moe. She told herself they were getting on her nerves...but maybe, just maybe...she didn't think she could be strong for them right now. You think _she_ wasn't worried? If they got shipped out of here and split up, she…

...she didn't know _what_ she'd do.

"I can talk to him, but I don't know," Dave said and looked up. "I really don't." He glanced over his shoulder at the clock: It was almost 2:30. "Go sit in the living room," he said, "and...don't cause any trouble."

He turned away and that was it. They were on their own. Again.

Lupa brushed by Liby and left the office. Lacy followed, snatching Liby's wrist and dragging her behind.

The day room, directly off the office and flanking the front door, was a cramped, utilitarian space with tiled floors, an ancient television set with rabbit ears, and thin institutional furniture that provided all the comforts of a prison waiting room. Lupa dropped onto the couch with a frustrated sigh. Lacy sat on one side and Liby on the other; Liby leaned forward, her back stiff and her hands folded in her lap, Lacy crossed her legs and propped her elbow on the wooden armrest, her face resting in her upturned palm. Her eyes were cloudy and troubled, her lips pursed tightly as if to keep them from quivering. Liby's hands wrong and she chewed her bottom lip in worry. Lupa simply stared ahead, her mind working. The more she thought, the more worried she became. Her face was flat, unchanged, but inside she was a raging tempest of emotion, and if she didn't get control of herself, she would explode: It had happened before, and it always ended with her screaming, kicking, hitting, and being dragged away.

It didn't happen often, though, because as time went on she died a little more, and dead women don't throw bitch fits.

She took a deep breath and gazed out the window. The street was empty, dead, save for wind swept trash skating along the broken pavement. Broken pavement for a broken city, she thought, a broken world...a broken life.

"What are we going to do?" Lacy asked more to herself than to either one of her sisters. "They're gonna kick us out and we're gonna be fucked."

"What _can_ we do?" Lupa grumbled. Smoke a cigarette...except they were on D-Level...which meant no room time (until bed), no TV, no shit. When the other girls got home from school, she, Liby, and Lacy would have to go sit in the dining room with nothing to do but stare at the walls and each other. Oh, and wait to die. Can't forget that. Usually she could sneak off to her room, hang out the window, and burn, but...fuck it. She never got anything good in her fucking life, why a smoke break?

Lacy sighed. "I don't know," she said, and there was a hitch in her voice. Lupa looked over, and the brown haired girl's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. A strange and strong mixture of pity and anger bubbled up in Lupa's chest, and she looked away. She didn't know either. She should...she was the one with all the answers, but sometimes she didn't have shit even if she pretended that she did. And sometimes she just wanted this to be over. All of it: Her life, her responsibilities, the fucking hurt that came out when she lay awake in bed at night, the loneliness...the faded scars on her wrist bore testament to _that_. But as someone once told her: Shit or get off the pot. Cut yourself to win or don't fucking cut yourself at all.

She didn't cut herself.

Often.

"Hey."

All three girls twisted their heads around. Dave was leaning out of the office, his hand resting on either side of the doorframe. "You can watch TV if you want," he said.

None of them spoke as they turned again. Lacy reached for the remote on the table, snatched it up, and clicked on the TV: A fat man in a plaid coat was hawking cars. " _Come on down to Big Bill's Car Emporium and -"_ Lacy changed the channel.

Lupa looked away from the screen and out the window again; what looked like a crumpled paper cup from a fast food joint rocked back and forth in the street, buffeted by the wind and barely hanging on. Just like her. Her sisters didn't know it, but things _did_ bother her, and though she worked endlessly to ignore them, it was hard. She was like an AIDS patient: Even the smallest ailment could prove deadly to her harangued immune system. She hung on, though, because Liby and Lacy were counting on her, and she wouldn't let them down the way her parents let her down...the way their parents let them down. They were weak, wherever and whoever they were, but she was not...she wouldn't let herself be, she would be stronger, she would survive, and so would her sisters, despite them... _in_ spite of them.

The grotesque sound of canned laughter drew her attention back to the TV: A fat man in a plaid shirt stood in the middle of a living room with his hands on his hips and a comical expression of fatherly disapproval on his face. A boy and girl, teens, sat together on the couch and hung their heads in an melodramatically hangdog fashion.

" _What have I told you kids about shenanigans?"_

" _They're not allowed,"_ the boy and girl sighed in unison. The girl looked up, her eyes filled with pleading. " _We're really sorry, Daddy, we've learned our lesson. We just...wanted you to spend time with us."_ Here the girl bowed her head again as the audience _awwwww'd._

Lupa rolled her eyes.

Onscreen, the fat man drew his own sigh, then sat between his children, slipping an arm around either. " _I know I haven't been the best dad,"_ he said soberly, " _and I'm sorry. You kids mean the world to me, even if I don't always show it. I love you both."_

Lupa sighed. She hated sitcoms - they were all the same, and they all sucked. She turned to ask Lacy to change it, but stopped. Tears welled in her eyes, a single bead tracing down her delicate cheekbone and tapering off at the corner of her mouth; her lips trembled visibly, and she sucked them in, the movement of her facial muscles dislodging more tears from her puffy eyes. She sniffed, brushed them away, then turned. "What?" she asked tightly.

"What's wrong with you?" Lupa asked, her brow furrowing.

"Nothing," Lacy said. Her voice was thick, and she glanced away, hiding her face. "Just leave me alone."

Lupa stared at her for a moment more, then turned to Liby; one shaking hand covered her eyes and her lips were a tight, white slash. Lupa looked at the screen: The fat man and his overpaid, probably spoiled co stars hugged it out in a sickeningly sweet display of unrealistic Hallmark schmaltz. She stole another glance at Lacy; her eyes were squeezed shut and her a tremor ran through her body. Lupa frowned and touched her shoulder. "Hey, Lace…"

Lacy wrenched away and shot to her feet. "Leave me the fuck alone," she spat and rushed away, "I gotta piss."

Lupa turned to Liby. "You alright?"

She nodded. "I'm fine, just..leave me alone, please."

With a sigh, Lupa flopped back and crossed her arms. The show ended and names no one cared about flashed across the screen as a stupid end credits theme played.

Sometimes Liby and Lacy were so overwhelming that she could almost resent them. Once, long the fuck ago, she wanted to be a child...she wanted to laugh and play and be carefree, but somewhere along the line someone snatched her innocence from her hands and smashed it on the ground, then stomped it into the dirt and spat on it. She was saddled with the responsibility -

 _(Burden?)_

\- of caring for her sisters. It was all too easy to blame them, to look at them sometimes and wish they'd never been born or that they'd been taken somewhere else, somewhere across the state far, far away. The truth, however, was that Lupa probably needed them as much as they needed her. They were the reason she got out of bed in the morning, the reason she dug deep and found the courage to face the day ahead, the reason she ignored her own feelings of desolation, the reason that she hadn't fashioned a noose from a bedsheet, tossed it over a bare pipe, and hanged herself. They were a blessing, but in a way they were a curse as well. A blessing because they kept her going...and a curse for the selfsame reason.

She lived for them.

And living, as she had discovered, was the hardest thing one can do.

* * *

Day slowly drags painfully into night. And 4:00 o'clock came and went, given the the only good thing that happened to the girl today for the simple fact Matt Lancaster had too many meetings that today and couldn't slip out to deal with them. Lucky them. However, Lupa knew better. It was a minor snag-slight hindrance for the almost absolute possible-they were fucked by tomorrow. The amount of trouble they raked over the time of their stay along with shitshow at school was more than enough to confirm that in her mind.

It was nearly 8:30 PM. Lights out was always at 9. Lupa with a pair of comfy black plaid night pants and a gray shirt with a cartoon skull on it with a bandana tied to the front and G59 under the logo. Simple night attire for a unearthly cold building. The room was the only room ''personalized" in the entire home. It was cold, poorly painted, rats and roaches had turf wars there, it smelt of rotted mangos or a strong liquor and it leaked. Only "personal" touch that the trio were the only ones in the room and didn't have to share with the other kids because they were the only siblings that came in threes. Lucky them.

After getting the news from Dave a few hours ago that Matt wasn't coming, Lupa was emotionally and mentally drained, leaving her tired and barely responsive. For the rest of the day she napped, only to wake up to see that her sisters were gone. Lupa wasn't sure where they went off to or why they were acting strange watching that emotionally focus grouped garbage on the television, but she was still worried about them nevertheless.

She sits on her bed, feeling ill. Not sickly, but emotionally ill. She loved her sisters. She really did. However, she couldn't help but get annoyed with their quirks. It's normal for siblings to get annoyed at one another, but that didn't mean she didn't care for them. In fact, she adore her sisters. It's the only family she knows. Granted, they aren't the postcard happy American family that's expected from the masses like they are in the media, like that corny show they saw today, but that's just it. She was happy they weren't that kind of family. Lupa didn't need anyone else. She didn't want anyone else.

Why bother being part of that kind of family? Be with a father and mother that loved them? Please. She was more of a mother anyway and heaven knows if fathers were like any of the fathers these kids in this home tell about in those little therapy sessions that she was forced to attend, she was better off dead. Drunks, addicts, pimps, simps, abusers, rapists-why would she hope they would have a father like that? She remembers a story a girl here told about her father. She was in a a house with seven siblings and their father would have sex with them, almost like it was normal. Ruined her-had her think that's how father's show their love to their daughters. The thought sickened her.

No. She didn't want a mother. She didn't want a father. If their parents gave a damn, they wouldn't have abandoned them. That's why she knew she was better than any parent. Lupa was there for her sisters. She loved them. More than she loved herself. She'd do anything for them. To stay together. They were all they had and in the end, that's what mattered to her. If they were going to be kicked out, so be it. They'll start in a new home. No-better yet,.they'll go live the abandoned brewery. Maybe in that one vacant trap house that got rader off the Lexter-Stilwood area. She didn't care. She'll do whatever it takes.

However, as she turned off the lamp in her room, swamping the space into darkness with only the moon giving light, she knew they might not be able to work it out. They had no goal. Not idea where to go. No other family. They probably only had twenty bucks between them and everything they own could fit in a brown paper. Sad but true.

Maybe...there was no way out of this. They were going to be kicked out. She just knew it.

Lupa sighs and pulled the covers of her bed and got in, wrapping herself tightly in a cocoon of mock Egyptian cotton and closed her eyes. She believed her sisters will most likely appear right as the normally scheduled bedtime strikes or the very least a few minutes late. She opens her eyes and turned to the clock on her nightstand. 8:30 on the dot. Where were they? Where did they go?

She sighed.

They probably weeping or panicking somewhere. She wouldn't doubt it.

Lupa didn't want to keep thinking about it as she stared at the clock and saw it change to 8:31, the dim red light from the clock gleaming off her pack of cigarettes that rested next to it. Before long, everything fades to darkness as the white haired girl falls to sleep.

Waiting for the beginning of the end in the morning.

* * *

 **" _Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings - always darker, emptier and simpler." -_ Friedrich Nietzsche** _  
_


	2. High Hopes

Lacy swiped the back of her hand across her dry lips and stared across the scarred dining room table to where the light source was birthed from-the kitchen. In the kitchen, Jason, one of the evening staff, was taking inventory of the pantry, a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other; he pointed the latter, his mouth silently moving as he counted the number of cans, boxes, and jars. She turned her gaze to Liby, who stared down at a paperback novel open on the table before her; her face rested in her hands and her eyes didn't flick back and forth the way they should when you're reading.  
Because she probably wasn't.

She was thinking.

And maybe even fantasizing about something...something far away from this nightmare, something so achingly beautiful that Lacy couldn't let herself dwell on it too long or she'd break down like the way she did earlier, sitting in one of the bathroom stalls and sobbing desperately into her hands, hot tears staining her cheeks and throbbing pain in her chest. She didn't want to cry again. She fucking hated crying; it was a sign of weakness, and she was anything but weak. In fact, she was the strongest, fastest, toughest girl here.  
She didn't like feeling weak.

She despised it.

Yet as she watched her sister pretending to read, thoughts and emotions assailed her from all sides. There were the usuals - anger, hatred, and depression - but there were also new ones, ones that she thought she recognized from long, long ago, ones that she hadn't felt in years, ones that she no longer had names for, if she ever did. Her mind went back to the show, to the Dad putting his arms around his children...to the warmth and love and happiness in their eyes. Inexplicable anger filled her chest, and she curled her hand into a fist.

She wanted that-deserved that feeling. Goddamn it, she wanted a mom and a dad to love her and tuck her in and tell her how proud they were of her; she wanted to be held and smothered in kisses and…

Tears welled in her eyes and she surreptitiously wiped them away. She didn't have it and that was that. Only…

Everyone has a family, don't they? She knew nothing about her own, but there had to be one...somewhere...people who would love her, cradle her in their arms when she was sad, people who would make her happy and take away the sometimes-near-suicidal depression she never copped to feeling.

She looked at Liby again and sighed.

You kids mean the world to me, even if I don't always show it. I love you both.

Her fingers drummed on the edge of the table. She was starting to feel restless, claustrophobic, like the walls were closing in on her. Yes, she remembered these emotions very well now..hope turning slowly to chest tightening, heart clutching panic when she realized just how alone she and her sisters were in the world, that there was nothing out there for them, no one.

Everyone has a family, though. They had to: People don't come from orchards like oranges, they come from a mother and a father. She came from a mother and father, so did Lacy and Lupa. Even if their parents weren't good people, there must be someone else...aunts and uncles, maybe...grandparents…

Her fingers drummed faster. Her stomach was in knots and it was getting hard to breathe.

She had to have someone...anyone...but she didn't know. Her past was a blank; as far back as she could remember, this had been her life...cold, institutional, no parents, only impersonal 'staff' who didn't give two shits about you at best and actively hated you at worst. The not knowing was the worst part: When she was a little girl, she imagined that somewhere...always close no matter what town she was in, what group home...a huge and happy family existed with three missing spots in it, one for her and each of her sisters. She could never imagine the faces of her relatives, but she saw them nevertheless, aunts, uncles, cousins, step cousins, grandparents, mothers, fathers, great-grand uncles, a thousand people, a million.

Realistically, there was probably no one.

Drum. Drum. Drum. A desperate tempo.

Her mind was working.

She had to know.

Working.

Please, God, I just want one relative, okay?

Working.

She looked at Liby, then at the head of the hall to her left. There were twelve doors that opened off that corridor. Ten to bedrooms, one to the bathroom...and one to the basement, where things were kept, things like extra office supplies, sports equipment, surplus furniture (some of it broken), a pool table...and files...files that told the sad, broken story of every child to set foot into his hellhole since 1990. Lacy knew because last summer she and a couple other girls were tasked with carrying boxes crammed with them from the third floor storage room.

She licked her lips and thought. Getting down there would be easy...very easy, in fact.

"Jason?"

Jason glanced over. He was a tall man with sandy blonde hair and muddled hazel eyes.

He was also nice; most of the girls had crushes on him, but not Lacy. Nope.

"C-Can we go to bed?" she asked. Liby didn't look up, didn't move; it was all the same to her.

"If you want," Jason said and turned back to the pantry.

Lacy got up and went around the end of the table, where she stood over Liby. Liby took a deep breath, then stood, grabbing the book and following Lacy through the dayroom, where a group of girls watched TV. Lacy spared them a fleeting glance: She hated just about every single one of them.

The door to the basement was halfway down, past the bathroom. Cold fluorescent lights bathed the hard tile floor in a sterile white glow. One of the tubes at the end, near the door with EXIT over it (and an alarm on the handle) flickered with a soft, forlorn sound. At the door, she glanced back, saw that no one was looking, and pushed through it. Liby stopped, her head turning and her brow furrowing. "What are you doing?" she asked.  
Instead of replying, Lacy grabbed her by the front of her blouse and dragged her in before anyone could see, then eased the door shut behind her. For an anxious moment she waited to see if someone would come after them. When they didn't, she turned to Liby, whose eyes were wide.

"We're gonna get in trouble," the older girl said, her voice a low hiss.

"No we're not," Lacy said and glanced down the stairwell. Steps led to a landing, then more steps led down into the bowels of the building. "Just be quiet and follow my lead."

She turned and started to descend.

For a moment, Liby stayed where she was, her hands balled to her chest and her heart throbbing with fear. They were already in trouble, they didn't need more.

When Lacy disappeared around the corner, however, she hurried after. "What are we doing?" she asked the back of her sister's head.

"Getting our files," Lacy said.

Liby stared at her, utterly baffled at the very notion of something so risky. The thought alone was enough to make anyone quake with worry. Liby backed off slowly from Lacy's softened grasp and shook her head.

"W-We can't do that…" Liby said softly, looking down.

Lacy could only groan at the sudden cowardice.

"Come on, Lib!" Lacy said excitedly with only a hint of annoyance.

Liby shook her head. Lacy sighed and rested her hand on Liby's shoulder.

"Look…" Lacy started. "You want to know about ourselves just as much as I do. So, why not risk it?"

Liby looks down and then back up at her.

"Lupa will be upset-" Liby started before Lacy placed her finger over her lips.

"She'll be fine with it if she knew what we were doing," Lacy says. "Lupa might want to know, too."

Liby didn't believe that in the slightest. Liby knew Lupa as a person. Her likes and dislikes, her body language-everything. Liby knew Lupa had this weird hatred for adults and authority figures. Liby was never really sure why that was, but she believed it had something to do with her beliefs about parents and the idea they really didn't need any. Liby craved that stable nuclear family life, but she knew Lupa thought that they did not need any parents now considering how much they managed to handle without any at this point.

Liby can't deny Lupa is a fairly good leader and that she had a motherly appeal to her, but she can be cold and sometimes selfish when it comes to her and Lacy looking for love from others.

She didn't want to upset Lupa, but Lacy was right, she did want to know.

Sighing, she nodded. "A-Alright."

Lacy smiled. "Let's do it."

At the bottom of the stairs, a narrow hall opened on either side of them, the walls bare plaster and a confused mess of wires running along the crook where they met the ceiling. Rusted pipes shook and groaned as they passed, Liby glancing nervously over her shoulder; even though Lacy was here and would protect her, she hated the basement. It reminded her too much of all the illicit scary movies the weekend shift let them watch. It was far, far too easy to imagine some kind of girl eating monster lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce and rip out her soft insides.

Shadowy archways loomed and fell as they made their way to the record room. Part of the basement was nominally a rec center, but they were rarely ever allowed to use it.

The record room was ahead to the left; cobwebs danced in the harsh white glow of fluorescent lights and bugs scurried along the floor ahead of Liby and Lacy's passage. A series of red filing cabinets lined either side of a stone wall, with only a narrow space for walking. Liby looked over her shoulder and listened for the telltale signs of someone approaching, but there were none. That meant nobody knew they were down here.

Lacy walked the rows with a furrowed brow, her finger tapping the placard on every cabinet as she passed: 1994-6; 1997-8; 1999-2001. The files of the current residents were at the very end, because of course they were. The L records were kept in the next to bottom drawer; she dropped to her knees, dust, dirt, and bits of stone digging into her flesh. She glanced over at Liby. "Go in the hall and keep watch," she said.

Liby blinked. The hall? By herself?

Licking her lips like a woman about to embark on a delicate though vital task, Lacy pulled open the drawer and started flipping through the files. She caught a flash of movement from the corner of her eye, and turned: Liby was standing there, looking at her with a worried expression. Lacy started to snap, but stopped herself and took a deep breath. With Liby, you had to be gentle because even the slightest show of annoyance might send her off on a panic attack (Lacy doesn't love me anymore! Oh no!) and right now Lacy did not need that crap.

"Just go out and listen," she said patiently, "stand...two feet away, alright? I'll be here, I won't let anything happen to you, okay?"

A moment passed, then Liby nodded hesitantly. "O-Okay." She turned and went out into the hall, her feet shuffling on the concrete. Lacy frowned after her. Sometimes, Liby and her many anxiety disorders really got on her nerves...as did Lupa's militant hatred of adults. Like...get over it, okay?

Shoving those thoughts aside, she dug through the files until she found one marked LOUD. It was thicker than the rest, which told Lacy that hers and her sisters' information was combined. For a moment, she simply looked at it, her heart racing. This was it...the moment of truth...once she opened it and read what was inside, there was no going back...for better or worse. She reached out to pick it up, but her resolve threatened to crumble, and she pulled back.

Alright, Loud, she told herself, do you want a family or not?

The jolt of hope in her heart was answer enough.

She did.

Very much.

She plucked the file out, turned, and leaned her back against the cabinet, her knees drawing up. She opened it with trembling fingers, her heart crashing, her stomach twisting.

The first file was marked L-1, LIBY. The second L marked file, named L-2, LACY. The final L marked file, L-3, LUPA. Lacy scanned each one and set it aside when it didn't contain the information she wanted. Most of the stuff was case history crap. In hers, Dr. Nelson, the therapist, wrote: _Ms. Lacy displays characteristics of a narcissistic personality disorder, believing herself to be better than the other children._

Lacy blinked. Of course she did...because it was true.

In Lupa's: _Traits of clinical depression, bipolar disorder, and a deep-seated mistrust of and disrespect for authority figures._

Liby's: _Generalized anxiety disorder; OCD; panic disorder; social anxiety disorder; abandonment issues._

There was page after page of stuff like this, but nothing on their origins.

Until the end.

A single sheet of yellow paper headed CASE INTAKE stared back at her. Under that was a date ten years past.

She picked it up and began to read.

* * *

Lupa opens her eyes with a light gasp escaping her lips in a setting unfamiliar. She was sitting in a chair at a table-mahogany table. She looks around the darkness and smirks. She felt like she as if she were in an interrogation room of a police station somewhere; nothing new to her. The room has a singular light shining directly above her, while the rest of the room was in darkness. She wasn't sure what was happening, but didn't seem too bothered. She assumes it's just an office somewhere, where some cruel soul will sit across to say her and her sisters have to hit the road. She had a few sly remarks loaded in the verbal revolver she wielded-cocked and ready to defend her actions.

However, the quietness of the room was started to disturb her.

She reaches into her pocket for a cigarette, feeling like she'd need a quick nicotine fix before setting it off. She froze. She wasn't wearing her hoodie. She looks down to see what could have been the issue only to have her eyes buck. She was suddenly wearing a...school uniform. It has to be a private school uniform, navy blue sweater vest over a white short sleeve button down shirt with a tie of a darker blue shade around her neck. She had a midnight blue or pure black shirt on and what looked like general brown church shoes and knee high socks.

Lupa blinked from total loss. She was totally thrown for a loop. She patted her hair and gasped lightly. It was shorter and felt...silky, like it been just washed and brushed. She would normally take a comb and aimlessly bat it through her bed head when she'd wake up in the morning, but she never actually sat down and tried to style it. But it felt so clean, light and, to her, most likely cute in appearance. It made her gag a bit. This wasn't her. She doesn't dress like this. She would NEVER dress like this for anyone.

"Something is wrong…" she said to herself.

She gasped.

"W-Wha?!" she said to herself in a panic. Her voice wasn't the low, cold and mildly deadpan, gravelly delivery. Insted it had a more...bubbly, cutesy, buttery delivery to it. It felt so wrong to hear her own voice. She didn't even notice her body at that point began to shake.

"M-My voice! What the heck happened to my-" she paused.

Heck? She was trying to say "hell". What the "HELL" happened to her voice.

"What the f-f-f-f-f-fudge?!" She said. "Fuck!" she thought. She can't even swear like she'd normally do.

She was still sitting in the lone beam of light in the room with the rest still coated in darkness. Lupa usually was never fazed by fear, but right now, for the first time ever, she is legitimately terrified. It's like she's not even herself but she is herself-the clothes, the hair, her voice-nothing felt very Lupa to her. But...she was Lupa. But she wasn't Lupa. But why is that? Where is she? What's happening? Who's watching her? She scoffs and had the most Lupa thing on her mind-to get the hell out of there before things got any weirder. Alas, she couldn't even be granted that luxury.

The sound of two clicks sounded off above her, causing her body to stiffen and not move like she would like. In front of her, across the table, a vision appears before her-her two siblings.

Both of them dressed the same as her. Liby lacking her long hair and her headgear with Lacy without a sight only rang more alarms in Lupa. This was wrong-this wasn't them. It couldn't be her sisters. At that thought, both of them looked directly at her. They looked...clean. Their hair looked lush, eyes clear and their appearance-perfect.

The two managed up a smile.

"Good evening, sister!" they said in unison.

Lupa could feel her eye twitch and her body tense. The greeting was too unsettling and had this sinister spell to it. She ignores this feeling of unease. Lupa is able to ride against her unease and leans toward the table.

"G-Girls…" Lupa said in her new, girlish voice, causing her to groan. "I don't have time to explain, but we need to get out of here!"

Her sisters giggled. She snaps back into place before moving forward to the table. Something about their cheery response filled her with a thick dread.

Liby stops giggling with a pleasantly soft sigh.

"Lupa, my silly sister, why would we ever leave?" Liby said.

Lupa couldn't understand why her sisters sounded so peppy and confederate. Liby is normally too shy to look away from her and Lacy any other day. No-this is wrong. That can't be her Liby.

"What are you talking about?" Lupa asked softly. "Where even are we?"

Lacy clears her throat.

"We're home, Lupa" Lacy said plainly. "Don't you remember? It's dinnertime."

Lupa blinked.

*Clink!*

The muffled thud of porcelain hitting the wood table in front of her. She looks before her to see a plate of spaghetti. It looks like something from the magazines. Golden noodles with a bright red tomato sauce, bits of sausage, onion and peppers with perfectly spherical meatballs. The faint scent of wine rising from the steam of the meal along with hints of garlic. This spaghetti wasn't that spicy ketchup and generi-pasta slop from the home.

Lupa noticed a fork appearing in her hand. She gasped. She looked up to her sisters and saw them eating and enjoying their dinner in such a casual manner, it actually upset her. How dare they treat this so normally while she rattled in fear. She was slowly getting more upset at the thought. She stared at her siblings, expecting them to look up from their plates and await her interactions. Nothing like that happened. They just ate and spoke among themselves, saying something to Lupa here and there, but Lupa was growing so angry, everything sounded muffled.

Then, a heavenly sansation.

The buttery and zesty delight on her pasta dinner somehow found its way in her mouth. Angel hair pasta. Seasoned meats. Flavored oils. Was she eating? She looked at the fork that was in her hand to see spaghetti rolled perfectly around the teeth of the stainless steel instrument, bleeding sauce onto the festive flavors were dancing wildly on the beds of her tongue. Food-actual food. Something warm and not from a can, plastic tub, or government stamped brown box. She looks up from her plate to see her happy looking sisters. This moment felt...wrong.

Why was she eating? She didn't even know where it came from. She allowed the fork to plop onto the meal, making a clunk sound as it dug down and hit the plate. Lacy and Liby looked at Lupa with silence, mouths full of food. Lupa slammed her hands on the table and raised up.

"The heck, girls?!" Lupa shouted. "Why are you guys not freaked out by the-"

"Lupa, dear!" said a sweet yet booming feminine voice that sounded off to her right. "Please don't shout at the table!"

"She's right, dear!" said a hearty male voice that sounded off to her left. "Listen to your mother!"

The sound of canned laughter is heard.

Lupa blinked.

"Wha…?" Lupa said.

Lupa looks around and was taken aback. On her left and her right. Darkness. Lupa looks ahead to her sisters and grew paler. Their faces were buried into their food, the skin color blueish and the rims of their eye purple and shollowen. Lupa covered her mouth and trembled in her chair. They were dead.

"W-What the fuck just happened..?" Lupa thought to herself. "I looked away fro a second…they can't be….they...j-just can't be…"

Tears flooded her face and her face began to ball up, every knot in her face full of sorrow. This couldn't be happening-canned laughter filled the room. Out of the blue, two beams of lights appear on both sides of her, the overlapping of the recorded laughter muffling the room as the bodies of her dead siblings, is eaten and erased by the white light, along with the table and her. Lupa didn't make a sound. White. Pure whiteness. The scene, the voices that were there, the lights, her sisters-gone.

Lupa is the one on there. She looks around to pause. A low humming is heard.

"Do not take...medicine…" a voice rung.

Lupa stood still.

"Do not...leave sisters…" The voice sung. "There is no happiness...there…"

Lupa looks up to the sky.

"They will...lie…"

"They will….hide…"

"Do no...let him in…he is innocent...but she...she serves two masters...she will ruin all...all will come to light...then baptized in black.."

Silence swamps the space as the world slowly grows dim.

* * *

"Lupa?"

"Lupa..?"

"L-Lupa?"

"Yo, Lupa!"

Lupa's eyes opened wide and she sat up bleeding sweat, gasping like she recovered from drowning from the deep end. She runs her fingers through her hair before turning to her side. Next to her, in the dead of night, was her sisters. Lupa's eye's slightly watered. She hopped off the covers of her bed, grabbed ahold of her sisters and hugged them closely.

Liby and Lacy traded looks and just joined the hug, hoping to breeze pass the fact they were out past curfew.

"I'm so glad to see you.." an emotional Lupa said, giving a faint smile.

Lacy chuckled and sighed with a smug smirk. "Geez, sis. I know I'm amazing but…" Lacy teased.

Liby smiled brightly. "T-Thanks, Lupa...w-we love you t-"

Suddenly, Lupa grabs the collars of both of their shirts and pulled them towards her, yanking the two toward the bed. Both gave a meek yelp as Lupa gives them a stern face.

"Where have you two been?!" Lupa growled through her teeth. "You were suppose to be here-"

Lupa paused to look at the clock on her nightstand.

"Two hours ago!" Lupa finished.

Lacy pulled away from Lupa's grasp and held up a sheet of yellow paper. "We were getting this," she said, her lips turning up in a proud little smile that Lupa was all too familiar with. I succeeded just like I knew I would, it said. Sometimes Lupa found it endearing...other times she found it annoying and had to fight really hard to keep from slapping it off her lips. Right now, after that terrible fucking dream, it was beautiful.

"What is it?" Lupa asked.

Lacy held it out, and Lupa took it, dropping to the edge of the bed, Liby and Lacy sitting on either side of her. The only illumination came from cold light spilling in from the hall, so she had to squint.

CASE INTAKE.

Below that were the words: DATE OF SURRENDER followed by a date ten years ago last month.

Beneath that were their names and ages: Lupa (2), Lacy (2), and Liby (3). A brief note followed: Children were turned over to state by parents. No signs of physical or sexual abuse or neglect.

Lupa's chest tightened. "Where did you get this?" she asked.

"The file room," Lacy said, "me and Liby went down there."

"Why?"

"Just keep reading."

Lupa glanced at her sister, then back to the page. Toward the bottom was a box labeled PARENTS followed by two thick black lines. There was a third box. It' was blacked out except for one part-the name of a town. Royal Woods

A pink sticky note was adhered to the very bottom of the page. On it, someone had written: PAID UP FRONT. BLA- RECORDS.

"That's our parents' location," Lacy said, a note of excitement in her voice.

Lupa ignored her. BLA. What the hell did that mean? And paid upfront...paid upfront for what? She looked up at Lacy, who was smiling widely now. "You know...home."

"Home?" Lupa blurted, her mouth puckering as though the word was sour.

Lacy nodded.

Lupa started to speak, but trailed off. For the first time in her life she was utterly speechless. What did Lacy mean by home? "Our parents abandoned us," she said, trying to stay patient. "We have no home."

"There's gotta be someone else," Lacy argued, "aunts or grandparents...and maybe our parents miss us and want us back." She was practically glowing at the prospect...and the hope Lupa saw in her eyes, the dumb, blind, optimistic hope made her inexplicably angry. She had enough to deal with on a daily basis without Lacy getting herself and Liby all worked up over a piece of fucking paper.

It was that dumb show; it got them thinking. This wasn't the first time something like that had happened - they'd see a movie with a happy mama bear, daddy bear, and baby bear, and get all sentimental. It was really fucking irritating because there's no place for sentiment here, only grim resignation. Maybe spoiled little rich kids living in the suburbs can afford it, but not them. Lupa learned that the hard way. She had hope once...she got sentimental...and you know what that got her? Shit. It got her shit...and heartache. She tried again and again to get them to realize this, but they just wouldn't listen.

They were setting themselves up for failure.

"Lacy," she said firmly, "our parents do not want us...our aunts and uncles, if we have any, do not want us. Nobody wants us. If they did, we wouldn't be here right now."

A shadow flickered across Lacy's face. Maybe it was anger...maybe it was self-doubt. "You don't know that," she said, "we could have a whole family that loves us. We -"

"We don't," Lupa said, fighting to keep the annoyance from her voice. "Look, I get what you're feeling, but you need to face facts: Our family gave us up. Even if there are...fifty fucking people in that town related to us, what good will that do us? They already kicked us out once." Her voice was beginning to rise as her anger started to get away from her. "What do you want to do? Go there like a dumbass smiling all over yourself just to be turned away? Real smart. Let's go begging to a bunch of adults even though every adult in the whole world has fucked us over."

Lacy's eyes narrowed. "You know what? Fuck you. I am gonna go there. So is Liby. Better than sitting here and waiting to be shipped off."

Lupa started to say something, but stopped. She wasn't wrong about the waiting to be shipped off part. Tomorrow, or the next day at the latest, they were out the door, and probably going in three different directions to boot.

"I-I think we should go," Liby said, "I really want a family."

"You have a family," Lupa said and slapped the edge of her palm against her thigh, "me and Lacy. There's no one else."

"You don't know that," Lacy said.

"Yes I do," Lupa said tightly.

"No you don't," Lacy said and got up. "You're just being gloomy and shit. You're afraid to hope or something."

A ball of hot rage formed in Lupa's chest, and she pressed her fingertips to her temples. Were they really this goddamn naive? It was simple: They were unwanted...they were given up...a-a-and that was that. How could they not see that?

She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. She understood where they were coming from...but they needed to suck it up. "I'm being rational," she finally said.

"Staying here and waiting for Matt to kick our asses out is rational?" Lacy asked, her hands going to her hips.

Lupa sighed. "We'll go. Tonight. Now."

"Great," Lacy said, "to Royal Woods."

"No, not to Royal Woods," Lupa said, "there's nothing in Royal Woods."

Lacy bent at the waist. "You. Don't. Know. That."

Lupa loved her sisters...she wanted to protect them from being needlessly hurt...but Lacy was a stubborn little bitch sometimes. She needed to learn the hard way. "Fine," Lupa said, "alright, let's go." She jumped to her feet. "Let's get kicked to the curb again since you morons haven't had enough of that already. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll meet our uncle Bill, he'll take us in...and then molest us. Doesn't that sound fun?"

A ripple of uncertainty crossed Liby's face.

"It sure does to me," Lupa said and turned to Lacy. "How about you? Doesn't that sound like a good time?"

Lacy pursed her lips but didn't speak.

Shaking her head, Lupa crossed to her dresser and yanked the top drawer out. "Pack your best panties, girls; gotta look nice for Uncle Bill the Rapist." She rummaged through underwear and socks until she found it, a thin wad of bills she'd saved up doing extra chores. Four twenties - eighty measly dollars. It was all she had. All they had.

"We're not gonna get raped," Lacy said to Liby, who was starting to hyperventilate.

Maybe not physically, but emotionally. Well...not her, but them. They were going to get their hopes up only to have them dashed to bits.

Well...that was on them. Right now she couldn't worry about their feelings...she had to worry about what the hell they were going to do after finding Royal Woods a bust. Where would they go? How would they live? That was her burden, and right now she had to bear it alone because they were too starry eyed and building castles in the fucking sky.

Flashing, she slammed the drawer closed and turned; Lacy and Liby sat side-by-side, Lacy's arm around Liby's shoulder and Liby's gaze downcast.

"Good job," Lacy said, "now she's worried about getting raped."

Lupa went over to the nightstand, opened it, and took out her cigarettes. "No one's gonna rape you," she said and slammed the drawer, "we're not good enough for love...we're not even good enough to fuck."

Lacy throws her hands up in a quick spastic motion and groans loudly.

"Why?" Lacy nearly shouted.

Lupa scoffs. "Why what?"

"Why are you so against this?!" Lacy snapped. "We have no other options!"

Lupa stares at Lacy.

"Because it's hopeless," Lupa said coldly. "They don't care about us!"

"How the HELL do you know that, Lupa?!" Lacy shouted.

Lupa groans and digs through her nightstand again aimlessly. Liby stares at the floor while Lacy stares daggers at her sister. Lupa pulls out a medium sized atlas of the United States and tossed it on her bed. She opens it up and thumbs through the pages.

Liby lifted her head quickly like she wanted to say something, but pauses, only to be scared of Lupa's or Lacy's reaction to her statement.

"...G...H….I...J….K…" Lupa mumbled to herself. Lacy lets out a groan before Lupa slams her finger in the center of the page. "Aha! Michig-"

Lupa freezes. Lacy and Liby looked at one another, lost why Lupa stopped so ebruitly.

Lupa sighs.

"It's worse than I thought…" Lupa said with a chuckle. She hops off the bed and walks across the room and sighs, cig at the ready.

As Lupa places the cig to her lips, the other two stared at the page. Lotown was to the south while Royal Woods is to the north. The two girls get excited and lightly squeal, so happy they know where the town is. Lupa could only inhale and rub her temples.

"I can't believe it!" Lacy said it. "It's not far from here!"

Liby shares in her sisters delight. "I know! I'm so ex-" Liby started before stopping. She shook a bit before turning to Lupa, who had her back turned to her. Lacy turns her head to Liby, confused about her sister's sudden behavior. "Lupa…" Liby asked softly. "H-How far is Royal Woods-"

"Thirty minutes" Lupa said coldly.

Lacy looks up to Lupa from the bed."W-What..?" Lacy said.

"Thirty. Goddamn. Minutes…" Lupa repeated. "They are basically up the damn road. If they really 'cared' or really "missed us', it would take them ZERO time to come see us. But guess what?" said Lupa as she walked over to the atlas. She grabbed it and tossed it back into nightstand drawer without a care. "They. Never. Came. Back…"

Lacy and Liby are quiet now. None of them were aware of the town of Royal Woods or just how close it is. All they knew was Lotown. The abandoned trap houses on Lakeview, the hookers and suffer of kerosene on Riggsdale, the hot shit smell of Commons and the loud cloud of toxic sin that looms over Zel Island, the house graveyard in Figgs, the rumble walled ghost town of on State Fairgrounds-this was all they knew. To marinate on the thought that their so-called parents left them here, in a town so dead and dangerous, why bother looking for them? Even if they were close by?

Lupa takes a long drag on her cigarette.

Lacy looked to the ground while Liby's eyes started to water. Lupa knew there's no way they can be happy here. But, she was also sure the chance at happiness there was dead and buried forever ago. They were stuck in a town that's decaying, breeding crime, murder and full of people who haven't even finished middle school. Lupa knew that on their own, the chances of them dying are higher. Starving, freezing to death, being raped or sold into prostitution, getting hooked on drugs-everything evil that could happen might. However, Lupa was smart. She could plan a way to keep everyone safe enough to where they can live decent lives. They could eat. They can sleep soundly. They didn't need a mom or dad. Lupa could sell drugs. She could steal cars. She could do anything to keep them afloat-

"Let's do it anyway…" Lacy said quietly.

Lupa coughs mid-drag and looks to Lacy.

"What?" Lupa said in a flat tone. Completely baffled by such a ludicrous statement.

Lacy walks over to the window and sighs.

"I have hope…" Lacy said. "Me and Liby have hope...I know you love us, Lupa. I know. But we don't have anywhere else to go. And the chances of us making it to see eighteen years old is laughable here...we're going to die here...and I don't wanna die yet…"

Lacy sniffles. "Not yet…" she said with a heavy voice as she starts to cry.

Lupa freezes. Lacy doesn't just cry. She usually does when she fails at something...so often. But to have her cry because something other than her pride is broken shocked Lupa. It even struck a chord with her.

"H-Hey, Lacy-" Lupa started.

Lacy quickly turns to Lupa. "Sure!" Lacy nearly shouted as she points at Lupa. "W-We could still go and leave you here! But we're not gonna! W-We want to be happy! We want a chance! But I'm not doing it without you!"

Lupa stands there, looking away as the loosie stayed lit in her mouth. Lacy walks slowly to Lupa.

"Gimme your hand…" Lacy requested.

Lupa groans. "Lace.." Lupa said softly.

"Gimme…" Lacy demanded.

Lupa slowly and reluctantly lifts up her hand and Lacy holds it and chuckles.

"Lotown girls unite...remember?" Lacy said.

Lupa's cheeks brighted after hearing such an embarrassing statement. She always regretted saying it-it wasn't cool.

"I-I was 6 when I said that, Lace-" Lupa started.

"But it means something to me-to us" Lacy says and she turns to Liby.

Liby, holding tears walked over and held her hand over her sisters'. Lacy smiled and turns to Lupa.

"We are in this together. We're all we ever had. And...and I don't want to live a happy life. Or a sad life-any life...without you with me…" Lacy said.

"Please…" Liby said. "Can we at least try. W-We can at least see what's out there. But we aren't leaving you here."

"Come on, you Ice Queen-Lotown Girls?! Lacy asked.

Lupa couldn't believe it. What a corny thing to say. How cliche. How childish. This wasn't some run-to-the-mill after school special. This wasn't Lifetime. This wasn't one of those stupid, cheaply tacked together sitcoms these two were crying over mere hours ago. Lupa knew this, but why did all this stuff touched her so deeply? Lupa was firm. Blunt. She's been this way for what seemed like ever. But is there's one thing that never seems to change, it's the love for her sisters. She knows if they go, the chances of disappointment will be at its highest. And she feels the only way they will understand happiness isn't in Royal Woods is to go for themselves, she thinks it will be the best lesson. However, Lupa knew deep down, she would never let her sisters fall victim to the wolves. She'd dive in and die for them before that ever happened.

Lupa sighed and walked away from her sister, nearly causing their pleading faces to draw frowns of despair. She heads back to her bed, making the other think they didn't do enough to motivate her. Out of the blue, Lupa pulls out a duffel bag and opens it on her bed and starts for her dresser. Lacy and Liby's mouths gaped.

Lupa sighed.

"We have to make a few stops before we head that way. It'll be a few hours, but if we are really going to do this, we have to be prepared for-" Lupa started.

"Oh, my! L-Lupa! You're serious?!" Liby said shocked.

Lacy smiled widely. "Does this mean we're going?!"

"Just...pack your shit before I change my mind…" Lupa jested with a chuckle.

The other two started to randomly pick things up, zipping back and forth and running into one another as they do it. Lupa just folded her clothes and placed them calmly in her bag and shook her head silently, finding how excited they were comical and sweet. However, her smile begins to fade, for she believes this may lead to nothing but pain.

* * *

She wakes up with a gasp. That dream again. The one dream when she came downstairs and saw that awful moment.

She trembles and sighs. She's just in her bed. She wipes the beading sweat that nearly hovered along the skin of her forehead with a swift flick of the palm. She sucks air in through her adorable gap in her teeth and combs through her blonde hair with her manicured nails as the pearl colored nail polish shine like clothes metal in the moonlight. As she tries to think about the awful dream again, she pauses. A whimper.

She turns her head to see a little girl there. Long blonde hair, mess and thrown every which way. It was her sister.

"Lizy?" the girl asked quietly but sweetly. "What's the matter?"

The little girl known as simply Lizy hugged her stuffed green dragon toy closely to her chest, looking down before looking back to her sister with shining sad eyes. The girl could only say "Awwww…"

"I had a bad dream…" said Lizy as she holds her dragon toy for protection.

Leia shook her head.

"No, no, we can't have that" she said calmly in an attempt to soothe her fearful sibling. "What to sleep with Lei-Lei?"

The girl quickly nodded. The girl moves over to make room for the child, who couldn't be more than three years old. Lizy places the dragon between her and her sister and laid down as the girl sweps her long pink silk nightgown back under the covers and laid down as well. She turns to her sister with a sleepy face but a warm smile.

"Better?" she asked softly.

Lizy nods with a smile.

"Now get some rest, okay?" asked the girl.

"Okay. Love you, Leia…" said Lizy as she slowly closed her eyes, hugging her little fuzzy friend for comfort.

"Love you too, Liz…" Leia said softly.

Leia stared at the ceiling, sleepy but unable to return to sleep. There was this strange thickness in the air-a dense sense of confusion. It bothered her. Unable to shut her eyes, she feels as if something was wrong. Something very strange was about to happen. She didn't know why this was or where it's coming from but she sensed something was indeed amiss. Maybe it's just the fear from the dream she had. Maybe not.

She closes her eyes and tries to catch up on her sleep before the morning creeps in, but she doesn't sleep a wink.


	3. A Feeling of Disquiet

**Lyrics to** _ **Adaptation**_ **by The Weeknd (2013);** _ **I Know Where I Am Now**_ **by Jake Hess (1998);** _ **Holiday in Cambodia**_ **by Dead Kennedys (1980).**

5:30 AM. The alarm clock goes off. Leia was still wide awake from the night before. As the buzzing from the clock sounded off from the night stand, Leia motions her hand over to the clock and slammed on the snooze button and lightly sighed. She stretches subtly, looking toward her left at her baby sister. Sleeping like a stone, snuggled happily with her stuffed toy. Leia gave a soft smile, happy that her sister feels safe with her. She leans over and kisses her gently on the forehead. As she starting to get a bed, a soft moaning is head. Leia turned her head to see Lizy opening her eyes sleepily.

"Lei?" Lizy asked softly.

Leia hated being called that. However, she was never mad at Lizy saying it. To her, Lizy could call her that anytime she wanted.

Leia strokes Lizy's hair, her blond mane dancing along Leia's pearl colored nail polish.

"Go back to sleep, okay?" Leia said softly. "It's too early and I have to go to school."

Lizy was too sleepy not to comply. She closed her eyes and held her stuffed friend close. Leia got out of bed and walked over to her vanity. She stares at the mirror as she reaches to flick the light on the mirror on. She dims the lights, afraid of waking Lizy again. On a side table near the vanity was a common record player. Leia takes a simple record and places it on the player. She lowers the volume and drops the needle gently on a random spot on the record.

 _When the sun goes up, you're searching for a love_

 _So your heart won't lead you to anyone_

 _When the sun goes down, I know what you become_

 _You become awake, unlike the rest of us_

She goes through her process for every school day. She begins to brush her hair, each stroke focused and proper to neat if the ties. After a quick brush she lifts one side of hair to set her pigtails.

 _I lay my head on a thousand beds_

 _It's been a test to see how far a man, can go without himself_

Leia sets her ponytails up and stares into the mirror in silence.

 _I think I lost the only piece that held it all in place_

 _Now my madness is the only love I let myself embrace_

 _I could've stayed_

As much as she loved Lizy and the rest of her siblings, she couldn't help to think, even after only six years on this earth, that something about her life seemed off. She doesn't know when but at some point, she had this looming feeling her mother and father, weren't too keen on them. Mainly her father. Not to mention the wide flood of aunts she had. Rita, her mother, always seemed to be worried and jittery. She's always been like this and always looked like she was never in a state of peace. Like she was guilty of something. Leia always assumed that it was just her getting there in age, considering how much older she was that her sisters. Her Aunt Lori was 38. Her mother was pushing her mid 60s.

 _But I chose the lie_

 _I chose the life_

 _Then I realized_

Her father was the same in terms of age and having younger siblings. Aunt Luna was 36 and her Aunt Lisa was 25. Not to mention her father was a lot less responsive to her and her sisters. He was cold, bitter, quick to judge. He always left this impression he hated his children. He would just go to work and come home and plant himself on the sofa and watch television, not leaving unless it's to go eat, use the bathroom or go to bed. Every day, the same thing with him.

 _She might have been the one_

 _I let it go_

 _For a little fun_

The thought didn't seem important, but she thinks it's strange. Her mother tries her hardest to make things normal, but everyone notices she often comes off panicky. She couldn't make heads or tails of it. She just felt there was something of weird element to their family. Maybe her Aunt Lola would know. She knows everything. Leia stopped thinking for a second to realize she was wasting time. Lyra will show up soon enough to too her to school.

 _I made a trade_

 _Gave away our days_

 _For a little fame_

She walks over to her closet. She opens it to see her outfit already prepped and ready for her to wear. Her basic uniform is the following: Navy blue sweater vest. Short sleeve button down shirt with a tie of a darker blue shade. Midnight blue or pure black skirt. Brown church shoes. Knee high socks. Same clothes every weekday. James Yancey Academy had a very strict dress code and this was what the school enforced the students to wear.

 _Now I'll never see your face_

 _But it's okay I adapted anyway_

She assembles her clothes quickly at walks over to her mirror to take one more look at herself before venturing to the bathroom. She was pleased with her appearance. She turns off the light to the mirror and lifts the needle of the record. Leia takes one last look at Lizy and smiles to herself. She heads for the door, picking up her backpack on the way out.

She stands in the middle of the dark hallway and sighs. She turns her attention to the bathroom and starts walking. As she passes a few rooms she stops at the on down the hall to her right. She turns her head to the right and sighs. The sounds of rapid clicking, empty cans clanking, and muffled talking is heard.

Loan and her stupid computer games. The girl is walking that thin line into a hermit lifestyle. She's a ball of wired nerves who flinches and wigs out at the simplest things. One would assume it's all the caffeine she intakes or the fact she sleeps after game binges. At 21, she still bums around in the house. She doesn't work. She has no friends. She's not even considering college-it bugged mom to no end. However, dad was never the one to care. Honestly, neither should Leia at this moment. Her classes started at 7 AM, unlike other schools. She had to hurry for the carpool.

Leia opens the door to the bathroom and shuts it behind her. She makes her way to the sink and grips her toothbrush and her Pearly Gates whitening toothpaste. She turns on the sink and applies her toothpaste. She begins to brush her teeth. As she does, she thinks back to her family once again. She wasn't rich or upper class like a lot of her classmates or any of the people her and her clique would extort. But she would often hear tales about them and their families. She couldn't lie-she was jealous. She heard tales about going on camping trips, big and happy birthdays, nice family dinners. And how everyone in their family were so close and happy. Leia never got parents aren't totally strapped on cash, but they weren't very open to doing family stuff outside the house. There were no game nights or going out to the movies like a family. Eating dinner together is only something one would see on television. People here got their plates and ate in different rooms. Birthdays? Mom would hand you a gift and leave the room. Won't even stay to see you open it. That's all.

And dad? Everyone try with him. But Leia couldn't help it. She HATED the man. He was cold, empty and bitter. She recalls a few months ago.

It was her father's birthday. He spent his whole day sitting on the couch and watched TV. She remembered Lizy going downstairs to give her birthday gift to him. She spent the whole day drawing a picture for him. A drawing how her hugging him. Lizy told her sisters about it all day, proud she was making this for him. The devotion she showed making it wasn't ignored by any of them, however, none of them were sure how everything will pan out. Until she actually went downstairs that night to show it to him. Leia was creeping on the top of the steps, watching over Lizy to see how things were going. Lizy stood next to the couch where her father sat. He didn't speak, but he darted his eyes toward her direction. Lizy wasn't fazed. Still smiling at him. Leia remembers Lizy's words.

"I made you this drawing, daddy!" Lizy said. "Happy birthday! I worked really hard on it!"

She gave him the drawing and he held it and stared at it for a while. He shook and that made Lizy worry.

"Daddy...why are you crying? Are you okay?" Lizy asked him with sincerity.

She remembered Lizy trying to reach out to him and he just...snapped. He shot up and pushed Lizy to the ground, palming her on the forehead. Lizy hit the ground with a thud. The moment scared her so much, she started crying. Leia remembered dashing down the stairs asher father stood over her sister and diving on Lizy, covering her. She can see the frightened look on his face and all she can say at that moment set her feelings for him, something that was boiling over.

"You bastard! Don't you ever touch her!" she howled.

Her father stood still like a statue as Leia picked her crying sister up and took her upstairs.

Leia stops brushing her teeth and sighs. She looks to the mirror and stared. Maybe she overreacted. Maybe not. But it didn't change the fact she was indeed set on her feelings for her father. He was a bastard to her. Anyone who would hurt Leia in her eyes was scum. Anyone who would hurt her siblings at all are scum-

 _Knock, knock, knock._

There was a knock at the door. Leia walks to the door and opens it. It was Liena. She stood there with a mildly concerned face. Liena was what people would consider "a little thick". She had this bleached blonde hair, light green overall-dress combo tied with a purple scarf. Other than her size, she was nothing but a giant sweetheart. She was an amazing cook, could clean a house, was very smart-she was just a splendid woman. However, Liena never spoke much. She mainly speaks through expressions, gestures and such. No one really knew why, but just learned to deal with that. It did make her a very good listener.

Leia puts on a soft smile.

"Hey, Liena.." Leia said calmly.

Liena pulls out her phone.

"Lyra is outside?" Leia asked.

Liena nods and then stares at Leia while playing with her hands.

Leia hugs Liena without a thought.

"I'm okay, sis-promise" Leia assured her.

Liena hugs her back and gives her a nervous smile. Leia could tell Liena wasn't truly convinced. The two walked down the stairs and out there door. Outside, an overcast painted the sky, A gloomy gray drowning the sun above. 6 AM on the dot every time, Lyra was outside in that black SUV, ready to get things in order in the morning. Loan was usually never reliable to drive them in the morning because of her terrible sleep cycle and her mother and father were very strange about being seen in public with them, so Lyra helps pick up the slack.

Liena wasted no time getting in the passenger seat with a sleepy looking Lyra while Leia walks to the back. She opens the door to the backseats and sighs. No surprise. Cousin Lemy wasn't back there.

Though she didn't show it as she climbed in, she was disappointed; more often than not these days he walked to school, and she didn't get to see him. They were total opposites - he had this grody rocker thing going on - but deep down, they were a lot of like. He didn't look it, but he was very deep and sensitive, and he, too, had the feeling that something with their family was off. Sometimes they spent long hours talking about it, trying in a fumbling, roundabout way to find an answer, and from there perhaps, to find a solution.

She hated to admit it, but he had it worse than she did: His mom, Luna, was a drunk and junkie who spent her days passed out on the floor and her nights 'partying' with an endless stream of men whom she sometimes brought home to their cramped, dirty one bedroom apartment; Lemy told her once about pulling the covers over his head to escape the sounds and smells of loveless coupling emanating from the next bed over, heart slamming with expectant fear because sometimes, his mother wasn't enjoying it, and sometimes, the man got violent. A few times he slipped out and spent the night with her - she had to sneak him in because Dad disliked Lemy more than any of his daughters. On those nights, which had become rarer and rarer, he often had bruises on his face and tears in his eyes, and all she could do was lay in bed with him and hold him. Sometimes he broke down and wept, but mostly he just stewed until exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep.

Lately, he'd been withdrawing from both her and Lyra and spending most of his time in a junkyard near the bus station. Sometimes he texted her to meet him there, and when she did, she always found him sitting under a tree between a pile of rusted metal and a gutted yellow school bus, his knees drawn up to his chest and a hard glint in his eyes; brows heavy, lips puckered. She didn't like to get dirty, but she would sit in the dust beside him without a second thought and see if he wanted to talk. If he did, she would listen and do her best to help him; if he didn't, she would take him hand, thread her fingers through his, and simply be there for him. _I love you, Lemy, and you're not alone._

Presently, Leia pulled the door closed behind her. Lyra twisted around in the driver seat and smiled brightly. "Hey!" Her thick chestnut hair spilled down her back in a peppy ponytail and her slender frame was clad in a modest light pink dress that reached her knees. A silver cross laid flat in the hollow of her throat, and her freckled face beamed with a warmth that always struck Leia as artificial.

"Hey," Leia said. Leia buckled the safety belt over her lap, her skirt wrinkled; she hurriedly smoothed it out so that the creases wouldn't set.

"How are you guys today?" Lyra asked as she turned back to the wheel; her eyes darted from Liena to the rearview mirror.

In the passenger seat, Liena smiled and nodded.

"Fine," Leia said, "you?"

"Pretty good," Lyra said. She put the car in drive and spun the wheel, navigating away from the curb. It began to drizzle as they reached the end of Franklin Avenue and turned onto Patridge Street, drops splattering faintly against the grimey windshield. "How did Aunt Luan like her gift?"

"She loved it." Leia glanced at Liena, who was staring out the window now, her hands folded in her lap.

Yesterday was Aunt Luan's birthday, though you'd never know it from the grave, funeral atmosphere in the house. Nothing marked the passage of another year save for the cheap Walmart earrings Lyra gave to Leia. _Here, it's from all of us -_ something told her that really meant _it's only from me._ Luan took them with a weak smile and a muttered 'thanks' and that was that. Happy Birthday.

Lyra nodded. "Good, I'm glad."

They lapsed into awkward silence, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. Leia loved her cousin, but she found it hard to connect with her: She was a goody two shoes with an insufferable perky attitude that drove Leia up the wall if she wasn't careful. Leia did well in school, but Lyra was the classic teacher's pet: Straight As, honor roll, and proud. Listening to her talk about her grades, Leia couldn't help feeling that she was bragging. _Look at me, I'm sooo much better than you._ At first, Leia couldn't stand it, but then she realized that in a life such as Lyra's, you need something to hang onto. For Leia, it was Lemy and Lizy, for Lyra it was overachieving, God, and playing mother to Lemy. Say what you want about her, but she was a far better mother than Luna because she actually gave a crap.

In her pocket, her phone buzzed, and Leia fished it out to find a text from her friend Gwen. _Cutie at 12 o'clock_ it said, followed by a yellow smiley face with hearts for eyes. As Leia stared at the screen, a picture appeared: A boy from behind, clad in a green military style coat and black watch cap. His hands were shoved into the oversized pockets of his jacket and his head was bowed as if against the wind.

Lemy.

 _Ew gross_ , Leia texted back, smiling as she did so. Gwen and her mother lived in the same building as Lemy and Lyra (five doors down, actually), and she had a huge crush on Lemy. Leia teased her about it, but she could definitely get what Gwen saw in him: He was sweet, caring, funny, and sometimes his eyes were so sad you just wanted to put your arms around him and make it all better. Leia caught flashes of that same sadness in Gwen's eyes from time to time, never very much or for very long, just a faint flicker, like a mask slipping then being pulled back into place. Leia thought they'd be good together. There were two problems, though. One, Lemy was a boy and boys are dense when it comes to things like this, you have to come right out and tell them that you like them. Two, Gwen was too shy to come right out and tell him that she liked him...which was funny, because if there was anything Gwen Myers was not, it was shy. She was tough, brash, abrasive, and outspoken. Get her around Lemy, though, and she was a completely different person; blushing, giggly, demure, and shaky. It was cute and kind of disturbing at the same time.

 _He's so hott!_ Gwen returned, and when Leia saw the eggplant emoji at the end, she burst out laughing. Lyra glanced into the mirror. "What's so funny?" she asked curiously.

Liena was looking at her too, her head cocked quizzically to one side in motherly curiosity.

"Nothing," Leia said, "just Gwen."

"Ah."

Leia got the impression that Lyra didn't like Gwen very much; why, she couldn't say. It's not like she knew about the shakedowns...right?

 _He's so not._

Leia was worried now. Lyra was the type who'd snitch; she was the girl whose hand shot up in class every time someone wasn't diligently and steadfastly staring at their textbook. If her father found out…

She shoved that thought aside. She didn't know what would happen if he found out, and she didn't want to.

They came to a stop at a red light; Lyra slipped a CD from a black case clipped to the visor and put into the CD player. Leia rolled her eyes; oh, God, not that Bill Gaither crap again. Light music filtered from the speakers, and Lyra nodded her head; her hands were at ten and two on the wheel, Leia noticed.

 _In life's travelling road show I've been a performer,_

 _When burdens were heavy, when days were too long;_

 _When there was a part for an old gospel singer,_

 _When folks needed hope I'd sing them my song._

Leia sighed and stared out the rain sluiced window - people hurried along the sidewalk as the rain began to pick up, lashing unprotected heads and shoulders like a furious whp. Lyra turned the windshield wipers on, and they squeaked across the glass.

 _I really wanna ask him out today._

Leia typed a message and sent it.

 _Do it then._

The light change and Lyra pressed her foot on the gas.

 _One of these days someone will lead me,_

 _Through Heaven's stage door and into the wing;_

 _There'll be a place in that final performance,_

 _I know my part and I'm ready to sing._

A dog lay dead in the gutter, its skeletal face turned toward the sky as if for a salvation that would never come. People passed it as though it wasn't even there, too wrapped up in themselves to care.

Would they care if it was her? Or Lizy?

Would her parents care?

She'd asked herself a variation of that question a million times in her short life, and each time, she arrived at the same dreadful answer: She didn't know. Mom might, but certainly not Dad. In fact, Dad would probably be happy. She could see him now sitting on the couch in his wifebeater, his face bathed in blue TV glow and his thin lips arranged in a slight, almost imperceptible smile of jubilation.

Who was she kidding? Mom wouldn't care either.

 _Don't worry 'bout me I know where I am now,_

 _Thanks for the hand but now I can stand I'll walk on alone;_

 _The faces of loved ones, the voice of my Father,_

 _I can hear, I can see don't worry 'bout me, I'm finally home._

Hot tears filled Leia's eyes, and she brushed them away at Lyra pulled up in front of the academy, a large gothic style building with spires, ramparts, and ivy covered walls. She looked down at at her phone. _I'm really nervous though._

 _I can hear, I can see don't worry 'bout me, I'm finally home._

"Alright," Lyra said and turned, smiling widely, fakely - fake just like everything else in her life. Sudden claustrophobia clutched her chest, and she fumbled with the belt, needing to get out of the car, to get where things were wide, open, and real. "Have a good day, hon."

Liena turned to bid Leia farewell, and her face dropped slightly at the little girl's state. She reached out just as the belt came undone. "A-Are you okay?" she asked in a low, breathy voice.

"I'm fine," Leia said. She grabbed her backpack and threw the door open, getting out into the rain and slamming the door. Raindrops pelted her head and shoulders as she rushed across the street, but she didn't notice, and wouldn't have cared if she had.

In the car, Lyra watched her little cousin go through the front gate with a pinched brow look of concern. When she turned around, Leia was pale and shaky, and her movements were jerky, reminding her uncomfortably of her mother when she was high and about to crash. And she couldn't be sure, but she thought there were tears in her eyes.

She turned to Liena, who stared worriedly after Leia. "Is she okay?"

Liena shrugged.

"Did anything happen this morning?"

Liena shook her head.

Lyra turned back to the window and frowned. A pang of sympathy rippled through her stomach, and for a moment she considered getting out and going after her...just to see if she was alright...but that would make her late for school, and the thought of being tardy even once made her feel panicky.

Sighing, she put the SUV in drive, pulled away from the curb, and fell in behind a slow moving sedan. The rain was getting heavier, and the overtaxed wiper blades were having a hard time keeping up; the SUV was nearly twenty years old and was on its last legs when she bought it the previous year, but it was hers, and she was immensely proud of it, even if the engine knocked and the brakes were shoddy. She worked long, thankless hours overnight to pay for it; it symbolized her determination, perseverance, and commitment to improving herself. Mom didn't even _have_ a car, and though Lyra knew it was wrong, she couldn't help taking secret pleasure in having what her mother did not.

Next to her, Liena was looking down at her phone and typing. "You texting Leia?"

Liena nodded.

As far as Lyra was concerned, Liena was the mother of her cousins, not Aunt Rita. Aunt Rita wasn't a bad woman, she was simply...not motherly. She tried, Lyra thought, but fell far short. For Liena, it came naturally, love and warmth radiating from her like heat from a fire. And Uncle Lynn...Lyra didn't like him. At all. The Bible says to honor thy mother and father, and to Lyra, that commandment extended to aunts and uncles, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find it within herself to give that man anything but mild disgust. He treated his children like garbage (when he treated them any way, which thankfully wasn't often), and when she was forced to be in the same room as him, he watched her from the corner of his eye with a sneer on his lips, as though she were a strange and repulsive bug.

She didn't understand why he was the way he was, and she no longer cared; she tried to psychoanalyze him, but sometimes people simply _are_.

Sighing, she took a left at an intersection, slowing as a group of kids crossed the street, their heads bent against the rain. Ahead, a school bus sat in the middle of the street, its red caution lights flashing.

"Is she okay?" she asked.

"I-I don't know," Liena muttered, "s-she says s-she is."

Lyra pursed her lips. She should have gone after her..

Ten minutes later, she pulled the SUV into the crowded parking lot of Royal County High, a low brick building with big windows along the front. A line of buses idled along the curb and a giant group of kids made their way through the front door. Lyra found a spot and pulled in, killing the engine. She was just reaching for the belt buckle when her phone rang in the console.

Her stomach dropped.

Oh, no.

For her, a phone call was never a good thing.

She picked it up and looked at the screen; when she saw the words ROYAL COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOL, her heart clutched.

Lemy.

Lemy was...he was a handful sometimes. He fought, smoked cigarettes, and caused trouble wherever he went. Two weeks ago, he was caught stealing candy from Flip's. Flip, being the hateful so-and-so he was, called the police, and Lyra had to pick him up at the police station. Before that, someone spray painted a bunch of cuss words in the stairwell of their building, and though she couldn't be certain, she thought it was him.

She loved her brother, and seeing him take this path killed her. More often than not, she laid awake at night worrying about him, her stomach nauseous, her chest tight. Sometimes she got into bed with him and held him close, her nose buried in his hair and her body pressed against his, as if to protect him.

It was Mom's fault. Lyra wasn't exactly sure how, but she knew it as surely as she knew her own name. More than once, she considered taking Lemy and leaving, going somewhere far, far away , where they could be safe and happy - together - but what kind of life could she make for them? She was seventeen and hadn't even graduated high school yet. She couldn't even give him what Mom gave him, and that made her feel so inferior and ashamed that she could cry.

Steeling herself, she answered the phone and lifted it to her ear. "Hello?"

Her eyes darted to the side; Liena watched her expectantly.

"Hello, Miss Loud?"

Years ago, Lyra gave the school her number as Lemy's primary contact because Mom couldn't, or wouldn't, give a crap when they called. There were times he needed to be picked up and Mom said she'd be there...then never showed. The last time, he spent four hours with the principal after school, and Lyra worried sick not knowing where he was. She asked Mom and she said she didn't know, then 'remembered'. That was the final straw.

"Yes?"

"This is Principal Harker, how are you?"

His tone was smiling, manufactured, as phony as the toupee he wore on his head.

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Good, good. I'm calling in regards to Lemy. He hasn't been to school in quite some time and I'm beginning to worry."

Lyra blinked. "He hasn't?"

"No, he hasn't," he confirmed, and there was an accusatory edge in his voice that Lyra didn't like.

Darn it. Lemy was known to skip school, but after the last time, when the truant officer picked him up at the arcade, he promised her that he wouldn't anymore. A strange feeling of betrayal came over her, and tears filled her eyes. _Why would he do this to me? Why would he lie?_

"He'll be there tomorrow," she said resolutely.

"Good, I'd hate to see him get in anymore trouble this year."

Lyra _really_ didn't like his tone now. "Thank you," she said tightly and hit the END button. Tossing her phone into the console, she sighed heavily. "Lemy's skipping school again," she said, and Liena nodded sadly that she understood. Lyra drummed her fingers on the wheel and stared at the school, torn. She didn't want to miss a day, but Lemy was out there somewhere doing God knows what. She couldn't ignore that and go about her business like nothing. That's something Mom would do.

Glancing at her cousin, she frowned. "I have to find him." She sighed shamefully. She hated asking this. "Can you cover for me? Tell them I'm sick or something?"

Liena nodded immediately.

"I'll be back once I find him...and take his little butt to school."

Liena nodded again and got out, slamming the door behind her. Lyra waited until she was inside before starting the engine. She backed up, but the phone rang again, and her foot pressed instinctively on the brake. Oh, what now? She glanced at the screen and froze.

MOM.

If there was one person in the world she didn't want to talk to right now, it was her mother. She always felt that way, but she had extra reason today. Last night, Mom went to get McDonald's, since there was literally no food in the house, and didn't come back.

Eventually, when it became apparent that she wasn't coming home, Lyra went to the store across the street and spent money she didn't have on snacks she couldn't afford just so that Lemy would have something to eat. She called and texted her mother for hours and got no response. Now here she was, probably needing something.

Lyra had half a mind to ignore it...but that's something _she_ would do. Picking the phone up, she stabbed the button and held to her ear. She wanted to yell at her, cuss her, rage at her, but instead, she took a deep breath and forced herself to smile. "Hello?"

"Hey," Mom slurred, "I need you to come get me. I'm...uh...I'm at Todd's house." Her voice was low, thick, like molasses...molasses that spent the previous night getting hammered.

Todd was Mom's 'boyfriend,' a sleazy piece of garbage with tattoos, gauges in his ears, and a rap sheet longer than a baby's arm. He lived in a rundown house on the outskirts of town and worked at an auto shop in Elk Park. He 'took a look' at the SUV a few months ago and pronounced it healthy; the very next day the power steering went out. If that was any indication of his mechanical ability, how he kept that job was beyond Lyra.

 _Oh? Is that where you spent the night, you slut?_

Lyra blinked at the sudden savagery of that thought, and felt ashamed. "When? Lemy's not at school and I have to look for him."

"Now," Mom said.

Lyra sighed. When it rains, it pours, doesn't it?

"Alright," Lyra said reluctantly, "I'll be there in...ten minutes."

"Righteous."

Click.

Lyra took the phone from her ear and stared at it. Not even an explanation for why she didn't come home last night...not that she expected one.

Dropping the phone into the console, she backed out of the spot and turned left onto Schoolhouse Road. The rain began to slacken as she made her way across town, and by the time she pulled into Todd's driveway, it had stopped. The house was a one story with grimy clapboard siding; shingles peeled back from the roof like flecks of dead skin and the front porch was bowed in the middle. The overgrown lawn was strewn with rusted auto parts, putting Lyra in mind of elephant graveyards she'd seen on The Discovery Channel. His car, a battered orange 1968 Ford Falcon sat by the porch steps, faded stickers covering the rust spackled bumper: A black circle with a cross through it, WPWW, an SS stylized to look like lightning bolts...

Lyra disliked Todd. Very much.

Putting the SUV in park, she honked the horn and glanced at the dashboard clock. Come on, come on, I gotta find Lemy, I don't have time for this.

Momentarily, the screen door banged open on one hinge and Mom stumbled out, clad in jeans and a purple tank top. Her steps were lutching, unsteady, as though she were still drunk from the night before. She held the handrail as she came down the steps, and nearly stumbled. Lyra rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, fighting and barely winning against a rush of bitter hatred.

The door opened again and Todd shuffled out. A muscular man with a shaved head and hard blue eyes, he was dressed only in a pair of basketball shorts. His rough skin was splattered with tattoos. 1488 on the side of his neck, a skull on his upper right arm, a giant swastika on his left pec. He lifted a cigarette to his thin lips and turned his head toward Lyra; Lyra's heart clutched and she looked away. Okay, she didn't just dislike him...she was afraid of him, especially of the way he looked at her sometimes...leering, hungry, hateful.

Mom reached the SUV, opened the door, and struggled in, the smell of booze so heavy it made Lyra recoil. "Hey," Mom said and laughed. She waved at Todd and he lifted a hand back. Lyra's eyes were inexorably drawn to the track marks up and down her mother's skeletal arms, and to the sores dotting her cheeks. Her flesh, a sallow shade of unhealthy, was stretched tight across her bones, and her short brown hair was dirty and matted. Her eyes protruding from their sockets, and if you looked hard enough at her open mouth, you could spot holes toward the back where teeth used to be.

Lyra threw the SUV into reverse and backed into the street. Mom snuggled back against the seat and flopped her head to the side; her eyes were bleary and red rimmed, and her lips were so dry they were beginning to split.

"Did you get my texts?" Lyra asked tightly.

Mom shook her head. "Nah, I was busy."

"We were wondering where you were." Lyra's voice sounded hurt even to her own ears, and she swallowed thickly.

"I ran into Todd at the gas station and things kinda...got away from me." She threw her arms up to punctuate her point.

Lyra nodded. Yeah. They sure did.

She spun the wheel to the right, and Mom's brow crinkled. "Where are we going?" she asked suspiciously.

"Lemy's skipping school," Lyra said, knowing she told Mom, and knowing that Mom didn't register it, "I have to find him."

Mom sighed and threw her head back. "He's really doing this shit again? I told him he was gonna get me in trouble. The school comes at Ifor this shit." Her face was suddenly dark and her eyes flashing like ice crystals. She blew a hissing breath through clenched teeth and shook her head. "I'm gonna whip his ass."

Lyra's hands tightened on the wheel. _No you're not._

She wanted to be good.

She wanted to do right and be completely unlike her mother, but if that bitch put her hands on Lemy ever again, she was going to hurt her...bad.

Trembling now, Mom whipped a pack of Victory cigarettes from her pocket and pulled one out, pinching the spot where the filter met the body because otherwise it would fall apart. She lit it and drew the smoke deeply into her lungs, then blew it out in a thick, bluish plume.

"Little bastard," she sneered distastefully, "he's just like his father."

* * *

The day dragged on and before long, another school day has ended. Leia walks alongside Gwen down the sidewalk. Leia walked with her head down, giving out a miserable spirit so thick, Gwen couldn't even ignore. Leia walked beside her friend in silence, clutching a bag of gummy worms in her hands and basically counting the cracks in the sidewalks. The rain above them taming to a light drizzle. Gwen grew silent as well since they left the school. She made mentions about the upcoming history test, about Lemy being cute and also about the kids they scammed a few days back. No response of any kind. From school to the store, Gwen was basically talking to herself.

Leia was still trapped in thought about where Lemy was and how things have been for him living the way he has to. Living in squalor and with a junkie mother who's almost never home. Leia knows Lyra tries her best, but it still breaks her heart to see them struggle. Someone like Lemy, acting like a badass for attention, it hurts her soul deeply. Lemy was a nice guy-didn't have to act that way. But given where he was raised and how her father was so anti-Lemy, it made sense to a degree. Nevertheless, she wished he was in the car today.

She also thinks about the rest of the family. The feeling of something being off never left her. Her aunties loved her, sure, but they tend to pour their love a tad much. She mainly got it for her Aunt Lola. She wasn't too sure why. Aunt Lola worked as a waitress or something, yet she uses her money to buy her things. She bought her a dental plan, clothes, trips to places her parents couldn't afford, even got her into the academy. It was like her aunt was more of a mother than her mother was. However, things have been strange between them, considering the fact Aunt Lola has gotten pregnant. She remembered it being a big deal when she visited the house. Leia was upstairs with Lizy and all she could hear was her mother and father yelling and her aunt screaming "It wasn't him!" or "It's not his, I swear!" Leia didn't understand it, but she remember checking on her aunt that night. Before she drove away, they spoke in the driveway and aunt Lola was just saying over and over that the baby won't ruin what they have and to not feel worried.

Why would she worry? Why even mention it? What is going on?

"Leia!" a voice shouted.

Leia felt the sensation of being pulled back. A light splash as she hits the ground and the sound of honk screeching by. After Leia collected herself, she realized she was on the wet sidewalk and a scared Gwen stood over her. Leia looked to see a car driving away. She was so in her zone, she almost wandered onto the road. Gwen must have pulled her back from getting hit.

Gwen kneeled beside her friend with a worried face.

"Leia!" Gwen said. "A-Are you okay?! What's wrong?!"

Leia was slow to respond as she got back on her feet, the shock of almost dying was nonexistent.

"I'm fine…" Leia responded, trying to fake a smile.

Gwen shook her head. "No" Gwen said. "What's wrong for real? You almost got hit a-and you're not even fazed!"

Leia just scoffed lightly.

"I'm okay...I promise. Just...a lot on my mind" Leia said. "I just need a nap. I'll be fine…"

"Are...you sure…?" Gwen asked with a concerned face, not sure to believe her.

"Positive" Leia responds.

Gwen sighs and quickly hugs her friend. Leia had a lot of negative thoughts on her mind, so having a friend like Gwen made her happy. She hugs her friend back tightly. Gwen breaks the hug and sighs to herself, not sure where else to go with this conversation.

"I'm going to go ahead and head home, okay?" Gwen said. "Text me if you need anything!"

Leia nods.

Gwen walks across the street and starts for home while Leia walks to her right down the sidewalk to her home.

A ten minute walk in the rain and she's home. She walks into the door to see her father sitting on the couch, television on, but this time, he was different. When Leia shut the door, he shot up from the couch. Leia paused. The motion was something she was not used to. Her father slowly turned around and sighs. He starts to walks toward her, scratching his nose with his head lowered. Something about his pasture seemed to be riddled with guilt. He looks at her for a moment and sighs again.

"H-Hey, honey…" he said. It was dry, but had hints of effort. Like he meant to say it.

Leia was lost in the moment and didn't know how to take it. However, despite her dislike for the man, she had to give _some_ type of response.

"Uh, h-hi...daddy…" Leia said uncomfortably.

Her father just rubs the back of his neck and exhales. He was...trying. Why? Why was he acting like this.

"Uh, how was school?" he asked.

"I-It was fine…" Leia answered.

"That's good. That's...g-great…" he answered back.

Silence. The scene has gotten entirely awkward.

"Well…" he said as he walked closer. "I'm...glad you're home and ya day was good…"

"Uh, thanks…" Leia said blandly.

The two stood there for a while and he opened up his arms. Leia was lost by this. Is he...really asking for a hug? He _never_ hugs them. He doesn't even want to them to touch him. It was just so out of character, Leia didn't know how to react. As Leia slowly opens her arms, her father lowers them. He noticed she's opening her arms and tries to open again, but Leia lowers them. They both stared at one another. Her father lifted his hand, and Leia flinched. Her father froze. Leia studied his face to see legitimate sadness. Leia for some reason...felt bad. He lightly pats her head and slowly walks back to the couch. He sits and resumes watching television.

Leia tried to ignore that moment and walks up the stairs. She turns to the right of the hall toward her room to see it was ajar. Most likely Lizy not closing it all the way.

Leia opens the door to see an odd sight. Her mother was there and she was...giving Lizy a hug? Leia cleared her throat loudly, causing her mother and Lizy to turn to her. Her mother walked to her and hugged her. Now, her mother hugged her unlike her father, but it was still fairly rare. Leia just stood there and take it, unsure if she should engage in anymore touching.

"Hello, sweetie!" her mother said happily.

"Uh, hey, mom…" Leia answered. "What's this?"

"What's what?" asked her mother.

Leia looks to Lizy, who was happily standing there with a wide grin. Her mother took notice.

"Oh!" said her mother as she stood up. "Well, I told Lizy we were going to throw a party for her birthday!"

Birthday party? A party at all? Leia was dazed. Lizy jumped up and down.

"It's true, Lei-Lei! Mommy said I get to have a party!" Lizy said happily as she bounced up and down happily. "Everyone gets to come!"

"E-Everyone..?" Leia asked.

"Yes!" her mother said. "Your father thought it would be nice to have a little party for Lizy and-"

"H-Hold on…" Leia said. "Dad...our dad...is allowing this?"

"Uh, yes...it was his idea, honey" her mother said.

Leia froze. Was that the reason he was trying to be interested in her day? Was he really trying to know her? Did he did this because he actually felt bad about what he did? Leia couldn't wrap her head around the idea of her parents being so okay with throwing a party. They usually never go the extra mile like this for any of them before, so why now? She just found the whole situation moving too fast. As she thinks her phone chirps. She pulls her phone from the waist of her skirt and unlocked her phone. It was a text...from Lemy. Leia quickly unlocked her phone.

LEM: Scrap yard. Need to talk. Get here ASAP.

Leia had to bolt.

"Hey, mom" Leia started as she banded her phone again. "I gotta go do something."

"Oh…" her mother said, kinda sadly. "I was...kinda hoping you and I could talk a bit…"

Leia walks over to her sister and hands her the bag of gummies. Lizy bounced up and down with glee as Leia walked out the door, ignoring her mother's remark. She flew down the stairs and out the door and back into the rainy outside.

A wet jog through town, from the fine side of suburbia to the low income southside to Lemy's usual hangout. The junkyard feels fitting to him. She would go there to bum around from him from time to time. Not that she liked being in a palace of tetanus and jagged metal. She sure didn't wanna go to his house. She just enjoyed being with her cousin and helping him. He may not be a highly respected student in school, but he seemed to have a lot of street smarts. In his area of town, one would need it.

After a fairly long walk, she reached the rusted gates of the junkyard. Drew's Scrap was the sign that stood above, with the S letter hanging by a loose screw, making it read Drew's Crap. Leia didn't know why, but she found that pretty funny. Drew was a man in his late 30s, says he's been to school with their Aunts Lori, Leni and Lemy's mother, Luna. He was a grimey man with long, unkempt hair that poured into a bread-fiery red hair. Thick, bushy eyebrows. His teeth stained yellow from years of a broth of spiced rum and knockoff Cuban cigars. A tattered leather biker jacket, grease battered jeans and dusty boots being his only clothes, so it seemed. He usually was kinda carefree and brutish. Drinks during the days, curse every other word, eats canned food from what looked like the 80s, picked his teeth with a switchblade-he was a character. Something like a mentor to Lemy; something like that wild, drunken uncle. Leia didn't get it, but Lemy looks up to him and it seems Ol' Dirty Drew likes him too.

Leia walked into the the scrap yard, a land of rotting trash and mangled cars. Leia looks around and there was the man himself. In a dusty recliner outside a old RV was Drew, sitting in the rain with a cigar resting on his lips. Nearby him on a general plastic table and a umbrella taped to a table was an old stereo and the sounds of wild guitar riffs ripping through the speakers. Loud punk. Lemy and Drew love it. Leia hates it.

Leia walks up to Drew and sighs.

 _So, you've been to school_

 _For a year or two_

 _And you know you've seen it all_

"Hello, Drew…" said Leia.

Drew only grunts.

 _In daddy's car_

 _Thinking you'll go far_

 _Back east your type don't crawl_

"Uh…" Leia said.

"Lookin' for Lem?" Drew gruffed.

Leia nods.

 _Playing ethnicky jazz_

 _To parade your snazz_

 _On your five-grand stereo_

 _Braggin' that you know_

 _How the niggers feel cold_

 _And the slum's got so much soul_

"He's out back. In that ther' bus out ther'" Drew said.

Leia nods.

 _It's time to taste what you most fear_

 _Right Guard will not help you here_

 _Brace yourself, my dear_

 _Brace yourself, my dear_

Leia makes her way to the back of the scrap yard to that old run down bus Lemy hangs in. However, as she left, she feels Drew turned up the stereo as she walked away. Leia couldn't stand that kinda music and walked away.

 _It's a holiday in Cambodia_

 _It's tough, kid, but it's life_

 _It's a holiday in Cambodia_

 _Don't forget to pack a wife_

Leia walked until she finally reached the bus. Like always, there was Lemy, sitting under a tree between a pile of rusted metal and a gutted yellow school bus nearby. Leia walked up to him and looked at him, the sound of rain beaming on metal and the air breaks of the bus by the nearby station hissing loudly. She flashed a light smile. He flashed one back.

"Hey…" he says in a low tone.

"Heya" Leia said calmly.

Right behind the junkyard, there were to places. A small convenience store and the bus station. Hoping off the bus, three young girls dipped on the sidewalk. Rain falling from above. The three girls walked away from the station. In the dim light of the streetlight beaming on the sidewalk, due to no sun, showcased Lupa, Liby and Lacy on the sidewalk.

"So...this is Royal Woods…" Lacy said with excitement.

"Wish we could have gotten here sooner…" Liby said softly. "We lost so much of the day…"

"Shoulda thought about that when you two were too scared to come with me to get the the extra money" Lupa said. "...and make us lose it to a crackhead."

Liby looks down.

"I-I thought he was just hungry…" Liby said.

"So, you feed him the $200 bucks I had to painfully racked together from the the car systems I pawned?" Lupa said.

Liby bowed her head. Lacy rose up.

"Look, it's not a big deal-" Lacy started.

"We have ten bucks left" Lupa said bluntly.

" _That_ we'll use to buy snacks!" Lacy said with a smile.

Lupa sighs and rubs her forehead.

"I-I'll buy some cheesecake bites if you like, Lupa…" Liby said.

Lupa looks to Liby and looks around. No adults. She turns her head far off. There was a junkyard she can hide in. She pulls out her box of cigarettes and takes one out.

"Make sure it's strawberry flavored kind" Lupa said as she walks away to the back junkyard fence. "I'll be in that junkyard so I don't get spotted. Dunno how these Royal Wood scrubs are."

"U-Uh…" Liby started as Lupa walked away.

Lacy smiled at Liby and posed against the door of the store and smiled.

"Don't worry-I'll pose up and guard the door so you are safe" Lacy "No one will mess with you with me here."

Liby smiles, happy her sister was looking out for her. She nods and walks into the store. The convenient store was fairly common. Tiled floor, snack rows, hot dog steam table-the basics. Lacy had one goal: get snacks for her sisters and leave. However. This seemed hard. Liby, at the entrance way, froze. She was very shy and uncomfortable in places she didn't have her sisters in. Even with her sisters nearby, the fear of them not being with her made her feel like bursting into tears. She looks down to the ground and started sniffling. She hates crying.

"Hello, sweetie!" said a voice.

Liby lightly gasp. She looks up and looks up. In front of her was a lady. A lady, mid 30s at the most, with s short brown bob cut and a yellow t-shirt, tight fitting blue jeans and white slip on sneakers. She donned an apron over her clothing, clearing showing she's an employee there. Liby shook at the sight of the woman. A mix a her being a stranger and how calm she was scared her. The clerk looked at the trembling girl before her and rested her hand on Liby's shoulder. For some reason, Liby stopped shaking.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" asked the clerk.

Liby looked at the clerk with wet eyes.

"I-I'm new to the city and I'm just nervous…" Liby said.

The clerk looks around the store to see no other customers were around. She kneels down to get level with Liby.

"How about I help you shop? It's okay to be nervous in a new place" the clerk said. "Will that makes you feel better?"

Liby stared into the eyes of the clerk. They were soft eyes-happy eyes. Safe eyes. Liby slowly nodded with a soft smile.

"Okay…" Liby said kindly. "Thank you, ma'am."

The clerk giggles.

"Just call me Luan" she said as she pointed to her faded name tag.

"Okay, Ms. Luan" Liby said with a smile.


	4. Trouble Comes to Town

_I hate people_

 _They mean nothing to me_

 _I hate people_

 _I hate society_

 _I hate people_

 _The things they do and say_

 _I hate people_

 _I wanna dig their grave_

 _I hate people_

 _They're always in my way_

 _I hate people_

 _I hate the world today_

 _I hate people-_

The boy aimlessly grips his phone and thumbs the snooze button. As the living room fell silent, the boy arose from his sleeping space, the living room pull out lad rubbed his wild hair and sighs. It was nearly 5 AM. He sent his clock thirty minutes earlier than her sister Lyra. He had to get to his spot on the corner. He often was annoyed about waking up and doing this stupid gig, but he felt being only ten years old and being too young for the general workforce put him at a disadvantage. Tossing the thought aside, he rubs his eyes and surveyed his surroundings.

He groans at the sight.

He looks at the "cover" on the couch, which was nothing more but a mildy musty pile of dirty clothes masked with the smell of cheap perfume. He looks around the living room with disgust. The floor was spotted with dirt, sauces, grim and what looked like black mold. Towering among the mold were varies garbage from take out their mother would bring home from them to eat when she was sober enough to remember she had kids. Burpin' Burger wrappers soaking in grease puddles from the BucketHead Wings contairs while a half eaten burrito from Astroworld Taco decaying in the corner of the room. That with so many empty Shroomland Pizza pizza boxes, one could make three forts out of them. The boy could hear the loud clanking of the empty beer cans that was being hit by the tails of rats and the scraping of fleeing water bugs behind fridge of the kitchen. Also on the floor is years of ash from cigarettes and many empty cartons from packs of old. The room reeked of stale Afghani hash and meldrew soaked clothes from clothes piles that were set up to soak up the leaking ceiling.

The boy's "bed" was nothing worthy either. It was a pull out mattress that was nested in the couch, but it was janky and failing. The mattress is splashed with various spills of brown liquor, grese, blood and...fluids from his mother. The thought alone made him grimace.

He rolled out of bad to the gross carpet of his living room and sighs. Instead of night clothes, he slept in the clothes he was going to wear this morning. Green military style coat and black watch cap. Black band tee with a large DK in the middle of it. Dusty fitted jeans. He slips on his sneakers and puts on his dog tags that rested neatly on the filthy ground. He slipped his sneakers on and sighed.

"Okay, Lemy Loud…" he said quietly to himself. "Showtime. Two hours and then get on with your day."

It was another off day from school for Lemy. He hasn't attended the last few days, mainly due to boredom and the fact he felt like he had to make money for the house. He tiptoed along the floor into the hall and down to the door at the very end-Lyra's room. The apartment was a one bedroom because his mother had Lyra at nineteen and didn't plan to stay in town long so she could go raise her somewhere nicer. Lemy sighs. That never happened. They lived in the ghetto side of town with gunshots at all hours of the day. That's all he and Lyra even knew. Thinking about his mother being caring or loving bugged him.

He shook his head, needing to focus.

He slightly opened the door into the room to check on his sister. She was still resting. He gives a faint smile, happy to see that the only older woman in his life is resting well. He shuts the door softly and then looks to the ground, shaking his head. Only if she knew what her brother do. He slowly walked into the gross kitchen, walled by trash, clutter, and dirty dishes. He stops at the hollowed spacing in the wall that was meant for the washer and dryer-both broken. He looks around once more. No sister and chances of the vile mother who birthed him showing up aren't likely. He scoots the washing machine to the side and pulls out an empty box of washing powder. He opens it and pulls out two bags.

One was full of baggies of crack-whole krills. The other, crystal meth. Time to hit the spot.

Lemy walks out the front door, locking it with a spare key and down the stairs to the sidewalk. He knew Leia would be upset if he wasn't going to be riding to school with her again, but he had to help out around the house some way, not like his mother would help.

Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, fingers brushing the switchblade he carried for self-defense, he hunched his shoulders and bowed his head, pointing his eyes at the dirty hall floor. Cigarette butts, used needles, condom wrappers, and crumpled beer cans littered the way. Music and the cramped smells of cooking drifted from apartment doors; somewhere a baby cried, and somewhere else a woman screamed obsenities. A door opened on his left, but he didn't turn, didn't acknowledge it; he learned long ago to mind his own fucking business.

At the head of the stairs, he paused, took a crumpled pack of Maverick menthols from an inside pocket of his jacket, and plopped the filter into his mouth, sparking it with a cheap plastic see through lighter - one of the ones that always seemed to stop working even though it was still half filled with fluid. He drew the smoke harshly into his lungs and let it out in a weary sigh. Pinching the filter between his thumb and forefinger, he tumbled down the stairs, lifting his eyes only to see if the giant FUCK YOU he sprayed on the wall was still there (it was). At the bottom, he crossed to the door and paused to look out: The sky was a leaden shade of gray that threatened rain, and the barren branches of the dead trees dotting the cracked sidewalk knocked forlornly together in the breeze. He was suddenly very aware of the holes in the bottom of his shoes and of the holes in his socks.

Whatever. Sometimes you gotta roll over and bite the pillow. He pushed through the door, went down the concrete steps, and turned left onto the sidewalk, his head bowing once more. He was not aware of Gwen Myers slipped through the door behind him and craning her neck to watch him go, didn't see her whip her phone out with a little smile and snap a picture...and if he did notice, he probably wouldn't have given a shit anyway.

Hunger pangs so intense that he nearly doubled over rippled through his stomach and he swallowed a rush of saliva. If he made a couple sales he'd pop into McDonald's and get an Egg McMuffin or something; his mouth started to water at the prospect of hot food. If he didn't, he'd have to sneak into school at lunch and risk landing in detention.

Or he could go to the gas station; his aunt Luan always looked the other way when he stole. He knew all too well that she did it out of pity, and it made him so fucking ashamed he could never look her in the eye, but given the choice between shame and hunger, he'd choose shame every time.

At an intersection, he hung a left and followed the sidewalk past a rush of boarded up storefronts, graffiti splayed across weathered gray plywood. A few windows were exposed, what glass remained broken and riddled with bullet holes. A few brass casings were strewn across the sidewalk and gutter. He kicked one along the pavement, watching it skip and spin with apathetic disinterest. Sometimes, he honestly wished he'd get caught in the middle of a drive-by just to get away from this bullshit life; he was sick of it all, but especially of crying himself to sleep and feeling like a bitch. He couldn't help it, though, the tears just came and all he could do was lie there and take it, just like he did when his mother hit him.

He tried not to think like that, though, because while he didn't have much in this life, he did have Lyra - his older sister and more of a mother than that shaved-head Shrillex looking bitch who birthed him. She could be annoying as fuck sometimes (be home before dark, Lemy; you smell like cigarettes, Lemy, are you smoking?) but you know what? Deep down, he kind of liked it, it made him feel…

It made him feel like she cared.

Last night when their thot mother went MIA (Lemy kind of hoped she got hit by a car), Lyra used money she couldn't spare to buy what she could from the convenience store across the street: Chips, cookies, a couple stale Toquitos that had been sitting on a warming tray for hours, and she didn't even eat much. _I'm not hungry,_ she said. They were sitting on the couch in front of the TV, her legs drawn up and her arms crossed. _You sure?_ He asked. _Yep,_ she said and flashed a wan smile. He didn't believe her, and every bite he took made him feel guiltier and guiltier until he finally forced himself to stop so she could have some. It sat between them for nearly half an hour, Lemy stealing longing glances at it and fighting back the urge to finish it off. He wanted Lyra to eat, but he was so fucking hungry he couldn't think straight, and when she got up to use the bathroom, he broke and scarfed it down before she came back, feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world. She didn't say anything and neither did he, but he knew she noticed.

Lyra was half the reason (hell, maybe more) that he dealt; it wasn't fair that she had to do it alone. They needed money bad and she was doing everything she could, meanwhile he wasted his days in school learning about dead white dudes and igneous fucking rocks, then spent his evenings being useless because no one hires ten year old kids except for Flip, and Flip died two years ago. Dealing was all he had - that and stealing radios out of people's cars. Lyra would shit herself if she knew what he was doing, but he couldn't let her do it alone; tonight he was buying dinner, and she was going to eat so fucking much her stomach would explode.

Five minutes after setting out, he reached the corner of Hope Street and Camden Avenue. A crumbling tenement building long abandoned loomed over it like a leering pedophile, its windows dark and the lot flanking the walkway overgrown with weeds. Rain began to fall from the sky, and Lemy exhaled through his nose, his eyes hard and his nostrils flaring, the drops coming harder and pelting his head and shoulders. His socks and shoes were going to be soaked in minutes and in twenty minutes everything else as well; for the briefest of moments he considered going to school, where it was dry, but making money was more important. He might only be ten, but he was a man, and a man does whatever it takes to support his family. At least that's what he always thought a man did...he couldn't say for sure. The only man he knew was his uncle Lynn, and while he was a fucking asshole, at least he worked and provided unlike his own father.

Lemy sneered at the thought of his old man, out there somewhere right this minute, probably living it up on a fucking yacht, wearing sunglasses and spraying champagin around like a wack ass Vanilla Ice wannabe while he and Lyra struggled just to eat. Fuck him. Lemy hoped he died.

And his mother too.

The rain was drenching now, hissing in the street and rushing through the gutters in a stream, carrying dead leaves and bits of litter along like floatsom from a flooded world. A car turned onto Camden from Hope, its wiper blades swiping across the windshield and its headlights on. Lemy perked up and did his best to make eye contact with the driver: You did that when you had something or wanted something...or wanted to fight.

The car slowed to a creep then stopped; the passenger window slid down and smoke rolled out, putting Lemy crazily in mind of spirits escaping the pits of hell. Ducking his head against the rain, he hurried over and stuck his head in; a white guy with rotted teeth and murky blue eyes stared back at him. Lemy had been selling on and off for almost a year, and by now he could win every round of spot-the-junkie he played, he could also tell you their drug of choice and roughly how long they'd been using. This guy was a meth head and had been for about two years.

"What're you looking for?" Lemy asked and threw a nervous glance over his shoulder. The day was empty save for the rain.

"Chalk."

That was one of meth's many street names. Others were speed, crank, tweek, Christina, and his personal favorite, go fast. "How much?"

The man was picking at one of the many scabs on his face. "Quarter."

A quarter ounce of skeech went for about thirty bucks in Royal Woods - if it was pure. Lemy's wasn't, but he fronted like it was. "Thirty," he said and looked around again.

"Thirty?" the tweaker asked incredulously, his brows shooting up.

Lemy nodded. "Yeah, thirty. It's good shit. Keep you spun all day."

For a moment the spaz didn't say anything, and Lemy started to worry he'd lost the sale; finally he reached into his back pocket an brought out his wallet. Lemy dug in the bag and brought out one of the little baggies - you know the type, so tiny it can't fit anything but drugs. Every once in awhile his natural child-like curiosity overcame his beaten-down apathy and he stopped to wonder why they even made them this little if they weren't targeting them specifically to dealers. What, you gonna pack your lunch in it?

The junkie held out a twenty and a ten, and Lemy's mouth began to water as he took it and slipped the baggie into his hand. He shoved the bills into his pocket and stepped back with a muttered, "Have a good day." The junkie rolled the window up and took off at a crawl, no doubt packing his pipe for a quick morning fix. Lemy stepped back onto the sidewalk and leaned against a stop sign. The rain was coming hard, and his sodden socks squenched in his sopping shoes. A hunger pang went through his center and he winced. He had cash now and he really wanted something to eat, but he had to make at least one more sale.

That didn't happen: He spent the next twenty minutes waiting in the deluge for another customer, staring down every car that passed and finally getting desperate enough to approach them when they stopped at the intersection. At one, the driver side window rolled down and a black guy stuck his head out.

"Hey," Lemy said tentatively, "you need anything?"

Dude's brow crinkled. "Get out of here with that," he said and shook his head. "Take your ass to school and you won't have to be out here like this."

Lemy flashed a patronizing smile and backed away. Yeah, man, going to school's really gonna help me feed my sister; grab a couple textbooks and bring them home. Umm-ummmmmm. Good eatin'.

When it became painfully obvious that he wasn't going to get another sale, he drew a heavy, dejected sigh and started down Camden toward Main, his hands in his pockets and his head hung. Ten minutes later, he walked into the McDonald's on the corner of Main and High Street, which climbed a steep hill before dead ending. A sloppily formed line waited at the counter as a fat Hispanic woman with curly hair dyed red fumbled behind the register, looking stricken and overwhelmed.

Wincing inwardly at the way his shoes squeaked on the dirty tile floor, he fell in behind a geeky ass Asian dude who wore a phone case on his belt. As he waited, Lemy eyed the phone and wondered if he could yank it out and get away; he could hawk it for an easy thirty bucks if not more, depending on what kind of shape it was in.

After a few tortuous minutes breathing in the good, warm smells of food, Lemy's turn came and he ordered an Egg McMuffin meal with a Coke - he could have gotten more, but he wanted to keep it cheap so there he'd have the maximum amount left over to give Lyra. Or use for household stuff. He wasn't sure what exactly he was going to do yet; every time he handed Lyra money she gave him the third degree. Where'd you get this, Lemy? You're not picking pockets again, are you?

When his food was ready, he took his tray and sat in a booth by one of the windows and ate while gazing through the rain sluiced glass.

Lemy looked at the people that walked by in view of the window, bits of McMuffin party chewed and tucked in the side of his mouth as he chew lazily. Bored with a faint sense that today wasn't gonna be fruitful on his busiest dope spot, Lemy had to kill the time somehow. Lemy picks apart everybody he saw. Basehead head on the corner: a scourge on the city, or a new customer? Old lady from the northside of town: old as sin, but most likely still bitchy as she was in her 20s. Old school cop in a cop car: Fuck one-time. Black kid with baggy pants: He's got to be around Lemy's age. He didn't care-he knew he had krills and that he was on his turf. Two girls in school uniforms.

Lemy's mind froze.

He swallowed his breakfast muffin, watching the girls walk their way to school in silence. As soon as they were out of sight, he looked down at the table in his both. The boy sighed.

Leia.

He settled in his seat as he thought about his cousin. He loved all his cousins, but him and Leia seem to click despite the fact they were complete opposites. She was smart, surrounding by loving siblings in a somewhat stable home. Lemy was that typical smartass at school-a Donnie Darko without the crazy. Only older person who gave a damn about him was his sister and the place he called home was nothing but a maze of filth. He was a scumfuck, his mother was a junkie or rummy or alchy or whore-whatever people want to call her, she was something and nothing at the same time. Lyra is the only one in the house that has any sense and Lemy knew he was only holding her back.

He hated that he have bailed on school so many times as of late, but he couldn't deal with school-he hated it. Hated the half-assed teaching of the so-called teachers. The stuck up bops that write crude things about him in the girl bathroom to the throwaway hoodlums brought up on otherside of the slums who thought they were better than him. All those things on top of his tragic grades. He wasn't a moron-just didn't do the work. So, if anything, he was just lazy.

That didn't change the people he felt he was letting down. Leia must be wondering where we was and Lyra will get a call from his school sooner or later. He knew if she found out, she'll be more than disappointed. He never told her the truth, the other reason he hasn't been in school is because of a fight.

He jumped a kid in the bathroom. Rival drug dealer. He had a grill in his mouth-custom rose gold trim with diamond encrust. 14 K plated. Lemy smashed the dude's face into the air hand dryer and yanked him out his mouth while he was blacked out. Because he cleaned the place up, Lemy lied and said he punched him after getting caught. Managed to keep the grill. Point is, he was suppose to just be suspended for three days, but that sentence has passed. He just hasn't went back.

Lemy just sighed, taking a long sip of his Coke with a face of disgust. He was disgusted with his actions and his lying and the fact his soda tasted god awful. Regardless, he had to shake the feeling. After time passed, he simply left his trash on the table and walked out. He was done trying to sling, so he had to do something else to kill time. So, he just walked aimlessly.

Then the thought of Leia returned. Not about here but more about the family as a whole.

Something about his family is weird.

It wasn't so much something tangible as it was a deep gut feeling that something wasn't right, a feeling that Leia shared. He couldn't remember when he first looked around at his family and sensed something off, but it was so long ago that he didn't think he could remember a time before it. He and Leia talked about it a lot but neither could reach a conclusion the other one was satisfied with. Leia thought that maybe some of their aunts were adopted or maybe even not family at all; he figured that Uncle Lynn was the one who wasn't related to anyone - they were all step kids or something, which would explain why he treated them like dirt. He didn't fucking know. He just knew that all wasn't right in the candy fucking kingdom and the more he thought about it, the more it bothered him, like being stuck in one of those dumb Chinese finger traps.

A cold gust of wind raked across his face and he suppressed a shiver. He was currently walking along the sidewalk flanking Main Street. Dead leaves were plastered to the cracked concrete and the thin decorative trees spaced just so shuddered in the damp breeze. A truck blasted by in the road and its big tires kicked up a wave of water that splashed his pants to the knee. He came to a shuffling stop and tensed, his hands balling into fists. Part of him wanted to be angry, because in this life you don't let transgressions go like a passive bitch, but another part...another part said _par for the course, buddy._ That's an expression Mom's Nazi dickhead boyfriend used a lot when he saw black people doing something wrong on the news. _The suspect is described as an African-American male._ Snort, _Par for the course._ Lemy didn't even fully know what it meant, but it was fitting. _That's the way it goes._ He didn't know how well it applied to black people commiting crimes - he knew a lot of white pieces of shit himself, plus a few Asian ones - but it certainly applied to his bullshit life. Some days it felt like the entire fucking universe was against him, and anything that could possibly by some freak accident _Final Destination_ shit go wrong _would_ go wrong. He never articulated that because it sounded like petty ass whining, but it was true. If he left on time for the bus, it would be early and he'd miss it; if he had to walk _one fucking day out of the month_ , it'd be the one day it rained like hell; if he thought he had twenty dollars extra, he wound up having to spend it on bullshit. Day in, day out, forever and ever, a-fucking-men.

With a resigned sigh, he started walking again. He needed to sell some more of this shit but today was not going to be his day, which left him a shit load of time to kill before he could drag himself back home - even though he'd rather not. That apartment was too crowded, too stuffy, too depressing. If he didn't, though, Lyra would freak. She _hated_ when he went out, and sometimes if he just wanted to go for a walk she _invited herself_. Deep down, in a way, it felt nice to have someone actually give a shit about him, but it was also annoying as dick.

Partly because _he_ didn't care about himself. He could live or die, same difference. At least dead he'd be free and not have to worry about Mom wailing on him or ODing on the bathroom floor (again). Kind of funny if you think about it: Coffins are so tight and enclosed, but within them lies the vastest and more ultimate freedom one can ever have. No problems, no worries, no hurt, no pain, nothing but the sweet, black release of death.

Heh. If he wasn't too chickenshit he'd be in one right this minute, but he was - and maybe he also didn't like the thought of what that would do to Lyra.

He paused at an intersection and waited for a line of traffic to pass before crossing. Ahead to his right was a rush of storefronts. The butcher, the bank, a women's clothing store, and _Trinkets and Treasures_ , one of the only places in town that he actually liked. It was an antique store that specializes in...what do you call it...random ass odds and ends. Records, VHS tapes, toys from the seventies and eighties, paperback books that sat in someone's attic for thirty years, military surplus, and porn - there was a whole folding table stacked with old porn magazines. _Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse,_ a thousand little t&a mags dating back to the late sixties...and the guy who ran the place didn't give a shit if he spent all day looking at them as long as he didn't get in anyone's way. Hell, he didn't even care if he bought some.

Granted, he had the interet, but hey, pussy's pussy, and if it came down to looking at that or sitting on a bench at the parking and looking at the statue of Willis Wilkins, Royal Woods' esteemed founder, what would _you_ choose?

At the door, he wiped his feet on the mat as best he could (kinda hard when your feet are literally fucking swimming) and went inside, the bell over the door ringing his arrival.

The space was dark and dank, like a cave. Overfilled shelves lined one wall and a long counter/display case the other. Tables dominated the center, and heaped on them was every type of vintage-retro detris you could imagine. The owner, a pudgy man in glasses, sat by the register reading a Tom Clancy hardcover; he spared Lemy a half glance then went back to his book. He'd been coming in here fairly often for, like, two years, and he still didn't know this guy's name. He was standoffish and struck Lemy as kind of an asshole.

Lemy crossed to a book rack full of westerns and made a pretense of flipping through them like he did every time he came here. Next he checked out all the model cars and trains and Starship Enterprises like he actually gave a shit. The porn was close, he could see it, he couldn't just dip right in, though. If life had taught him one thing, it was that you gotta play it cool.

He moved onto another shelf crammed with books. He absently scanned the spines...and stopped at one in particular. _Scene of the Crime: Photographs from the LAPD Archives_. Huh. Crime scene photos? Interesting. His morbid curiosity was piqued; he slipped the tome out and opened it, the crisp rustle of old pages as loud as pained screams in the vacuum silence. He flipped to the first photo. It was black and white and depicted a woman in fishnet stockings, probably a prostitute, lying on a bare mattress upon a floor; she was covered in blood, one arm jutting over the edge, her fingers curled like a dead spider.

His lips pulled back from his teeth in a sneer of disgust. He turned to the next page: A guy in a suit - looked like the forties or fifties - was slumped to one side on a couch, a revolver clutched loosely in one hand. There was a tiny hole in the side of his head and a dried trickle of blood across his cheek. Jesus fuck, man, why would someone publish this?

Shaking his head, he went to the next page: A farm road, dirt, wire fencing on either side. A car lay on its roof in the background, and in the foreground - oh, fuck. His stomach turned and his heart started to race.

A severed head.

Just _sitting_ there. Looked like the guy was buried up to his neck and sleeping.

The old man coughed and Lemy jumped.

You ever hear that expression about not being able to look away from a trainwreck? He felt that now; some dark force seemed to guide his hand, made him keep going even though he was starting to feel nauseous and shaky. He wasn't a pussy or anything, but for some reason this shit was affecting him.

A guy lying on his back on a sidewalk, his suit coat fallen away to reveal a dark stain on his shirt - a gun lay nearby.

A naked woman, legs spread and pussy clearly visible, splayed on a metal autopsy table like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Two black men hanging from a tree, their hands bound in front of them; Lemy winced at the unnatural way their necks were stretched.

He was flipping faster now, hot bile rising in his chest like acid; images of death, murder, mutilation, and blood flashed by like a montage from hell. One page was marked with a rectangular newspaper clipping yellowed with age - as if the previous owner found that image particularly titillating. He picked the clipping up and looked at the photo. Black and white, a man lie on the concrete floor of a garage, his head splattered across the surface and a fedora hat sitting nearby. A shotgun lay next to him. This picture, like many others, was captioned, blocky white text across the bottom as if hurriedly scrawled by a harried patrolman in a squad room. _13, male, died of a broken home and a broken heart._

Lemy's breath caught and his grip tightened, dimpling the page. He was transfixed, held as if in a thrall, his eyes flicking back and forth from the body to the words. _A broken home and a broken heart_. He tried to imagine what kind of broken life this kid had - and he saw a tiny, cramped apartment; a woman with short brown hair passed out on the floor, a needle hanging from her arm; an empty cupboard …

And himself.

The book dropped from his hands and clattered to the floor. For a moment he stared at it with wide eyes as though it were a dangerous animal, then backed away, bumping into the table and jumping with a startled cry. Whipping around, he fled, crashing through the door and stumbling, nearly going to his knees. He shook and his eyes brimmed with hot tears.

He had to get the hell out of there, put as much distance between himself and that awful fucking -

 _Premonition_

\- place as possible.

He was a block north when he realized he was still clutching the newspaper clipping. He glanced at it, then away, then suddenly back when a his mind registered a familiar name. Shuffling to a halt, he held it up and stared at it. _Birth Announcements,_ it was headed. The name was halfway down and in bold.

 **LYNN AND RITA LOUD.**

Below.

 _Lynn and Rita Loud of Franklin Avenue welcomed their first child, Lori, on Sunday._

Lemy's brow furrowed in confusion and he reread the sentence again, half expecting the words to change, the names to morph into random ones he didn't know - as they always had been - but they remained the same. _Lynn and Rita Loud_... _first child...Lori…_

Lori...aunt Rita's sister? T-That didn't make any sense. He turned the clipping over in search of a date and found one. March 25, 2001.

Lori, the one _he_ knew, was born on March 22.

He stared down at the paper for a long time, the breeze whipping it crisply back and forth, the strangest mixture of shock and revelation swirling in his chest. They were lying. Lori wasn't her sister, she was their daughter.

But why?

He didn't know, but he did know this: He had to tell Leia.

Lemy wasted no time-he dashed down the sidewalk quickly, clutching the damp paper in his hand as he ducked off. He had to talk about this. Why is his aunt being named a child of his Uncle Lynna and Aunt Lori? That made no sense. Why did they get her birthday wrong? This had to be some kind of bunk mistake. Lemy makes it to the road and throws his hand up in the air as a row of cars sped pass him. He wave his hand erractically until, just his luck, a taxi honks it's honk and parks beside him. Lemy quickly hops in. He takes a deep breath.

"Where to, young blood?" asked the driver.

Lemy looks at the driver. The driver was an older black man. Looked to be in his mid 50s, slim and tall, dreads and goatee combo with a salt and pepper coloring and a novelty Rastafarian cap. A faint X shaped scar on his right cheek and gold teeth. A rather common look for a cabbie in this town. Lemy shook and cough, trying to catch his voice.

"E-Eh, D-Drew's Scrapyard off of-" Lemy started.

"Oh, yeah, yeah!" the driver said with a chuckle. "I know that crazy foo'. I play dominoes wit' him. I'll get ya there."

"T-Thank you, sir..." said Lemy softly.

"Call my X, lil' buddy. Call me X" said the smiling driver.

X the driver pulls away as rain keeps falling outside. Lemy stares outside as he rides on. The news clipping replaying his his head. He always thought his family was weird, sure, but this...this was something he didn't wanna think about. This was wrong-there had to be some kind of error. The fact caused Lemy to look at the clipping again, just to see if he misread it. No dice. the same as before. He groaned and looked down at the floor of the cab. X looked in his rearview and his heart suck, seeing this sad young man in his car made him upset for some reason. He looked to the radio and back at the window and puts on a light smile.

"Ayy, young blood" X started. "Ya like music, right?"

Lemy looked up, kinda confused by the questioning.

"Uhh...y-yeah, I guess..." he said flatly.

"What kinda music ya be listenin' to?" X asked in earnest.

Lemy didn't know this man at all but realized that he was just trying to be nice and figured the least he could do is just answer his questions here and there.

"I listen to metal. Old rock-stuff like that" Lemy answered.

X chuckled.

"I wouldn't know nothin' 'bout all that, now" he said.

Lemy chuckled a bit. X looks to the rearview and smiled.

"What ya know 'bout that soul?" X joked.

"Huh?" Lemy said, honestly confused.

"Soul? R&B-ya know! Soul!" X said.

"O-Oh!" Lemy said before his face soured. "Yeah...I know it.."

Lemy knew quite a few R&B musicians and songs. He knows them from the slang term: baby making music. During his mother's drunken rambles, she'd joke about the notion he and his sister had some black in them. A statement that made him and Lyra shake their heads often. She even told them which songs they were conceived from. Lyra's was Smooth Operator by Sade. Lemy has heard the song before and he can kinda see why this song would be the one for Lyra. He hated he did think of it, but what happened happend. However, for Lemy, his song was odd because she said she..."lasted" from the mid set of Purple Rain by Prince and the start of Turn Off The Lights by Teddy Pendergrass. Since then, the two can only make the connection to R&B music to their mother's sexual adventures. Even to this day, he their mother brings men or women over, when that kinda music was playing from her room in the wee hours of the night, she's busy. But...she wasn't mad if you came in and watched if she was drunk enough.

Lemy shiverd.

X reached over to the radio.

"Mind if I play that ol' school right now?" asked X.

Lemy looked at the nice man. He pushed the thoughts of his mother and the clipping away just for a second.

"Sure-go for it" Lemy said. "It's your cab, sir."

"Told ya to call me X, now" laughed X as he pressed the CD button. "I mean, the word 'sir' makes me feel ol', now."

Lemy leans back and the song started admittedly.

I thought some time alone

Was what we really needed

You said this time would hurt more than it helps

But I couldn't see that

Lemy perks up to the smooth piano in the background and the lush singing.

Of a beautiful story

And so I left the one I loved at home to be alone(alone)

And I tried to find

Out if this one thing is true

That I'm nothing without you

I know better now

And I've had a change of heart

Lemy starts to wave back and forth to the song as X takes a deep breath. In a strange turn, X starts to sing the hook.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else

I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself

I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

Whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

Lemy was actually very impressed with X's singing. So powerful and soulful. Slick like velvet and in a tenor range, really passionate sounding.

"Wow..." Lemy said.

"What's that there?" asked X as he turned down the volume.

"It's your voice...it's...you should be a singer!" Lemy said gleefully.

X laughs. "Nah, nah..." said X modestly.

"No, I'm serious! You totes could do it!" Lemy said.

"Totes?" asked X as he cackled.

Lemy paused.

"I-It's something one of my aunts say a lot-it's stupid" Lemy backpedaled.

X laughs at the boy and sighs.

"Nah...I ain't no singer" X said. "Used to sing for the church house when I was back home, but never really tried to go anywhere wit' it. But...the ladies love it."

"Church? You're religious?" asked Lemy.

"Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I rejoice because of you; but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil..." X says calmly. "Romans 16:19."

"Guess that's a yes..." joked Lemy.

"Grew up in church. I noticed most of y'all young ones don't really go to church these days" X said.

Lemy shook his head.

"My mom never takes about it. I have a genius auntie who says God isn't real. And my Uncle Lynn, that one time he talked to me without being mad, said..."

Lemy paused and X looked to his mirror to check on him.

"...He said he used to believe and then...I was born..." Lemy said quietly.

X shook his head.

"Ya uncle issa bastard-Lord, forgive me.." X said.

"Huh?" Lemy mustered.

"You just a baby. Havin' ya uncle say somethin' like that proves older people have lost their way, too. Ain't nothing wrong witcha, boy-life is a gift."

Lemy paused. He never heard anyone talked like this.

"R-Really?" asked Lemy.

"Shoot!" X said. "When I was a young, livin' back in Mobile, it took me a while to realize I wasn't worth a damn. Took everythang I got for granted because of somethin' I couldn't control. It happened to me, so I did it myself."

"What did you do?" asked Lemy.

"Wasn't there for my kids..." X said. "That's why I'm here now. My daughter got into an accident a few months back. Can't do much for herself 'cuz of that wheelchair..."

Lemy looked down and X sucked his teeth.

"Don't feel bad, young blood-we manage. She's strong like her mama. Yells like her, too" X joked.

"No, it's just..." Lemy started. "You're a dad..."

X looks confused.

"Of course, I am-why is that a..."

X stops and realized where this was leading to. He sighs and shakes his head.

"He's a damn fool, not being there and all.." X says.

As soon as he said that, the car slows down and Lemy looks outside. He sees the outside gate of the scrapyard and sighs. Lemy was about to fish in his pocket for the money until X raises his hand and shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, young blood-you good" X said.

Lemy's brow raises. "A-Are you sure?" Lemy asked.

X nods.

"Thanks, si-I mean, X" Lemy said with a smile.

X smiles back as Lemy opens his door and hops out the car. Lemy waved as X drove down the street and could faintly hear the volume of the radio from the cab crank back up. Lemy walks into the yard to see Drew sitting in that chair of his, eating syrupy strawberries out of a can with the Black Sabbath playing from the radio near him. Drew looks up and gives him a nod.

"I'm gonna hang out in the back for a while..." Lemy said..

"Mmhm.." Drew replied as he kept shoveling fruit into his mouth.

Lemy was looking down the dirt path that lead to the back of the scrapyard, a quiet area away from the rest of the rubbished that occupied the space. Before he walked, he looked to Drew. Drew felt the boys stare and sighs, knowing the boy needed to ask a deep question. Drew usually hate these kind of questions from anyone else, but he had a soft spot for Lemy. He swallows his fruit and looks at Lemy.

"What's wrong, kid?" asked Drew, trying to not sound too gruff.

Lemy holds his arm.

"You say you went to school with my aunts, right?" Lemy asked.

"Yeah..." Drew said as he thinks. "Uhh...let's see...Lori..uh...Leni...and Louise?"

"L-Luna. My mom..." Lemy said said sheepishly.

Drew snapped his fingers. "Yeah! That's it!" he said. "Sorry. All these year of drinkin' kinda left my mind a blur..."

Lemy chuckled weakly.

"So...were they...sisters? Like, all of them?" Lemy asked.

Drew stroked his beard. "If memory serves..." he said. "I do believe they were all related. I remembered seeing their parents one football game, I think..."

Lemy started to sweat and his heart started to pound.

"W-W-What were their names..?" he asked softly.

Drew stared out into the road, thinking hard. Things grow quiet for a moment. The tenson killing him, Lemy was about to jump out of his skin. Drew turns to Lemy slowly and inhaled. Lemy could feel the blood in his body go cold and he couldn't help but to hold his breath. Drew opened his mouth and...he cough. Loudly.

Lemy exhale loudly with relief.

"Sorry-smokin' does that to ya. Anyway, I don't remember none" Drew said as she stuffed fruit back into his mouth, looking away from Lemy.

Lemy sighed. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it, As he scrolled through his past messages and geared up to text Leia, he paused. He wasn't too sure rather this was all factual or not, but he couldn't help to ask one of the few people he trusted if it was true. So, he sent his text to meet, pockets his phone and makes that walk down the path to the back of the scrapyard, leaving Drew to his lunch.

Drew swallowed a bit of fruit and tossed the can onto the ground, letting out a loud, heated burp. He wipes his mouth and sighed. He looks to the ground and strung up.

"Oh, and I think they may have had a brother or something like that-" he started. He looks around to see Lemy had already left. Drew was so busy in that last few moments eating, he hadn't take notice to Lemy walking off. He shrugs and pulls a flask out of his pocket. He turns up his music and sits back into his chair, drinking his booze alone and pulling out a cigar for later.

Lemy sat in the back for a while, sitting under a tree between a pile of rusted metal and a gutted yellow school bus nearby, waiting for his cousin to appear. Not too long through the storm, there was Leia. She flashed a light smile. He flashed one back.

"Hey…" he says in a low tone.

"Heya" Leia said calmly.

Leia walked up to sit under the tree with him and sighed. Lemy gave her a concerned look. He knew he hasn't been around too much lately, but she looked like she had a rough day.

"So..." he started. "How was-"

"Boring" Leia said. "School was boring."

"Oh" chuckles Lemy nervously. "That sucks.."

"Why didn't you go today?" asked Leia as she looks away from him.

Lemy knew then she was pissed.

"I was sick..." he said.

"Gwen saw you today-she sent me a picture..." Leia said. "You liar.."

"Goddamn it, Gwen..." thought Lemy to himself. He lets out a groan and looks to Leia. "I just didn't wanna go to school. That's all..."

"Hmm..." said Leia flatly. Lemy was losing ground. "Lyra will crucify you once your school calls and say you been skipping too many days again."

Lemy chuckled. "I ain't worried" he joked.

Leia rolled her eyes and turns to him. "That right there" she started. "Your grammar is terrible. Stop skipping class and learn something."

Lemy smerks. "Last time I checked, you were the little cousin" said Lemy with a flimsy bravado.

"Last time I checked you texted me to come see you..." Leia said with a faint smile.

Lemy pauses. She got him. He simply looks away and stares into the gray sky. Lemy thought for a moment. About the news clipping. About what X said. About what Drew remembers. The talks about mistakes and rather something is real or not. Lemy always shared the belief with Leia that something about their family was strange-something was wrong. Now he has something that might make that idea concrete clutched tightly in his hand and even so, he wondering: Will it make him feel better if he was right? What would this mean for his family? For himself? He didn't even know if it was even right. Newspapers make errors all the time and this was typed back in the early 2000s. There was no way of knowing the truth without asking his aunts or his uncle, and if he's wrong, he could ruin the already barely stable relationships he already has trouble holding on to. The stress was taxing.

Lemy stood up and looks down to his cousin, who looks to him with a concerned face.

"I have to show you something..." Lemy said.

He opened his hand and looks at the news clipping and froze. His body began to shake. What he read before, about Aunt Lori and everything else, was gone-the tightness of his hands and the wet air damping the small article and leaving it completely unreadable. Lemy's prove, like most things in his life, fell to pieces.

Liby stands in front of the checkout counter with the nice Ms. Luan. Liby wasn't as nervous as she once was and in the short time of shopping, grew to like the clerk who took time out of her day to assist her. As Ms. Luan rung up her items, Liby thought about her mother. She wonder is her mother was as nice as Ms. Luan, with the corny jokes and all. She smiles to herself and-

"That'll be $12.45, dear" said Ms. Luan with a smile.

Liby paused. She looks at the counter and the items there. A bag of beef jerky for Lacy, a bag of strawberry cheesecake bites for Lupa, a medium bag of generic hamburger chips for herself, and three drinks. One bottle of water, one SportsSplash, and one canned mocha coffee-off brand. Liby was so caught up talking and joking with Ms. Luan during the shopping, she forgot to take notice of how much money she had.

Luan looks to the girl to see she was clutching her ten dollar bill, putting it together that she didn't have enough money. However, Luan reached over the counter and took her money. Before Liby could speak, Luan puts up her finger and takes the rest of the money she owed out of her pocket and puts it in the regester and bags the items. As she hands her the bag, she flashed the young girl a wink. Liby takes the bag and smiles.

"Thank you, Ms. Luan!" said Liby happly.

Luan giggles.

"No prob, dear. And hey-don't be a stranger. Come back and see me sometime" said Luan, patting Liby on the head.

"Okay!" said Liby as she turned to the door.

"Ya never told me your name" joked Luan.

Liby turned back to the Luan and smiled.

"Liby!" Liby said excitedly.

"Okay, Lib-" started before freezing. Luan turned pale and started to sweat. "Liby..." she said softly. "Uhh...w-what's your last name..?"

Before Liby could answer, she could hear her sister hasle people outside. Liby waved to Luan and quickly made her way outside, leaving Luan alone at the store. Luan looks downb at the counter and held her chest, feeling like she was about to faint.

"Did I just met my daughter...?" she thought to herself.

"FUCK! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Lemy shouted.

Lemy was paces around the ripped wet pile of paper that was his proof. Leia walks up to Lemy and looks to him worried.

"Lemy, calm down!" Leia said.

"I had it-I fuckin' had it and now it's fucked! Goddamn it!" Lemy said.

"And quit cursing! It doesn't make you smart!" leia barked.

"All I'm saying is that I had proof! And now it's gone!" Lemy said, stopping his pacing to stare down his younger cousin.

Leia puffs her chest.

"What proof?! What are you talking about?!" Leia said.

"PROOF THAT-" he started.

"Hey! Shut the hell up already! Geez!"

Lemy and Leia paused. They looked around and then at one another. Someone is back here with them. The two looked around the the mountain of scrap, wet trash, black bags and the insides of inner parts of various machines. No sign of life. Leia looks to the far end fence that lead along a wall. Leia slowly walked over. Lemy noticed, fearing the person could be someone who can harm her, he follows. As Leia makes her way to the wall and the fence connection, she sees a plume a smoke. Had to be a smoker. She get to the fence with Lemy not too fair behind her. She couldn't see the person from that side of the fence.

"Who's there?" Leia nearly demanded.

A light sigh is heard. Slow steps are heard and standing on the other side of the fence is a girl. Pale skin. Freckles. Seemingly white hair. Black and golden yellow hoodie. Her black nail polished hands angled near her face as a plume of smoke pours from her nostrils. Leia squints her eyes. Lemy's mouth dropped.

The girl looked at both the kids and sighed again.

"Me" said the white haired girl.

Her voice was as flat as her dark eyes; heavy bags hung underneath and the whites were shot through with faded streaks of red, suggesting long, sleepless nights. A damp gust of wind flipped her snowy bangs across her acne studded forehead and dispersed the smoke in a thin cloud.

"Who's _me?"_ Leia asked, her hands going defensively to her hips.

The girl lifted the filter of the cigarette to her thin lips and sucked, the cherry brightening and a bit of ash falling onto her skirt; Lemy followed it with his eyes, watched it break against and stain the smooth, creamy flesh of her bare leg, his chest tightening. "The girl trying to have a peaceful cigarette," she said, smoke rolling from her mouth and creeping up her face like tendrils of fog before blowing away in the wind. She turned her eyes to Lemy, and something about them, some indefinable quality, made his heart race. "You had your proof, now you don't, buddy, get over it."

Lemy opened his mouth to speak but words wouldn't form - he suddenly felt self-conscious and awkward.

"Well, we're sorry to have disturbed you," Leia said, her voice edged with sarcasm. She looked at Lemy and frowned at his state: Blushing, slack-jawed, wide-eyed. She looked at the white haired girl and back. Yuck, Lemy, really? But you won't even _look_ at Gwen.

The girl took another drag and blew it out through her nose, her eyes on Lemy. "What's wrong with your boyfriend?" she asked and gestured to him with her chin. "He's giving me the creeps."

"He's not my boyfriend, he's my cousin," Leia said. She looked at Lemy again, then flashed, shooting out her elbow and catching him in the arm. He seemed to come out of a trance and shook his head.

"Sorry," he said quickly, glancing away from the girl. "It's been a long day and I got some heavy shit on my mind. I'm Lemy, and this is Leia."

The girl stared at him for a moment, her expression inscrutable, then she took a long puff. "Lupa," she said.

That was a strange name, but as it rolled around in his head, stretching like salt water taffy, he decided he liked it. "What are you doing here?" he asked. It sounded dumb and trite even to his own ears, but he had to say something.

Lupa barked hrash, humorless laughter. "That headband must be cutting off the blood flow to your head," she said and held up her cigarette. "This, I'm doing this. Okay?"

Next to him, Leia narrowed her eyes. She didn't appreciate the girl's tone _or_ that comment about Lemy's headband. Sure, the headband itself was dumb, but _he_ was not, even though his grammar was shit sometimes. She turned to her older cousin and nudged his arm again. "Lupa obviously wants to be alone. Let's go."

Lupa nodded. "It's true."

Before Lemy could reply, he caught a flash of movement from the corner of his eye and turned; a girl with pale brown hair, her cheeks smattered with freckles, leaned through a hole in the fence, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. She wore a red shirt with a white number 2 across the front and denim shorts that stopped well above her knees. Though she wasn't identical to Lupa, she bore enough resemblance to her that they _had_ to be sisters. "Who are _you?"_ she asked Lemy, her tone wary and distrustful.

Lemy opened his mouth to speak, but Lupa cut him off. "Lemy and Leia, my new best friends." She got to her feet and dusted her butt off.

The girl came through the hole and regarded Lemy with guarded caution. "He looks like a rapist," she said.

"He's not a rapist," Leia spat.

"I'm really not," Lemy said and held up his hands, palms out. "We were just hanging out and -"

"Screaming about his proof," Lupa said. She dropped the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out. "Guess he lost it. Is Liby done?"

The girl, never taking her eyes off Lemy, as though afraid he'd strike the moment she did, shook her head. "Not yet." She slipped one hand into her pocket, and Lemy's heart seized. These girls looked rough, like some of the girls in his building, and he wouldn't put it past them to whip out a knife and try to rob them. He stepped protectively in front of Leia, and the girl tensed.

"Will you relax, Lacy?" Lupa sighed. She went over and peeked through the hole - beyond was the gas station parking lot. Not seeing Liby, whoever that was, she turned back to Lemy and leaned against the fence, her hands slipping into the oversized pockets of her hoodie. "You from around here?" she asked.

Lemy nodded. "Yeah, we both are, why?"

"Any abandoned buildings?" she looked around as if she could spot one from her current post, but to her right the fence blocked the view and to her left piles of scrap and junk rose into the sky like jagged mountains.

"Yeah, a couple," Lemy said and glanced at Leia, who glared at him. _Let's_ go, her expression said. "Why?"

Lupa shook her head. "Curious. Place looks like a shit hole." She looked at Lacy. "Can you -?

The snapping of twigs cut her off, and everyone turned - a girl with long rust color hair and an overbite filled the gap in the fence, her thin frame shaking and her eyes wide with anxiety, putting Lemy in mind of a doe in the headlights. She held up a bag. "I-I got our stuff."

"Awesome," Lacy said and went to, "I'm dying of thirst here." She took a bottle of sports drink and twisted the cap off.

Lupa pushed away from the fence. "Alright, it's been real," she said to Lemy and turned to go.

Something she said occurred to him, and his brows furrowed. "Wait," he said and she hesitated. "You guys are new in town, right?"

"Yeah, brand new," Lupa said as she slipped a can from the bag and cracked it open. "Just got off the bus."

Lemy opened his mouth but closed it again. Though he'd known her only five minutes, if that, there was something about Lupa that he liked. Sure, she was hot as fuck, but it was something more, something deeper. Looking into her eyes, he saw that something that he couldn't articulate, but now, it clicked into place: Pain. He saw hurt and anger in her, the same things he felt himself every single day of his miserable, bullshit life. For some strange reason, he wanted to know more about her, about why she felt that way, and from what source it came.

And maybe to fix it.

Lupa and Lacy were both staring expectantly; Liby stared coyly at her own feet. "Where, uh, where do you guys live?"

"Nowhere," Lupa said.

Lemy blinked. "What, are you guys homeless or something?" he asked.

Lupa shrugged noncommittally. Lemy wasn't the brightest dude around, but he knew that was pretty much a yes. "If you must know, we're looking for our family." She told him how she and her sisters left the group home in Detroit in search of their parents - or someone - and as he listened, Lemy's heart broke. Jesus, that's rough. His mom was a fucking asshole and he hated his life, but at least he knew where he came from - not knowing, and feeling crushing loneliness that Lupa and her sisters felt, would be ten times worse than dealing with his mother's shit.

"So that's why I asked you about abandoned buildings. Where are some of them, anyway?"

Lemy opened his mouth without knowing what he was going to say until he said it. "Why don't you stay with me?

Lacy and Lupa both looked at him as though he were crazy...or dangerous. "Uh, yeah, no," Lupa said, "we're good."

"No, seriously, if you guys need somewhere to stay, it's cool." He flashed a sheepish grin. "I swear, I'm not dangerous."

For a long moment Lupa studied him for traces of deceit but saw none. He seemed genuine, though you can never be too sure about people. There was something about him that made her feel...at ease, though. It didn't hurt that he was kind of cute..and, more pragmatically, smaller than her and Lacy both. If he tried anything they could beat the shit out of him easy. She glanced at her sisters and thought for a moment. She didn't feel comfortable taking him up on his offer, but like it or not, she was completely responsible now for Liby and Lacy, and she didn't exactly like the thought of making them sleep in a cold, abandoned house when there was an alternative. She looked at Lemy and chewed her bottom lip in thought. His cousin didn't seem taken with the idea, but she struck Lupa as a snotty private school bitch, so she didn't matter. Liby and Lacy did, and that was it.

"Where do you live?" she asked.

"Apartment building," Lemy said. "With my mom and sister. It's kinda cramped, but you guys can stay."

"Lemy!" said Leia with a scoff. "Don't tell t-this...riff raff anything about your home!"

"Leia! That's not cool-don't call her that!" Lemy said, shocked by his cousins outburst.

Liby looks looks to the ground, finding the term Leia to be rather crude. Lacy balled her bottom lip and combed it with her teeth, ready to fight the child. Lupa could only smirk, finding the the blonde child's attitude to be more humorous than anything. She took a moment to study the girl. It didn't take long to come to the conclusion that Leia was the polar opposite of her. However, something about the girl caused her to straight up stare her down: her outfit. The school girl uniform reminded her too much about that slight nightmare she had the other night. She shook her head and looks back to Lemy, who noticed she was staring at him. He clears his throat nervously and puts on a smile and a flushed face.

"S-She didn't mean that..." Lemy assured. Lupa raised her hand and chuckled.

"Nah..." she started. "It's fine. We're strangers, after all. Besides, we can take care of ourselves."

"Yeah!" Lacy jumped in. "Lotown natives make do!"

"And maybe you three trash bags can-" Leia started. Lemy growled lightly. Leia yelps.

"Look, it's okay-" Lupa started.

"No, I'm serious. There aren't too many places you three can go. A-At least let me try to help you. I-I mean, if you want me to try and help, that is. Y-You can say no and, uh, w-well..no. Y-You shouldn't because it's raining and..."

Lupa couldn't believe it. The boy was broken. He was rambling like a nervous child, looking for a concrete topic to push on. Liby stared at Lacy, confused and worried about this person she just met. Lacy found his rambling bothersome enough for her ro roll her eyes. Leia pinched the fold of her brow, embarrassed by Lemy's behavior. Lupa, however...felt weird about it. She rather...enjoyed it? Sure, he was bumbling like a fool. But to her, it sounded so sincere and kind, she couldn't help but smile at the boy. She sighs, thinking this had to be stupid way to feel, but if it means she and her sisters can have warm place to sleep, maybe it'll be wise to accept it.

"Fine" Lupa said plainly, wiping her smirk away for effect.

Lemy gets quiet while Leia stared daggers at the girl. Lupa's sisters are lost.

"L-Lupa! Are you serious?!" Lacy barked.

"A-Are you sure it's okay..?" Liby asked.

Lupa looks to Lemy.

"Tell you what" she started. "If you're mom is okay with us staying a night or two, ya got yourself a deal."

Lacy and Liby went quiet, not wanting to question Lupa's choice. Lemy stood there, starting to sweat.

"Sure! I doubt she'd even care.." Lemy said with false confidence.

Leia tugs at Lemy. Lemy turns to her to see her point at the path. Rubber feeling the wet earth is heard from a low rumbling engine. Lemy freezes to see an SUV pull up close to them, the high beams of the vehicle turning off. The children looked at one another.

"W-Who is that...?" asked Liby softly.

Lemy gives a heavy sigh. Leia's expression turns to one of worry. Lupa takes notice of the shift in mood but doesn't comment.

"My mother..." Lemy said bitterly.

The passenger door opens and Luna, Lemy's mother, hops out of the car and into the mud and almost falls into the mire, but is able to keep her balance by holding the car door for support. Days of being thrown outside the fields on understanding has left her fresh to her body. As she tries to walk towards Lemy, Lyra hops out the car and walks toward him quickly, flashing a very upset look. Lemy gulps.

"Hey, sis..." he says sheepishly.

Lyra get right in front of Lemy, the rain damping her long mane as she stares down at her younger brother. Lemy looked pale.

"I got a call from you're school today..." Lyra said sternly.

Lemy holds his arm and looks away.

"You haven't been back in days...care to explain yourself?" Lyra asked calmly.

"Yeah!" slurred Luna from the car door. "You little shit!"

Lyra groans. "Mother, I can handle this.." Lyra said.

"No, no, no! I need t-to do my job as a parent.." Luna slurred as she wades through the mud like she didn't know how legs worked. Shed managed to get her way to the top of the hill and next to Lyra. She reeked of liquor. She looked to the boy and flashed an upset look as well.

"Are you going to answer her?" Luna asked. "Why have you been ditching school?"

Lemy looked down, couldn't face the women with an answer. Lyra moves closer.

"I go to school. I work. I take care of you-and you spit in my face by not doing the ONE thing I asked from you" Lyra said. "Get an education-that's all I asked! And you're..you been dealing again, have you..?"

Lyra's face turned a ghastly white. Lupa's brow raises. This guy? A drug dealer? He was nothing like the drug dealers from Lotown. No dreads, baggy clothes, basic gold chain-nothing. From how they act, he seems to be something of a badass. Rather its the real him or just a front, seemed to be an issue. Not to mention, he looked legitimately lost-unsure how to tackle what's happening. Lupa didn't know why, but she didn't want to see the guy struggle. She started to climb the fence and walks next to Lemy.

"He's been skipping to hang out with me" Lupa said.

Luna and Lyra looked at her surprised. Lacy and Liby looked at one another while Leia's mouth dropped. Before Lemy could speak, Lupa bumped him on the arm with her elbow.

"Right, Lem?" Lupa asked.

Lem. Lemy was impressed how quick she ran to back him up. He decides to take this as an out.

"Y-Yeah..." he says. "She's a friend of mine. He name is...Lupa.."

Lupa looks to the boy, trying not to smile at him. She points to her sisters.

"Those are my sisters-Liby and Lacy."

The two girl awkwardly waved.

Lyra looked at them and then back to Lemy. She knew what this was-a smokescreen. She was trying to cover Lemy's tracks and keep him from getting into trouble. Lyra has had enough with Lemy's behavior and was going to let him know, but before she can say anything, a hand covers her mouth. Lyra looks to see who silenced her. It was her mother. Luna had this look on her face-the look of wonder. She walks up to the girl and looked her in the eye. Lupa looks at her, uncomfortable having her so close to her face.

"What was you name again, little dudette?" Luna asked.

"Lupa" she said calmly. Being the blunt child she was.

Lemy didn't understand it. But her mother just...smiled. The toothy, warm smile-something she isn't known to do at all. She reached out to Lupa and..patted her head.

"You say they are your sisters-Liby and Lacy" Luna asked.

Lupa stared, lost. Luna looks to her confused son.

"How about you guys stay with us tonight?" Luna asked casually.

Lupa and Lemy looked at each other, both not expecting such an answer. Lyra was frozen. Her mother's anger is just...gone. Why would she be okay with letting three unknown heathens into her home? This was not in her character. Leia balled her fist in anger. Aunt Luna, why? Of all days to be passive, you pick today for the street trash? Leia was heated. That was her cousin. That's all she had. She wasn't ready to share.

"Uh, are your sure, ma'am?" asked Lupa.

Luna nodded. "I usually crash at houses of my boyfriends...or girlfriends. So, it's like I'm not even there...because I'm not."

Lupa flashed a nervous smile. Lemy wanted to question it but Luna claps her hands.

"Okay, kids!" Luna started. "Everyone car! Leia, we'll drop you off at your house-let's go!"

Without second guessing, Lemy walks to the car calmly. As long as he's not getting into trouble for ditching, he was fine with whatever just happened. Lupa walks after him, just happy to have a roof for her and her sisters while they go on their goose chase. Liby and Lacy followed behind with a disappointed Leia, dragging her heels to get in the car. Before long, only Lyra and Luna are left outside. Lyra looks to her mother, upset she didn't use that moment to punish Lemy. She sighs.

"Lord have mercy..." Lyra mumbled.

Luna scoffs.

"You and you're God nonsense.." Luna says coldly.

Lyra turns to her mother with vinegar in her veins.

"Do not speak of Him in such a way, mother..." Lyra says harshly.

Luna faces her daughter.

"Go to church" Luna starts. "Go to church all you want. Eat a thousand crackers and sing a million hymns...but remember-you are MY daughter. I know what you are. You know what I am. At the end of the day, you'll end up like me...and we'll go to hell together. And I'll be there, teasing you the whole way..."

"You junkie heathen..." Lyra growled through her teeth.

"Yes-get mad. Get angry. Give in to your sins, dude..." Luna joked.

Lyra groans.

"You can curse me all you want but you will NOT drag Lemy through the mud with you-" Lyra started.

"Why?" Luna asked.

"Because he's my brother and I love him..." Lyra rebutted.

Luna chuckles.

"What's so funny..?" Lyra demanded.

"Old Testament love or New Testament love? B-because you and me both know which one-" Luna started.

Lyra walks away, her face balled tight, wrapped by anger. Luna could only laugh. The two get in the car and drive out of the scrapyard. The ride home is quiet. Before returning home, Lyra drops Leia off outside her home. She drives away, leaving Leia in the rain to think about what just happened. All she had was her cousin Lemy, the only other person who understood her. Along comes mystery girl and her goon spawn. Lupa wasn't that interesting-just a street rat. That girl wasn't his family-she was. Leia sighed and walked up her walkway. She turns to see her father's car was gone. However, her mother seemed to be home. Leia waked to the porch, up the steps and walks into the house. As she passed through the dining room, she hears a noise. It's her mother, scrabbling through papers.

Leia looks at the table and noticed scribblings on a piece of paper. $50 for a cake. $20 for plastic cups and plates. $100 on pizza? Was this all going to be featured for Lizy's birthday? Why are they going about this in such a manner? Ms. Loud looks up to see her daughter.

"Welcome home, dear" she started. "How was your errand?"

"Fine...I mean, it was..until..." Leia said as she slumps in the doorway of the dining room.

Her mother looked concerned. She figured she could try to pry.

"What's wrong?" asked Rita.

"Lemy might like this girl and might like want to hang with me anymore and her name is stupid and it's not fair!" Leia said.

Petty childhood drama. As Rita expected. She sighs and smiles. She wish her life was less complex than her...daughter's.

"Dumb name, huh?" giggled Rite.

Leia looks up and scoffs.

"One of the dumbest I've heard. Her freaking name is Lupa" Leia jokes.

Rita got quiet. Leia looked at her mother.

"Mom?" Leia asked.

"L-Lupa?" her mother asked calmly, slightly shaking.

"Yeah..." Leia said. "Her sister's names aren't much better-"

"What's their names...?" asked Rite ominously.

The tone of the conversation has made Leia uncomfy, but she does what she is told and answered her mother.

"L-Liby and Lacy or something-" Leia said.

"I'm sorry, dear-I just remembered a bill I haven't paid. I need to go ahead and take care of it" Rita says. "Head to your room, okay?"

Leia didn't say much. She just groans and walks away, thinking once again, her mother wants nothing to do with her. Rita stays completely still, listening for every step along the creaking floor. She hears a close shut. Rite quickly pulls out her cellphone and sighs; the lone sound of dial tones chiming.

"Hello? Lucy? It's...i-it's your mother..." Rita started. "It's about your daughter...she's come home...and yeah-we are in trouble..."


	5. Web of Lies

Lemy was slowly rustled from a deep, dreamless I-Smoked-A-Fat-Bowl-Before-I-Went-To-Bed sleep by… _*sniff*_... Ew, what the fuck is _that_? He peeled open one bleary eye and moved his head, neck sore. The world was indistinct, watery. He turned to the right, then to the left.

Something fuzzy brushed his lips.

He frowned, forced the other eye open, and drew back a little. What the hell's going on? He blinked, and the world swam into focus: Two stinky socked feet were inches from his face, a toe sticking through a hole and brown stains splotching the heel. Lemy recoiled and sat up, his lips puckering distastefully. Ugh, he could taste it.

The feet belonged to Lacy. Last night, he, her, Lyra, Lupa, and Liby bunked in the living room, lying head to foot like cordwood because hey, no space. He and Lyra would have slept in their room, but Mom had Todd over, and the last shit either of them wanted to do was watch their mother smoke meth and have sex with a neo-Nazi. Todd was a total dick about it too; one time Lemy was laying in his bed, his pillow over his head to drown out his mother's moans three feet away, and Todd kept talking to him. "Hey, kid, look what I'm doing to your mom. I'm ripping her guts out from behind." Lemy finally had enough and turned over to tell him to fuck off and die, and just his luck, it was the end: Todd yanked out and pointed his dick at Lemy, blowing a wad in his direction. It fell short, of course, but both Mom and Todd thought it was the funniest thing, both so whacked out on smack they didn't know which end was up.

Presently, Lemy ran his hand through his tangled hair and smacked his lips. He needed a cigarette. On his other side, Lyra stirred and muttered in her sleep. He smiled fondly and did his best to extract himself from between her and Lacy without waking her, succeeding. On his feet and wobbly, he stepped over Lacy and went into the kitchen, jumping a little when Lupa spoke.

"Hey."

She was standing by the open pantry door, her hands on her hips and her lips arranged in a sharp frown. She wore her clothes from yesterday and an expression that said kill me now. Heh. Lemy knew that one all too well; he saw it in the mirror every day.

"Good morning," he said, suddenly very aware of the fact that his chest was bare.

"Yeah, great, good morning," she said briskly and looked into the pantry. "Don't you have anything to eat in here?"

Lemy's face flushed with embarrassment, just as it had last night when they came through the door. _Here we are_ , he told Lupa and her sisters, fronting like he wasn't ashamed of the squalor in which he lived, _home, sweet home._ Lupa's nose crinkled. _What's that smell?_ Liby saw a cockroach darting from one concealment to another and cringed. Lacy just rolled her eyes. _And I thought the group home was bad._

Presently, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck "Uhh... " he made a show of thinking. Gee, do we have food? But, seriously, no, there was virtually nothing. "I...uh...we forgot to go grocery shopping."

Lupa stared at him inscruitably...then sighed and slowly turned back to the pantry. She reached in and came back with a box of instant mashed potatoes; Lemy knew for a fact that they were almost two years old and didn't cook right - some cheap off-brand Lyra picked up at the gas station once. He started to tell her, but before he could, she ripped the top of the box open and upended it to her lips like a soda, white flakes cascading down the sides of her mouth and littering the floor. She took it away and chewed, then turned to the drying rack. "No clean dishes either," she said, spraying bits of potato. Lemy flushed, feeling one inch tall; she reached into the overfull sink, grabbed a spoon, and dipped it into the box. "Whatever."

"A-Are you really eating it like that?" Lemy asked timidly.

"Yeah," Lupa said.

"Well...I can cook it for you."

Lupa dipped the spoon in and took a heaping bite. "I'm fine." He brushed past him and went into the living room, sitting Indian style on the ratty, dirty, possibly cum-soaked blanket that served as her bed the night before. She laid her hand on Liby's shoulder and shook - the older girl stirred and muttered. "C'mon, Lib," Lupa said, "breakfast."

Like a shot, Lacy sat up, her nose sniffing the air and reminding Lemy of a rabbit. "There's food?" she asked hopefully. Lupa held out the box, and Lacy frowned, but took it anyway and upended it the way her sister had, spilling flakes onto the floor and the blanket. "Not half bad," she said around a mouthful. In between them, Lyra came awake and rolled onto her back, her hand fluttering to her forehead and her eyes blinking.

Thus begins the day, Lemy thought. He turned around to grab his cigarettes from the kitchen counter, but stumbled back when Todd shoved past him. Dick, Lemy thought but wasn't brave enough to say. Todd, dressed in basketball shorts and nothing else, his dumb Hitler tattoos proudly displayed, ripped open the fridge, grabbed a beer, and cracked it, taking a long drink. Lemy reached for his smokes, but Todd swiped them away. "You're too young for these," he said and shook one out, plopping it into his own mouth.

Lemy growled and balled his fists. "Give those back."

Todd grinned evilly, splayed his palm on Lemy's forehead, and pushed him back. "Nope. I'm confiscating them." He turned and started away, taking the sweet, soothing nicotine with him.

"C-Can I have at least one, please?" Lemy asked.

Todd paused, bobbed his head from side to side in thought, then turned and pulled one from the pack. Looking Lemy dead in the eyes, he licked the filter, then tossed it at his feet. "Smoke up, asshole," he said, then chuckled darkly.

When he was gone, Lemy looked forlornly at the cigarette, then took a deep breath, and feeling less than trash, picked it up, He ripped the filter off and angrily threw it toward his mother's closed bedroom door. Fuck you, Todd.

A hand fell on his shoulder, and he instinctively palmed the cigarette. "I have a bag of chips," Lyra whispered into his ear. "You can have it when they leave."

There was a distasteful twist to the word 'they'. He could sense that Lyra didn't particularly like having them here (and see it, too, the way she looked at them last night as they sat around the living room).

He started to tell her that they were hungry too, and that they should share, but his words died when his mother shambled out of her room, wearing nothing but a ratty purple tank top and white panties. Her eyes were red and glassy and her skin sheened in sweat. A cigarette dangled from her lips, and as she went, it dropped and she stepped on it, jumping back as it burned the bottom of her foot. "Shit," she hissed. Lemy couldn't help a rush of savage satisfaction, since it probably came from his pack.

Luna places her foot back on the grime covered floor and looks at her children. Lyra turns her back and walks to the other side of the kitchen, pretending not to see her. Luna noticed this and smirks a bit before focusing on Lemy. Lemy shots her an blank look, which caused Luna's original expression to shift. She slowly gives him a warm smile, but he gives her a stone face. Luna laughs sheepishly, swaying as she stand.

"Heeeeeeey, little dude…" Luna said, opening her arms up for a hug.

Lemy just leers at her. Luna, feeling foolish for prompting the option, pulls her arms back to her side and clears her throat. "H-How's your morning?" she asked.

Lemy sighs. "Fine…" Lemy groaned. "Besides Todd being a fucker…"

Luna's face drops. She sighs.

"H-He's not THAT bad…" Luna tried to defend.

"He's a racist prick and if he takes my cigarettes again, I'm gonna slide him…" Lemy said.

"S-Slide..?" Luna asked with her face riddled with confusion.

"I'll have to punch him…" Lemy said, annoyed he had to explain his slang.

Luna sighed. "Lemy, please...I know he's...different. But he's an adult and he's in my life. I don't dig the whole Hitler thing, but if you look pass all that, you might like him?"

Lemy looked at his mother with the most shocked expression.

Lyra sighs, causing Lemy and his mother to look at her.

"Lemy, ignore such a crazy idea" Lyra preached. "God is the only man you need in your life."

Luna and Lyra glared at each other. Lemy starts walking.

"A dad would be nice…" Lemy said as he walked out the kitchen.

Luna looks back as Lemy walks away. She walks over to Lyra and crossed her arms. The two met eye to eye, both shaking-ready to snap on one another. However, nothing too raw occurs and for a solid three minutes of silent staring, Luna finally made the first shot, keeping her voice low to not alarm the children in the other room. .

"The hell was that?" Luna said in a hushed tone.

"It's true-we both HATE Todd" Lyra snapped softly.

"He's not that bad-" Luna started.

"He's a gross, vulgar drug abusing biget and I don't want him near my brother," Lyra said. "He has NO redeeming qualities to be anything remotely positive in his life and you know it.

"Well, he's around. You'll just have to deal with it" Luna said.

"He'll leave you once you're out of whatever drug you are using at the.." Lyra paused and stares at her mother with a bored look, as if she already knew how the remainder of this conversation will go. "W-W-What drugs are you two even doing now?" Lyra asked, losing track of her mother's addictions.

"PCP and meth, mostly…" she said.

"Of course.." Lyra said. She starts walking out of the kitchen. "I have to get ready for school…"

School. Luna forgot all about Lemy's skipping, but due to what's happened, she realized it doesn't matter for her mind was still set on those three-The Lost Loud Trio, she jokingly called them. Luna couldn't believe it. She knew it would be a matter of time before they'd starting snooping around; looking for their family, but she'd always figured it would be when they were well into their adult lives. If they look like that, that means they'd been moving through the system since they were abandoned. Luna could help but laugh at the situation. She had nothing against the three girls that stayed with her-they did nothing wrong. But their mothers...those hypocritical mothers she called sisters...they have to answer to this. All she had to do is wait-

The phone rings in the kitchen. She walks over and looks at the caller ID. It was her sister Luan. She smiled and cleared her throat. She picks up the phone and answers.

"Hello?"

"Oh, heeeeeeello, sis! How you been? How long has it been since you last spoke to me? About...a year and a half?"

"Oh, I'm just getting my day started. Lemy has a few friends over and-"

"What has that?"

"Weeeeeeeell, now that you mention it...I DID had a few things I had to do today and won't be able to help these poor girls and-"

Luna pauses as Luan begins to shout on the other side of the line. Luna giggles.

"Okay, Okay…" Luna resumes. "I'm sorry I screwed with you. I know they are...the ones. But I really do have stuff to do today. So, here: why don't I have my daughter drop them off to stay with you? She's gotta go over there anyway to pick up Leia and Liena so why not?"

A pause. Luan's voice speaking on an agreement on the line.

"They'll be over in an hour or so. I'll let them know. Later!"

Luna hangs up the phone and walks into the living room and stares at the four children. Lemy is dressed up, staring at Lupa as she tries to dust off the mashed potatoes powder off her hoodie. Lacy was struggling to stay awake and Liby was trying not to make eye contact with Luna, nervous about being in a stranger's home. Luna coughs and smiles. The kids looked at her, but not Lemy.

"How'd you kids sleep?" asked Luna.

"Better than on the street" Lupa said honestly. "Thank you. We'll get out of your hair soon."

Lemy's eyes bucked. Before he could say anything, Luna steps in to say.

"So, what brought you girls into town again?" asked Luna.

"W-We're looking for our parents-" started Liby.

"We're wasting our time…" Lupa said bluntly. Liby looks down to the ground, upset Lupa was still being mad about the trip. Lupa didn't want to show she felt bad for hurting Liby's feelings again. She looks to the obviously drugged out woman. "What she said…" Lupa said begrudgingly.

Luna nods.

"And you have nowhere to go?" asked Luna.

"No…" Lupa said.

"Well, you can't stay here…" Luna said.

Liby's mouth dropped and Lupa gave a slight chuckle. Lemy hops up.

"But mom-" Lemy started. Lupa looks to Lemy.

"But nothing, kiddo. They can't stay with us…" Luna said. Lemy turns away, upset she was going to kick them out. Lupa was still unsure why Lemy was trying to help them so much. However, she thought it was nice and all, but she had to make a plan for where they can stay next.

"This place is too small for them. So, they are gonna stay with your Auntie Rita for a while" Luna said with a smile.

"What?" Lupa, Lemy and Liby said in unison.

"WHAT?!" shouted Lyra as she came from the hall into the living room. She stared at her mother angrly. "Why are you doing that?! We don't-"

"You're aunt asked to help" Luna said calmly.

Lyra closes her mouth and bites her lip and Lupa stands up.

"Okay,,," she starts. "I really appreciate the help, but me and my sister's can handle ourselves-"

"You lived in the system?" asked Luna.

Lupa pauses. She looks to Liby and then back to Luna, shoving her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. "Y-Yeah…" she answered.

"Hmm…" said Luna as she walked up to Lupa. Lupa stands still as Luna takes a knee. "I was only 20 years old when I had Lyra. I ran away from home because I didn't want to tell my parents the truth about having a baby. Dropped out of college. Didn't have a job. Didn't have money. Cut ties with my parents...for months...on the streets. Alone."

Lemy and Lyra both looked at their mother. They never in their lives seen her talk in such a serious manner. Lupa was somewhat in trance with Luna being so open. Liby watches in silence as Lacy just lays on the floor, drifted back to sleep.

"I had it rough back then, dude…" Luna said. "Did a lot of crazy shit to survive. Had to sleep in a few public bathrooms. Used to wrap Lyra in my jacket so she can stay warm while I froze my tits off. Used to steal from other street people. I managed to get lucky-finding some good stuff to pawn and had enough money to get this place."

Lupa didn't respond. Lyra was conflicted, seeing her mother act this way seemed so wrong.

Luna continues. "Look...I know I'm just a 30-something year old preaching. I mean, why take advice from a junkie? Because I lived on the streets for a year and a half before I was able to live here. I seen what happens to kids your age out there. I know you want to show that you are grown up and smart. So, take the smart choice and stay somewhere with food, beds and good people."

Luna rested her hand on Lupa's shoulder. The two locked eyes. Lupa looks down to think. Lupa tried her hardest to pick apart what Luna said but...nothing. Luna made a great point. All three of them have been in some kind of group home their whole lives and was never without too much. Living on the street at their age was dangerous, and she knew this, but she felt she was strong enough to take care of them. But hearing this, Lupa isn't sure is wandering the streets is the best idea anymore. Especially in a city they know nothing about. Lupa sighs.

"So, this Rita person...what kind of person is she?" Lupa asked.

Luna stood up.

"Waaaaay better than me…" Luna joked. "She and her husband...my older, uh, brother Lynn...will do right by you. I can say that."

Liby gets up and walks over to her sister.

"Please, Lupa?" asked Liby.

Lupa looks beside her to Lemy, who gave her a concerned look. She rolls her eyes, but looks to Lemy one more time.

"Fine" Lupa says. Both Lemy and Liby smiled. Lyra crossed her arms and looked away.

"Lyra will drop you three off" Luna said. She looks to Lacy, who was still sleep on the ground, and looks at her feet. She recoils. "B-But before that, you three should get a shower. Starting with her." She points to Lacy.

Lyra goes into the kitchen as Lacy begins to wake up again. Lemy walks off to show the three where the bathroom is and how to get the tub to work. Liby breaks away for a moment to see Luna as she was getting ready to walk back into her room. She clears her throat. Luna hears her and turns around, giving her a smile. Before she could speak, Liby moves close and hugs Luna's side. Luna paused for a moment. She hasn't been genuinely hugged in what seemed like centuries. Luna unknowingly reacts and wraps her arms around Liby. How strange-a grown woman hugging a niece she's never truly knew or seen since we was only two years old. Luna looks down at Liby. The young girl smiles with wet eyes.

"Thank you…" Liby said.

Luna was choked up and lost of words. Liby walks away to follow her sisters to the bathroom to see how to properly operate the tub. That moment left Luna with mix feelings. She knew she wasn't the perfect mother. She knew she wanted to rub the fact that she was a mother at all in her sister's face, but that moment left her feeling sick. They were still people, those girls. Lupa was a wise and strong willed kid and Liby is a sensitive, shy sweetheart. Using them to pick on her sister's felt wrong. She knew it was wrong. A feeling of guilt shot through her veins, hitting harder than anything she's ever shot up. Luna resumes her route to her room.

Luna walks back into her dimly lit and clustered room. The room was walled with dirty clothes, newspaper stockpiles and towers of shoe boxes full of random fast food receipts, unpaid parking tickets and half-baked schemes to scam extra money for a few xans and an 8 ball. Homemade bongs made out of faded colored soda cans, empty honey bottles, and one otherworldly contraption made out of a Divine Coral liquor bottle and a Mason jar chamber took space in the far corner of the room. Unwove wire hangers with burnt tips, balled up tin foil and mental car antennas used as pipes scatter the floor like debris in a see of plastic bags and sticky beer cans. A pit of despair only someone like her can live in without complaints. She appears just on time to see Todd sitting on the bed and packing his stuff. Luna stands there and watches.

"Uhh, going somewhere, dude?" asked Luna as she lights a new cig.

"Yeah-Moncler" Todd says as he puts a Confederate flag into his bag.

Luna rolls her eyes and scoffs.

"Ugh, Georgia? Is this that stupid Neo-Nazi rally you won't shut up about?" asked Luna.

Todd sighs and stood up.

"Why don't you come with me?" he asked.

Luna tilts her head at him.

"Uh, One: My kids are here and I don't want to abandon them. Two: I don't believe in all that Nazi shit you preach" Luna said coldly.

Todd begins to laugh. Hard. Luna's face got tight and warm, silent anger washing over her.

"I'll believe the second part-I know you aren't in the right mind as a white American like me!" Todd starts. "But that first one...you expect me to believe you love those kids?"

Luna is quiet.

"You brought Mr. Big-And- Bad-Skinhead into your home after a random night of Crank-N-Wank and now you have standards?" Todd jokes.

"That's enough…" Luna said.

Todd stops. He realize the joke may have hurt her.

"Babe-" he starts with a chuckle. "Come on-I was just joking. You know I didn't-"

"Just go to your rally. I need the space anyway…" Luna said, upset with him.

He walks to the door and out the room and out of the apartment. She sits at the foot of the bed and looks down, wondering how this entire thing was going to play out. The thoughts of guilt-even after that talk with Todd, never left. She was conflicted. The feeling weighed heavier as she sat and thought about it and the fact she even felt that way made tears falls from her face. Shame filled her soul. She homes off the bed and walks over to a shoe box that lines the walls. She digs in and pulls out so relief: Gold Geese vodka and a few xans. She had to meet with her family, which was already stressing and null herself to her guilt. She quickly pops the xan, takes a big gulp of vodka, gets dressed and walks out of the apartment, making her way back to the place she used to call home.

* * *

"I'm going to tell her…" Luan said as she paced in the dining room.

Rita was sitting at the table with her laptop out, paying off a few bills as Luan stresses herself. Luan took the day off of work to see the girls, mainly Liby. Ever since the other day, she was somewhat convinced that she helped her daughter shop in her store. Last night, when she got the call from Lucy that they had to see their mother today about the girls, it only proved that she have indeed met her daughter yesterday. She has slept all night, the feeling of reuniting with Liby filling her with happiness, worry, panic, horror, sadness and relief. She was a walking idol of tight nerves and misery. Rita tries her best to console her daughter, but she know it's not that easy. However, she wants her to be calm since the kids are waking up and the last thing she wants is for them to ask unwanted questions.

Luan keeps walking back and forth, holding her sides before her mother has just had enough. She tells Luan to relax and sit down at the table. She did as she was told. For a moment, she was calm. But then Luan starts to sigh heavily. Rita looks to her.

"You okay, sweetie?" asked Rita.

"It's Luna…" started Luan. "She pisses me off."

Rita shoots Luan a look. Luan groans. "She TICKS me off…" she corrected.

Rita sighs. "You two still haven't made peace?" she asked, the sounds of typing filling the dead air.

"Are any of us at peace with her?" asked Luan as she hugs herself.

Rita looks to her and stops typing. "I suppose not.." Rita said.

"She's a horrible person. An awful sister and a crappy mother…" Luan said before looking down. "At least...she can call herself a mother."

"She made her choice just like you, Luan" Rita said, clearly upset about it. "After all the warnings and after all the bitterness that plagued our house, you did what everyone else did and now look where we're at."

Luan knew she was right, but didn't want to look at her and give her the victory.

"I should have changed my mind...I-I have a second chance and-" Luan started.

"I'm going to have to stop you there, dear…" said Rita. "We're inviting them to stay as guest, not tell them everything."

"B-But...why?" asked Luan.

"There's no telling how damaged those kids are. We have to ease into this...if not, we can really destroy them…"Rita said. "They had no one but themselves most of their lives. They don't know anything else...and it's best we keep thing from knowing anything else…"

"Yep" said a older voice from the living room. "Let's put another brick into the wall of the House of Lies…" It was Lynn Sr, bright and early to watch the news.

The two women ignored this and looked at one another. Luan looks at her phone, seeing the time and noting Lyra would be here soon enough.

"When is Lynn and Lucy coming?" asked Rita as she returns her attention to the laptop.

"In a bit" said Luan. "Lynn most likely had to pick up Lucy because she had to sell her car…"

Rita hangs her head and props it up with her hand, expression ringing disbelief. "That book series really ruined her, huh?" Rita asked.

"So bad, her publisher dropped her…" Luan said, sad for her sisters folly. "Which is terrible. She's a amazing writer. She'd sell millions if she just right something original. She keeps saying her company wanted her to push toward teen romance instead of something she wanted to do…"

"If she can't follow instructions in a job, you get fired-tell her to go back to school and learn a damn trade" Lynn Sr snapped from the living room.

"Lynn….be nice…" Rita asked, not moving her eyes from the laptop screen.

Lynn Sr only grunts.

"Your father is right, though," Rita said and looked at Luan over the top of her reading glasses; Luan stood in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips and her head hung in thought. "Lucy _should_ go back to school. Writers don't make very much unless they're Stephen King or James Patterson." She hesitated and glanced at the computer screen, the soft electric glow bathing her face a ghostly blue. What writers do and do not make frankly didn't concern her, but she'd rather talk about that than the...situation. She'd rather think about it too, or anything else for that matter, but since yesterday afternoon, Lupa, Liby, and Lacy had been nesting in her mind like three rats in fuzzy pink insulation.

To be quite honest, she was afraid...and ashamed; ashamed because of who they were, and ashamed because of what happened to them.

Of the part she played in it.

She pursed her lips and looked at Luan again; the girl's lank bangs hung her in her eyes, and now she chewed her thumbnail, a nervous tick she'd had since she was a little girl. The poor thing was beside herself right now, and Rita understood why - she loved her children dearly, despite their many, many horrible choices, and if she were in her daughter's shoes, she'd feel the same way. "We can't tell them, dear," she said, softening her tone. "Not right now, at any rate."

Luan took her thumb away from her mouth and sighed. "Fine," she said, and blinked rapidly as if against tears. "I won't say anything." She looked up, and Rita saw something in her eyes that she didn't like: Determination. "For now. When it's all said and done, I'm taking my daughter back."

"That'll be a mistake," Lynn Sr called from the living room. When Rita agreed to take the girls in, he was resistant, but eventually threw his hands up. He vowed to have nothing to do with the matter, but set up three cots in the garage at her insistence. _At least that way they'll be out of my hair._ "Bringing them here is a mistake too, but you goddamn women just _love_ making mistakes." There was a note of bitterness in his voice. "If you were smart you'd send them away."

Luan's jaw clenched and her face flushed red. "Giving her up in the first place was a mistake," she said tightly.

"Letting yourself get pregnant with her was a mistake," he replied sharply, "and who you got pregnant _by_. I told you and told you and told you, but you didn't listen. You're too goddamn hard-headed just like the rest of them. You made mistake after mistake now you're gonna make another."

Luan's eyes flashed, and Rita opened her mouth to calm her, but she whipped around, her body bending forward at the waist. "I'M NOT GIVING MY DAUGHTER UP AGAIN!" she shrieked. Rita threw up her hands with a long-suffering sigh. Sometimes you just have to let things happen.

"Do what you want, but don't come crying to me when it blows up in your face like everything else."

Swiping her bangs angrily away from her face, Luan spun on Rita. "I'm not giving her up, Mom. You can sit here and quake in terror all you want, but I'm going to eventually tell her. If you don't want any part of her, fine, I'll leave. You can have Luna, you can have Lori, you can have that -" she stabbed her finger toward the living room "-asshole. I dont _give_ a shit anymore. Do you know how much this has fucking hurt me? You think I just fucking moved on? It's like a knife in my heart every single day and has been for ten years."

Rita couldn't meet her daughter's eyes as she replied. "I know, honey, I know. I'm not saying you shouldn't, just...not right now. We have to ease into it. You don't want to hurt Liby, do you?"

Luan vehemently shook her head.

"Then this is what you have to do. It might hurt you, but sometimes the right thing is painful."

She knew that from personal experience.

She knew it all too well.

Luan sighed deeply and nodded. "Okay."

Rita smiled wanly...then frowned when the front door opened and closed. It was either Lynn, Lucy, or -

"Hey, bro," Luna slurred. "Your favorite sister's here."

Rita sighed.

She sounded drunk.

Already.

"Get off of me," Lynn snapped. Rita could visualize Luna bending over his armchair from behind and hugging his shoulders with all the affection of an eel. Of all her daughters, Luna had made the worst choices, and unlike the others, who at least felt shame, she reveled in them like a pig in mud.

She cackled harshly. "What's the matter, brother? Not happen to see your little sis?" She just loved pushing her father's buttons, and always had, Rita's too. Once upon it time she did it by sneaking out, drinking, and smoking cigarettes, now she did it by mocking their "arrangement." Rita loved her, but she endlessly tried her patience...to the point that she didn't even want her around half the time.

Still laughing, she sauntered into the kitchen, a smug little grin on her drawn face. Years of drug abuse had taken its toll - her skin was sallow, her cheeks sunken, dark bags under her light bloodshot eyes. She leaned against the frame, crossed her arms, and looked from Rita to Luan - Luan turned away and went to the coffee pot, either suddenly liking coffee now or wanting an excuse to not look at the wretched thing she called a sister. A shit mother. But a mother unlike her.

"Hey, guys," Luna drew.

"Hello, honey," Rita said and looked at the computer screen. "How are you?"

Luna shrugged and rubbed her arms as though she were cold. Rita didn't have to look to know they were covered in scabs, sores, and tracks. "Doin alright. Had company last night."

Rita nodded slowly. "Are they here?"

"Nah," Luna said and walked over to the table, slapping it with both hands and making it shake. She dropped into a chair and sat with her legs spread wide - she was wearing a skirt but no underwear, Rita saw. "Mother Teresa's bringin 'em over," she said, and a pang of dread - and hope - rippled through Rita's stomach.

"How are they?" she asked curiously, and felt a rush of shame at having to ask someone else what her own granddaughters were like.

Luna shrugged. "They seem like good kids," she said, her voice earnest. She grinned, a schizophrenic mixture of warmth and derison. "Lucy's daughter's a tough one. Or acts like she is. What is she, twelve? I don't care how tough you are at twelve, it's not very tough." She reached across the table, grabbed Rita's coffee mug, and took a drink. At the counter, Luan pored her own cup, her head turned slightly to one side as she listened. "Lynn's acts just like her. Swaggin around like she's the best." She looked pointedly at Luan's back, a crooked smile overtaking her face "And Liby's just the _cutest_ thing ever. She's like a little mouse."

Luan's shoulders tensed at the mocking edge in Luna's voice. They were always at each other's throats even when they were "at peace." Rita had her suspicions why.

"Good kids," Luna said more to herself than anyone else, "good kids." She looked up at Rita and furrowed her brows. "What's the plan? You guys gonna tell them?"

"No," Rita said, "not right now. It would be best if we don't spring it on them. They've been through a lot as it is -"

Luna snorted. "Yeah, they have. Group homes, no one but each other...kind of fucked up, if you ask me."

The atmosphere grew suddenly oppressive, and at the counter, Luan drew a deep, angry breath.

"Well, that's going to change," Rita blurted, more to head off an argument between the two girls than anything else. "We just need to...see where things go before we do anything. When will they be here?"

Luna shrugged. "I dunno. They were taking turns in the shower when I left. Half hour, maybe. Something like that. You got anything to eat? I'm starving."

A half an hour until she met her granddaughters...until she saw them for the first time in more than a decade. Nerves clutched Rita's stomach and her heart missed a beat. Would she be able to look them in the eye? To smile and play the part of concerned adult after what she did?

She didn't know.

She just didn't.

"There're apples on the counter," she said and focused on the screen before her.

Luna got up and crossed to the counter - a wire basket filled with green apples sat next to the coffee pot. She grabbed one and laid her hand on Luan's shoulder, squeezing. "Can't say hey?" Luna asked and took a crisp bite, droplets of juice splattering the side of Luan's face. Luan gritted her teeth and looked away. She hated what Luna had become, the drugs, the booze, the endless stream of men...hated what she did to her kids.

She also envied her.

Sometimes so much it made her sick. She had her children...she could kiss them goodnight and tuck them in, she could cuddle them and hold their hand and be the mother that Luan couldn't.

But she didn't.

She took them for granted and treated them like shit.

She didn't realize how lucky she was.

Which made Luan hate her.

"Hey," she said.

Luna turned and leaned against the edge of the countertop. Rita watched warily from the table, waiting for the storm to break. "You don't sound too happy to see me," Luna said and took another bite.

"I have a lot on my mind," Luan said.

Luna laughed. See, Luan acted like she was better than her; she sat on her high horse and looked down her nose; when they spoke, her voice was chilly, and when they were in the same room, the disdain wafted from her in choking waves. "I would too," she said now, and couldn't resist adding, "if I was in your shoes...but I'm not."

Luan's hand fisted on the counter, and Luna grinned. _Getting to you, sis?_ Luna took another bite of the apple. "Why don't you go shoot up?" Luan sneered.

"That's not a bad idea," Luna said. She pushed away from the counter, dropped the apple into the trash, and started to leave, but stopped and leaned into Luan's ear. "Before I left," she whispered menacingly, "I hugged your daughter. When's the last time _you_ did that?"

Luan's body went rigid and her heart came to a halt in her chest. Luna grinned, patted her shoulder, and left.

Propping her elbows on the counter, Luan buried her face in her hands and broke down.

 _Too long,_ she thought, _too long._

Rita couldn't find the words. She just resume paying bills, sharing in her daughter's pain from an opposite end. Lynn Sr, as cold as he has become, still loved his kids. He was ashamed and angry at what they have done to themselves, but he still loved them. Hearing his daughter in this much pain was too much. However, what could he really say. He simply sighed and turned the volume of the television up.

* * *

In the soft, dreary light of a wet morning, rain slucing down the window pane in silvery trails, Leia sat on the edge of her sister's bed and watched Lizy sleep; she was a small shape beneath the blue comforter, the side of her face resting against the pillow and her features obscured by her messy blonde hair. A gentle smile played at the corners of Leia's mouth, and she reached out, laying her hand on Lizy's hip and brushing her thumb affectionately over the outline of her leg. Sometimes, like now, she simply sat with the little girl, watching over her like a guardian angel and giving her the love she couldn't during the day, when school and other things got in the way. Her parents, even her mother, didn't give Lizy the warmth she deserved, so Leia long ago took it upon herself to give what she could and where.

Presently, she drew a deep sigh and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was almost time to start getting ready. Would she see Lemy today? She wanted to talk to him about those girls from yesterday, the ones who stayed with him. Something seemed...off about them and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Maybe it was their story - three kids out 'searching' for their family. It was more likely they were runaways. God, what if they were dangerous? What if they robbed Lemy blind or even hurt him? That girl with the white hair _really_ rubbed Leia wrong...she could easily see her holding a knife to her cousin's throat, her eyes flat and emotionless as the blade bit into his soft flesh, digging, cutting, rending while her 'sisters' ransacked the place.

She realized that was a little melodramatic, but she still smelled a rat, and when Leia Loud smelled a rat, there was a _always_ a rat nearby.

Another thing that bugged her was how her mother acted when she told her about them. She tensed a little, and Leia could have sworn she went just a little pale.

Why?

She asked herself that question all yesterday evening, stopping only long enough to endure another tense, silent dinner, Dad angrily cutting his steak and shoving it into his mouth, Mom chewing her food as though it had no taste, and Liena pecking here and there like a bird with sad eyes. Loan ate in her room, of course, because Loan never came out. Not that Leia could blame her; she didn't like coming out of her room either. The atmosphere was always so heavy, so stifling - it was like a hateful hand pressing hard against your chest and crushing your lungs.

Her father was extra sour for some reason, his bushy brows knitted in a graying V and the muscles in his neck standing prominently out. Her mother made a point of not looking at him or speaking when he asked her to pass the bread, and when she did, she sat the plate in front of him rather than putting it in his outstretched hand.

They were arguing again. Leia hated it when her parents argued - it made her sick to her stomach, and sleep always came hard. She'd never told anyone this, not even Lemy, but she had a detailed escape plan just in case she and Lizy needed it; imagining dad going crazy and trying to kill all of them was far, far easier than she liked.

After dinner, her mind went back to those girls and stayed there until she fell into a thin and fitful sleep well after midnight.

Who were they?

And why did they bother her so much?

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, and she reached over to grab it, being careful not to wake Lizy. When she saw a text from her aunt Lola, her gloomy face lit up, like the sun cresting over dark clouds, and her lips turned up in a happy smile.

 _Hey kiddo we still on for later?_

She fired off a response and hit SEND. _Yep_ followed by a smiley face.

She and Lola were very close and always had been - she was more of a big sister than an aunt. They did things together, talked, shared secrets, and were almost like best friends. Leia really looked up to her aunt and wanted to be just like her one day.

 _Great. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you._

Today, she and Lola were going to the mall, mainly to spend time together but also to pick up a birthday present for Lizy.

 _Me too._

Leia felt comfortable with Lola, at ease in a way that she didn't feel with even Liena. She and Lola were alike in many ways, and talking to her came naturally. And while Leia didn't want anyone to know she had a soft side...Lola gave the best hugs. She didn't know why; they were just warmer than anyone else's, and made her feel better.

 _Gtg. Talk later hun._

 _Kk._

Leia checked the time then laid the phone on the nightstand with a hollow clunk. With one last glance at Lizy, she got to her feet and went to the closet; murky gray light painted the walls the color of ash, and deep shadows nestled in the corners; she knew it was stupid, but she was a _little_ afraid to turn and face them head on lest she see phantom faces staring back at her, waiting, glaring, _hungry._

A shiver raced down her spine and she hesitated in front of the closed door, her heartbeat picking up. There was nothing on the other side, crouching and grinning with cannibal malevolence. She knew that, but for a moment she could almost imagine there was.

Shaking her head, she opened the door, and found only her clothes hanging from the rod, shirts, skirts, and dresses for every occasion, most of them courtesy of Aunt Lola. _A good aunt spoils her nieces_ , she said once, but as far as Leia could tell, she was the only niece that logic applied to. Lizy too, to a lesser extent, but only after Leia yelled at Lola once for constantly bringing her "surprises" but not Lizy.

She selected one of her uniforms, folded it over her arm, then shut the door and crossed to her bed, where she laid it out. At her dresser, she took a pair of underwear and a pair of socks from the top drawer, tossed them on top of the uniform, then went to Lizy's dresser. Every morning, she picked out her little sister's clothes - it wasn't something she had to do, she did it because she wanted to. Was it going to be really cold today? She couldn't remember - it was raining, though, so probably. She grabbed a white undershirt and a fuzzy purple and white striped sweater, then jeans, then sat them on top of the dresser where Lizy couldn't miss them.

Next, she pulled her nightgown over her head and tossed it into the hamper next to the door. Naked, she crossed to the bed, grabbed her underwear, and pulled them on. She sat, yanked her socks over her feet, then dressed in her uniform. Going through the motions as she would any day. She then makes her way to the door, going to brush her teeth before Lyra gets there.

She steps into the hall and hears...weeping. And hushing. Leia paused for a moment, listening to the house. She knows it's coming from downstairs. Curious, she tiptoes to the top step, hiding the darkness of the hallway and propping herself against the the top post of the railing. She listens in.

"...Seems like today will be another stormy day-expect heavy showers and possible thunderstorms for Oakland County and its neighbors for the next few days, folks."

That was Vic Peterson. He was the weather man on the local new station. Dad must be watching television. Not that uncommon. Hearing the report made Leia worry about Lizy's birthday. If the weatherman was right, it'll have to be an indoor party. Knowing how strange her family acted when they are all clumped up, things are bound to get too tight and awkward. Hopefully, things will be somewhat normal and Lizy can enjoy herself.

She resumes listening. The light sounds of clicking was heard. Mom must be on her computer-either looking up a recipe or paying bills. But there's something else: that soft sobbing. Who else was down there? As Leia leans in with her ear pointed below, hoping to sample the voice to get an idea who was down there without revealing herself, a light creaking is heard to her right.

Leia turns her head to see a sight: her eldest sister Loan. The twenty-one year old yawned softly, rubbing her eyes while trying to settle to the normal temperature of the house that wasn't connected with her own frigid room. Her hair was a mess. She looked like she hasn't slept in days. Loan, in her daze, turns to see Leia at the top step in the darkness. The woman smiled at her little sister. Leia, not wanting to be rude, smiled back at her. Leia could say she loved Loan, but she could also say that she found the woman strange. She was jitterity. Easily spooked. Paranoid. Awkward as can be. Loan was a textbook of Leia wondered how they were related. The girl always acted like she was a war victim-acting spertatically like a scared small dog. She never understood it, but hey-that's Loan.

Loan was in her night attire. Large black t-shirt with some Japanese letters on the bust. Baggy red plaid sleep pants. Wooly black socks. She has had that on for a couple of days. She smelt like stale artificial flavoring. Leia just sighed as the woman walked over to her. Loan crotched down next to her.

"How are you this morning, sis?" asked the tired Loan.

"I'm fine" Leia answered quickly, ear still pointed below.

"Eavesdropping" Leia said. "Trying to see who's downstairs-"

"Aunt Luan" Loan said.

Leia's eyes bucked.

"How did you-" Leia started.

"Because I heard her yell at dad earlier. I couldn't hear what she said, but I recognized her voice" Loan said before yawning into her hand. She smacks her lips and scratches her butt. "In fact, I think Aunt Luna was here a one point."

"Really?" Leia asked as her head perked up. "Did you hear Lemy?"

Loan shook her head.

"Nope-sound like just her" Loan said.

Leia sighed.

"Shouldn't you be going to school?" asked Loan.

Leia shoots her sister a smug look. "Shouldn't you be in college somewhere?" asked Leia.

Loan snickered. "A-A-And be around a-all those p-p-people? J-Jocks and the s-s-sloots? A-And talking to them?" Loan asked as she starts to sweat and chuckles nervously.

Leia shook her head. "Relax-I was kidding" she said.

Loan exhaled. "Thank God…" Loan said with a sigh of relief. She gets from the ground and walks to her door. "Have a nice day at school, okay?"

"Yeah, okay" Leia said.

"Oh…" said Loan before she shut her door. Leia looks at her sister. Loan's face brighten. "H-Have you heard from Auntie Lori? S-She said she'd call me soon...a-about hanging out and stuff.."

Leia never understood it, but Loan ADORED Auntie Lori. Nearly worshipped the ground she walked on. Lori wasn't a vain or rude and seemed to do well for herself. She always seemed to have money and usually spent it on herself and giving Loan things. Even made hints she'd be buying Loan her own car for her birthday in a few months. The reason Leia found it strange is the fact the two were polar opposites. Auntie Lori was bold, confident, and well-rounded. Loan was a cage of rattled nerves. Leia always found Lori's devotion to Lori just strange.

However, Leia had to give her some kind of answer.

"I haven't…" Leia said softly.

Loan's face faded to a frown. Then she gives a very nervous smile, trying to hide her disappointment.

"O-Oh.." Loan said with a nervous laugh. "I-I get it. You know A-Auntie Lori-super busy. And important and awesome. S-She'll get to me sooner or later...I hope..I-I mean, I guess.."

Loan shuts the door and locks it. Leia couldn't help but feel a bit bad for Loan. She really wants her aunt's approval. Over her own parents. It's kind of upsetting. As she thought on it, another door opened. It was Liena coming out of her room. Leia knew at that point Lyra is minutes away from the house. The two make their walk down the stairs. As they do, the typing and the sobbing stopped. Leia stands with Liena and looks their Aunt Luan and their mother. Their mother looked pale and aunt had the saddest, reddest eyes. Liena was lost of words.

"Uh...good morning?" Leia said to the two.

Luan sniffles and put on a fake smile.

"H-Hey, Leia...how are you?" Luan asked.

Leia walks over and looks at her aunt with worry.

"Why are you crying, Auntie Luan?" asked Leia.

Luan balled her lips. Rita opened her mouth but is stopped.

"She's upset some stupid man she's been seeing won't call her back" Lynn Sr said. Rita's mouth dropped and Luan looked surprised. "Tried telling her she's pretty enough and don't need someone like that anyway."

"Oh…" Leia said. She turns to her aunt. "I'm sorry to hear that, auntie."

Luan rolls with it. "O-Oh, it's fine…" Luan said. She looks over to where her father was sitting and just thought how kind he was for that. Even after all this time, he's still covering for her. It made her feel good...and horrible at the same time.

There is a honk outside. All three adults in the room tensed up slightly. Liena points to the door as Leia examines everyone else in the room. "Uh, I guess I'll see you all later?" Leia said as she and Liena make their way for the door. The three grown ups said their goodbyes and two youths walked outside. Leia wasn't buying it. Something about her father's comment seemed wrong. But she wasn't too worried. She stared at car and walked to the door, only for it to pen it.

Out hopped Lemy. Leia smile brightly.

"Hey, Lem-" he started. She paused.

Coming out of the car, where...them. Lupa, Lacy and Liby filed out of the car. Leia crossed her arms. She was annoyed to see these people hanging around. Lemy flashed a nervous smile toward Leia. Leia looked at at Lemy and then back at the trio; focusing her venom on Lupa.

"What are they doing here…?" Leia asked Lemy harshly while not breaking her gaze at Lupa.

"Uh..m-mom said Aunt Rita is gonna watch over them for a while-" Lemy started.

"So, they're staying here-" Leia started.

"For a little while, Princess…" Lupa snapped back.

Liena sensed the negative element of the conversation and quietly walks to the car and hops in the passenger seat. Lemy just stood there and nervously scratched his head. Leia smirked.

"I suppose even EBT babies deserve a sample of stable life.." Leia snark.

Liby frowned. Lacy's face flushed as she stared at Leia, her temperature checked.

"What did ya say, kid?" Lacy said angrily.

Leia scoffs. "You heard me, you large piece of trash" leia said with a giggle.

"Rather be a piece of trash…" Lacy said before moving closer to Leia. "...than a little shit…"

Leia stood her ground.

"Please" Leia said as she rolled her eyes. "No one is afraid of you, second stringer."

Lacy's face gets red and her nostrils flared. Lacy hated being seen as lesser. She was a star in the making. A leader. The big deal. Anything less was merely blasphemy. Before Lacy could ball her fist up and deck Leia in the mouth, Lupa lits a cig and sighs.

"Hey, Princess.." Lupa said.

Lacy easede up and Leia looks to Lupa with an eyebrow raised. "What?" she snapped.

"I get you're snobby and think you're better than us or whatever because you go to some fancy school-I can tell from your uniform…" Lupa says as she points at Leia's clothes. She ashes her cig. "But I feel like you don't get the hook to what you're saying."

Leia stares at her confused.

"You call us ghetto trash?" Lupa asked.

"Yes" Leia said without a second thought.

"Hoodlums?" Lupa asked.

"Yes-indeed" Leia said with a large smile.

"Thugs with nothing to lose?" Lupa asked.

"Without. A. Doubt…" leia said coldly.

Lupa moves up on Leia, who slowly starts to shake a bit.

"So, little girl…" started Lupa as she takes a drag of her cig. "Why on earth would you talk down to some trashy, ghetto hoodlums with nothing to lose as if we would react like trashy, ghetto hoodlums with nothing to lose? For example, you talk down to us. I could lose it and...well, let's say punch you in the face so hard, it's caves in, disfigures you and leaves you in a coma. Once I get out of the pen, hopefully you'll be out of your coma and had plastic surgery. Then...I'll find you...and do it all over again…"

Leia gasp and turned pale. The fact this girl said is so calmly with no expression on her face frightened her. She sounded like she did something like that before. As cartoony as the violence sounded, Leia didn't feel like risking it.

"...Now...where's Ms. Rita?" asked Lupa coldly.

Leia with a shaking hand pointed to the house. Lupa turns to Lemy.

"Hey" she says. Lemy stands at attention, nervous. "I'll catch you later, okay?"

"Ohy, uh, o-okay…" said Lemy with a goofy smile.

Lupa walks to the door with her sisters behind her. Leia said nothing else and slowly walk to the car and gets in. The awestruck Lemy hops in after her. Lupa didn't even bother knocking on the door. She simply opens the door and the three walk in. They take a few steps and stop. Lupa could feel the tense atmosphere. Lynn Sr stared at the television, unmoving. To her right, Luan and Rita stare at them. Rita puts on a convincing. Luan however, looks at Liby and shakes almost uncontrollably.

The three children and two adults faced each other for a long, silent moment like two opposing gangs of outlaws on the dusty street of an Old West village, Luan trembling and Rita's smile widening as she desperately tried to come up with something to say. She had spent most of the morning preparing herself to meet her granddaughters, but actually seeing them in front of her, so close she could reach out and touch them, she was lost, her eyes darting from one to the next and back again. The first thing she noticed about them was were their eyes.

They looked so sad.

Rita's vision suddenly blurred, and the urge to go to them and take them in her arms, to hold each one to her breast and smother them with kisses came over her so strong her knees twitched. Liby smiled faintly when she first saw Luan, but her lips dropped into a worried frown when the older woman didn't speak. Lacy's shoulders tensed, and Lupa's jaw clenched ever so slightly, reminding Rita of a pugilist bracing for the coming of his opponent.

She had known this entire time that her granddaughters were out there somewhere, were probably suffering in some capacity, but she long ago shoved that dreadful knowledge to the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. Staring at them now, tracing their faces, seeing her daughters in their features, it all came back to her like a knife in the guts, and something burst in her chest like a dam, emotions flooding through her, a tidal wave of death sweeping away everything in its path. She couldn't name them all, but chief among them, like oil black across the surface, was regret. In an instant, taking them in for the first time, she regretted everything with a deep, kneading edge that nearly made her double over.

Lupa's brow angled down and Liby's hand crept into Lacy's.

They were damaged.

Maybe no one else could see it...but Rita could - she raised eleven children and four grandchildren. The little girls, for that's what they were, standing in front of her now were damaged: Hurt, guarded, afraid, battered by whatever happened to them out there. She could see it as clearly as she could see the nose on the end of her face, and it brought her so close to breaking down that the simple act of speaking would be enough to drive her over the edge.

 _Poor babies,_ she thought and choked back tears. _Poor, precious babies._

Across the room, Lupa anxiously bit the inside of her bottom lip and balled her fists in her hoodie front pocket. She knew coming through the door that it would be awkward - she didn't know these people and grown ups had never done anything but hurt her and her sisters - and she was ready for that, but this was different. The atmosphere was heavy and crackled the way it did before an electrical storm. The fat blonde, whom Lupa took to be Rita, stared at her with something like horror, and the other one looked scared; Lupa knew she, Lacy, and Liby looked rough, but come on, lady, close your mouth before you catch a fly.

She glanced at the man in the armchair and could have sworn he was looking at her from the corner of his eye.

When the older woman finally spoke, there was a tremor in her voice, almost like she was close to tears. "Hi," she said, "I'm Rita and this is my d - sister-in-law, Luan."

Lupa caught the way she stumbled over her words, and her hackles raised; she didn't like it when people did that, because when they did it meant they were lying or hiding something.

Flashing a quick smile, Luan looked directly at Liby. "H-Hi, sweetie, do you r-remember me?"

Remember me? Lupa darted a suspect look at her older sister - a small but genuine smile touched Liby's lips and she nodded egarely. "You're Ms. Luan," she said with childlike frankness.

Luan nodded and smiled again - it was even faker than the first, and when she took a tentative step forward, Lupa tensed, ready to spring at her if she tried anything. Luan seemed to sense this and hesitated, looking at Lupa, then at Lacy, the latter just as defensive as Lupa. Rita looked from her sister-in-law to Lupa, then back again. "L-Luna says you're searching for your family?"

"Yeah," Lupa said guardedly.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here, and we'll be glad to help in any way we can," Rita said and looked at Luan, who watched Liby like a dog gazing through a butcher shop window. She started to speak, then stopped. "T-That's Lynn," she said and nodded toward the man.

Lynn threw a quick and perfunctory glance over his shoulder. "Hi," he said with a curt nod. In an instant, Lupa knew that he didn't want them there. She didn't want to be here either, but right now, she and her sisters had no choice. Unfortunately. She took a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly. Could they trust these people, though?

"We don't have very much room," Rita explained, "but Lynn did set up some cots in the garage. It's not much, but its dry and warm a-and you'll be safe there."

 _Will we?_ Lupa asked.

And hated that she didn't know.

* * *

Lucy Loud sat on the plush window seat and stared through the rain-slicked glass at the park across the street; swings moved back and forth in the wind, as though dead children had come out to play in the absence of living ones, and an old woman with an umbrella over her head shuffled along a concrete walkway. Closer, rain hissed on the ashapult, and rivers rushed along the gutters, sweeping twigs, leaves, and bits of liter into yawning storm drains. She was reminded of the movie _IT_ , where the little boy's paper boat sails into one; luckily, a very nice clown who lives in the sewer retrieves it for him.

Then rips his arm off when he reaches for it.

Thinking of that scene always brought a morbid smile to Lucy's face, but not today. Today was different. Today...or maybe tomorrow...she was going to meet her daughter.

Everyone who knew Lucy thought she was emotionless, and maybe to a degree she was; right now, though, she felt _plenty_ of emotions.

And the biggest one was fear.

H. P. Lovecraft, one of her favorite authors, once wrote: The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. She'd always understood that to be true on an intellectual level, but she'd never felt the overwhelming terror of the unknown that Lovecraft was hinting at.

She did now, though, and it was like a thousand tiny claws digging at the lining of her stomach.

Lupa.

How many times over the years had she found herself silently forming that single word with her lips? How many times had she sat right here in the window with her laptop, telling herself that she simply wanted to be in the sun while she wrote but spending more time looking at happy children and their loving parents than at the screen? How many times had she watched a little girl fall from the monkey bars and skin her knee...then watched her mother come over, kneel down, and take her in her arms? And how many times did she catch herself thinking _that could have been me?_ More than she liked to count. Giving up her daughter was the hardest decision that she had ever made in her life, and there were days when the wall she put up crumbled, and all of the remorse came spilling out like black sludge, filling her, drowning her.

Now, Lupa had come back into her life through some freak accident, and Lucy was so scared of her little girl that she could barely think, scared of what she would say when she found out, scared of what she would think...and scared of finding out what she'd been through over the past years. While she, Lucy, wrote for magazines and newspapers, clawing her way up from the ranks of underpaid freelance writers to the more tenable position of barely-paid freelance writer, while she wrote horror novels in her spare time, and while she landed a publishing contract, replete with release parties, signings, and local radio appearances, Lupa was out there in the ether, a phantom that Lucy tried but failed to forget. How kind had life been to her? Not very, Lucy imagined, and always had; she pushed that away and went through her days as though Lupa didn't even exist.

She chuckled humorlessly when she realized that while she'd been writing about monsters for the past ten years, searching for them under beds and in moon-cast cemeteries, she was the real one all along.

This was a chance, she thought, one of those rare opportunities that life gives you to atone, to make some horrible transgression right, on;y she wasn't sure she deserved it. What kind of mother could _she_ make? She was a selfish bitch - she was the last creature on earth who deserved what she saw in that park day in and day out.

Absently, she lifted a mug of lukewarm coffee to her lips and drank; it had no taste, no texture, it simply _was._

Aside from not being mother material, she was in dire straits. Her debut novel sold much, much more poorly than expected, and was panned by every single newspaper and magazine that reviewed it. Her editor rejected the next manuscript she sent him and told her flat out that the publisher didn't want anything to do with her. She had very little money and had to sell her car just to make the rent on her apartment - a luxury in a fashionable part of town. She had thirty days to come up with 2,500 dollars, and another 500 if she wanted to keep utilities; if she didn't, she wouldn't even have a place to live.

She was a failure as a writer _and_ as a human being.

Then Lupa comes back...and when she called Lupa's father out west, she got no answer because of course she didn't; when she needed him, he wasn't there. Typical.

Lucy wanted her daughter, God, she did, but could she do it? Could she love and provide for someone else? Her daughter deserved the best anyone could offer her, especially after what her so-called mother had done to her, but Lucy couldn't give it. She was like a little girl who saw a cute puppy in a pet store window; she wanted it, maybe even bought it, but couldn't care for it. It wound up in a cage in a corner, sitting in piss soaked newspaper and whimpering for even the slightest token of affection...hurting, alone, its eyes sad and pleading.

That image struck Lucy hard, and the mug dropped from her hand, landing on the floor, dark liquid soaking into creme colored carpet as bitter, stinging tears soaked into pale skin.

Ten miles away, Lynn Loud Jr., clad in white running shoes, red sweat pants, and a white tank top, grimaced in pain as she stepped into the teacher's lounge off the main office; every time it rained, her knee acted up, and sometimes when it snowed too.

It was early morning and the first wave of students hadn't come in yet - the gleaming tiled halls of Oakland County High stood empty, the sound of your footsteps echoing eerily; if you were nervous, you might think someone was following you. Lynn wasn't nervous, though. 5,8 and 145 pound of lean muscle, she was small but formidable, and had no reason whatsoever to be nervous. She _was_ a little...amped up, though. But just a little.

The lounge was empty save for Principal Rooney, a beefy man with red hair and a thick red mustache - he stood by the Keurig with a mug in his hand. He looked up when she came in, and flashed a polite, professional smile. "Morning, Lynn."

"Morning," she said and went over to the fridge. She opened it, grabbed one of the Gatorades with her name across the front in marker, and twisted the cap off. "I have fifty dollars riding on the game this Friday," he said with a wink, "lead those girls to victory, huh?"

Lynn chuckled sardonically. "I'll try."

Once upon a time, in a life long, long ago, Lynn Loud Jr. was a high school basketball star, the best on her team and, in fact, the best Oakland County had ever seen. She was faster, stronger, and _better_ than everyone else...then she blew out her knee and that was the end of her - no college scholarships, no fame, no fortune. It burned her ass every time she thought about it because she _knew_ she could have gone pro.

Owing to her injury, however, she had to settle for coaching the hometown team she once dominated and watching girls who were nowhere near as good as she was get scouted by the biggest schools in the country. She loved her players, she really did...but there were times she hated them too.

"I have faith in you, Loud," Principal Rooney said, and something about the look in his eyes suggested to Lynn that he didn't - they'd lost the last three games running. Every defeat struck Lynn like a slap to the face, and the burning shame she felt as she strode down the hall the following Monday, chin defiantly up, made her even madder than she already was. She'd already failed enough in her life, and every loss on the court was like dirt in her wounds.

She hated it.

Rooney took his mug, nodded to her, and left. Taking another drink of her Gatorade, Lynn went over to one of the tables and sat, her shoulders, usually broad and proudly squared, were slumped, and worry filled her brown eyes. She lifted her thumb to her mouth and chewed the nail between her teeth, a habit from childhood that came back only in times of great stress.

And if this wasn't a time of great stress, Lynn didn't know what fucking was.

Yesterday, her mother called her.

Lacy, through some fluke, was in town, and Mom wanted her to come to the house to meet her.

Lynn drew a deep breath and let it out through her nose. She made mistakes in her life, just like everyone else - that's not something she confessed easily. Deep in her heart of hearts, she knew she wasn't perfect, knew that she was nothing but a middle aged gym teacher with a bum knee. Her life was a long trail of rues and broken dreams...which is why she never looked in the rearview mirror. What happened between her and Lacy's father - whom she called yesterday but got no answer from - was the biggest regret she had, and she spent the last ten years trying to forget it ever happened. Walking through the front door of her parents' house and looking it literally in the face...seeing it made manifest…

She winced when she bit skin. Taking her thumb away from her mouth, she sighed. _This is your_ daughter, she told herself, _your_ child.

Even so, she didn't think she could handle it - staring into Lacy's eyes and seeing her father, seeing what she and Lacy's father _did_ , a constant reminder of Lynn's weakness not only as a woman but a mother as well…

Hot anger flared in her chest and she balled her fist on the table. She hated what she and Lacy's father did, hated what it did to both her _and_ him, hated that she was too weak to raise her daughter, hated that it bothered her, hated that she hated it. Her lips peeled back from her teeth in a sneer and if she didn't get this aggression out _now_ , she was going to hit the first kid who looked at her wrong.

She pushed roughly back from the table, the metal legs of the chair scraping the tile floor, grabbed her Gatorade, and stalked out. Her stride was brisk, and her ponytail swished like an angry tail as she passed the glass trophy case, her watery reflection skimming the surface like a distant memory: Five of those trophies came from her, and if you looked into a dusty corner, nearly hidden by the championships around it, you would see a framed photo of a much younger Lynn Loud, clad in blue shorts and a blue jersey, her knees bent, a ball in her hands, and a self-satisfied smile on her lips. _I'm going places,_ the light in her eyes said.

But she never did.

She was trapped.

With her regrets.

And now...apparently her daughter, too.

* * *

3:15 PM. School has ended and children make their way home, rather it be on the outdated and unsafe school buses or by walking. Leia walks besides her friend Gwen, who was venting about the mundane annoyances of the day. Gwan went on and on as the girls went on their walk. From that boy from the lacrosse team who sent her a passive-aggressive love letter to some girl getting beaten up in the lunchroom so bad, her tampon rolled out of her. None of the colorful chatter Gwen spewed caught too much of Leia's attention. Leia's mind was once again clogged with various thoughts. Mainly the thoughts about...those girls.

Of all places, why did her mom say they could stay there? Gutter trash out of nowhere appearing here of all places? And her mother allowing them to stay at their house? Not to mention it was Auntie Luna's idea? Of all people-AUNTIE LUNA?! The most untrustworthy person in the entire family? The one dad hides his retirement check from every month? The one who stole her bike when she was four years old for a quick pawn? The one who tried to bribe Loan into peeing in cups to sell? That doesn't seem like the kind of person to trust. Yet, her mother is okay with that.

Not to mention how cold Lupa's threat was.

Leia growls to herself. She couldn't wait to tell Auntie Lola. She seemed to be the only member in this wild family who understood her. Leia walked with Gwen for a while before Gwen stopped talking and walked in a different direction. Leia was so trapped in thought and was on autopilot, she didn't even noticed that Gwen was gone. She was making a straight line for Auntie Lola's job. Auntir Lola worked for a modeling agency downtown. As Leia walks down the sidewalk, she pulls out her phone to text her aunt.

 _On my way._

She puts her phone away. She walks in the rain for a while -

*Vrrrr!*

Her phone vibrated. Leia pulled her phone to noticed there was a text. From Auntie Lola. She opens it.

 _...Are you coming to my job?_

Leia raises an eyebrow and stared at the screen for a moment. She then begins to type.

 _Uh..yeah. Is that okay?_

Before Leia could put the phone away, another text sounds.

 _Where are you?_

Leia looks around and finds a sign. She was on 21st Street. She texted her Auntie Lola. She was told to stand there and not move. This seemed strange but Leia seemed okay with it. She stood in the rain a tad harder as she waited but she didn't really mind. Fifteen minutes later, a sliver hatchback pulls up along the sidewalk. Leia's face lit up. She quickly runs to the passenger side door and opens it. She hops in and stared at the smiling face of her Auntie Lola.

"Auntie!" Leia shouted happily before wrapping her arms around her.

Lola hugs and strokes Leia's hair.

"My little sweetheart, how are you?" Lola asked.

Leia breaks the hug and looks at her aunt. Her smile slowly lifts. Her aunt looked...different. Her aunt usually dressed more lavishly. Flawless jewels hanging from her ears, a beautiful necklace, a pricey outfit with her hair well done. However, she was in a pink hoodie, yoga pants, and some common walking sneakers. Her hair was done into a ponytail. Leia raised and eyebrow but Lola only smiles. As Leia get her seatbelt on, she looks down to see something else off. Food wrappers. Burger wrappers, french fry boxes and many, many chocolate candy bar wrappers. Leia was amazed considering how Aunt Lola wouldn't have anything but a vape in here. Lola starts driving and Leia just rode with her, glad that her aunt was here.

Though the time together was odd.

Lola never pulled out a vape during the car ride to the mall. During their time to the mall, Leia thought they were going to the high end shops like Gucci or Fendi or Versace. However, Lola took Leia to a few minor stores like Rainbow and Clare's. Nothing too extreme and aunt wasn't spending too much money. Leia figured she was going through hard times and had to sit on her money for a while. However, during their lunch at the food court, Aunt Lola open her pocketbook wide open. At a Big Brother's Burgers at the food court, Leia asked for a salad. Lola bought two large bacon cheeseburgers, three large fries, a large soda, two chicken and bacon wraps and a gyro wrapped in bacon. Leia found that odd considering her aunt was a practicing vegan. It was also strange because Auntie Lola never did fast food. It was always nice sit down restaurants.

Lola was...not herself.

After a few hours, Lola and Leia get back to the car. Leia gets in her seat and Lola in hers. Lola looks to Leia and pauses. The girl looked sad. Disappointed. Lola was unsure why.

"Hey, dear…" Lola asked. "What's wrong?"

"You...have been acting really different.." Leia said. "Why? Why you dressed like that? W-When did you start eating meat?"

Lola looks to Leia with a sigh.

"Okay….I wanted to wait for a while but I guess now is okay, I suppose…." Lola said. She rest her hands on the steering wheel and tighten her grip on it. She takes a long controlled breathe and looks to her niece. "I'm pregnant.."

Leia teased up and her expression shook for a second. Pregnant? But...why? How can see be pregnant? Wasn't see enough?

"Oh…" Leia said in a somber manner, faking a smile with a dry chuckle. "T-That's great, auntie…"

Lola sighs and shakes her head. "I knew you'd be disappointed…" Lola said with a quake in her voice.

Leia snaps back to her senses. "N-No, no..it's not that…" Leia said. "I just ...don't know what to say…" Leia stares at the woman for a moment. "Who's...the father?"

Lola looks at Leia, not answering. Leia stared into her aunt's eyes and knew it to be so-she didn't know who the father was.

Lola laughs, realizing her niece was aware that the father is a mystery to both of them. "Kinda gross, huh?" Lola joked with a sad chuickle.

Leia shook her head. She just held her arm and sighed. Lola looks around and then back to her niece and puts on a smile.

"Who needs him" Lola said with a laugh.

Leia looks to her, confused.

Lola leans in and wraps her arm around her niece pulling them close cheek-to-cheek.

"Who needs a brewery loser around when I have the most beautiful, the most intelligent, the most perfect niece in the world to help me?" Lola said proudly.

Leia pauses. All that praise. How could she be so rude? It's Auntie Lola, for God sake-she was everything to her. Leia holds on to her aunt.

"Will….will this baby...make it to where we can't hang out anymore, will it?" asked Leia.

"Of course not!" Lola said. She looks into Leia's eyes. "We'll be a team! Just you and me-together. Think of it as another soul to take care of. Like you do Lizy…"

Lizy. That was all the motive Leia needed. Yes, she was unsure about having another young thing to look after and found the father not being around to be weird, but her aunt-the one she treasures-wants _her_ help.

"Okay, Auntie Lola-you can count on me" Leia said with a smile. "Annnnnd...I'll keep them away from the trash-people back at home."

Lola laughs. "Trash-people? What's that?" Lola asked.

"Just some throwaways who wandered into my life-three girls from the slums" Leia said in her best posh voice.

Lola raises an eyebrow.

"Oh?" Lola asked with curiosity.

"Yeah.." Leia said with a chuckle. "They all have funky names too. The head one-the obvious alpha-is named Lupa. Can you believe it?"

Lola paused. She then fakes a laugh as Leia laughs about the girls name.

"Oh, God…" Lola thought to herself.

As she sat there, listening to her niece's laugh, her phones goes off. It looks at the screen. It's work.

"L-Leia, I have to step out and take a call. Can you wait for a second?" Lola asked.

Leia nods and keeps chuckling to herself.

Lola steps out of the car and stands in the rain and answers the phone.

"What, Toni?"

"I told you not to call me on my off day…"

"I am with my niece! I told you because of my...issue, I won't be able to dance!"

"Get Nuvo to cover me! I can't show my bits o-or work a pole with a swollen belly, you Dukes-side fucker…"

"Can we talk about this shit later? I'm still with my niece…"

"Alright. Fine. Sorry. Goodbye."

Lola sighs and looks at her phone. That name. Lupa. Lola knew what was happening. But she was pissed to be the the last to know. She dials numbers on the phone, holding it to her ear and grunted.

"Hello, Lana? It's Lola. You won't believe what Leia just fucking told me is going on at mom's house…"

* * *

Lupa scraped her fork across the plate and glanced at Liby; Luan sat on the other side of the girl, her elbow propped her the table and her fingers threaded through her short brown hair. She tapped the sleeve of Liby's shirt. "How'd you get a stain _there?"_

When Liby turned her head to look, Luan flicked her nose, and they both giggled. Across the table, Lynn angrilly forked a piece of hot dog and shoved it into his mouth. Next to him, Rita stole furtive glances at Liby and Lacy, a strange, misty look in her eyes. Lupa stared down at her food, then up again, catching Rita looking at _her_ now.

Lacy took a drink of milk and sat her glass back down with a thunk. From the living room, the sound of the evening news drifted forth: Terror attack here, typhoon there, nothing good, not that it ever was.

"That's the oldest one in the book," Luan said, her eyes never leaving Liby; every once in awhile she reached out to touch her, smoohing wrinkles in her blouse, stroking her hair (under the pretense of _liking your volume, how do you get it that way?_ ), and patting her leg as she spoke. Lupa didn't like it, and she was _this_ close to asking the woman if she was a fucking pedo or something. Rita too. In fact, the only one of the three adults she liked was Lynn, and that was only because he hadn't so much looked in their direction all day. Now _that's_ how you host guests.

Actually, she liked Loan the most because she hadn't even come out of her room; Rita made her a plate and carried it upstairs.

"Why is your hair white? Are you old?"

Lupa turned to her left; Lizy looked up at her with big, curious eyes. The little girl spent most of the day watching them from afar; now she was getting brave, apparently.

Across the table, Liena coughed and shot Lizy a dirty look.

"That's impolite, dear," Rita said, "some people just have white hair."

Lizy stared at Lupa for a moment as if for confirmation, and Lupa nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay," Lizy chirped and went back to her dinner, her little legs kicking back and forth. Lupa watched her from the corner of her eye for a moment the way a woman would look at something strange and not quite rational. Lupa vaguely remembered being around her age...and not being very happy. Lizy turned again. "Are you going to stay for my birthday party? It's the day after tomorrow and it's going to be really fun." She grinned. "I'm gonna get lots of gifts."

Lupa couldn't fully suppress a silent, back-of-throat chuckle. She was a cute kid, Lupa would give her that. "Maybe," she said. She was fully aware of Liena warily studying her, but pretended that she didn't notice. She met Lacy's eyes, and the same thought passed between them. _I hope not._ Lupa never thought she'd think this, but she kind of missed the group home - she could relax there, because she knew where she stood and how things went. This place, this house, this table, was the unknown, and since the moment she walked through the front door, she'd been on her guard...more so than usual.

When dinner was over, Rita and Luan cleared the table while Lynn shuffled back into the living room and sat in his chair. Liby got up from the table and followed Luan into the kitchen like a puppy dog, trying to be inconspicuous about it but failing. Leave it to her to latch onto the first adult who showed her kindness; that girl was so desperate and naive. Part of Lupa wanted to grab her by her ponytail and slap her across the face.

The table was deserted now except for her and Lacy; Liena and Lizy disappeared up the stairs and at some point Leia came home and did the same. Lacy got up, came over, and sat next to Lupa. "What do you think?" she asked.

Lupa shrugged one shoulder, her hands in the pocket of her hoodie, fingers worrying at the crumpled pack of Kools within. She had three cigarettes left and no money to buy more. Didn't Luan say she worked at a gas station or something? Maybe she could -

No, Lupa wouldn't ask her for shit. She wouldn't ask any of them for shit, and she _felt_ like shit for taking even the offer to stay here.

"That Luan bitch is kind of weird," Lacy said in hushed tones.

Lupa nodded. "I don't like how she's acting with Liby."

"Like she's a fucking dyke or something," Lacy said.

In the kitchen, Luan cracked a joke and her, Liby, and Rita all laughed; for some reason that happy character of it grated on Lupa's nerves and she grimaced. "Pretty much."

Lacy looked toward the archway into the kitchen, her brows knitting and her eyes darkening. "I don't know, though," she said and turned to Lupa. "It's kinda weird but...maybe they're just nice."

For the first time in days, Lupa genuinely laughed. "Yeah, okay," she dismissed.

A few minutes later, Lupa and Lacy both went into the kitchen to find Rita, Luan, and Liby in a row before the sink, Rita washing, Liby drying, and Luan putting the results into the cabinets. Rita looked over and smiled warmly. "Would you girls like some ice cream?"

Liby's face lit up and Lacy and Lupa shared an uneasy glance.

Ten minutes later, they gathered around the table and ate ice cream. Something about how normal yet monstrously _abnormal_ the scene was reminded Lupa of the dream she had before leaving the group home, and her heart began to race. Rita talked to Lacy and Luan to Liby, asking them about what they liked to do...pumping them for information, maybe? Lupa didn't know but she didn't like it.

Later, in the garage, Lupa lay on her cot in between Liby and Lacy's, her arm bent behind her head and her eyes pointed at the water-splotched ceiling, the day's events playing back through her mind. Next to her, Liby hummed a merry tune that was really beginning to get on her nerves. "Did you fun with your new friend?" Lupa snapped.

The older girl simply nodded. "She's really nice."

"She's probably gay for you," Lacy said.

"Ms. Luan is _not_ gay," Liby spat indignantly.

Lacy rolled over and propped her head in her hand, her eyes narrowing mischievously. "She's gonna pop the question tomorrow. You can be the man."

"She's not gay, she's just...a nice person."

Lupa sighed. "I hate to break it to you, but those don't exist, honey."

"Yes they do," Liby said, "and Ms. Luan is one of them."

Later, after her sisters fell asleep, Lupa thought about the way Luan acted with Liby, and the way Rita acted with all of them. She realized now that what she saw in the old woman's eyes was fondness...and longing. That, coupled with the grown-ups' guardedness, disturbed her. Something strange was going on here...she couldn't put her finger on it, but she knew it was there and she didn't like it.

Sighing, she got up and went to the connecting door - she needed a drink of water, or a bathroom visit, something, anything to distract herself. She turned the knob and slipped into the darkened living room; light fell in from the dining room and lay across the floor in a golden bar. She started toward the kitchen but stopped when she heard voices.

"...keep it up." That sounded like Luan. Her tone was mournful, pleading.

"I know," Rita said, "it's much harder than I thought it would be."

A chair creaked as someone shifted. "I told you it was a goddamn mistake," Lynn said gruffly, "you should have sent them away."

Lupa's hand tightened on the handle and her face settled into a glower.

"Will you have a heart, Lynn?" Rita asked sharply.

He _humphed_.

"We should tell them," Luan said, and Lupa's stomach knotted. They were talking about them...but _tell us what?_

"No," Rita said, "I told you why we can't."

"I can't keep lying like this," Luan said, and then started to cry. "I can't."

She _knew_ it. They were hiding something - but what? Her main concern when they got here this morning was that one of them was going to call CPS or the police. Now, she doubted that would happen, but...lying? What in the fuck could they possibly be lying about?

Helping them?

Shortly thereafter, the meeting broke up, and Lupa darted back into the garage, pulling the door closed behind her as quietly as she could. In her spot, she pulled the covers to her chest and laced her fingers behind her head.

She was awake for a long, long time thinking, and when she finally did sleep, her dreams were haunted.

By lies.


	6. Doubting Trust

Lupa came awake in the dark like a cat, her mind instantly clear and her heart racing; a loud sound echoed through the chambers of her head, and she couldn't decide if it was real or something she heard in a dream. She cocked her head and listened intently, waiting to see if it would come again.

It did, a low, rumbling peal of thunder rolling across the sky and vibrating the concrete floor beneath. She glanced at Liby on one side, then Lacy on the other; they were both asleep, eyes closed, lips parted, chests rising and falling under ratty wool blankets. Faint affection swelled in Lupa's breast and she sighed deeply. They'd been through so much in their short lives, as had she, and sometimes the stark unfairness of it struck her like a blow to the guts. They both irritated her sometimes (Lacy's _I'm the best that's ever been_ and Liby's overwrought nerves), but she did love them, even if she didn't hug and kiss them like Mother Goose. Not for the first time, she wished she was older so that she _could_ be a mother to them. She was smart enough to know that she wouldn't be the best (how does a mother even act?), but at least they could settle somewhere and have peace and stability if nothing else. She learned long ago that wishing was pointless, but she was human and slipped now and then. _Sue me._

She shifted and her bladder twinged. She was warm and surprisingly comfortable, the light scent of motor oil and dust somehow soothing - she really had to pee, though.

Getting up, she went through the connecting door to the living room and stopped when she heard movement in the kitchen - pots and pans, the rattle of a coffee pot, and the soft hiss of a curse word as someone burned themselves. Her mind flashed back to what she heard the night before, and her eyes narrowed. They were lying about something, and she spent many long, sleepless hours trying to figure out what it could be. The conclusion she had reached was that they weren't going to help them find their family. What they would do instead, Lupa didn't know.

Maybe try to adopt them?

That didn't make sense, though. Lynn clearly didn't want them there...though last night it sounded like he had a mean case of cave-itis. _I don't like it but whatever_ being its primary symptom. Rita seemed nice enough...the way a politician sounds sensible at a rally, but then goes off and does the exact _opposite_ of what he promised. A front, in other words - she was certain that Rita's kindness was a front. The real question was: What did it hide? It could be any number of things: A killer cannibal, a sadomasochist lesbian sex slaver, uh...a Nazi.

Or maybe...maybe it didn't. Maybe she _was_ nice.

Lupa snorted. Umhm. Okay.

Closing the door behind her, she climbed the stairs, walking softly so as to intrude as little as possible, and went to the bathroom at the end of the hall. When she was done, she considered a shower but decided against it - she took one at Luna's place yesterday, so she was good. She _did_ take a stick of Secret from the medicine cabinet, lift her hoodie, and swipe it across each armpit. She hoped it belonged to Little Miss Princess. _I'm using your deodorant, honey, now you're gonna have ghetto scum on you._

She returned it and winced when sharp hunger pangs rippled through her stomach. She remembered the beans and franks from dinner. Lizy and the others acted like it was the worst thing ever, but it was actually okay. Better than uncooked mashed potato flakes. Part of her wanted to go into the kitchen and see if there was food, but another part felt a rise of shame. She could hear Rita talking to Lynn now, a disgusted inflection in her voice. _She's like a cat, feed her once and she keeps sniffing around._

Fuck that. Lupa didn't have much in this world, but she did have her pride.

 _Rumble._

Well…

 _RUMBLE._

Whatever. If you didn't want me sniffing around you shouldn't have fed me in the first place - it's _your_ fault. Dumbass.

Closing the medicine cabinet, she went out into the hall, and who should be there but Miss Thang herself, clad in a silky pink robe over a light pink night dress, fuzzy pink slippers on her feet. Her arms were crossed, and the vague look of impatience on her face hardened when she saw just who it was she had to wait for. Lupa briefly considered punching her in the face, just to bring her down a few pegs, but decided that it wasn't worth it - she could talk all she wanted, but she was a fragile little suburban flower, a porcelain doll that breaks if you're too rough with it. Pretty pathetic, if you asked her.

Leia rolled her eyes, and Lupa brushed rudely past her like swatting a gnat. The little girl made a _hmph_ noise in the back of her throat, but Lupa ignored her. She went downstairs, crossed through the living room, and, with a deep, steadying breath, into the kitchen.

Rita, in a pink robe and purple slippers, her graying hair messy and stuck out a funny angles, sat at the kitchen table, her laptop open before her and a mug of coffee at her right hand. She looked up and tensed slightly, reminding Lupa of a deer in the headlights. For a moment they stared at each other, then Rita flicked her eyes back to the computer screen. "Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," Lupa replied.

Rita took a sip. "There's coffee if you'd like some."

In fact, Lupa did want some - she didn't sleep very well, or very long, and even now her eyes and headache. "Thanks." she said.

"Cups are over the sink," Rita said without looking away from the screen.

Lupa went over, took out a green mug with white writing across the front, and poured some coffee into it. "How, uh, how did you sleep?" Rita asked awkwardly.

"Good," Lupa lied.

"There's sugar and cream," Rita said.

"I'm fine, thanks," Lupa said. She leaned back against the edge of the counter and took a sip, the boiling liquid burning her lips and tongue.

Rita closed her laptop and turned. "Would you like something to eat?" she asked.

Lupa shrugged indifferently, but her growling stomach betrayed her. Rita smiled and got to her feet. "I'll take that as a yes." She went to the stove, opened the drawer beneath the oven, and took out a frying pan. "How do you like your eggs?"

She started to reply, but realized something: She'd never had eggs any way but scrambled. It was easier for institutional cooks to make big batches of those vs anything else. "Scrambled, I guess," Lupa said.

"Scrambled it is," Rita said. "You can sit down if you want. Make yourself at home."

For some reason, the idea of making herself at home disturbed Lupa, but she crossed to the table and sat anyway, her back stiff and her eyes facing forward. "Were you comfortable enough last night?" Rita asked as she began to whisk the eggs.

"Yeah, I was okay," Lupa said.

"I'm sorry about making the three of you sleep in the garage," Rita said, "but we just don't have the space." She laughed, and Lupa frowned at how phoney it sounded. Even so, the hilt and cadence of the old woman's voice was oddly soothing even as the grotesqueness of the scene began to sink in. Here she was, an orphan, abandoned by her family, sitting at someone's kitchen table and playing domestic chitter chatter as though she belonged, as though she wasn't a fucking castaway kid no one wanted.

If Rita was lying, then so was she.

Guess that made them even.

"We've slept in worse," Lupa admitted, then heard herself add, "at least there were no bedbugs."

Rita's shoulders tensed, and Lupa kicked herself in the ass. Now she probably thought they were dirty and her house was going to be infested.

At length, Rita went back to what she was doing, her movements slow and cautious. "Where exactly did you come from?" she asked haltingly.

Before responding, Lupa examined the question from every angle, trying to determine whether or not answering it could come back to bite her and her sisters in the ass. If she told Rita exactly where they ran from, she might very well call them - not even maliciously, just out of a misguided desire to _help_. "We were in a group home," Lupa said finally.

A minute ticked sluggishly by, and Lupa was beginning to regret being honest. "What was it like?" Rita asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Lupa shrugged. "Eh. Dirty, no one cared, the staff was abusive, the usual."

Rita's shoulders slumped a little. "How long were you there?"

"A couple months," Lupa said, "we were at another one before, and another one. On and on."

The eggs were done. Rita scooped some onto a plate and carried it over. "I'll make some toast," she said.

"Thank you," Lupa said

Rita smiled warmly, then reached out to touch the side of Lupa's face. Lupa's heart burst and she instinctively recoiled like a beaten dog before the boot of its evil master. A look of hurt flickered across the old woman's wizened features, and in her eyes Lupa saw something that bothered her in more ways than she could name: Sadness. Rita started to speak, but her lips quivered and she turned away. "I-I'll make the toast." She went to the toaster, and Lupa watched her, feeling honestly bad. The only time anyone beside her sisters had ever touched her, it was to hurt her - how else would she have reacted? Even if Rita didn't mean her any harm, the idea of someone putting their hand on her like that made her _really_ uncomfortable.

Still, Rita, whatever she may be hiding, was trying to be nice.

Or so Lupa thought.

Honestly, she didn't know; she was more confused than she had ever been in her life, and she was starting to feel lightheaded. She bowed her head over the plate and started to eat, not seeing the way Rita's back hitched as she fought back tears.

A few minutes later, the old woman returned and sat two pieces of toast on Lupa's plate. One wrinkled hand twitched as though with the urge to try and touch her again. Lupa stiffened and prepared to let her do it if she wanted, but instead she went back to her chair and sat. Neither spoke for a time, then Rita said, "You and your sisters...you've always been together, right?"

Lupa swallowed and nodded. "Yeah. We…" she trailed off when she realized a lump of emotion was forming in her throat. She swallowed that too. "We have each other, and it's been us against everyone else." She stopped; she didn't know why, but she found herself wanting to open up to the old woman. "They're the ones who want to find our family, not me. They really want parents and normal stuff like that. I guess I can't blame them. I kind of...I try to be enough for them but I'm not." She forked a piece of egg, shoved it into her mouth, and washed it down with a drink of coffee. "It hurts them, but I'm numb to it. I really didn't want to do this because I know if we find our family, they're just going to kick us out again. They did it once already, what makes them think it'll be different this time? No one loves us and no one wants us, they just need to get over it and move on." A ball of hot anger knotted her chest and her voice tightened as she spoke. She didn't think of her family or what they did very often because when she did, even she, stoic and emotionless, got upset. "Our family doesn't love us; we're trash; they need to grow up and come to terms with it."

Realizing she went on a rant, she kicked herself again and looked up to apologize just as Rita covered her face with one hand and started to cry, her shoulders shaking violently. Lupa blinked in surprise, then quickly glanced down at her plate again, the old woman's kneading sobs tearing through her like shrapnel. She felt even worse now - and despite all of her misgivings when it came to her, Rita had to care in some way, shape, or form. Right? No one breaks down if they don't. "It's not that bad," Lupa said, "it's okay, really."

"It's terrible," Rita moaned, her voice hitching. "It's so terrible." Those last three words come out as a whisper. "I'm so sorry," she said, "I'm so, so sorry."

Lupa was shocked to find tears standing in her own eyes. "Me too," she told her eggs, "but it's just how it is."

Rita wiped her eyes and gained control of herself - Lupa couldn't look into her face...was afraid of what she might see. She started to speak, but a sound stopped her. Lupa sensed a presence and looked over her shoulder to see a tall woman with messy blonde hair and deep, black bags under her eyes standing in the threshold, her arms crossed defensively over her stomach. She wore a baggy blue sweater and white socks tucked into the cuffs of her black sweatpants.

That must be Loan. From what Rita said, Loan rarely left her room and _you probably won't even see her._ She watched her mother with a mixture of alarm and fear, and Rita smiled. "Good morning, honey."

Loan's eyes went from Lupa to her mother. "Good morning," she said. "I-Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, dear," she said, then held out her arms. "Come here."

Loan's brows furrowed, as though her mother wanting to hug her was a concept both strange and new, but went to her, bending and allowing RIta to wrap her arms around her tightly. "Would you like breakfast?" Rita asked into her daughter's ear.

"No," Loan said, "just coffee."

Rita released her, and Loan hurriedly poured herself a cup of coffee and left as though afraid of being around Lupa. As soon as she was gone, Lizy skipped in dressed in red shorts and a purple T-shirt, a red baseball cap on her head. "Good morning!" she said happily.

"Good morning," Rita said and held out her arms. "Come here."

Lizy went to her mother without question, and Rita hugged her tight. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

The little girl gave a vigorous nod. "Yep. I'm vanished."

Lupa snorted, and Lizy looked at her funny. "That means I'm _reallly_ hungry."

"I'll get you some eggs and toast," Rita said and got up.

Lizy pulled out the chair to Lupa's right and sat down, her hands folding on the surface and her legs kicking back and forth. She started to hum and bob her head from side-to-side. She looked at Lupa and donned a big, cheesy, missing-toothed grin. "My birthday's tomorrow."

"I heard," Lupa said patiently.

"That means cake...and ice cream...and toys," she pronounced each of the things that would constitute her party with breathy wonder, and Lupa couldn't keep a trace of a ghost of a faint grin from touching her lips. She remembered being young and excited for her birthday - birthdays were the only occasions when she and the other girls at the home were allowed sweets. As shitty as those places were, they at least sprang for a cake every time someone flipped a calendar page.

The little girl watched her fixedly, her eyes big and brown, and Lupa chafed. "What kind of toys?" she asked, humoring her.

" _Lots_ of toys," Lizy said. "Dinosaurs and trucks and Legos and all sorts of fun stuff."

Lupa nodded. The group home staff didn't go as far as presents. "Cool," Lupa said. "You can have a lot of fun with that stuff."

"Um-hm," Lizy said, "tons and tons of fun. I wanna build a _big_ Lego house -" she held her hand way over her head, "- then knock it down." She swept her arm through the air, a sly grin crossing her face, and Lupa snickered. Wow. Okay, then. "You can help if you want. Build it, I mean. Only _I_ get to knock it down."

She looked at Lupa's coffee then tilted her head to one side, looking for all the world like a cute and curious puppy. "Can I have some?"

That caught Lupa off guard. Lizy's gaze was intense, her eyes shimmering. "Uh...you'd have to ask your mom," Lupa said uncertainty.

To Lupa's surprise, Lizy looked over her shoulder. "Mommy, can I have some of white hair girl's coffee?"

Okay, that made Lupa laugh.

"Her name is Lupa," Rita said sharply as she spooned scrambled eggs onto Lizy's plate, "and if she wants to share it, yes."

Lizy whipped her head around and grinned at Lupa. "I can have some," she declared.

"Alright," Lupa said and slid the mug across the table, "you got me."

"Thank you!" Lizy gripped the cut with both hands, lifted it to her lips, and took a sip. Lupa was surprised that Rita would let her daughter drink after her. She was even more surprised that she wasn't all _that_ surprised. Rita was...she was okay. But that was it; she was still hiding something and Lupa was going to find out what it was.

The front door opened and closed, and heavy, uneven footsteps approached. Lupa glanced over her shoulder, and Luna appeared in the threshold, her eyes bleary and the corners of her lips turned sharply up in what Lupa couldn't help but think of as a predatory smile. She wore tight hip huggers, a strip of flabby skin hanging over the waistband, and a tattered purple coat over a dirty white T-shirt. She swayed from side to side, and slapped a hand on the doorframe to steady herself. The overpowering stench of booze settled over Lupa like a shroud and her stomach turned. Lizy glanced at her aunt and crinkled her nose. _I agree, kid,_ Lupa thought.

"Good morning, Luna..," Rita said and sat Lizy's plate in front of her. From her tone, it was clear that the old woman was not particularly happy to see her.

"Good morning, _sister-in-laaaaw..,_ " she slurred, drawing the last word out in a mocking hiss, her red, rheumy eyes blazing with scorn that took Lupa aback - she was pretty chill the other day, and while Lupa wouldn't trust her as far as she could throw her, she certainly didn't look like a spitting demon...which is exactly what she reminded Lupa of now.

Rita walks back to her side of the table and takes a seat. Luna plants herself right between Lizy and Lupa. Rita crosses her legs, sitting in her chair, leg nervously shaking her negative energy onto the floor as she observes the three. Lizy was trying to eat, but keeps stopping, finding her aunt's smell to be too strong and bothersome to really enjoy her morning. She also noticed the way Luna stared at Lupa. It was...disturbing. Lupa then darts her eyes to her side to Luna and gives a polite but shaky smirk, before returning to her coffee. Rita takes a sip of her own coffee, not breaking her gaze from her troubled child.

Lizy coughs, in a sigh that her senses have been tested too far and have reached a point of strain. Lizy, nose still crickled and eyes lightly misty, turns to her unwashed aunt.

"Auntiiiiiie…" the child whined. "What is that smell?"

Luna and Lupa turns to the little girl, but Rita freezes altogether. Luna tries to look the girl in the eyes, but the liquor rushing through her body made it near impossible to even see just one Lizy with her double vision settling in. Within her drunken daze, she managed to crafted the perfect Luna answer to her young niece's question. She flashes a devilish smirk.

"W-Well, my dear, sweet little Lizy…" started Luna with a raspy slur, words fumbling along the back of her teeth. "That's the smell of a good night….that involves bottles of bourbon and two twelve inch cocks."

Lupa accidentally choked on her coffee, but the comment caught her by surprise. She aims her spit take for the floor, coughing and hacking her lungs out while trying to regain her composure. Rita drops her coffee cup on the floor, shattering it in the process. Though Luna had a satisfied smirk on her her face, Lizy tilts her head, not sure if she even got an answer.

"What's a cock?" Lizy asked.

"You ever seen a black man on television?" Luna teased.

"LUNA!" shouted Rita.

Luna stops, slowly turns to Rita, head bobbing about like a sloshed fish fighting its own buoyancy.

"Yeeeees?" Luna said with a giggle.

"You know good and well that's NOT how you talk to a child…" Rita growled through her teeth.

"Whhhhhaaaat? I was just having a laugh.." the woman slurred.

Lizy gives a lost face.

"Mommy, what's a coc-" Lizy was starting. The faces of Luna and Rita were sides of a coin. Rita grew pale as the question was being asked and Luna was at peak bliss, like she could cry from laughter. Lupa thought it wasn't funny.

"H-Hey, kid!" interrupted Lupa. Lizy stops talking and turns to Lupa. Rita and Luna does the same. What was she doing? This isn't her business. Why say anything? Why help defuse the situation? What was the point of helping these freaks? Lupa paused and thought about her own thoughts, in a confusing web of self-realization of her own process. She was stupid. She felt horrible about what just went through her mind. This woman, Rita, is hiding something. She knows it. But...is it really about her? Was last night even about her and her sisters? Did she just...imagine it? Is her own cynicism clouding her judgement? She can't help and thought about how the morning originally went. The woman spoke kindly to her, feed her and even _cried_ for her. That weep from before...no, that couldn't be faked. Not like that. That child, only knowing her for a mere day and felt safe enough to want to play with her. Not treating her as a street urchin, but...almost like one of her own sisters.

Whatever doubt she felt before is still present, but something told her to at least get Lizy away from such a toxic element.

"Uh-huh?" asked Lizy.

"Uh…" Lupa started with a single drop of sweat creeping along the side of her face. "Y-You want to, uh, go upstairs and build that Lego house?" she asked.

Lizy's eyes widen. A large smile crept across her face. "Really?!" asked the excited toddler. "We can play now?!"

"Uh, sure!" Lupa said. "You head up to your room and get the blocks out while I get some more coffee, okay?"

The child nodded and looks to her mother, happy as can be.

"Mommy, can me and Lupa go play?" lizy said so excitedly.

The way Lizy acted, so happy to be playing with her, made Lupa's cheeks brighten and her jaw hurt. She wanted to smile too, but tried her hardest not to. So much so, it's hard to pretend to not have face pain.

Rita was also very lost. She wasn't truly sure if Lupa would play with Lizy, but it's obvious why she's doing it. Lupa might not be on the same page as Rita starting off, but Rita can read the gesture as it was: Lupa was trying to protect Lizy. Rita looks to Lupa and just smiles. Lupa looks away, trying not to react with a smile, causing her to place her hand on her jaw. She looks back at the child.

"Of course, dear. Let me get her coffee and she'll be right up" Rita said calmly.

"Yay!" exclaimed the gleeful child as she leaves the table and runs upstairs. Rita fixes a fresh cup of coffee for Lupa in a generic black mug as Lupa looks to the floor at the mess she made, saying nothing. Rita notices.

"Don't worry, dear-I'll take care of it" Rita said nicely as she gives the mug to Lupa. "Head on up. I'm sure Lizy is waiting."

"Y-Yeah…" Lupa says as she tries to leave the kitchen, However, Luna then picks up her leg and sticks it out in front of her, blocking her path.

"Juuust...one more thing…" Luna slurred at Lupa, who calmly takes a sip of coffee. "My kid, Lemy. He wanted me to say hello to you."

Lemy. The boy. Lupa didn't know why he made the extra effort to ask his mother of all people to tell her that, but the act itself was kind. Lupa looks to Luna. "Tell him we should hang sometimes or whatever" she says. Luna just snickers and moves her leg, allowing the girl to pass. As Lupa walks upstairs, she kinda started noticing how broken this family actually is. With someone like Luna running around, she couldn't help but feel bad for Lemy and Ms. Rita. The sex joke around Lizy wasn't right or funny, either.

Lupa shakes the thought and stands on the top step. The second to last door on the left was ajar and a light beamed from the opening. Lupa approaches the door slowly and opens it. Inside is a humble girls room. Looking around, Lupa notices its a shared room. One side had an elegant bed, fancy and pretty big. It was that priss Leia's alright. On the other side was little race car bed. That adorable thing had to be Lizy's. In the middle of the floor, Lizy was spreading out the Lego pieces , give a wide space where the two of them can build. Lupa slowly walks over to the space, walking around Lizy to avoid stepping on a Lego brick. She sits next to the child who smiled at her. Lupa said nothing and handed her the mug of coffee.

"Just one sip" Lupa warned with a mild smile.

Lizy nodded and took a little sip as instructed before giving the mug back to Lupa. The child looks at Lupa with wondering eyes.

"Are you living with us now?" Lizy asked.

Lupa looked at the child. She didn't want to lie to her. But she didn't want to make her sad.

"We'll be here for a while" Lupa said. "We are just visiting."

"Oh…" said Lizy. "We can play everyday if you want to."

Lupa chuckles. "Yeah, sure…" she said passively.

Lizy got to her knees and turns to Lupa. Lupa turns to Lizy and stared. She wasn't sure what to make of her stance but before she could think, Lizy leans in quickly and wraps her arms around the pale girls waist. Lizy hugged her.

"H-Hey, why are you hugging me?" Lupa asked.

"For playing with me" Lizy said. "I get lonely sometimes.."

Lupa said nothing else. She quietly wrapped her arms around the child and hugged her back, sighing a sigh of relief. Lupa was growing fond of the girl. Completely unaffected and unaware just how cruel the world was. In a way, she hopes she lives her whole life never knowing.

* * *

The woman sighs as a vape cloud leaves her lips. Five times, she's called the last few days and five times she's been sent to voicemail. She was aware that her aunt was busy, but after a while it got bothersome not hearing from her. The dim blue light shines from her laptop as she stares at a message from one of her gamer buddies.

 _MwM, U want to play another match?_

She blinks and sighs. Hovering her fingers above the keyboard, she types forth.

 _Not rn. Need to recharge._

 _Okay. Cya, MwM._

MamaWithMelons has logged off.

MamaWithMelons aka Loan Loud, sits in her rolling chair and groans, resting her raw palms on her desk after nearly 35 hours of almost completely uninterrupted gameplay. Loan knows she needs sleep, but wasn't feeling it. She felt wiped and wreak, and sadly, so did her living space.

Her desk was damp and dusty, cover with sticky can rings from sodas and energy drinks of the past only for those same drink cans to take up room all over the desk and floor. Her desktop speakers reek of ramen broth and barely worked and her many pricey anime figures of curvy busty female characters that took only a small part of the desk stood looking fine, with one of them suspiciously more...moist than the others. Loan 's bed is covers by stale clothes, chip bags and caffeine boxes. It was so cramped and messy, the castle of grime that she stayed in was become a maze with her meds. Her anxiety medication seems to always be in a new location of the room and she always has to just through hoops of her own mess to locate and take them. If she's in a middle of a match, she'll forget to take them altogether. Tragic youth.

Staring at the screen, her lips twisting in a grimace that only vaguely resembled a sardonic smile, Loan brought the vape pen to her lips and took an absent hit, the soft electric glow dancing in her eyes like moonlight upon a midnight tide. She glanced at her cell phone, sitting next to the mouse within easy reach, then took a deep breath through flaring nostrils and forced herself to look away. Being anxious and OCD, she'd obsess over the damn thing if she wasn't careful, sitting in a corner with it proudly in her upturned palms like Smeagol with the One Ring ( _my preciousssss)_.

But why wasn't Lori picking up? She had a busy life, Loan understood that, but she couldn't take two minutes to at least answer and say _Hey, Loan, sorry, not ignoring you, just really busy. I'll call you later, okay?_

Hearing her aunt's voice was a small thing, but a thing Loan _really_ needed, like sunlight to a flower, or a warm spring breeze to a tired and grumpy bear whose fur was still coated in winter ice.

She snorted humorlessly. That was really gay and cheesy, but it was true; she felt a connection to Lori that she felt to no other member of her family, not even to her own mother. From the time she was a little girl, she idolized her; she was successful, smart, pretty (but in a modern, independent way), she always had nice things, and she treated Loan like she was her own daughter. Loan always kind of suspected that she did it because she didn't have children of her own and chose her as a surrogate. Either way, Loan followed her aunt, physically _and_ metaphorically, like a starry-eyed puppy. It wasn't until she was older than she began to question her own feelings for Lori, and why she felt such adoration for her. After a little thought and reflection, she had it. Lori represented everything that Loan desperately wanted but could not have. She had her shit together, lived on her own in a nice apartment, drove an expensive car, and was _normal._ She didn't have to take medication to keep from freaking out; she didn't have highs and lows; she didn't stay awake and wired for seventy-two hours one week then sleep seventy-four the next. Loan would not say it quite so plainly out loud, but she wanted to be just like her aunt Lori even now, as a grown woman.

Not that that would ever happen. Once upon a time, Loan held out hope that things would get better and her "condition" would improve, but year after year, it never did. Her medication didn't cure her troubles, it only held them at bay, like a crumbling dam, wobbling, leaking, and groaning...but still standing. When she was fifteen and looked ahead at twenty-one, she imagined herself working and living on her own; instead, she lived _at home_ and held one job in her entire life - Flip's. That only lasted two days: She was running the register during the morning rush, when everyone came in for coffee and doughnuts on their way to work, and she got so overwhelmed by all the noise, people, and money that she started shaking.

 _She's just lazy, that's all,_ she overheard her father say once. That wasn't true...at least it wasn't the _full_ truth. She _wanted_ a job, she _wanted_ to have her own money that she could spend however she wanted without having to ask him or her mother for a handout; given half the chance, she'd get the highest paying, most demanding job, and she'd stick with it no matter what, because, as aunt Lori always said, victory is perseverance.

Lori might be able to keep up with life, but Loan couldn't. Hell, she could barely go outside half the time. Something as simple and commonplace as walking out the front door sent a thunderbolt of dread into her stomach. Walking down the street, surrounded by wide, dizzying open spaces, made her heart race in a superstitious terror she couldn't explain, and sometimes, even sitting here in her room was a challenge. She'd started to feel like the walls were closing in on her, and the air would grow hot, stifling, choking; if she didn't flee into the hall before the panic set in, she'd start to tremble and hyperventilate and _oh god what's crawling on me? I can feel bugs crawling on me but I can't see them!_

She managed to hold herself together only because of her medication...and because Lori believed in her. _You can do anything you set your mind to,_ she told her. _You're beautiful, intelligent, and if you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll still land among the stars._ She said that last part as a joke - it was from some motivational poster they saw at the store - but it still gave Loan heart. If Lori said she could do it, then maybe it just might be possible.

Taking another puff from her vape, Loan looked at her phone again, willing it to light up with a text or a call, but it remained dark and cold, like a hearth after the fire. Loan's stomach tightened with anxiety, and before she could stop herself, she picked it up and swiped her thumb across the screen. Maybe she missed it when it rang.

No calls, no texts.

She went into the text app regardless - it was possible that Lori's message didn't come through. Her phone did that sometimes...you had to refresh it to dislodge the message from whatever techno purgatory lost messages go to. She did that now, but nothing, the last message in the thread was hers...the last three were hers.

 _Lol, I doubt that,_ the first read. She and Lori were having a conversation about boys. Lori kept telling her that she needed to date. _Your mother wants grandchildren at some point,_ she said with a twinkle in her eye; she knew talk like that embarrassed Loan to no end. She'd never so much as held hands with a boy, and the thought of going out with one, maybe even _kissing_ him, made her palms sweat. Lori's last text said _If you don't want to go out, you can just use your beauty and charm to lure one in off the street_. Loan sent her reply, expecting Lori to get back to her within minutes, but hours passed, and she had to force herself not to send another. She'd get back to her when she could, no need to be a nuisance.

Then hours turned into a day.

 _Who knows, I might go on a date,_ she said in an attempt to bait a response.

It didn't work.

She sent the final one last night. _You alright? Haven't heard from you._ She stared at it now, reading and rereading it. Did it come across as desperate as it seemed now? Maybe. If she sent yet another, she _would_ look desperate.

Pursing her lips, she sat the phone on the desk and took another drag from her vape; her nerves were starting to fray and her eyes were beginning to ache. She pinched the bridge of her nose and furrowed her brows. Finally, exhaustion was creeping in. Maybe she'd be able to get a decent night's rest. Or decent _day's_ rest, rather. It _was_ day, wasn't it? Heavy, wine colored drapes covered the window, thin light seeping in around the edges. Of course it was day. She wouldn't be considering texting Lori if it wasn't. She just...she was starting to feel funny, and when she felt funny, her mind sort of...got muddled.

It occurred to her then that she didn't remember taking her medication, and a hammer of alarm smashed into her heart. Oh, shit. _Did_ she take it? Her forehead knitted in thought. She took it every night at eleven like clockwork. Last night at eleven she was...where was she? In the Dungeon of Perpetual Solitude fighting orcs with her guild and pissed because her headphones were broken and she couldn't properly direct their attack. She was focused entirely on the battle...and on ignoring the phone at her right.

No, she _didn't_ take her meds.

Fuck.

She bared her teeth in frustration and raked her fingers through her tangled blonde hair. Alright, it was just one dose, that wasn't so bad; she couldn't take it now, she'd have to wait. If she took it easy and didn't stress or get excited, she'd be okay.

Sighing, she looked at the phone. _Fine. Whatever._ She got to her feet and winced at the stiffness in her back. She really had to pee, too. When was the last time she got up? She tried to remember but couldn't - she _thought_ it was right after she and her troops made it through the Forest of the Dead, but couldn't be sure, her hours and days had a way of blending together. She crossed the room at a lumbering gait and went into the hall, stopping at the sound of voices, Lizy's and someone...oh, that weird girl with the white hair. That's when it hit her: The last time she was up was when she went downstairs earlier and Mom hugged her. That was...odd. Mom wasn't usually that affectionate. She wasn't _cold_ , but she also didn't pull her daughters into random, tearful embraces.

"That's a really big house," Lupa said, impressed. "Be careful or it'll fall over."

"No it won't," Lizy piped, "I'm a real good builderer. Watch."

For a moment, nothing happened...then the sound of blocks breaking against the floor drifted into the hall. "Told you," Lupa said.

"That was an accident," Lizy said, "it doesn't count."

Loan listened to the conversation, her head tilting to one side and her eyes squinting in concentration. Her brain felt foggy and thinking clearly was getting harder. If Mom hugging her was weird, then her taking three kids in off the street like stray cats was even weirderer...weirder, she meant.

Then again, as dysfunctional as they could be, her parents weren't evil, and only an evil person would turn away a couple of homeless orphans.

Or would they?

She didn't know. Her head hurt.

In the bathroom, she used the toilet and started back out, but caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. A vision like a bad memory struck her like a lightning bolt from the blue, and she blinked in surprise, her muscles tensing defensively and her heart slamming against her breast. In her mind's eye, she saw only darkness, heard only the high, mournful sound of a baby's cry underlaid with tinny music, the kind that comes from a child's toy. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. _Shut up,_ came an angry, snake-like hiss, _I can't take anymore, shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_

Phantom pain burst across the side of Loan's head as though she'd been struck, and she stumbled back against the doorframe, her chest tightening and her lungs bursting for air. She swallowed around a lump of emotion in her throat and squeezed her eyes closed as that terrible voice rang through her head, like a sound heard in a dream, swelling until it was a hysterical shriek. _I can't do this! I can't do this! STOP CRYING!_

Loan slapped her hands to her ears and bared her teeth in exertion as she willed it away. The volume faded, as though someone were lowering a knob, then it was gone, the only sound the slamming of her own heart.

Pushing away from the doorframe, she stumbled into the hall and nearly fell to her knees. Something moved in the corner her her eye, and she whipped a frightened look down the corridor. Lupa stood by the head of the stairs, her hands in the front pocket of her hoodie and her brow furrowed in guarded concern...or wary suspicion.

Before she could speak, Loan threw her door open, staggered inside, and slammed it behind her, leaning heavily back against it and fighting to catch her runaway breath.

She never told Mom about the hallucinations, never told anyone - as soon as she was old enough to understand them, she knew they'd think she was crazy and put her in a nuthouse, so she hid them. They didn't happen very often anymore, only when she missed a dose of her medication, and sometimes in her dreams. Those were the worst because they were far more detailed, far more real: She was small, helpless, afraid, and a dark, monstrous shadow leaned over her, screaming and shaking her, spittle spraying against her face.

Sometimes, sitting up in bed after one of those nightmares, her arms wrapped protectively around her chest and tears standing in her eyes, she could almost believe that they weren't dreams at all but memories instead.

When she was as calm as she could get, she went over to her chair and sat, her body trembling. She picked up the phone and sent Lori a text, not caring how desperate or annoying she sounded. _Please talk to me. I need you._

Less than two minutes later, the phone rang.

It was Lori.

Loan answered it.

* * *

Lacy slipped into the garage through the connecting door with a smug little grin on her face. Liby sat up in a pool of sleeping bags, her eyelids drooping and her hair sticking out at funny angles. Her clothes were rumbled and she swayed slightly from side to side like a drunk on the bus, trying to get home without puking or passing out in the aisle. She looked up and squinted blearily as Lacy came over, tossing an apple into the air and then catching it as though it were a baseball. "Scored you some breakfast," she said. She unthinkingly tossed it at her sister, and the older girl threw her hands defensively up, a tiny cry escaping her lips.

It landed next to her.

"That Rita lady's making real food," Lacy said and dropped onto her sleeping bag.

"Thanks," Liby said and picked the apple up. She turned it left and right, examining it for germs, razor blades, and communism.

Lacy lifted a quizzical brow. "It's not gonna kill you, Lib."

"I know," Liby said, "just checking."

Lacy rolled her eyes and bent one arm under her head, her eyes scanning the ceiling as if for answers to all life's mysteries. Low thunder rumbled overhead, and rain hissed on the roof. Somewhere, water dripped onto the floor in a steady, monotonous beat that quickly grated Lacy's nerves. "Where's Lupa?" Liby asked and lifted the apple to her mouth. She took a crisp bite, and juice splattered the side of Lacy's face.

"Playing pretty princess fag-party with Lizy."

A shadow of confusion flickered across Liby's face, then was gone. "Oh."

"Yep," Lacy said with a hint of annoyance. The whole point of coming here was to find their family, not fart around and waste time. Hey, she was grateful to Rita and what's-his-name too, but she wanted to find her father...or mother...or cousin Jed-Bob...whoever the hell there was.

The thing was: She had no damn clue where to start. The paperwork she and Liby swiped from the records room said ROYAL WOODS, MICHIGAN and nothing else. When talked Lupa into making the trip, she didn't give much thought to what they would do once they actually got there. Now here they were, and Lacy was fresh out of ideas. Go door to door? Put up flyers? Walk down Main Street with a bullhorn calling for mommy and daddy?

The thought of being in an unfamiliar city with no real plan started to settle. What are the chances of their folks really being here? What if they have moved? What if they broke up and went to different parts of town? What if they were dead? A lot can happen after a decade and some change. Lacy rubs her forehead, a soldom headache forming as she closes her eyes and ponder about what they should do. As she turns to her older sister. Liby was taking a modest bite of her apple. Lacy looks toward the house. A thought approached her in the still of the moment.

"What do you think she's doing that?" Lacy asked.

"Hmm?" asked Liby, as she takes another bite of her apple.

"Maybe she's scoping for a B&E?" asked Lacy. "That's gotta be it…"

Liby stops and looks to Lacy. She looks down. "A-A B&E?" asked Liby. "We're guest. A B&E wouldn't make sense. Not to mention it's not Lupa's style.

"You're right, Liby" said Lacy. "She would need me to guide her through it, considering how amazing I am in these sorts of missions."

Liby blinked. "I...I didn't say that-" Liby started.

"The what is she planning? Lacy asked herself. "What does she have to gain by playing with that kid?"

Liby looks to the floor and a thought crossed her mind, causing her to smile warmly. "Maybe...maybe Lupa just likes Lizy…"

Lacy snoted, trying to conceal the mocking tone of her laughter. Liby looks up to her sister, who loses herself and starts chuckling to herself. Liby sighs, upset by how cynical her sister's response is. Lacy turns to her sister, walks over to sit next to her and wraps her arm around her. She cease her laughter with a pleasant sigh.

"Look, Lib," Lacy started. "Lupa _hates_ people. She has to have her reason to be here. At the end of the day, we all we got-always have, always will. I know ya think these people are nice. Maybe they are. But don't forget why we are here: to find our family; not to mooch off of theirs. In the end, they'll throw us away like any other family, like Lupa said...that's why we need to find our own!"

Liby knew that. She knew that's why they were there, however she found her sister's words hard to take. Nevertheless, as she always doesn, she grows quiet and nods.

Lacy smiles and hugs her. "Besides" Lacy resumes. "We don't want to stick around here with bitchy brats like Leia or weirdos like that Luan lady-"

Liby moves a bit from Lacy's embrace. Lacy was taken aback before she groaned. "Are you serious? You like the weird lady?" asked Lacy with a hint of venom.

"S-She's n-not that bad. She was very nice to me…" Liby said.

Lacy rolls her eyes, finding the statement stale. "What if she's some kinda...uh...whatever-woman pedo or something?"

"Only 20% of pedophiles are women…" Liby said.

"Where the hell did you hear that?!" Lacy said, unsure how correct that number is.

"The black talk show lady...on television…" Liby said meekly.

Lacy shook her head and walked to another side of the garage. "That lady has got your mind twisted…" she muttered under her breathe. Liby grows silent, and stares at her appear, finding it's sweet juices from before feel sour in her mouth. She ignores the apple and lays on her bed, no longer feeling like speaking about the matter any further, the thoughts of having a mother nearby to calm her filling her mind.

Lupa fills her coffee cup in the kitchen, a light smile of her face. She was surprised how full of energy Lizy is when it came to playing. From Lego house destruction to stuffed dinosaur plushies taking over "Fruittime Valley". From play wrestling to a high stake game of Go Fish. Whatever the game, Lizy was ready to play and Lupa, oddly enough, was silent eager to join in. Lupa takes a long sip from her mug and looks into the dark pool of caffeinated beans. The dolls, the cards, the l=plushies, the playsets, the building blocks-all toys her and her sisters never got to have. This child had it made, she most likely thought. The the short time with her, Lupa has grown to like the kid. Hell, she might just steal her away from here, let her grow up with them.

She chuckles. " _How stupid.."_ she thought to herself. Why the hell would she steal Lizy from here? A nice home with nice people. Toys to play with, a bed, food in her belly and a roof over her to a possible pointless quest to find her parents to that sad, quiet bus ride back to Lotown with broken dreams and nowhere to call home. Only a selfish fool would take a sweet kid like that away.

Lupa takes another long sip and shook her head. Why? Why all of a sudden she cared about this kid? Hell, why is that kid interested in her at all? She's practically a street urchin with unkempt ghost hair and stale clothes. The connection was very strange, but she was kinda enjoying herself. Though this whole trip wasn't to sleep at strangers houses and play cute little games with toddlers, Lupa was more at ease with the situation. She thought about and what was being talked about the other night. Lupa wonders if that she was misheard her.

Lupa scratched her head and wanders out of the kitchen and through the dining room. She was about to climb the stairs but pause. She looks to her lift into the living room, seeing the news. Before walking back up, she finds herself wondering into the living room, not saying a word as her attention was toward the screen. In the room, Rita and Lynn Sr paused-slowly looking to Lupa from the corner of their eyes. Lupa watched to see something awful.

The tagline. "5 DEAD; 7 INJURED IN LOTOWN SHOOTING. "Five preteens where shot dead outside of a local group home on the southside merely an two hours ago. Witness say two of the five victims got into a heated altercation that turned into a fight after a local boy was attacked for his shoes. The boy is known as Benjamin Reshad Kelow, who is known in this area as Benzo Benny, was robbed be these children. He leaves and returns with members from a local Crip set, who opened fired outside of the building in retaliation. All four suspects in the shooting, including Kelow, were arrested. All five children were dead on the scene and the other seven bystanders ranged from non life threatening injuries to critical condition. Back to you."

Lupa inhales and exhales. Lynn Sr slowly turns the channel to a different news station, talking about the president smacking a female reporter into a coma and something about it making his approval numbers skyrocket. Rita looks to Lupa. This was the city they sent them off to live their lives. They heard stories, even seen how dead and rough the city was with their own eyes...twice. Yet, they still sent them there. Rita holds herself, the feeling of guilt eating its way from the inside out. Lynn Sr looks to his wife, a frown overtaken him. Watching his wife silently suffer hurt him. Never wanted to express it, but he still feels her pain. He looks to Lupa. Poor dear. He clears his throat.

"Damn president…" he said, trying to break the stillness of the room. "Always doing something crazy, huh?"

Lupa looks to him. She feels that was directed at her.

"Uh, yeah…" she said coldly. The thought of who those kids were filling her head. "He's...quite the character."

"Are you okay, sweetie..?" Rita managed to muster.

Lupa nodded. She lied. Seeing that story brought back a lot of somber feelings, her emotional high from earlier slowly fading, making the situation more painful. The three stood in silence for what seemed like a while before the sounds of the doorbell caused them to spring alive.

Rita rises from the couch and walks her way around to make for the door. Lupa looks to the door from where she stood, curious. Lynn Sr returns his attention back to the television. Rita opens the door and smiled brightly.

"Leni! Lana! How are you?" Rita said.

Lupa walks a little closer to get a better look at the guest. She peers over and sees them. There was a tall woman with long blonde hair. Almost a perfect body. She had on a teal colored graphic t-shirt, Chanel jeans, pink loop earrings and these stylish white shoes that looked like something out of a hip hop video. The woman couldn't be wearing anything one could buy at the Lotown Thrift. These were designer clothes. Had to be worth hundreds of didn't help that this woman looked beautiful as well. Didn't look like she had too much makeup on either.

The other woman looked younger and was a tad was a tad thicker than the other. Not fat, but indeed more curvy. Short blonde hair. She had a black t-shirt that had Loud's Customs-looked like some kind of car garage sponsored t-shirt. She also had common dark blue jeans; mildly dusty and some old sneakers. Overall, everything one COULD buy at Lotown Thrift. She comes off a tad more poorer than the other woman.

Lupa stares as Rite hugs both women. She then turns to Lupa and smiles. The tall one walked inside from the porch, smile bright. "Hi, Lupa!" the tall one said.

Lupa sorta stared. "Uh, hi...how do you know my name..?"

The tall one pauses. Quickly, the shorter woman cuts in.

"Our sister told us about you. You, know, with the white hair…" the shorter said.

"Oh…" Lupa said as she turns to Rita. "You...told them about us?"

Rita nods slowly. "I..wanted them to be aware of our new guest-you and your sisters" Rita said.

The tall woman gets close to Lupa and looks at her. "Oh, you look so cute!"

Lupa was puzzled. "C-Cute? What do you-" she started.

"Freckles, the dull skin, the eye shadow, full lips-Ican totes see all the boys chase you!" the tall woman said.

Lupa is just stuck. That comment came out so childish but so genuine, Lupa couldn't find flaw in it. It wasn't pity or to mock-it was a serious belief. Lupa couldn't tell if these woman was just really dumb or really nice or both.

"T-Thanks…" Lupa said looking away, feeling a tad flustered by such a compliment. "Uh, who are you..?"

The tall woman stood up and smiled at Lupa. "My name is Leni!" she said, She poses her hand at the shorter woman. And this is-"

"AUNTIE LANA!" a voice shouted from the top of the stairs. All for women look up to see Lizy dash down the stairs. She makes a mad dash for the door and nearly flew into the woman's arms. Lana caught the child and held her tight, the child playing going limp as Lana shakes around with her hug. Lana kisses the child on her forehead, causing Lizy to giggle.

"Hey there, my little monkey!" Lana said sweetly. "You excited for you birthday?"

The child nods and holds

"I know you are!" said Lana. The two laugh and embracing one another.

Leni claps her hands together and says "Aww!" Rita smiles watching before turning to Lupa. She frowns. Lupa stares at Lana and Lizy and grabs her chest. That sight. This feeling. Lupa couldn't help but feel her insides knot up. Everything inside her makes her wanna scream the ugliest things. The snardist remarks. The cruelest words. Anything to dismantle this "cute" or "sweet" moment. She opens up her mouth, but the words won't come out. She couldn't do it. No matter how much it hurts and how much she couldn't stand looking at it, she stayed silent. Was she...jealous..?

Lana puts the girl down and clears a throat.

"Anyway, kiddo" Lana started. "I have a little surprise for you. I have your gift here early!"

Lizy's eyes got big as she bounced up and down. "For really?!" Lizy said.

"For really" Lana said. "It's outside-go take a look!"

Lizy runs outside and stood on the porch and gasped. Rita, Lana, Leni and Lupa walked on to the porch. Rita and Lupa's eyes widen. An Ottawa Classic tricycle with a mini basket on the back was sitting in the driveway. A lavish little blue color. Lizy ran to it and hopped around, excited at the present. She stared at the bike cycle handlebar.

"It was a bell!" she shouted to the porch as she rings it.

Lana smiles widely, happy that Lizy loves it. Lwni shares in her happiness. Rita, however,covered her mouth, a concerned look on her face. Lupa noticed.

"Are you okay, Ms. Rita?" asked Lupa.

Rita looks to Lupa, and was about so sat something, but noticed Lizy was coming back to the porch. She walks up and hungs Lana's leg. Lana pats her head, but then the child bolts to Lupa, grabbing her hand and tugging her. Lupa's eyes widen. Lana walks over to them.

"Uh, Lizy.." Lana started.

"I want Lupa to come ride the tric with me!" Lizy said, still holding on to Lupa.

Leni giggles. "Sweetie, Lupa is too big to ride the tric. She's a big girl. See?"

Lizy looks to Lupa. She looks to Lana.

"Can Lupa have a bike to so we can ride together?"

Lana gave a worried face and then tries to smile. "Sorry, dear..bikes are pretty pricey-"

"It's okay, Lizy" Lupa said. Lizy turned to her to see a pleasant smile on the white haired girls face.

Jealous or not, Lupa can't deny just how unbelievely sweet this child pure, so unware. Trusting. Lupa couldn't believe for a second she was envious of her. She just wants a friend.

"I can't ride, but I can watch you ride for a little bit" lupa said.

Lizy gets excited and looks at Rita. "Can she?!" Lizy nearly yipped.

Rita nods with a smile, watch the two girls walk to the driveway as Lizy gets on the tric and starts to pedal around in a cycle, laughing. Lupa just sat there and watched. The three other women stood on the porch and sighed, just soaking in the moment.

"She's doing better than my first time…" Leni said.

However, Rita's sense of peace fades.

"Lupa!" Rita called out. Lupa turns her head to the porch. "We're going inside! Is it okay if you watch Lizy?" Lupa gives a thumbs up.

The three women walkinside and shut the door. Rita turns to both Lana and Leni. "Kitchen. Now" she said as she walks off first. Leni nd Lana sigh, knowing what this was going to mean. Lana starts to walk to the kitchen. Leni turns her head to the living room. "Hi, daddy…" she said. Lynn Sr only grunts. Leni walks into the kitchen when her mother and sister stood.

"Lana, why did you buy that?" Rita asked. "We said you didn't have to get her anything."

"I wanted to…" Lana said. "What's the big deal?"

"Honey, you and I both know you can't throw your money around like that" Rita said sternly.

"It's just a gift-what do you want me to do? Not buy her a birthday gift? Lana said, rising her voice.

"What about your situation?" Rita asked.

Lana was broke. Beyond broke. She has lost more money than anyone else in the family since she left home. Her garage business fell to ruin down in Prawn City in Florida, losing out to the competition. Didn't make it past three years. After that, she tried a plumbing business that didn't work or and also buckled on impulse to make a food truck work. However, dude to the cost of the truck and the fact her food was subpar and no on was buying, that was another failure. After asking for so many loans, she fell into so much debt, she couldn't afford to take care of her own daughter, Lizy, when she was born. Without anyway out, she gave her parents Lizy until she can get her money issues fixed. But things only snowballed. She lost her home. Lost her car. Had no job. Owed the IRS for a time and have fell so far down, she had no choice but to file bankruptcy. Now, most loan offices and apartment complexes wont' even let her take applications. The job market around the area has been so poor, she was only able to get a part time gig at a local brewery through a temp company. However, she recently lost that job after an issue last year. She caught a DUI charge. No car, no way to work, no job. Plain and simple. After some time in a shelter, her twin Lola has had enough and forced Lana to stay with her so she can get off the street. She's been there since and still doesn't have a dollar to her name.

Rita was very upset to see her spend money she knows she didn't have.

"I'm working on it," Lana said defensively, her eyes not meeting Rita's. She knew she couldn't afford the bike...in fact, she spent a week debating with herself whether she should get it at all, dread clutching at the inside of her stomach because if she did, she'd be fucked financially. She could get something cheaper, she told herself, and Lizy would be just as happy.

Then the guilt set in. She loved her daughter fiercely and wanted her to be happy...which is exactly why she gave her over to her parents. Mom and Dad weren't the greatest, but here Lizy was safe, warm, and had things. If she stayed with Lana, she'd be constantly shuttled between shelters, motel rooms, friends' couches, and people's garages, and she wouldn't have shit to her name. Lana had to remind herself every day that this arrangement for for Lizy's benefit, not hers. Buying the bike was stupid, but what else could she do? She wasn't going to be back on her feet anytime soon - Lizy was going to be here a lot longer than Lana at first imagined.

Rita regarded her with a mixture of pity and annoyance, then turned to Leni. "Leni, dear, you do realize that you were supposed to act as though I hadn't talked to you about them, right?"

Leni scrunched her lips to the side and rolled her eyes to the ceiling in thought. "Ummm...yes?" she said at length. When RIta spoke to Leni on the phone, she specifically told her: _Please, Leni, do not let anything slip_ , speaking slowly and enunciating carefully so that Leni understood the gravity of her request. She considered not telling her at all, as she was notorious for sinking ships, as the saying went, but that would only make things worse, she realized. _Oh, your name is Lupa, and your sisters are Liby and Lacy? That's totes, like, a conindcdece, I have three nieces by those names who were, like, given up to the state ten years ago. Funny, huh?_

She couldn't help it - she suffered a very mild form of autism that induced absent-mindedness - but she was not stupid and had full self-awareness to the point that she would specifically ask you not to tell her a secret. _I'll just blurt it out and everyone will get mad, lol._

"Sorry," she said sheepishly and shrugged her shoulders as if to say _it's beyond my control._

At least it she didn't say anything outright incriminating. "Please be careful from now on."

Leni nodded. "Pinkie promise."

She held up her thumb.

"We're not gonna be around for a while, so you don't have to worry," Lana said as she went over to the coffee pot.

"Where are you going?" Rita asked.

Leni brightened. "To get Lizy's hair done for the party."

Oh. Rita seemed to remember something being said about that but for the life of her she couldn't recall. She most likely forgot; she wasn't yet an old woman, or so she liked to think, but the signs of aging were setting in, and one that constantly plagued her was memory loss. "That's fine." She looked at Lana, who stirred her coffee. "Are you paying for it?" She couldn't keep a sharp edge from creeping into her tone.

"Nope," Leni said, "I am. It's one of my presents." She fisted her hands in excitement. "The other one's a dinosaur."

"A dinosaur?"

Taking a sip, Lana nodded. "Yeah, it's really nice. Four feet tall, roars, walks."

"Lana helped me pick it out."

More like Lana chose it and had Leni pay for it. "That sounds a little excessive," Rita worried. "That's taller than she is."

"Eh, she'll love it," Lana said. She gulped her coffee and sat the mug in the sink. "You ready, Len?"

"Yep."

"Cool," Lana said. "We'll grab Lizy and go," she said to her mother. "We're probably gonna take her out to lunch or something too, but we'll be back by two or something."

Rita nodded. "Alright."

* * *

Lemy Loud plopped the filter of a Maverick between his lips, sparked the end, and drew the harsh smoke deep into his lungs, wincing at the stale taste. Across the grimy plastic patio table, Drew watched him with bleary-eyed contemplation, considering his last question. A cool wind whipped Drew's thin, graying hair back and forth across his balding head and made wave-like ripples in his gray jumpsuit. An overfull ashtray and a bottle of cheap bourbon sat before him, and currently, he picked up the former and took a long drink.

With a sigh, he sat it down. "Beats the shit out of me."

They were sitting in cracked and bowing lawn chairs like jolly picnickers surrounded by heaps of junk, refuse, and crap fifteen feet high in places. _How do you, you know, talk to girls?_ Lemy asked. He was skipping school, again, and as he aimlessly wandered the early morning streets of Royal Woods, his mind turned to Lupa...and when it did, the bottom of his stomach kind of...dropped out.

Yeah, there wasn't any use tryin to delude himself; he liked her...a lot. Her dark, stormy eyes, like a tempestuous night; her thick, snowy hair; her pouty, kissable lips; her…

He trailed off. She had this air about her, like she'd seen too much and taken too many hits to the heart - a jaded sadness, maybe, or a defensive apathy. He didn't fucking know, she just came across like someone who'd been hurt before. Lemy knew lots of girls like that, but he never felt this warm, tingly I-wanna-hold-her-and-make-it-all-better bullshit he was now. He'd been attracted to girls, yeah, but only physically. He looked at their butts and legs, thought _damn, I wanna fuck her,_ got hard, went home, jacked off in the bathroom, and that was that. With Lupa, it was different. He couldn't stop thinking about her, and his thoughts weren't even sexual. He wondered what her body looked like, and how it would feel under his hands - warm and soft, like summer silk, he imagined - but he kept coming back to the image of him wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, to the warm weight of her body against his, to the sensation of her heart beating against his heart.

Ever since the previous morning, when she and her sisters left, she'd been on his mind...constantly...nonstop, the same thoughts and feelings on an endless loop.

It was fucking torture.

As he walked to Drew's, he made up his mind.

He wanted to be her boyfriend; he wanted to hug her and make all that pain he saw in her eyes go away, wanted it so fucking bad it made his stomach ache.

There was just one problem.

He didn't know dick about talking to girls. Luckily, he had Drew; guy was, what, forty? He _had_ to know what was up.

"I haven't had free pussy in ten years," Drew said now and laughed.

Sighing, Lemy looked at the man sitting to his left. X the cabbie. Tall and slim with dreadlocks and a goatee, his gold teeth the color of tarnished sand, he wore a gray pullover sweater, the hood down, and a dark blue baseball cap turned backwards. His novelty Rastafarian cap apparently had the day off, just like him. X was older and, from the brief conversation Lemy had with him the other day, pretty wise, too.

Currently, slouched to one side, hs elbow propped on the edge of the table and his right foot resting on his left knee, X stroked his chin with an exaggerated flourish and favored Lemy with a knowing grin that would have looked smug on someone else, but on the old black man looked playful and friendly instead. "Let me ask _you_ something. What's a girl?"

Lemy's brow lowered in confusion. "Uhh...a female?" he asked and spread his hands in an I-don't-know gesture.

"No, a girl's a person. And what are people?"

Why did this dude have to be so cryptic? "I don't know. Humans?"

"That's not wrong," X conceded, "but what are human beings?"

The gentle, patient tone of his voice, for some reason, made Lemy want to answer correctly. He squinted one eye and thought as hard as he could. What _are_ people? A thousand things came to mind, but none of them were positive, and he got the feeling that whatever X was driving at, it wasn't negativity. Finally, with a flush of shame and feeling like a retard, Lemy shrugged. "I don't know. What are people?"

X held up his index finger. "Different."

They are?

"No two people are the same, young blood, even if they look it; everyone's got their own thoughts and hopes. You can't talk to a prissy little cheerleader like you can the bookworm girl, can you?"

Lemy thought for a minute. No, he guessed, you couldn't. "But girls like the same things, right?"

X chuckled. "No, they don't. One girl likes the big ol' football player, another girl likes the geek. You ask about talkin' to girls, do you have one in particular you like?"

A vision of Lupa's face flashed across Lemy's mind. "Yeah," he admitted.

"Talk to her," X said simply.

"I can't," Lemy said, hating the whine in his voice, "I need to know how."

"You need to find out who she is, and the only way to do that is by talking to her. You ain't dumb, I can see that. Once you get a better feel for who she is, you gonna know how. Like any other person, she got her thoughts and wants and fears. Maybe you got some of them same. Maybe y'all can bond with them. Can't do that unless you talk, now can you?"

A chilly guest of wind swept over Lemy as he considered X's advice. It made sense, he supposed. "I really like her, though," he said, "and...and I'm kind of nervous, you know?"

"You know what you need to do?" X asked.

Lemy shook his head.

"Take it one step at a time. Talk to her like a friend. Don't think of nothin' beyond that. Don't think how you wanna hold her hand or none of that. Just focus on tryin' get to know her like you would anyone else. You like me, right?"

"Yeah, you're cool," Lemy said honestly.

"You wanna know me and be cool with me, right?"

"Yeah."

X lifted his hands as if that closed the matter. "Do the same with her. And when you know her and she know you, then take the next step."

"How will I know when?" Lemy asked.

"Listen to your heart."

* * *

Across town, Lyra Loud sat in history class with her chin resting in her hand. She was normally an apt and fastidious student, but right now, she gazed absently out the window and ignored the teacher's droning voice. Was Lemy in school? she wondered.

For some reason she thought of that Lupa girl. It was clear that Lemy liked her, and for reasons she could probably name but didn't want to, that made mad. For one, Lupa was trash - she reminded Lyra of all the other little hood girls running around their building, all about being tough and hard and not about studying or working hard. The next generation of single mothers of food stamps and section eight. For another, Lupa didn't give two shits about Lemy. You could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. She didn't care about anyone...except, maybe, her sisters, and that was a _big_ maybe. Would she give up her last five dollars so that Lemy could eat? Would she go out of her way to protect him and make sure he was okay? No, Lyra thought, she wouldn't.

But _she_ would.

An image came unbidden into her mind: Her and Lemy on the couch, her sitting against the arm and him lying on top of her, his face buried in her shoulder. She got the sense that he was upset and she was trying to comfort him. She ran her fingers through his warm brown hair, lifted his tearful face to hers...then leaned in and kissed him.

With tongue.

A corrosive mixture of dread and longing bubbled up in her stomach and she held her head in her hands.

This wasn't the first time she had a thought like that...and she doubted it would be the last. Once, they bothered her greatly, but as time wore on, she came to almost enjoy them.

And that in of itself bothered her.

Lemy was the only good thing in her life and she love him fiercely, wanted him to be happy, wanted to _make_ him happy. She wanted to be everything for him: His sister, his mother, more…

She thought back to what her mother said long years ago, to the curse she spoke upon her. _You're gonna be just like me._ She said it with a mocking smile. _You can try to be different all you want, sweetie, but in the end, you're Luna Jr._

For much of her life, Lyra made every effort to be as unlike her mother as possible. Where Mom was night, she strove to be day; where Mom was selfish, she was generous; where Mom was irresponsible, she was reliable perhaps to a fault. She didn't want to be like Mom, drunk and hopped up on drugs in a dingy apartment. She didn't want to be like Mom because, ultimately, at deep in her heart, Mom wasn't happy. Lyra wanted to be happy.

But she also wanted her brother.

In a base, unsisterly way.

Just like Mom wanted her own brother.

Lyra wasn't sure that her uncle was her father, but sometimes Mom got trashed and said things, things that lead to believe that maybe he was, and Lemy's too.

 _Luna Jr._

No, she refused. She would not do as her mother had done. She wouldn't take drugs, she wouldn't drink, she wouldn't be unhappy, and she would _not_ do...that...with Lemy. Ever.

She went back to all the times she held him through the night, to the urges she felt. It was a battle to not roll him over, mount him, and hold his face in her hands as she made slow, sweet love to him, as she created with him what they both lacked in life: Tenderness, intimacy, and affection. They could start over, she would think, in a little house somewhere far, far away, with only each other. They might not have much, but they would have each other and the love they shared. That would be enough...it would be _better._

But she wouldn't.

Even if she wanted to.

* * *

Lupa sat with her back against the wall and her knees drawn up. Lacy sat on a dusty workbench, her legs dangling over the side. Liby left to use the bathroom (asking Lacy to go with her...Lacy refused), and from the sugary pitch of Rita's muffled voice through her door, Lupa assumed the old woman dragged her off for milk and cookies or something.

"Gettin' kinda chummy with, uh, Lizy, huh?" Lacy asked, swinging her legs back and forth. There was an accusatory edge that knocked Lupa slightly off balance.

She shrugged. "She's cute." A tiny smile touched her lips and the strangest sensation, like warm wool fresh from the dryer, flooded her chest.

"That's nice," Lacy said dismissively, "we're not here to play tiddlywinks with two years olds, though. Remember? Our family?"

Of course Lupa remembered, but in the rush of the morning, opening up to Rita and then playing with Lizy, the importance of the task - not very important to her to begin with - kind of faded. "I know why we're here, Lacy," Lupa said defensively. "You remember I was against it, right? You and Liby were the ones who wanted to come here, not me."

"Yeah, well, we're here _now_ and we wanna get started."

Lupa lifted and lowered one shoulder. "Okay. Let's get started."

"Alright, let's."

"Where?" Lupa asked pointedly.

"I dunno. The library, maybe? They have records there, right?"

Lupa supposed. "I doubt we'll find anything, but okay." She got stiffly to her feet and stretched her arms. "I'm going out for a smoke. Then we can go do whatever you want. Gonna fail anyway."

Before Lacy could snipe back, Lupa slipped through the outside door and pulled it closed behind her. A narrow alleyway ran between the side of the garage and the fence separating this property from the next one over. Lupa walked around front, leaned against the roll top door, and slipped her cigarettes from her hoodie. She lit one, and that's when she noticed the car parked on the other side of the street. Someone sat behind the steering wheel and faced away from her, they hand zig-zagging animatedly through the air as they presumably argued with someone else.

"Lucy, Oh my god-Hush!" the woman shouted, frantically whipping her wrist about.

She slams her hands on the steering wheel and hangs her head, staring at the darkened car mat beneath her throw back The woman's shortened brown hair a mild mess. Ger black tank top clinging to her flesh-freshly bought. The sound of her soft fleece fabric rubbing against the seat as her leg twitches. The stress was weighing on her her. She slowly pulls her hands away from the wheel and rests them on her knees. She leans back into her seat. A faint sigh is heard from her passenger seat.

The woman next to her had pale skin long jet black hair; her bangs draped over her eyes and hiding them from the world. She dons a gray turtleneck, clinging thin pants-possibly yoga pants. Simple black slip on canvas shoes. She stares out of the window, not facing the other. This had to be the Lucy the other woman addressed.

"You knew…" Lucy said in a gravely tone. "At some point...they'd come here, Lynn...we all did."

Lynn groaned.

"No, I didn't! I figured that...fuck; I f-f-figured _someone_ would adapt them. I-I mean, that's why we did it, right? So there can have a better life, right?" Lynn said, sweat budding from her forehead.

"That's what we told ourselves…" Lucy said coldly. "I didn't want to…

Lynn groaned. "But you did-"

"After you lied to me…" Lucy butted in.

Lynn scoffs. "It was a lie to protect you-to protect _us_!"

Lucy slowly turns her head. "Protect us from what…?" she asked in a chilly manner.

Lynn whips her head to Lucy. "I protected us from a life of being young single mothers, having to live in a crummy town raising kids we couldn't even afford to feed! That's what!" She snapped.

Lucy was unmoving. She leans in to Lyn, over the console.

"We traded our daughters away...for a life of shame. For what? Pipe dreams? Your sports career that was doomed from the start because you overworked yourself and ruined your knee? What did I do? Put out one of the most critically panned book series in the last ten years? What do you have? A job you hate. What do I have? No job and debt callers finding my new phone numbers. And you want to tell me you saved us from pain when ten...eleven years down the line...you protected us from nothing?" Lucy said with a quake in her voice.

Lynn is quiet. She looks ahead. She takes a deep breath.

"I was only trying to-" Lynn started softly.

"Save yourself…" Lucy said calmly. "You were trying to save yourself. Not ya career, but your image. Because of a mistake. And that's how you see her…"

Lynn turns to her, gritting her teeth. "Don't you dare…" she growled.

"You saw her as a mistake, lynn-we all know. But you and your pride, you couldn't own up to your mistake so you threw her away like one-"

"SHUT UP!" Lynn yelled as she punches the horn on her car over and over, honks ringing out in the quiet day. "You and I both know we had no choice! What?! Deal with that and be like Lori?! O-Or maybe be freaks like Luan! Hell, she basically raped him! He had no idea he was drugged! And we-"

Are no better…" Lucy said softly. "Didn't we also lie? Trick him? Took advantage of him? You know what he became after that? What we made him into…? That was us...not him...at least, not yet.."

Lynn pauses and covers her mouth, tears and sweat rolling down her face. She was pissed at Lucy, saying such vile things. But she couldn't deny certain parts. She didn't wanna call Lacy a mistake. But deep down, she knew she shouldn't have been born. Lynn knew the moment Lacy was born, she loved her but hated how she came to be. Hated what she had to do to..him. She Didn't just ruin her own life. She ruined her parent's lives. She ruined Lacy's father's life. And worst off...her daughter had no life at all. Lynn lifts her head up and turns to her lift. She freezes. Lucy notices it too.

Across the way, Lupa stares at the car. Lucy and Lynn stop moving. Obviously, the honking alarming her. Lupa, finding the sudden honking strange, stares at the car. Lucy stares at Lupa from inside. It's clear Lupa can't see who's in the car. However, the flags were raised. If Lotown taught her anything, people parked in strange places are watching you and sizing you-seeing if you're an easy mark. Lupa wasn't having it.

She slowly tip toed toward the car. Lynn starts to panic. She turns to Lucy, who was stuck.

"Lupa…" Lucy said shakingly.

Lynn sticks her keys into the ignition. She turns the car on.

"Lynn...please roll down the win-" Lucy started.

"I'm sorry, Luce-not today. Can't do it" Lynn said as she slams on the gas. The car flies off into the street, making a sharp turn. The sounds of screeching tires ringing out. Lupa stood there, cig hanging from her lips. Something is very wrong here.

* * *

Loan lay stretched out on her bed and stared up at the ceiling through a sheen of tears. Her heart raced. Her stomach turned. She could feel icy fingers of panic starting to creep in like fog, fist grazing her soul, checking for weakness, then clutching...tighter and tighter until she could barely breathe. The phone shook in her hand. "I-I don't wanna talk about it," she stammered.

On the other end, her aunt Lori took a deep, patient breath. "Honey, talking about it will make you feel better." Her voice lacked conviction. "What are the nightmares about?"

A black shadow crossed before Loan's vision, and she cringed, expecting to be hit, but no blow came. She raked her fingers through her tangled hair and squeezed her eyes closed. Suddenly she was back in the darkness, her head aching and a monster looming over her. This time she could make out bars, like a jail cell, cool rays of moonlight falling through the slats and making long, cold bars across pink, its feeble illumination just touching the foot of what looked like a stuffed animal.

 _SHUT UP!_

She was losing control. If she didn't get ahold of herself, she would launch into a full-blown panic attack.

Opening her eyes, she fought to regulate her breathing. It was just a nightmare, that was all, not real. She was safe in her room, and her aunt Lori was on the phone.

That was enough to bring her down. "I-I don't know, j-just I'm in the dark and s-something's hurting me." Tears spilled from her eyes and down her cheeks and she took a deep, shivery breath, teetering on the edge of breakdown.

Lori spoke and pulled her back. "Loan," her voice soft and soothing, "y-you don't have to talk about it. Talk about something else. Anything else."

"L-Like what?" Loan asked.

"Something that makes you happy."

Not many things in life made Loan Loud genuinely happy. There were things she liked and things that brought her temporary joy, but nothing she could think of made her truly and unequivocally happy. She swallowed against a lump in her throat and searched her mind, and an image loomed forward like a shape through the fog. "R-Remember the time you took me to the aquarium when I was eleven?" Loan asked.

"I do," Lori said.

As a child, Loan was fascinated by the ocean. She couldn't say why at the time, but looking back, she thought that maybe it symbolized freedom to her, a freedom she did not have; she had not learned to manage her anxiety yet, and had only been put on medication recently. She was trapped in her head and her room more than she was now, and the wide, endless ocean represented an escape. Lori suggested the idea of going to the aquarium in Detroit, and Loan was both excited and filled with dread, the former because she really wanted to go and the latter because being in public, surrounded by seething masses of people, sent her into full blown panic attacks.

It was a Saturday afternoon and the place was packed. Loan's spirits crashed when she saw the crowd - grown ups, old people, kids dragging their parents by the hand and pointing giddily at the sealife in the tanks flanking the aisle. Aunt Lori took her hand, smiled, and said _It's okay, I won't let anything happen to you._ And though they were only simple words, the tempest raging in Loan's heart calmed; everything was okay because aunt Lori was there. She was safe.

Presently she smiled.

"You literally went crazy for the octopus," Lori remembered.

"I liked the octopus," Loan said, "he was cute."

Lori shuddered. "He was freaky looking," she said. "All those legs."

"All the better to hug you with," Loan deadpanned, and they both laughed.

"I would die if that thing touched me," Lori said.

They talked for a little while longer, Loan's nerves uncoiling until she was relaxed and happy. When she finally hung up with Lori, it was after dark, and the hallucinations were completely forgotten.

She didn't know how aunt Lori did it, but she loved her for it.

Perfect.

Lori was perfect.


	7. Box of Secrets

Lupa came into the garage through the exterior door and closed it behind her, matching plumes of blue smoke flowing from her nostrils and lending her the appearance of a dragon arrived to chew bubblegum and eat knights...and it was all outta gum. Ever since the strange sequence with the car across the street, Lupa had been avoiding Rita and the others. Her defenses, which _were_ starting to thaw, redoubled, and she was on high alert. Something wasn't right here and she was going to find out what it was.

She crossed the deserted space and spared an idle glance at hers and her sister's bedding. Liby and Lacy were both on her ass all day about how they were going to find their family and it was starting to annoy her. She had other things on her mind. Not that they knew: She didn't mention the people in the car because she didn't want to worry them without having to. She told herself that it could be nothing, but in her admittedly short time on earth, she developed a pretty keen sense of discernment - it had carried her through many years and many struggles, and she was not going to start ignoring it now.

In the kitchen, Rita sat at the table with her laptop open before her, the blue glow reflected in the lenses of her reading glasses like moonlight on the surface of still waters. She looked up when Lupa entered and flashed a tired smile. "Hi, honey," she said.

Lupa's step faltered and her hackles raised. Honey? What was that, some kind of insult? She knew that's what old wives on TV called their kids, but she wasn't Rita's kid and -

It was nothing. She was being nice. Or pretending to. She didn't know, but she doubted it was a backhanded dig. "Hi," Lupa said and sat, her hands fisting in her lap.

"I'm going to start dinner soon," Rita said, "are you hungry?"

"Not really," Lupa said. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. Rita seemed all nice and Betty Crocker-ish, but you never know what a person really is until you push them. The sugariest, sweetest grandmother can turn out to be a fanged serial killer, and the toughest looking gangster can be the biggest pussy in the world. She didn't want to start an argument, didn't want to potentially risk her calling the cops and having them sent back into the system, but some risks you just gotta take. "I wanted to ask you something."

Rita closed the laptop. "What?" she asked curiously.

Taking a deep breath, Lupa told her about the car. She didn't outright say she thought it was connected to Rita, but she hinted that it was a _little_ strange.

When she was done, Rita nodded understandingly. "That sounds like my sisters-in-law Lynn and Lucy," she said. "They bicker and fight constantly." She uttered a shrap, humorless laugh.

"Why were they parked across the street like that?" Lupa pressed.

"I couldn't say," Rita said. "They were probably planning to come see Lynn but got into an argument and left." She shook her head sadly. "Those two are nutcases."

Lupa considered the old woman's explanation, turning it over and over in her head and looking for weak spots. It seemed...strange, but at the same time, her initial belief that they were casing her out was a bit strange itself. The battered piece of shit they drove sure as hell precluded them from being cops or social workers.

Now that she thought about it, one of the women did kind of look like Rita's husband.

Mystery solved?

She didn't know, but she was going to be on her guard, no more messing around. "I also wanted to ask...you know...how you plan to help us find our family."

Inwardly, Rita cringed. She was expecting this but hoping that the little girl would let it...drop. She knew that she wouldn't. Lupa was cynical, poor thing, but she was extremely intelligent and responsible. That was because she had to be a mother to her sisters.

What should she say? She had already made up her mind that those three girls were home to stay, whether Lynn liked it or not, and whether Lucy or Lynn Jr. liked it or not. Luan wanted her daughter and if the other two didn't want theirs, she would raise them herself. No more institutions, no more fear and uncertainty - they would have as much love, comfort, and stability as she could give them.

That meant she had absolutely no plans to do anything other than eventually tell them. When the time was right.

She had to think of something to cover.

An idea struck her...it was a gamble, but one that she thought would pay off given Lupa's guarded mistrust. "Well," she said heavily, "you said you don't know anything about your family beyond them being in Royal Woods?" She drew the last part questioningly out.

Lupa hesitated then nodded. "Yeah. That's all. Our records were blacked."

"Well, there's nothing that we can do at this point other than file a police report."

She noted the near inpercipble dialiation of Lupa's pupils and the way her facial muscles tensed in alarm, and knew that her gambit worked. Pretending not to see, she went on, "I think that's all we can do."

Thoughts and fears washed through Lupa like poison. They were orphans and runaways. The moment the police found out about them, they would be taken in, even if, say, Rita offered to keep them. She, Liby, and Lacy would be broken up and sent in separate directions and without her, God only knew what would happen to them. She pictured Liby being mercilessly bullied with no one to protect her and Lacy giving into her innate narcissism and doing something really stupid, getting hurt, maybe even dying. Lacy thought she was big and bad but she wasn't - she could run her mouth but she couldn't back it up. Without Lupa, she'd shoot off to the wrong person and catch a jumping. She saw her sister's battered face, broken teeth, black eyes, and blood, so much blood, and she shuddered.

She didn't want that.

"I-I don't know," she said. She remembered Rita breaking down when she told her about the group home. She started to speak, but the words lodged in her throat.

She was going to have to tell the truth.

And expose the soft, pink underbelly of her own vulnerability.

But it was for the best. She had to do whatever it took to protect her sisters. "I'm just...I'm scared they'll take us back to the group home. And break us up." Panic slowly closed around her chest like a fist as she spoke, and her voice took on a trembling quality. "I don't want that."

A soft look of sympathy crossed Rita's face. "I know, dear." She looked like she wanted to say more, but stopped and looked at Lupa strangely. It was only then that Lupa realized she was shaking. Rita frowned and got to her feet. "Honey," she said cautiously, "w-we can hold off on that for a awhile a-and think it over. Certainly until after the party. I know Lizy would love having you there."

Lupa swallowed thickly and nodded. "Yeah." She was cold inside and sick. She needed a cigarette. She told Rita she was going out back, then got up, crossed to the door, and slipped out onto the porch. The late afternoon was cool and breezy, the cloud cover breaking just enough to reveal long, pinkish strands of light. She sat, pulled her cigarettes out of her hoodie, and lit one, the smoke rolling into her lungs.

This was it, she thought, time to decide what the hell she and her sisters were going to do. Rita was absolutely right, the only way they would be able to find their family would be getting the police involved. Unless they printed off a bunch of fliers and posted them on telephone poles and storefronts. She chuckled sardonically to herself. Doubt that would work.

That left her and her sisters at a loss. Where would they go? What would they do? She liked Rita and all, but they couldn't stay here forever...and deep in her heart, she was terrified of Rita asking them to.

She took a drag and looked at the back door when it opened, her shoulders tensing. She relaxed when Lizy came out, her hair tucked under her hat. "There you are," Lizy piped.

"Here I am," Lupa said with a half-smile. She could take or leave everything else, but she liked Lizy. "What's up?"

Lizy shrugged. "Nothing. Just wanted to see if you wanted to play tag or something. I'm bored." She slumped her shoulders and pouted.

Lupa grinned. "Alright. Hide and seek?"

Lizy's face lit up. "Yeah! That sounds _really_ fun!"

"Okay," Lupa said. "You hide, I seek."

"Okay! But you _gotta_ cover your eyes."

"I will," Lupa promised and held her palm over her eyes. Lizy giggled and dashed off, her feet pitter pattering on the deck. Lupa took a puff, held it, and blew it out. "One, two, three…"

Somewhere in the distance, Lizy shrieked laughter. It sounded like it was coming from off to the left.

"...five, six, seven…"

She paused to take a drag, then let it out. "...eight, nine, ten. Ready or not, here I come." She took her hand away, got up, and threw her cigarette to the deck. She stomped it out then went down the steps. She paused, slipped her hands into the pocket of her hoodie, and looked around the windswept backyard. She spotted Lizy hiding behind a big oak tree, half her body sticking out and her visible eye twinkling with merriment. Lupa grinned to herself. Nice hiding spot, kid.  
"Lizy?" she called, playing dumb. "Where are you?" She walked to her left and poked her head around the corner of the deck. Lizy giggled and Lupa turned, her eyes going to the shed across the way. "Are you in there?" she called and started toward it. When she was close to the tree, she jumped around the other side and threw her hands up. "Ahhhh! Got you!"

Lizy started, screamed in alarm, then shrieked laughter and dart away, running toward the porch. Lupa followed, reaching the bottom step just as Leia came out the back door, her face in a scowl. "What's going on here?" she asked tightly and crossed her arms, her hip cocking to one side.

"Me and Lupa are playing," Lizy panted. She laid her hand on the splintered rail and hung her head to catch her breath. Lupa rolled her eyes. Was this bitch really gonna do this right now?

Leia's lips pulled back from her teeth in a sneer. "You shouldn't be playing with her. She's hood scum."

Lupa's jaw clenched. It wasn't being called _hood scum_ that pissed her off, it was the holier-than-thou light in the little girl's eyes and the smug set of her jaw. She honestly thought she was something special because she had a closet full of name brand clothes and a little spending money. Hahaha. How pathetic. She shouldn't let it get to her but she did and she wanted to knock her out so bad her knuckles tingled.

"No she's not!" Lizy cried indignantly. "She's really cool!"

Leia tsked. "I don't want you playing with her. Go inside."

Lizy's jaw dropped in a perfect O of surprise...then snapped closed again, her eyes narrowing defiantly. "You can't tell me what to do."

Leia's face fell a little then she sneered and pointed. "Go in the house now."

Lizy hesitated for a moment, then, deciding it was best to listen to her older sister (who looked _really_ mad), she sighed and looked sadly over her shoulder at Lupa. "I gotta go," she said glumly, "bye."

She turned and trudged up the stairs, past Leia, and into the house. When she was gone, Lupa took a deep breath. "Leia," she said firmly, "you are getting on my last fucking nerve." She was surprised to find that she trembled with the intensity of her anger.

Leia's face hardened. "Stay away from my sister and stay -"

The back door opened and they both looked up to see Lemy stepping out, head down, clad in jeans and a drab olive green coat. He looked up, a tiny smile on his face; it drooped when he saw the two girls and sensed the tension thick in the air. He and Lyra just got here - normally he would have stayed away, but he really wanted to talk to Lupa.

"Hey," he said uncertainly, "what's up?"

"She's been playing with Lizy all day," Leia said sourly.

Lemy blinked. "Oh...okay," he said haltingly. "That's nice."

For some reason, his dumb nonchalance made Lupa snort. So it wasn't just her who thought Leia was being a stupid fucking overreacting bitch.

"No it's not," Leia said and stomped the deck with her foot. "She's a street person and she's going to hurt Lizy somehow, I just know it."

"Bullshit," Lupa said, "we were playing tag and having fun until _you_ came along. You made her go inside and she looked bummed to me."

Lemy's brows furrowed.

"It was for her own good," Leia said.

Lupa shook her head.

Leia started to say something else, but Lemy laid a forestalling hand on her shoulder. "Leia,'" he said gently, and she looked at him, her anger fading a little. His calming and measured tone bespoke sense and wisdom and when he talked that way, he was usually more insightful than his appearance let on. "You're taking this a little too far."

She flinched. "No I am _not_. She -"

"I know you love Lizy and you want to protect her," he said, "I know you're more of a mother to her than your own mom. I get it. But Lupa's not going to hurt Lizy. Neither is Liby or Lacy. They're good people."

That made Lupa blush a little. Good people? She didn't think so (the good part or, feeling like trash so much, the people part either), but being called that felt kind of...nice.

Leia's eyes slitted dangerously. "You don't even know them."

"I know them enough to know that they aren't going to hurt Lizy. Or you."

Lupa looked from one to the other. Listening to them, Leia's shitty attitude made a little more sense. Oh, to be sure, she was still a snooty little bitch, but if she _was_ protective of Lizy, then...alright. Lupa was the same way with her sisters so she couldn't begrudge her that...until her interests and Lupa's clashed.

"You don't know that," Leia repeated stubbornly. She pulled away from Lemy's grasp. "Why are you taking _her_ side?" she jabbed an accusatory finger at Lupa.

"Because she's not in the wrong here," Lemy said. "Neither are you. Listen, I -"

Sighing in disgust, Leia brushed past him and stormed into the house, slamming the back door behind her; the sound reverberated through the evening like the whip crack of a rifle shot. Lemy sighed and hanged his head. He loved his cousin like she was a sister but sometimes she could be stubborn as shit.

He remembered Lupa, and turned, his mind more on the confrontation with Leia now that it was on her. "I'm sorry about that," he said. "She's...she's a little overprotective of Lizy."

Lupa shoved her hands into her pockets, an unconscious gesture of relaxation. A way of letting her guard down. Not keeping her hands out because she trusted that she would not need them to hit someone with. "Is she?" she asked, knowing already, or thinking that she knew, but wanting conformation.

"Yeah," Lemy said, "she goes overboard, but her heart's ultimately in the right place." He went over to the top step and sat with a sigh. He reached into his jacket and pulled out his cigarettes. He shook out output it in his mouth, and lit it. Lupa did likewise. "Don't hate her too much, okay?" he asked, and the pleading edge in his voice touched Lupa. It was obvious that he cared about his cousin.

"I don't hate her," she said, "she's just annoying."

"Sometimes," Lemy admitted.

Lupa took a drag and something occurred to her. "You said she's more of a mother to lizy than Rita. What's up with that? Rita seems...okay."

Lemy nodded and puffed his Maverick. "Yeah, she's alright. She's just…" he trailed off and shrugged. "I think it's just that she's old, you know? Been there, done that, tired out, which makes her not as caring and attentive as a young mother."  
That made sense.

Before she knew what she was doing, she was sitting next to him on the step. For some reason she couldn't name she wanted to learn more about him.

* * *

Meanwhile, inside, Lyra walked into the kitchen, her hands folded in front of her. She wore a simple denim dress and blue slip-on shoes, a silver cross resting in the hollow of her throat. Rita stood at the oven with her back to her.

Lyra had been thinking most of the afternoon about her parents, specifically her father, whom she knew nothing about. She suspected that he was her uncle, but as far as she knew, she didn't have an uncle aside from Uncle Lynn. Mom made a few references here and there, but the one time she brought it up to Lynn, he denied it.

A little too vehemently, now that she thought of it.

Rita looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Hi, dear, Lemy just went outside."

Lyra returned her smile. "Oh, okay. I was actually hoping to talk to you."

Rita turned, wiping her hands on a dish cloth. "Sure. What about?"

Lyra opened her mouth to speak, but didn't know how to approach it. Directly? Beat around the bush? "I was curious about a few things," Lyra finally said, deciding to focus on her mother.

"Like...about Mom and…" she hesitated. "You know, her past."

A stricken expression crossed Rita's face. "Oh. A-Alright. What about?"

Screw it, Lyra decided, she wanted answers and she was going to get them dancing around the subject. "I want to know more about my father." She went with that instead of the uncle thing because they were probably one and the same, and while Rita could deny that she had an uncle, she could not deny that she had a father.

Rita tensed. "W-Well, I-I don't know very much about him," she stammered. "Lynn would." She turned hurriedly away, then, as if deflecting. "Why are you suddenly curious? Is everything okay at home?"

Lyra felt like Rita was trying to change the subject but didn't press. "No, everything's fine," she said, then, "as fine as it can be."

Rita hummed. "Is your mother still seeing that Nazi?"

Lyra's lips puckered in distaste. "Yeah, he's still sniffing around."

"I never liked it," Rita said. "I never liked any of your mother's boyfriends."

"Neither have I," Lyra said and sat. "They're all scumbags."

"I hope you don't date men like that," Rita said, a teasing inflection in her voice.

Lyra adamantly shook her head. "Never," she vowed. "I would date a man who's attractive, sweet, tender, loving, perfect, and amazing." She let out a dreamy sigh. "Like Lemy."

As soon as the words were out she froze. SHe didn't mean to speak them, they just came, the truth slipping out through a chink in the well formed wall of lies. Rita's shoulders tensed...then she relaxed. "He _is_ a good boy," she allowed hesitantly. Then: "I need nutmeg. I'll be back."

Lyra blushed furiously and regretted opening her mouth as Rita went into the living room. Lynn sat before the TV in a crusty wife beat, her legs propped up on an afghan and a can of beer in his hand. He looked over s Rita hurried over. "What now?" he asked sorely.

Rita glanced nervously over her should to make sure Lyra wasn't watching, then said, "I think it would be best if you moved the box from the hall closet."

She didn't need to tell him which box.

There was only one.

Their box of secrets.

Lynn drew a deep sigh and shook his head. "I knew letting those girls in was a damn mistake." He got to his feet and went to the hall closet.

"It's not them," Rita said defensively.

His only reply a sound of disgust. He opened the door, grabbed a box from the top shelf, and carried it upstairs while Rita went back into the kitchen.

In her room, Leia sat in the middle of her bed, arms sullenly crossed over her chest and her face punched in anger. After Lizy, Lemy was her favorite relative, and him choosing Lupa's side over hers hurt. Why did he do it?

Only she knew why. He had a crush on her. Ugh. What did he see in her anyway? She looked like a fish and her hair reminded Leia of dirty snow. Her voice was flat and annoying and her monotonous attitude and robotic personality got on Leia's nerves.

In the hall, her father passed, a box in his arms and Leia lifted a brow. She heard him pull the attic door down, then thump up the ladder. A few minutes later, he passed again.

"Dad?"

He started and whipped his head around like he had no idea she was there. "Uh, hi, Leia..." he said.

"What was in that box?"

"Nothing. Rat poison. Rodents in the attic."

Before she could question him further, he fled, and that's exactly how it felt - like he was running away.

Hmm.

* * *

Out back, Lupa laughed and took a puff of her cigarette. When she and Lemy started talking, she was a little on edge, but now, fifteen minutes later, she was just as at ease with him as she was Lizy. They were talking about their lives - his mother, it turned out, was a piece of shit, and the black sheep of the family. They were poor, barely had any money, and rarely food. She was surprised that he opened up so totally but she was glad he did. She kind of liked him.

Not in _that_ way though.

At all.

"I was wondering," Lemy said, "if, you know, you wanted to hang out at Lizy's party tomorrow."

The girl looks at him for a moment. Lemy noticed this and starts to limit his movements to not look foolish in front of her. Lupa didn't get his angle. He was nice and all, but why hang out with _her?_ She started to believe the boy had a crush on her. Lupa never saw herself as ugly by any means,but she never thought she was worth bringing home. Granted, dudes "complimented" her before, but it was more lustful and gross. Just lewd comments and indundos. However, if she was right about Lemy liking her, she finds motive...somewhat adorable. She further studies Lemy. The boy was still waiting for an answer, still making small movements. She didn't have very deep feelings for him, but the way he stood up for her against his own cousin was kinda endearing.

She takes a slow drag of her cigarette.

"So, what's in it for you?" asked Lupa. trying not to smile.

"H-Huh?" Lemy said as he pinches his cig.

"I mean, why me? Why would you want to hang out with someone you barely even know? Why not Leia?" Lupa asked.

Lemy darts his eyes to the left, slowing his movements.

"No friends to invite over to a kid's birthday party?" Lupa teased, chuckling a bit to herself.

Lemy looks down. Lupa stops chuckling,. Realizing she may have hit a nerve.

"Hey…" Lupa said, looking toward him. "I didn't mean to-"

"N-Nah...it's cool…" Lemy starts. "You're not _too_ far off. I'm not the most popular guy in town...I don't have many friends. Only people I talk is Leia, my sister Lyra and my mom...I mean, when she's sober enough to hold a conversation. I mean, when I first saw you, I just felt...something. Like, maybe you'll know what it's like…"

"What do you mean..?" Lupa asked, slowly creeping closer to Lemy.

"What it's like having people around you...and still feel alone. I just think...you're cool…" Lemy said.

Lupa just goes stiff. She blushed. She could feel it-the heat in her face and her heart skipping a beat. She haven't felt genuine glee like this in...ever. She looks at the boy again. He was looking at his feet and...blushing. She didn't like him that way. At least she didn't think she did. They know little about each other, but she couldn't help but help it. Sappy nonsense and sweet nothings were things she hated, but…

Lupa sighs. " _I'm going to regret this...:"_

"Sure…" Lupa said softly.

Lemy quickly swings his head around. "R-Really?!"

"Calm yourself, bud" Lupa jokes. "It's just a kid's party. We'll most likely smoke and talk shit like what we're doing now"

"Yeah...but it's fun doing that together, right?" Lemy asked, a large smile creeping over his face.

Lupa pushes him playfully. "Shut up" Lupa said with a chuckle.

In the house, Lyra stands at the window at the back door, watching the two young ones talk on the back porch. She was pissed. Her arms crossed and locked tightly. Her eyes sharpened and her nostrils flared. The two didn't know, but Lyra heard everything. Every little word. Noticed every little motion. Her fear is set in stone: Lemy liked this hoodrat.

" _How could he love HER?! What makes her so special?! She never had to change his diapers! She never had to kiss every wound he earned! He never have to cuddle with him at night when he has a nightmare! I did! I held him! I feed him! I kissed him! I get to touch his-s-s...soft, smooth skin and…!"_

Lyra shook her head, perishing the thought. She takes a deep breath and opens the door to the back porch.

"Lemy! It's time-" Lyra started before she grew pale.

Lupa and Lemy turn to look at her, both with cigs in there mouths. Lemy looked annoyed; worried he was going to get a lecture about smoking again. Lupa was more lost. Lyra looks down, not saying a word. Lupa and Lemy looked next to them, seeing their hands were very close to one another. Lupa and Lemy looked at one another, frozen in place.

Lyra leered at the two before focusing on Lemy.

"Time to go...get in the car…" Lyra said coldly.

Lemy sighs and hops up, dusting the rogue ash on his jeans before turning to Lupa.

"See you tomorrow?" Lemy asked, a hopeful smile on his face. Lupa smiles and gives a nod.

Lemy walks up the steps and passes Lyra, not even giving her a passing glance. Lyra stares about Lupa, who passes her a confused look. Lyra says nothing. She simply turns back into the house and walks back inside, shutting the door behind her.

Lupa hops up and walks to the garage, the sounds of a car peeling off hitting the air and the scent of burning rubber wafting about. She enters to see Lacy try and fail at push ups and Liby taking a nap. She looks to Liby and sighs, happy that she's in a peaceful state of mind. She walks over to the middle of the floor and watch Lacy pant harshyly. Lacy corners her eyes, allowing the streams of sweat to pour into her sockets to see her sister. She huffs and puffs and manage to say out in a strained voice "Onnnne...h-hundred!" below falling onto the floor in a pool of sweat, panting and whimpering from the work.

Lupa rolled her eyes, knowing that her sister more than likely only did ten push-ups or have been fuging her numbers. It was sad. Lupa kneels down next to Lacy.

"How's it going, champ?" Lupa asked.

Lacy only groans in pain. How sad.

"Hey, we may have to stay a few days. Ms. Rita said she might be able to help us, but we gotta stay here. Cool?" Lupa asked.

"Too tired to argue-do what you want…" said Lacy weakly as she tries to drag herself to her bedding.

Lupa shrugs it off as she walks to her bed and sits at the foot of it. Lemy. Strange boy. Strange, but nice.

* * *

"What is your deal, Lyra?!" snapped Lemy. "Why are you acting so weird?!"

"Oholah played the harlot while she was Mine; and she lusted after her lovers, after the Assyrians, her neighbors!" shouted Lyra.

"I don't even know what that means!" Lemy shouts back.

The two rode in silence for half of the way back home before Lyra, out of nowhere, shouts loudly and starts spitting Bible verses at Lemy in a accusatory tone. The yelling got so deep, Lyra choice alternate routes just to keep yelling at him. The shouting and discussing got so deep, Lemy finally was mad enough to talk back. Finger pointing, shouting, cursing by Lemy and rebuking by Lyra rolling on from their aunt's house toward the apartment.

"What is your deal?!" Lemy shouted again.

"My deal, Lemy?!" Lyra started. "My 'deal', as you call it, is that you are hanging around with that..that..Jezebel! T-That Rehab! Lilith! That scandalous Delilah!"

"Wait-what?!" Lemy asked.

"She's a whore, Lemy! A street harlot!" Lyra said.

Aw, God, not this Christian crap again. He loved Lyra more than he loved anyone in this world, but he was so sick of the religious song and dance he could fucking scream. You know what? He would never claim to be the smartest guy in the room, but he wasn't slow like a lot of people made him out to be - he studied people, because if you don't know who the people around you are, you don't know shit. He knew damn well how Lyra felt about their mother, and he knew damn well that she had been actively contriving for years to be as unlike her as possible. You think Lyra had some kind of glorious, Biblical-level conversion on the road to Wal-Mart one day? You think an angel appeared to her in the night and commanded her to change her ways lest she burn in hell? No. She just decided to be a Christian one day. She showed up with a ratty pocket Bible she probably found in a gutter and a plastic crucifix around her neck. He remembered Mom rolling her eyes. _What the fuck is_ this?

Lyra responded by misquoting a Bible verse about seeing the light or some shit. The best part was: If he remembered correctly, Mom specifically said _God isn't real and I can't stand people who think he is_ like two days before.

If you asked Lemy, Lyra was not a real Christian. She paid lip service to a brass God she didn't believe in because it set her apart from Mom; she went through the motions of a dance she didn't know very well simply because it was to a different tune than the one Mom danced to.

"Lyra," Lemy said, "Lupa is not a harlot. She's -"

"She's the whore of Babylon," Lyra retorted.

Hot anger bubbled up in Lemy's chest and he closed his hand into a trembling fist. If she was literally anyone else, even Leia, he would let himself snap, but she wasn't, she was Lyra: She loved him, supported him, and did everything in her power to give him what she could where their mother _wouldn't_. "She's an orphan who was abandoned by her parents," he said, his voice strained; the veins on the side of his neck stood out as he fought keep from popping. "She and her sisters are looking for their family."

"She's tempting you to sin. She was practically opening her legs for you."

Lemy blinked in surprise. "What? We were fucking _talking_."

"Language," Lyra said sharply.

For some reason he could not explain, that simple admonishment was what set him off; not her calling Lupa a whore, not her callous attitude; not even her innate and disingenuous Christian shit - her telling him to watch his language like a fucking child...like he was a dumb _Leave it to Beaver_ kid who _didn't_ sell drugs to support them, who hadn't been jumped by other drugs dealers for selling on their turf, who hadn't jumped other drug dealers himself….like he didn't worry over how the electric bill was going to get paid or how he was going to put food on the table for Lyra.

Like the only thing he had to worry about was kiddie shit: Asking little Susie to the spring formal; asking Mom and Dad to re-up his Xbox Live subscription; fussing over the Big Test on Friday - gee willikers.

Flashing, he slammed his fist against the dashboard hard enough to crack it. Lyra jumped. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!" he roared. "You don't fucking tell me shit. I sell drugs and carry a knife so that _you_ can eat; I sling crack to junkies on Pine so _we_ don't sit in the fucking dark. Everyday of my fucking life I have to sit and worry myself sick over how we're going to make it because our mother's a piece of shit and won't stop putting money up her fucking nose."

He was seething, sucking great, shoulder-shaking gulps of air and burning with the intensity of all the hate, pain, self-loathing, sadness, longing, and every other emotion he normally kept locked deep in his chest. He could feel them straining against their bonds like a demonic dog against Satan's leash, and how fucking good it would feel to let them all out, to open himself and pour out the bitter rage he'd been cultivating since he could remember. Some hazy-though-rational part of his brain screamed at him not to...not to Lyra...to literally anyone but her.

They were at a red light now, Lyra gaping at him, jaw slack, eyes wide with horror. He loved her...but she looked so fucking much like their mother right then that he could have hit her. He jabbed his finger at her and she recoiled against the door. "You don't tell me a goddamn thing about my language. I've earned the right to say what the fuck I want and I've earned the right not to listen to your fake-Christian bullshit anymore. I get it, you don't wanna be like Mom. Guess what: Putting on a Dollar Tree cross and name dropping Jesus fucking Christ doesn't make you different. It makes you petty and spiteful. The only reason you do it is to get at Mom. Do you even believe in that shit you talk? You remind me of one of those insincere televangelists who get up in front of a crowd, hold their hand up, and "Praise the Lord!' If you look at their faces, you can see how phony they are...just like I can see fucking phoney _you_ are. You know who else is petty and spiteful? Luna Loud. You know else hates their mother? Luna Loud. You're just like her. Like mother, like daughter. Apple really _doesn't_ fall far from the tree."

For a shocked moment, Lyra didn't move, didn't speak, was frozen in shock at his outburst...then a dark shadow flickered across her face. "I am _nothing_ like her," she spat, her voice dripping with disgust. "I _love_ you, Lemy, and I do my best for you. She doesn't."

The light turned to green and the car behind them honked. Lyra whipped her head away and stomped on the gas, her profile sharp and her lips pressed tightly together.

"I talked to a girl I like and you start throwing that Jesus shit in my face. Between you and Mom, I can't have one fucking minute of peace or happiness. I always have to be miserable, I always have to suffer. Neither one of you can't fucking stand the thought of me not being heaped under a mountain of _shit,_ can you?"

Lyra's face darkened and her hands tightened on the wheel. Her knuckles turned pale and her eyes simmered with an emotion Lemy knew all too well: Hurt. He was hurting her.

He didn't want to.

But she hurt _him._ Luna hurt him. Everyone in his fucking life hurt him, and you know what? Lupa would probably hurt him too. Every single time he tried to reach out to someone, every time he wanted a friend or someone to talk to, to listen, they dicked him over. Maybe not everyone in the world is a piece of shit, but when you have the misfortune to meet one scumbag after another, it's hard to _not_ turn cold and cynical.

"Lemy," she started tightly, "I -"

Suddenly, the fire inside Lemy was gone, cold, dead ash in its place. "Just shut up," he muttered. "I don't fucking care anymore. Play your little Billy Graham games; stay up on your high horse; blindly repeat stupid shit you found in a two thousand year old book pieced together from a bunch of scrolls someone pulled out of the desert. Just fucking leave me out of it."

He sighed and crossed his arms. He was tired now and just wanted to sleep until he was dead.

He did not notice Lyra watching him from her periphery, her mouth turned down in a sad frown and her eyes pooled with pain...and eternal love.

Five minutes later, they pulled up in front of the apartment and Lyra killed the engine. Lemy made no move to get out, and she sighed. "Are you coming?"

Lemy didn't reply.

She waited a moment, then decided to give him space. She unbuckled her seatbelt, threw open the door, and stood. She cast one last longing look at him, then closed the door and went inside, hating herself for hurting him...and hating herself because he was completely right. She _was_ a fraud, she _did_ do the things she did just to spite her mother...but also because she didn't want to be like her. She so desperately wanted to be better and good that it kept her awake at night, going back over her day and picking out instances where she could have been even more unlike Luna.

In the car, Lemy stared out the window, a cold mixture of depression and guilt raging in his chest like a nor'easter. As he watched the entrance, Gwen Myers came out. Aw, God, not this bitch. He started to slouch in his seat, but she spotted him, grinned slyly, and came over. Bending over, she knocked on the window. "Hi, Lemy," she said, her voice muffled.

 _Go the fuck away._

Instead, he drew a deep breath and rolled down the window. "Hey," he mumbled.

She noticed his mood and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said.

"You sure?"

Looking away, he trained his eyes on the dash; a hairline crack zigzagged along its face, reminding him of his recent fury. "No," he said, "I'm not."

For a moment Gwen favored him with soft concern, then she pushed away, went around the front, and slid in behind the wheel. She pulled the door closed behind her and looked at him. "What's wrong, Lemy?" she asked soberly.

He didn't want to talk...he didn't want to be around people right now, especially not an annoying ass fake-hood tough private school bitch like Gwen, but even so, he told her everything.

* * *

Leia sat at the vanity her aunt Lola bought her and brushed her hair with long, savage strokes. In the mirror, her lips were twisted in disdain and her brow knitted with displeasure. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn't help feeling like Lemy abandoned her. He was right in that maybe she was a little harsh, but she didn't like Lizy playing with that street trash Lupa. She and her sisters were probably riddled with every disease known to man. In fact, they probably prostituted themselves to make money. Poor street girls do that, ya know.

Oh, God, what if Lemy chose her side because she...did something to him...for pay?  
That thought sent a shiver down her spine.

Slamming the brush down, she favored her reflection with a sour expression, then got up and went to the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth. As she did, Lizy came in, yanked down her pants, and hopped onto the toilet with a careless disregard for modesty you find only in small children. She stared straight ahead, her features set in a hard glower. She wasn't talking to Leia for _being mean to Lupa._ Leia hated her little sister being mad at her, but it was for the best. Lupa and her sisters were garbage.

When Lizy was done, she wiped, jumped off the pot, and pulled her shorts up, then stalked out with nary a word.

Leia sighed, spat into the sink, finished her toothbrush out, and put it away. She went into her room and started to sit at her vanity again but stopped when she caught a flash of light from the corner of her eye. Beyond the open window, a car pulled to the curb opposite the house, its headlights extinguishing. Leia frowed, crossed to the sill, and looked out. It was past dark and the streetlights were spaced far apart; the car was parked in a pool of shadows, so she couldn't be sure, but it looked like her Aunt Luan.

She waited a moment for the woman to get out, but she didn't.

Hm.

Sitting on the window seat, she waited more, but Luan, if that's who it was, stayed behind the wheel. For some reason, that bothered Leia. Why was she just sitting there? Was it Luan? Or was it someone else?

A terrible idea occurred to her. What if it was a robber casing the house for a midnight burglary? She envisioned her and her family being tied up and held at gunpoint as Lupa, Lacy, and Liby lead a gang of masked men through the rooms. _Ha, they let us stay here now we're stealing everything they have. What idiots._

Anxious now, she leaned over and squinted, hoping to get a better look at who was in driver seat, but saw only darkness. She was really starting to worry.

Momentarily, the engine coughed to life and the car pulled away at a crawl. Leia leaned as far out the window as she could and watched it roll through a spill of light.

It _was_ Aunt Luan's car.

Leia's brow knitted. She thought back to how strangely her father acted earlier. Something strange was going on here and though she had no evidence, she _knew_ in her heart that it had something to do with those three rejects bumming around in her garage.

Disquiet filled her and she drew a deep breath.

Her parents were hiding something.

And she was going to find out what it was.

* * *

Later on, the night hits over the household. Rita turned in early and Lynn Sr has fell asleep in front of the television hours ago. Liena went off to bed, silent as can be as well as Lizy. Lupa and Lacy were in the bathroom, dressed in their night attire. Lupa had on a black t-shirt with the classic Dead kennedys logo on the front and red plaid night pants; Lacy had a tank tank with "WATER GIRL" written on the back, red basketball shorts and long basketball socks.

Lupa at the window she left ajar, smoking a cig while Lacy brushed her teeth. Lupa stares off into the night sky, the smoke from the light tip dancing around the dead space like ghost vapors. The thoughts of the day weighing on her mind. Rita's behavior, the idea of secrets, Leia's hatred-all settling thick on the surface of her mind. She still The light running sound of the sink crashes lightly in the porcelain. Lacy takes her lips to the stream, gearing up to finish up her session and takes a bit of water into her mouth. She swishes it around her mouth and violently spits the brew into the sink, splashing it haphazardly along the side of the sink. The mix of spit and cloudy toothpaste broth scattered droplets on the mirror and a bit on the walls. Lacy wipes her mouth and chuckles to herself evilly. Lupa rolls her eyes at the sound of her sister's laughter.

"Crude…" Lupa said as she takes a drag of her cig. "Childish and crude…"

Lacy turns to her sister and scoffs.

"Seriously?" Lacy said with a chuckle. "What's up?"

"Talking with you, it's usually my blood pressure…" Lupa snark in a deadpan fashion.

"No, really" Lacy said, turning herself around to face her. "What's with you? At first you thought these people where rapist-cannibals and now because you played with some stupid kid, you care about me spitting in the sink and it splashed a little? Have you forgotten why we are here?"

Lupa looks dead at her sister with a very cynical expression. Her eyebrow raised and her mouth slightly agape as a dead plume of smoke lifts from her lips.

"Uhh...I can remember why you and Liby are here…" she started. " _I_ wanted to stay in Lotown. Also…"

Lupa puts out her cigarette, leaving it short and flicking it out of the window. Lacy started motionlessly. Whenever her sister stops smoking without finishing, she knows she's in trouble. Lupa moves from the window and gets up to Lacy, arms crossed and with a serious tone. Her body erect as Lacy quakes.

"Don't you call that child stupid...she's a kid-have some fucking sense…"

Lacy grabs her arm and sighs.

"I-I'm sorry…" Lacy said. Lupa sighs.

"It's fine...I dunno-I played with her so much today. It's hard not to like her a little…" Lupa said.

Lacy gives a look.

"But you hate everyone…" Lacy jokingly says with a slight smile.

Lupa shrugged as she walks to the door. 'Kid's cute-sue me."

As Lupa rested her hand on the door knob, Lacy makes a noise. Lupa looks back to seeh Lacy looking glum. Lupa groans.

'What is it now?" Lupa asked, clearly annoyed.

"Lupa…" Lacy started. "I know you don't care about finding them, but please...is there any part of you that wants a full family? Even a little?"

Lupa was still. All she cared about was Liby, Lacy and herself. No one else mattered. She found the whole idea stupid and aimless. But she really ponders on it. Seeing how this host family acts is strange enough and it's clear something is off about them, but overall, in smaller doses, they can pull off a happy family. Lupa shakes the thought. It didn't matter. Her sisters are her family-that was enough for her.

Lupa stared at Lacy, who waited for an answer. No answer came. Lupa turned the knob and opened the door, and gasp slightly in surprise. Lacy rand to her side and to be face to face with the eldest child: Loan.

Loan stared at to two girls like a deer in headlights and shook like a leaf. Lupa and Lacy silently traded looks at one another before looking at Loan again. The young woman looked like she was about to re-enter her room. The girl had a black t-shirt with what looked like Japanese writing on it, baggy sweats and wool socks. The girl looked tired. Lupa and Lacy wasn't so sure what to say to her.

"Uhh…" Lacy started.

"Ya'wanna-hanginmuhroom-o-o-or sum'in?!" Loan yelped quickly, bothering her words on delivery. .

"Fuck.." mouthed Lupa.

"W-Wha..?" Lacy asked, honestly confused.

Loan gasped and shakes a bit.

"I-I-I-I- said if you t-two would like to..uh, hang out with me a bit..?" Loan said.

Lupa's eyes widen. Lacy was lost. Lupa had only seen her once before and had little to no interaction with her and Lacy hasn't spoken to her at all. The two couldn't help but find the request strange.

"Why..?" Lacy asked reasonably.

Loan looks around and laughs nervously, flashing a creepy looking smile.

Lacy gave Loan a serious look.

"Are you going to rape us?" Lacy asked bluntly.

Loan tensed up and her face kinda fell, obviously offended by the question. Lupa reads the situation and quickly smacked her sister on the back of her head. Lupa steps into the hall and looks at Loan.

"She didn't mean it. She doesn't think when she talks" Lupa says as she turns to her sister, who was rubbing the back of her head.

Loan, not wanting so seems too meek, laughs a fake laugh to make it seemed it didn't bother her, but Lupa could tell very well it did.

"I-It's fine...I asked because I was going to watch an trippy anime and wanted to have some...friends to watch it with me?" Loan said sheepishly.

Lacy finished rubbings her head. "Where's your friends anyway, lady?" she asked.

Loan darts her eyes away. "I don't have any…" she said softly.

Lupa and Lacy gre still.

"Sad" Lacy said bluntly.

"Shut up" Lupa snapped.

Lupa looks at Loan. She seemed harmless.

'Sure...we'll join…" Lupa said.

Loan's eyes widen and a smile crept over her face.

"But-" Lacy started.

Before she could protest, Loan opens her bedroom door to allow them to enter. Lupa looks around the room and saw what she was expecting. Video game and anime posters along the walls, shining like sheets of glass due to the blue light from her desktop computer. Mildly dusty in areas and sticky coffee rigs dimly glaring in the light. Empty cans of energy drinks on the ground, the air from the air causing a few of them to rattle on the floor. Overly sexual anime figures spread about, some of busty woman and other females characters of...suspect age. Clothes everywhere, empty chip bags and even empty pill and e-juice bottles all over the floor.

Typical.

"Wow...fancy pad" Lacy said sarcastically. "Got any drinks for this fancy little party?"

Loan walks toward her desk, looking off to a mountain of dirty clothes. She combs through it and pulls some clothes onto the floor. A small door opens and a whipsy fog of chilly air swamps onto the floor. It was a hidden mini fridge. Loan digs her hand and pulls out a can of craft beer-Legally Blonde. She tosses one for both girl and shuts the fridge door. She turns to the girls and snickers.

"I-I won't tell...if you won't…" Loan said, rubbing her hands nervously.

It's clear to Lupa that Loan is just trying to be nice and cool so they'd like her. Not in a creepy way but in a very insecure way. Lupa walks up and hands the beer back to Loan. Loan gives a worried face.

"I don't drink…" Lupa said.

"O-Oh…" Loan said sadly as she reaches out and takes the beer back.

Lupa hears a pop and hears sipping, Lacy starts drinking hers, pretending to like the taste with a screwface. Lupa ignores her sister and gives Loan a smile.

"However, we'd like to see the film...uh, what's it's called?" Lupa asked, trying to be nice.

Loan perks up and walks to her computer and presents her internet browser window proudly.

"This" Loan said happily.

Lacy walks up to the desk and looks at the window and raised her eyebrow.

"What's a...what does that say…'Loli-con?' Or...wha?" asked Lacy trying to read her search tab.

Loan turns red and moves Lacy out the way, going to her history to clear it. Lacy and Lupa didn't know what it was all about, but it sounds shameful. As Loan ourges her internet history of sin, Lupa looks around some more. She notice two large books. One black and the other brown. Trying to make conversation to clear the sound of Loan's furious panic fueled clicking and typing.

"What's with those books?" asked Lupa.

"T-Tucker C. Darco and Donald Banner!" Loan said nervously as she doesn't move her eyes from the screen.

"Uhh...what are they about?" Lupa asked.

"Banner wrote a story called Breeding Filth-about a strange family who lived alone in dense woods, away from the world where the family is ruled by a jaded tyrant of a father who beats his wives and breeds with his daughters and it turns out the wives are his sisters and that his kids are all ill in some way. Basically showing how the the family eats each other from the inside out, killing each other off as the children's illness grows beyond control and makes the wives have to try to keep their family hidden from the world.." Loan said seamlessly.

Lacy just froze, finding that description for the book to be unsettling. Even Lupa is speechless.

"And...the other one..?" asked Lupa nervously.

"Darco wrote If God Had A Flask. It's about a troubled boy who comes home from a detention center to see his family fall about and him having to come to terms people are broken and that he is not special because no one is. It's a good story about change in a family after a event that causes the family's dynamic to shift dramatically. He was suppose to write the second book, but he passed…" Loan said as she deletes other questionable tabs.

"Shit…" Lacy said. "How'd he die?"

"Rumor has it he was walking around drunk through his home town for four days, drugged out of his mind, rambling about death and how he's ready to embraced it. He was found in a gutter-OD'd. No one know what all he took but can say he drunk a lot and had high amounts of cocaine and was a know user of acid. It's anyone's guess what took him out first" Loan ended.

Lacy and Lupa traded looks and shared the same thoughts: when passionate, Loan isn't very nervous. That and her taste in books and authors are strange.

Lupa looks around again, looking for something less depressing. She pauses. She walks over to the fair end of the room. There was a picture of Loan shyly holding a beer in a picture with a beautiful blonde women who had a martini in her hand. Lupa was taken aback by the woman's beauty. Almost in a jealous fashion. She turns her head over to Loan.

"Who's the babe?" asked Lupa.

Loan turns her head and noticed who Lupa was talking about. Loan stops everything and walks over, holding herself.

"T-That's my Auntie Lori...isn't she great?" Loan gushed.

"She's pretty…" Lupa said.

Lacy, sipping the courage and peaking her curiosity, walks over to see the pic of Lori. She chuckles to herself.

"She's cute. Not my type, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed" joked Lacy.

Loan turns to Lacy and scoffs.

"How dare you!" she nearly yelps. "She's a great woman! Beautiful, smart, kind, caring, a business woman with acclaim and always the life of the party" Loan preached. "She's simply the greatest woman ever to be crafted! How dare you mock her!"

Lacy is taken aback, but at least her shared thought with Lupa was right: no stuttering when passionate. Lupa looks at Loan, who was teary eyed and sweating a little.

"You seem pretty passionate about her" Lupa said.

Loan looks at the picture and smiles.

"She took me out that night. It was my twenty-one...I d-don't like going out alot...she was very kind.." Loan starts. "S-She always has. I-I'm not as cool as her or as smart or as pretty or interesting, but...she put a lot of her time in me. _Me_. Out of everyone...I dunno-I just feel..l-like I'm special to her. She's treated me with such love as far as I can remem-"

Loan stops. Lupa stares.

"Loan?" Lupa asked.

"Is..she okay?" Lacy asked, moving closer with a concerned look.

" _If you cry again, I'll put you back in the box! So help me God!"_

Loan shutters and holds herself, nearly falling to her knees. She looks at Lupa and Lacy, afraid they'll lose interest and leave her alone if she doesn't get a grip. She smiles at them.

"H-Hey…" she started. "S-Sorry for fangirling. W-Why don't we start that m-movie?"

Loan shuffles away to the computer. Lupa shared looks with Lacy, who shrugs and walks behind Loan, not question what just happened.

"Did she just have a panic attack..?" Lupa thought to herself. She just lets go and walks over with them.

Loan finally found the movie and widen the window, showing s paused video. It was indeed an anime. Lupa had a passing interest in anime but Lacy shared no interest at all. If she didn't have so much pride, she'd drop that beer and leave. Loan sits on her bed as do the other to and look at the screen. Granted, they have a very big day tomorrow-a little girl's birthday party with a family they don't even know. Lupa is away but feels like it's not too bad to kick back and enjoy a little time to enjoy a film.

Whatever Perfect Blue is about…

* * *

" _Mommy...please...let me out! It's dark in here!"_

" _Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!"_

" _Mommy, please! I don't want to go to heaven yet!"_

" _Shut! Up! Go to sleep!"_

" _I can't! Let me out of the box! I'll be good! I'll be quiet!_

" _Stop breathing you little-!"_

 ***vvvvvvvvvvrrr!***

 ***vvvvvvvvvvrrr!***

Lori quickly opens her eyes. The dim light of a lamp beaming on the right side of her face. She looks down to the palm of her hand to see her cell phone, vibrating. Lisa was calling. She slowly flicks the green icon, answering the phone. She brings the phone to her ear.

"Hello?...yeah….yeah...I'll...I'll be going to the party. Uh, a card...and stuffed snake, I know Lizy likes animals….yeah...I'm sure everyone will be happy to see you...Still no call from the youngest?...Yeah….I know….I don't blame either of you...Lisa, I hate to do this but I have literally you much on my mind and I have to go right now….yeah…"

She hangs up.

" _Auntie Lori! I bet being a business woman is hard..I wish I was strong like you…"_

Lori sighs and looks at herself. Simple blue dress attire. As a telemarketer, going all out didn't really matter to her. She can already feel her hair was a mess; didn't even have to look. She looks at her surroundings and groans. She was on her sofa in her living room, her groans echoing slightly in her large but empty house. The house is clean and neat, nothing out of place. Signs of no youthful live breathing within the house. Lori looks in front of her to see her coffee table.

Empty bottle of wine, half empty wine glass. A bill of bills and final notices on one side of the table. Her purse, checkbook and bottle of vicodin-refilled. A adoption rejection letter and, on the table and flooding onto the floor, pictures of her and Loan. From her as a baby to her now.

Lori sits up, staring at the picture. One picture popping from the center. It was a picture of Loan in the hospital with Lori sitting next to her hospital bed. The two are hugging and smiling. However, Lori is also crying in the picture. Lori reaches out and grabs the picture and stare at it.

" _Auntie, thank you for calling me!"_

" _You're so nice to be, Auntie Lori...I-I-I don't even know w-why you bother with me…"_

" _I wish I could look as pretty as you…"_

" _I love you, Auntie Lori..._

That day. The day where Auntie Lori was born.

"I love you too, Loan….I'm a monster…" Lori said to herself softly as tears ran down her face, falling onto the picture.


	8. Before the Party

Lupa rolled over, raked her fingers through her tangled white hair and squinted into the darkness, knowing already that she wouldn't be able to see Lacy next to her but trying anyway - she was barely awake so she wasn't thinking clearly and figured why not? Maybe breathing in the scent of motor oil and mildew gave her superpowers or something. When she saw only the fuzzy blackness of an entirely lightless space, she reached out, her her fingers brushed across one of Lacy's tiny breasts. Ew. She didn't pull away, though, she crept her hand across her sister until she felt the reassuring rise and fall of her chest. Lupa had no tangible reason to expect anything else, but she worried nonetheless; she wouldn't put it past Leia to sneak in and try something in the night.

Actually, she would, Leia was a prissy little princess and committing homicide would break her nails or something. Lupa didn't know - she was barely awake as she had been for...a while. In the garage, shut off from the rest of the world, with no windows, time had of way of ceasing to matter. She remembered something about black holes she learned in school, and this place sure as shit fit the bill.

That's not to say she didn't like it...she kind of did. Nothing mattered in the deep and endless dark. It was like death, in a way. No worries, no schedules to keep, no places to hurry up and be, just the sweet bliss of the void.

She cracked a sardonic grin at how edge-fucking-tastic that sounded. In her defense, she figured she could get the same things on a tropical vacation: Sitting on a beach with a coconut half, toes in the sand, surf in her ears, and nothing to do but relax.

That sounded nice.

Sitting up, she yawned. What time was it, anyway? In the group home, the day started promptly at six, when one of the staff members came in to wake you, often by shining a flashlight in your eyes and barking a cold, utilitarian, "Time to wake up." Since leaving, she, Lacy, and Liby had been sleeping later and later every day, which was actually pretty sweet. At first she kind of assumed she'd keep her routine because sleeping in bothered her - good way to waste your day - but she quickly took to the idea of not getting up at a set time.

Getting to her feet, she shuffled to the connecting door like a zombie, arms outstretched to detect obstructions and a groan building in the back of her throat. Only instead of _brains_ it was _coffee._ She felt for the knob, found it, and went into the living room: Bright, early morning sunrays cascaded through the front window and bathed the space in warm autumn hues. Light spilled from the kitchen, and the sound of the running sink told her Rita was up and rattling around.

Lupa pulled the door shut behind her and started across the dining room, but came to a sharp stop when Lynn emerged from the kitchen, a tray of snacks in his hand and a hard glower on his face. He sat them on the table, turned to go back, and saw her; he tensed slightly and his expression flickered like a flame in the wind, going from an angry scowl to something next to alarm. Lupa's stomach twinged and she suddenly felt about as comfortable as a woman locked in an iron maiden. Lynn didn't look much better off - he stood there stiff as Al Gore, looking for all the world like the BEFORE guy in a Preparation H commercial, his eyes not downcast but not looking at Lupa, either; they gazed slightly to her right, as though he were looking not at her but the ghost girl beside her. "Good morning," he said gruffly. He sounded like he'd rather be talking to anyone else.

"Good morning," Lupa said.

They faced each other like awkward former-best-friends years after a falling out, then he turned and fled. That was the only way Lupa could describe it: Fled.

She stood in place a moment and considered going back into the garage, but she if she didn't get her coffee, she'd die. Literally.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath, she went into the kitchen: Lynn stood on a chair tacking a big banner with HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the wall, head down and shoulders scrunched defensively, and Rita stood at the stove, a tray of muffins before her. She stepped back, opened the over, and shoved them in. Lupa hesitated, not wanting to bum rush the coffeemaker like she owned the place, then said fuck it bum rushed the coffeemaker like she owned the place.

"Good morning, dear," Rita said as Lupa filled a mug with brew.

"Morning," Lupa said.

Rita took a box of cake mix from an overhead cabinet and sat it on the counter. "How did you sleep?"

"Good," Lupa said. She turned, leaned against the countertop, and took a tentative sip, the liquid hot on her lips. She watched as Lynn pressed one end of the banner in position then drove a thumbtack through, pinning it to the wall. He got down, pushed the chair into the table, and hurried out, taking every caution to avoid looking at her.

Looking around at her workstation with a stricken air, Rita said, "I need the chocolate icing from the pantry. Can you get it, please?"

"Sure," Lupa said. She sat the mug down, went to the pantry, and opened the door, scanning the shelves for the icing but not seeing it. She saw everything else in the world, though: Snack cakes, cookies, crackers, Cheese Nips, fifty different kinds of boxed dinners ( _that glove with the big red nose is smiling at me...what a creep_ ), cans of soups and broth. Jesus, it made the pantry back at the group home look bare by comparison.

When she finally spotted the icing on the top shelf, she lifted to her tippy toes, grabbed it, and carried it over, sitting it next to the cake mix "Thank you, honey," Rita said. Lupa started to reply, but stopped when Lynn came back in, his arms filled with crap: Packages of balloons and paper plates, cups, plastic silverware, miscellaneous things that Lupa supposed constituted the typical birthday party. He dropped them onto the table in a flood and looked down at them like he had no idea what the hell to do next.

"Oh, I forgot the sprinkles in my purse," Rita fretted. She shoved away from the stove and disappeared into the dining room, Lupa looking quizzically after. Sprinkles...in her purse? What, did she steal them or something?

Shaking her head, she grabbed her coffee and took another sip, only then realizing that she was alone with Lynn. He loomed over the table with his hands on his hips and looked like his hemorrhoids were worse now - guess that H didn't do much for him. The atmosphere grew heavy as though a storm were brewing, and when he spoke, she stiffened a little in surprise. "Party's gonna be fun." His voice was stilted and halting, putting her in mind of a man making conversation with someone he didn't know the first thing about.

"Looks like it," Lupa replied uncomfortably.

He didn't say anything more, and she was beginning to think he gave up. "So...uh...you-you like reading? There are some books in the attic if you want. Stephen King, Dean Koontz, crap like that."

"I don't really read," Lupa said.

"Oh," he said, sounding surprised. "Uh, well, I can set up the old DVD player in the garage if, uh, you want. My sister Lucy left a bunch of her DVDs here. Horror stuff."

Lupa took another sip. She didn't like horror - why sit down and watch people hurting and being miserable when she could just turn and look at her sisters? "I'm not really into horror, sorry."

Humming, Lynn nodded to himself. "W-What _do_ you like?"

She started to reply, but realized that she had nothing, zip, nada, zilch. She didn't watch TV often because at the group home, someone else always had control of it; she didn't listen to much music because the residents weren't allowed to have radios (she did kind of like oldies...it all sounded so innocent and carefree, which made her think the world itself must have been innocent and carefree at some point). Come to think of it, she didn't like much of anything. That wasn't some 3edgy5me bullshit - _uh, the world is bleak and overcommercialized, uh_ \- it was her not knowing what there was to even like. "Swimming," she finally said. The last group home she and her sisters were at had a pool and, every once in a while, the staff would let them use it. Water was nice - it made her feel light and weightless, the way she imagined a bird must feel as it soared high above the world.

"Swimming," Lynn said. "Yeah, swimming's nice. Have you, uh, ever been to Lake Michigan? The swimming's really good there. Lots of, uh, water."

Lupa shook her head. "No, I've never been there."

Neither one of them spoke again until Rita came back in a few moments later, a container of sprinkles clutched in one hand. "I'm always forgetting things in my purse," she said with a nervous laugh. Yeah, she stole them, had to.

"Weird place to keep sprinkles," Lupa said, and followed Lynn with her eyes as he left. In the dining room, he drew a heavy sigh. He didn't know why, but the fact that he knew nothing about his own granddaughter, couldn't even talk to her, bothered him greatly. Letting Lupa and the others in was a mistake, but, over the past couple days, he'd come to wonder if pushing them out wasn't a mistake too. Rita cried when she told him about what Lupa said in the kitchen the day before. _The poor thing's so cynical...and she's only twelve._ Lynn wasn't a heartless man, and that knowledge had been eating away at him since the previous afternoon.

He was confused, conflicted, and felt like he didn't know anything anymore. He normally kept a tight grip on himself and his home, but that grip was slipping and he just didn't know. He needed time to process everything.

Lupa stood along the wall in the kitchen, sipping coffee and watching Rita work on her cake. As Rita sat the obviously stolen sprinkles on the counter, Lupa stared at the cake to see the ingredient: Cake mix, white sugar, all-purpose flour, baking soda, baking powder, a couple of eggs, milk, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, butter, cocoa powder-unsweetened, confectioners' sugar, and of course-the sprinkles. Lupa stared at the large list on the counter and simple scoffed. What person waste an hour or more on something like a birthday cake? So much time and energy to make something look pretty and eye pleasing only to get ripped to bits by saw-toothed knives and toddlers mitts. Seemed like a waste. Still, for whatever reason, Lupa kinda...wanted to make the cake. Not in any corny way for the family but just so she'll have another skill to help her sisters. At least, that's what she told herself.

Rita didn't turn her head to her, but knew Lupa was watching her. Not a judgemental way. She was curiously watching and sipping coffee. Rita has felt that Lupa has been getting very comfortable the last few days. Even managed to befriend Lizy and Loan, from their muffled laughter upstairs last night. Rita recalls her and Lynn Sr waking up in the middle of the night as her, Loan and Lacy were up there, joking and laughing. Lynn Sr wanted to go up there and tell them to be quiet, but she told him to let them, have fun. She slept with a smile. Even now, she can't help but smile, seeing her granddaughters happy. Lupa was a very sad child. This is true.

But it made her even happier Loan finally connected with _someone_. Rita knew what that child has been through…

However, she thought about Lemy for a moment as she mindlessly pours the cake mix info a stainless steel mixing bowl. She noticed Lupa and Lemy were getting a tad...too close. She wants to say something but what could she really say? "Sorry, you two are basically brother and sister so you shouldn't get any ideas." Yeah, that's a real good idea if she didn't factor that she's lied to all of her grandchildren for years about their origins. Letting Lupa know she was abandoned by _this_ family and tell Lemy she's not really his aunt would cause an unpatchable rip in this already fragmented family. And Rita can't see herself being the doom-bringer.

Not to mention how Lyra acted the other day...Rita wanted to shiver. But resist, knowing she is being watched. She quiet the storm and remembered: she had to make this work. She wants to be involved and try to help. She takes a deep breath. " _Be a grandmother, Rita Loud…."_ she thought to herself.

"Oh, Lupa?" Rita said, smiling but still not looking toward her.

Lupa sits down her coffee.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Would you care to help me with the cake?" asked Rita. "It might go faster is I had some extra hands"

"Uhhh…" Lupa said, unsure how to tackle this.

"If you're not used to baking. I could help. Plus, I'm sue Lizy would appreciate it" Rita added.

Lupa thought about it. She got to learn a new skill-possibly a survival one. Then she thinks about Lizy. Lupa did have fun with her. Kid's a sweetheart. Pure. Doesn't know how shitty the world really is yet. Least she could do is make the kid a cake. It _is_ her birthday. Lupa felt like she was going soft, but she shook the feeling. For the kid.

"Uh, sure. I guess I could help make a mess.." Lupa tried to joke as she walked over to Rita.

"Great!" Rita said. "Wash your hands and we'll get started!"

Leia awakes. She sits up and gives a faint yawn. She looks to her side., Lizy wasn't there. She looks across the room to shee the toddler still asleep, snoring softly. Leia sighed to herself. Clearly Lizy was still upset with her about her behavior. Leia hops out of bed and stares over, wanting to wake her up or hug her at least, but refrained. She went through the motions of her typical morning. She puts on her clothes: this time something a tad more casual: A white Imperial tee shirt with gold logo ($150), black Kandi lamb skin legginggings ($900), Lucki pure white shere sneakers ($600) and an iced Cuban Link bracelet ($2K). Saying her Aunt Lola spoils her is an understatement. She resumes to sit at the vanity, takes care of her hair , then leave the room for the bathroom. She notices the floor and see two lights creeping from the cracks of two doors: Liena's room and Loan's room. Leia raised an eyebrow. Loan NEVER has the lights on in her room. Ever. How bizarre. Leia makes her way to the bathroom, washes her face, brushes her teeth and lotions her hands and arms. She leaves the bathroom and makes her way downstairs. She stops at the bottom step, hearing voices. Her mother and Lupa.

"Very good mixing, Lupa!" It was her mother.

"Thanks, …" That was Lupa.

Leia walks into the kitchen, seeing her mother and the white haired stranger near the counter. Rita turns to her "daughter", cake mix lightly powdered on her shirt. Lupa turns, mixing a bowl of batter, still stirring as the room fell silent.

"Morning, Leia-" Rita started.

"Why is _she_ in her?" asked Leia bitterly.

Lupa smirked.

"Oh, just doing something people used to do" Lupa said.

Leia raised an eyebrow.

"Baking cake..?" asked Leia.

"That...and minding my own fucking business…" Lupa stabbed.

Leia groans. Rita looks at Lupa concerned. Lupa noticed this and sighs.

"Sorry for the language, Mrs. Rita…" Lupa nearly mumbled.

Leia scoffed at the action.

"Foul-mouthed filth like you have no business touching human food, you know…" Leia snarked.

Rita stared at Leia, ashamed at her behavior. She didn't know they didn't get along. Lupa stares at the batter and smiled.

"I dunno…" she said as she sat the batter on the counter and takes a nearby spoon and dips it lightly into the bowl. She takes the sweet and rich batter to her lips and licks the spoon. She taste for a moment before looking dead at Leia. "...I'm pretty sure Lizy will absolutely _love_ it."

Leia's face glows red with heated and righteous anger.

"You...y-you...you...yoooou...YOOOOU-" Leia powered up.

*DING DONG!* *DING DONG*

The doorbell.

Finding this a good time to kill the bad air in the room, Rita turns to Leia and points to the front door.

"Leia, could you see who that is?" Rita said quickly, nearly stepping over her words.

Leia said nothing more. Her fist balled, her eyes sharp and her teeth almost ripping the soft flesh of her lips visible, she stomps off to the door.

" _Spoiled ass…"_ Lupa thought to herself before turning her attentions back to the older woman. "What's next, Mrs. Rita?"

As the sounds of her mother and the villian Leia wished would just disappear resume speaking and cooking, Leia, mumbles to herself as she opens the door. She pauses.

It was her Aunt Luan.

"A-Aunt Luan…" Leia said softly.

Luan flashed a terse smile. "Hi, Leia." The effusively cheerful inflection ever present in her voice sounded odd to Leia, as though it were being forced rather than allowed to come naturally. Her eyes, clear and filled with light on most days, were dark and brooding, dark bags underneath suggesting a long, sleepless night and her sallow skin corpsy. That was the only word Leia could find to describe her pallor: Corpsy. Like she was dead.

She wore a pair of jeans and a black turtleneck sweater that clung tightly to her ample breasts. The fabric was rumpled and dotted with white bits of lint, as if she plucked it from the dirty clothes hamper. Luan did not put the same care and attention into her appearance as Leia did - of course, Luan didn't look up to Lola the way Leia did, and Lola _always_ looked nice - but she never looked like a slob.

Today, she did.

The two faced each other for a long, tense moment and Leia metaphorically sniffed the air between them. Luan was the type of person who lightened the mood when she walked into a room, but now, the atmosphere around her was heavy and cold - she reminded Leia of a woman showing up at a funeral instead of a little girl's birthday party.

Luan's smile widened just a fraction of an inch. There was no warmth in it, no good humor. Like her voice, it was manufactured, a front. "Can I come in?" she asked.

Realizing that she was blocking the door, Leia stepped aside and Luan entered. She went straight to the kitchen, and Leia watched her go with a critical lift of the brow. Something was wrong with her.

Being a human being with what Leia assumed was a fairly average life, Luan wasn't a perpetual ball of sunshine. Sometimes when she came over, she was worried - perhaps about bills or her boyfriend (if she had one) cheating on her - but the character of her current state didn't sit well with Leia. Maybe she was getting paranoid, but with everything else that had been going on recently, she was _sure_ that it had to do with those ghetto trash girls.

Resentment knotted Leia's chest, and her fingers curled hard around the doorknob. Her life wasn't perfect before they showed up, but it was manageable. She knew its ins and outs and felt like she was in control as much as she could be. Ever since _they_ came, however, things had taken a sharp turn for the strange, and right now, it occurred to her that she no longer felt like she was in control. No, now, she felt like a girl flailing in a dark and stormy sea, moments from slipping beneath the choking waves and disappearing forever. Why her world went crazy the moment they turned up on her doorstep, she did not know, but it was _definitely_ their fault.

Shutting the door, she resolved to talk to Lola when she got here. No one else in this stupid family got it, but Lola would. Lola understood her.

* * *

In the garage, Lupa stood in front of her sisters, both of whom sat on their makeshift beds with sleepy expression. "Everyone's starting to show up," Lupa said and shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. She fiddled nervously with her cigarette pack and couldn't bring herself to look into Lacy or Liby's eyes for fear they would see something she didn't want them to see, something that she wanted no one to see. She didn't know what to call it, but it was unlike anything she had ever felt before, a mixture of hope, contentment, and...other emotions she could not name.

Despite it all...she was coming to really like Rita...and to like being here.

And that was fucking terrifying.

Lupa did not delight in being dour and hard - does anyone? - but she honestly saw no other way to be. A pretty little princess like Leia, safely absconded behind the walls of her castle, did not need armor, but Lupa, always on the field of battle, did. Maybe that was a strange analogy, she didn't know, she didn't know much of anything anymore. The point was: Some people luck into smooth sailing in life, while others fight their way through tidal waves, sea monsters, and bullshit every step of the way. She learned long ago that if she was not hard-shelled, she would quickly die - maybe metaphorically, maybe literally.

Her motto was, and had long been: I don't give a shit. Her reasoning was: If you don't care about something, how can it hurt you? She kept her expectations low, that way she was never let down, and she regarded everyone who was not Liby or Lacy as either an outright enemy...or coldly indifferent. How could she not? That's all she'd ever known, especially from adults. Deep down, so deep that she could overlook but never truly forget, she wanted to be happy, trusting, and all that other gay shit. Being here, with Rita and the others and having domestic bliss shoved down her throat, her armor was cracking and her pink, quivering underbelly was showing through. Her pink, quivering, soft, exposed, _stabbable_ underbelly. If it all came out, if she allowed herself to trust Rita or anyone else, to have faith and hope...and got shived instead...she didn't think she'd recover.

Part of her wanted to get the hell out of here before that happened, but another part, a part that she was horrified to discover was much larger than the first, wanted to bask in the warm, fuzzy feeling like a cat in a bar of sunshine. She was torn, confused, and afraid, and, she feared, it shone plainly in her eyes.

She chewed her bottom lip. "Just, uh, make sure you guys are on your best behavior."

This directive, this _plea,_ was born not because she thought her sisters would cause undue problems, but because, she thought, she was worried they'd somehow mess this up. Their standing here, she believed, was precarious, as a narrow ledge high above a city street. These people were not family, and no bonds existed between her, Lacy, Liby, and them. Saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, could be the gust of wind that knocked them off.

She shouldn't care - no one in her life had ever given a shit, so why think Rita and the others would? - but she did and she couldn't help it.

Lacy rolled her eyes. "What are we, five? We know how to act, Lupa." There was a wounded undertone in her voice that she struggled and failed to hide.

"I know," Lupa sighed. "There's just gonna be a bunch of people here that we don't know and that makes me nervous."

For a moment, Lacy considered her words and their implication, then nodded, mollified. "Okay, yeah, we'll be fine. Won't we, Lib?" She swatted Liby's arm with the back of her hand, and Liby jumped.

"Y-Yeah, we'll be fine," she said and smiled wanly. Anxiety was clear on her face, but a tiny light touched her eyes. Last night she prattled on and on about how excited she was to see Luan. Lupa was worried for herself, but even more worried for Liby; she took to Luan quickly and deeply, thus if something went wrong, she'd likely be devastated.

Lupa sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Her sisters, and her sense of responsibility to them (indeed, her love for them) had seen her through the worst times in her life; if she focused on being there for them, she could get through anything, even... _this..._ falling apart.

* * *

Upstairs, Leia sat stiffly next to Liena on the edge of Loan's unmade bed and wrinkled her nose at the smell of mold permeating the room. Empty cans, dirty plates, and sticky glasses covered the computer desk, the nightstand, and the dresser; crumbs were ground into the matted carpet; and a pile of clothes (some dirty, some clean, knowing Loan) was heaped in a corner.

Loan stood before them in a sweater and jeans, both of which were surprisingly free of stains. This was how she dressed up - normally she kicked around in sweatpants so grody they could stand up on their own. Her hair, usually a tangled rat nest, was neatly combed and pulled back in a ponytail. She wore just a _hint_ of red lipstick and blue eyeshadow, and her skin, normally as corpsy as Luan's was earlier, glowed with the ruddiness of life. She only did this when Lori came over...which was a shame; cleaned up, she was beautiful.

"Alright," she sighed and wrang her hands, "Lori's going to be here any minute, so I want you guys to be on your best behavior."

Every time Loan knew Lori was coming over, she worried herself sick that Leia, Liena, or Lizy would do or say something to make her look bad. It used to offend Leia, but Lori meant as much to Loan as Lola did to her, so she tolerated it. "We will," she said, straining to keep a hint of annoyance from her voice.

"I want everything to be perfect," Loan said more to herself than to them. She looked around the room, and the flush in her cheeks faded. "I gotta clean this place up." She turned back to Leia and Liena. "Go...do something," she fretted and shooed them away. "Make sure the house looks nice."

* * *

On the front door step, Lynn took a deep breath and stole a furtive glance at Lucy to see if she was as wound up as she was. The younger girl's face, like always, showed no emotion - it was as neutral as Switzerland during World War II.

Good for her.

Lynn, on the other hand, was so twisted with nerves she could barely keep from shaking. On the other side of that door was Lacy, the daughter she gave up and thought she would never see again...a stark reminder of the worst mistake she ever made. Last night, lying wide awake in bed, she tried to tell herself that it wasn't Lacy's fault, that she needed to stop blaming her, suck it up, and be a mother, but for once in her life, she wasn't confident in herself. She didn't know if she could do it - didn't know if she could let go, didn't know if she could even _be_ a mother.

"Are you going to knock?" Lucy asked impatiently.

"Stop rushing me," Lynn spat. "I'm amping myself up."

"You're stalling, Lynn" Lucy said on the tailend of one of her trademark sighs. "I can tell by your stance."

Lynn didn't have to look down to know she was stiff as a board and shaking like a leaf, the fear of facing what she has to face laying on her think. Every unpleasant sin she caused mounded the weight on her back like feeding a barbell. She always dreaded a situation like this. She knew one of these days, it would happen but dammit all-why today? Why now? She wasn't ready. But now, rather she was ready or not, it did not matter. She sighs and slowly reached out to knock only for the door to open up, causing Lynn to flinch and gasp from the surprise. On the other side was Luan, looking like she was just got down crawling herself out from beneath the earth.

"Whoa…" said Lucy stiffly.

"Jeez…" said Lynn as her body recoiled. "You look like hell. What, been hanging out with Luna or something?"

Luan was unimpressed.

"I was watching you from window, Lynn" Luan remarked. "You looked like you were going to piss yourself."

Lynn turned red at the remark and gritted her teeth. Luan was unmoved; merely stepping aside to let the two inside, Lynn and Lucy walk into the house and both seemed to have paused, sampling the air of the place. Stiff. What they feared. All three made their way into the dinning room, where their mother was sitting. Waiting for her cake to bake, Rita knew this had to be the time to remind her daughters not to do anything crazy. Especially Luan. She take a slow and steady breath.

"How are you girls?" Rita asked calmly.

No response from any of them. She expected this.

"Look…" Rita started. "They...are in the garage. They are going to help set everything up. And...if you want to speak to them, I can't stop you but for the love of God-don't lose your minds and say something you'll make ALL of us regret. Please?"

Lucy nods slowly.

"Uh, yeah...sure" Lynn said.

Luan didn't move. She didn't speak.

"Luan-" Rita started.

"I just want to...c-could I just-" Luan started.

"Now is NOT the time, Luan. You know that…" Rita said.

Luan looks down.

"Promise me you won't do anything crazy" pleaded her mother.

The woman gave a sniffle and nodded her head, not looking away from the floor. Lucy and Lynn turned to Luan, wanting to comfort her but both didn't know just what to do or even say. So, they just sat there. Rita studies her other two daughters. Lucy was just...well, Lucy. No cracks underneath. She could never get a read on her. She knew Lucy had feelings but she never really emote. She then turns her attention to Lynn. Guilt. That was all she saw looking at her. It took a while for it to set in, but after losing her chance of stardom all those years back, she had time to stew on her choices and realized the one she made may have been an awful one. Now, here she was, getting ready to confront that mistake.

Rita rubs her temples.

"Okay…" she starts. "Lucy, take Lupa and have her set the tables for drinks and snacks outside. Luan, you and Liby can help me in the kitchen to finish the snacks. And Lynn-you're strong. Have Lacy help you set up the chairs. Okay?"

They all nodded. They stood up and made their way to the back door. As soon as they do that, footsteps are heard. Coming down the steps was...some woman? Rita was surprised at this. She looked at the girl for a moment. Cute sweater. Crisp jeans. Ponytail. The muted tints of blue eye shadow and minor coat of lipstick. She was young and beautiful.

"Lori…?" said Rita softly, still unsure who she was even looking at.

The girl turned to her, starry eyed and with a bright smile. "Y-You really think so?!"

Rita snaps to reality. That wasn't her daughter-but her _daughter's_ daughter.

Rita chuckles. "I-I'm sorry, Loan. You just looked so much like your mother at that age…"

Loan smiled. "So you used to look like this too?!"

Rita frozen and realized what she just said. Basically spilling the beans. But luckily for her, it flew over her granddaughters head, still knowing her as her mother. "...Roll with it" Rita thought to herself.

"Why, uh, yes! As a matter of fact, you do!" Rita said with a forced smile. "Why the..uh, change?"

Loan as a wide grin, shaking and rattling in place, excitement oozing from her pores.

"Aunt Lori is coming over and I'm just super excited! I-I wanted to make a good impression so I dressed up..uh, kinda like..her. I-Is that weird?" Loan starts to shake with fear, eyes bugged to show signs of slow boiled panicking. "Y-Y-You think she'll think it's weird? T-That I'm weird?!"

Rita sighs and smiles at the young beautiful woman in front of her.

"I think she'll be just as excited to see you, dear.." Rita assured.

* * *

The three woman stood in the middle of the yard, clumped together and all in different states of mind. Lucy was trying her hardest to keep calm, Lynn is barely able to keep from looking around and sweating and Luan, as scary as it was, was completely unpredictable as she stared at the ground. Lucy sighed.

"Girls…" she said calmly. "I know this is scary. I'm scared too. But it's very important that we keep our composure. Even when we see our kids. Otherwise…"

"Yeah, yeah.." grumbled Lynn. "We make things worst. I'm going to be fine."

"We'll see…" Lucy said quietly.

Insulted, Lynn quickly turns to her black haired sibling. "Shut up!" she growled. "All that cynical shit you're talking isn't helping!"

"But I'm a nihilist.." Lucy said with a groan. "Whatever. This whole thing is pointless. You'll fall through the cracks and ruin all of this…"

"Now you're being a fucking pessimist!" Lynn growled.

"Guys…" said Luan in a hushed fashion. The two girls calmed down.

"Whatever...I won't lose my shit…" Lynn said, looking away from her sisters.

For a moment, the three fell to silence, wanting for the girls to come outside to meet them for assignments. They all tried to not speak or even look at one another, however the tightness of the situation started to latch. Nerves were stirred and their blood pressure raised, giving them signs that there was indeed going to be a very awkward and tense reunion. What will they say? How will they relate? Just what kind of lives did they live? How do they feel about being here? So many questions after years of pretending they don't exist.

At that thought, Lynn couldn't take it anymore. She could deal with not a single sound.

"Hey, Luan…" Lynn said soft, arms crossed and still looking away. She can feel Luan's eyes looking in her direction. "You...had a chance to talk to, uh, Liby, right..?"

"Uh, yeah...she came into the store…" Luan said with a quiet voice.

"So, uh….shit-what's she like or whatever?" Lynn said, pretending not to be interested.

Luan's face lit up a bit and she straightens up her posture. Even Lucy looks to Luan, not speaking but still curious. Luan clears her throat.

"W-Well, she's kind of a shy girl. Like, a very shy girl. She seems to be..dependent on your girls. I suppose they have a very tight bound…"

Lynn said nothing. Lucy only nods.

"So…" Luan started. "D-Do you know anything about your girls?"

Lynn, turned away and had her back facing them. Lucy turns to face Luan and gives something of a smirk. Luan is surprised to see her express anything at all.

"Ha...mine….she likes to smoke…" Lucy said. "That much I'm sure of."

Luan chuckles. "So, she's truly your daughter. I remember you couldn't stop smoking to save your life."

Lucy chuckles lightly. "Yeah…" she said. "She seems smart. Like, she leads the three of them-"

"Bullshit" Lynn said. Lucy and Luan looked at her. "If...if _my_ kid is running around, _she's_ leading a pack. Y-Yeah, so it's obvious they are following _her_ , Luce. I mean, c-come on. It's my kid after all…"

Even though she wasn't looking at them, Lynn could feel her sisters smiling behind her back. At first, Lynn didn't even wanna talk about it. Now, she shows herself to be too proud to even let the daughter she's never really met to be second place to anyone.

"They must be...decent girls if mom is keeping them...right?" Luan asked.

"They have to be rough around the edges…" Lucy stated bluntly. "However, that is our fault."

Lynn was still in her movement.

The three remembered clearly how all this happened. What they done to their own flesh and blood. How can they live with that? How could any of them-they were all guilty. Completely accepting the judgement they will one day face. How their daughters came into the work is off of someone's pain and for them to be used and abused. How they discarded them after the fact proved how slowly they are as people and as parents. Luna was the lowest of a parent and a person then they are, but at least her kids know where and who their mom is.

These girls never had that. They did only for a moment and left alone during a time where everyone knew, that they will not remember them. Again, they were bad people.

The thought brought the three back to reality. Their kids shouldn't have to have waited this long to meet them. Not like it mattered because they can't know who they really are anyway. The high spirit and moment of peace the sisters had talking in the middle of the backyard dissolved just as fast.

"Lacy, it d-doesn't really matter-" a meek voice is heard. Luan's head perks up.

"Of course it does! They need to see us in our glory, after all. First impressions are super important!" said a gruff voice. Lynn's expressions shifted to one of sorrow.

"Will you two stop? You promised to behave" said a smooth unimpressed voice. Lucy sighed.

Lupa, Lacy and Liby finally made their way into the backyard, dressed in their usual attire. However, Mrs. Rita was nice enough to wash it for them the night before. They stood and stared at the grown women in the middle of the yard with various degrees in interest. Liby quickly waves to Luan, who in return smiles brightly at her. Lacy, first time meeting Lynn said nothing and pulls out her hand for a hand shake. Lynn stared for a bit and slowly reached out and shook her daughters hand only for Lacy to quickly recoil. At that moment, Lacy nervously pulls her hand from Lynn's mighty grip. Lynn sweats nervously and figured something out that was disappointing: her daughter had one of the weakest grips ever. Lupa just looks at Lucy. Lucy shows no signs of speaking. Usually, Lupa wouldn't mind but not in this case. She kinda wanted the party to start. Not that she liked parties, but she was getting comfy to a degree where she wants to enjoy a safe and fun environment. That and bored.

She digs in her hoodie pocket, and pulls a lone cig from it. She puts it to her lips, lights it and takes a drag. Lucy's expression shifted to one of was the first time seeing her child up close. Pale, smooth skin. Rowdy white hair with simple tuffs. Freckles peppering her face. Very pronounced and glossed lips. A sassy stance. She was...interesting. She was actually very cute to Lucy. That was her child. She turned out so pretty. Maybe the smoking wasn't very ladylike but she seemed to look grand and even sounded like a smart and strong girl. Lucy actually smiled.

"So, You're Lucy, right? Ms. Rita's sister?" Lupa asked as smoke wafts from her mouth and nose.

Her smile faded quickly. Lucy, in the first time in her life and in this whole charade, hated being a sister and an aunt. She wanted her to say "mom".

"Yes.." Lucy said coldly. "And...you must be Lupa…"

"Yep," Lupa replied around the filter of her cigarette, "that's me." Lucy went on staring at her, silent, stony, eyes hidden behind her bangs, and Lupa chaffed. She didn't like it when she couldn't see someone's eyes - they say eyes are the window to the soul, and Lupa believed it. In eyes, you can see purpose, thought, and intent. When they were covered, you couldn't, and therefore you couldn't even begin to make an accurate judgement. Lucy's features were flat, expressionless, her mouth a neutral line neither trending up nor down, and her pallid flesh gave her the appearance of a statue.

Or a corpse.

Lupa couldn't _see_ the woman's eyes, but they could feel them on her like the whispering flutter of a thousand bug legs. The urge to look away came over her, but she stood fast - where she came from, letting yourself be stared down was a sign of weakness, and if you showed weakness, the others would eat you alive.

It was Lynn who broke the tense pall. "Alright, well, uh…" she looked around. A folding table lay near the side, its metal legs drawn tight against its bottom. "Lacy, help me with that table. Luce, you and Lupa blow balloons up or something." She turned to Luan. "Hang the banner off the fence."

Orders in hand, the group dispersed, Lupa and Lucy going to the back porch, where the party supplies were arranged near the back step, Luan and Liby taking a paper HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner over to the opposite fence, and Lacy and Lynn going over to the table. Lynn grabbed one end and waited for Lacy to grab the other; the girl didn't move. "Go," Lynn prodded.

Lacy swung the table to left, knocking it into the fence. "Other way," Lynn said impatiently. Lacy brought the table around and they carried it toward the center of the yard, Lacy backing up and casting worried looks over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't going to trip on anything. Lynn bore most of the weight, and before they were halfway there, Lacy's thin little noodle arms quivered and her cheeks blushed red. Lynn tried not to stare at the girl, but couldn't help it: She could see so much of... _him_ in her, but also herself as well. Lacy wasn't a bad looking girl, but she was so puny. Lynn was small at that age too, but she was toned; Lacy wasn't.

They were almost to the center of the yard when Lacy's feet tangled and she went down with a wavering, "Whoa!" Lynn instinctively gripped the table tighter so that it didn't whack the little girl in the face, and her bad knee locked up; bolts of red agony streaked through her leg and into her skull. She hissed through her teeth, and Lacy, sitting on her butt, watched her dumbly. "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up," Lynn spat.

Coming alive, Lacy got to her feet and lifted her end of the table. Flashing, Lynn shoved the table roughly forward, and the edge caught Lacy in the chest, knocking the breath from her lungs and nearly knocking her over again. The look of pain in her eyes was like a punch to guts, and Lynn was instantly sorry. "Over there," she said and nodded to a spot. They carried it over and sat it on its side. Lynn started to kneel, but her knee throbbed in warning. "Unfold those legs," Lynn panted.

Lacy knelt in the grass and pulled one of the legs out. Lynn clasped her hand to her knee and breathes through her teeth. That hurt...but not as much as realizing that she hurt Lacy in return. Her temper was legendary and she never thought twice before lashing out, but the remorse for what she did usually didn't set in until hours or even days later, not at once.

"What do you do for fun?" she asked by way of conversation. Lucy and Lupa sat on the top step, mother and daughter both looking stiff and uncomfortable, and Liby and Luan hung the banner.

"I play sports," Lacy said. She unfolded the other leg and got to her feet , then stood the table up.

"Yeah?" Lynn asked and looked the girl up and down. Thin legs, thin arms, stomach just pudgy enough to be noticable. She was in shit shape; the only sport Lynn could see her playing was couch sitting. "What's your favorite?"

"Football," Lacy said with a lopsided grin. "I'm really good at football."

Bullshit, Lynn almost blurted. She wasn't the best at football but she knew that she was a whole lot better than Lacy. "You are, huh?" Lynn asked, a challenge in her voice.

"Yep," Lacy said, "I'm the best at every sport I try." She grinned smugly and stabbed her thumb into her chest. "I'm a natural natural."

That made Lynn laugh.

Lacy blinked in surprise, then furrowed her brows suspiciously. "What?" she asked, a defensive edge in her voice, "I am."

Normally, Lynn wouldn't hold herself back from ripping someone like Lacy a new asshole and pointing out every single flaw she could find, but something held her back. "If you say so," she said.

"I do," Lacy shot back. "I'm gonna go pro one day."

Lynn couldn't stop herself. "That's what they all say, honey."

A dark shadow flickered across Lacy's features. "They might say it, but I _mean_ it. You're gonna see me in the NWFL one day."

Wow, _someone_ has an ego. Lynn was a coach and dealt with kids like Lacy all the time - each one thought they were going to be the next LeBron, but, I hate to tell you, that's not gonna happen. Lynn knew that all too well - she was going to be the next LeBron once, but she blew out her knee and wound up teaching ameture hour at the high school instead. When she looked at those kids, she was reminded of herself, and that made her mad - she saw in them the same hope she once felt, the same dreams that even now lie shattered on the ground. Didn't they realize how stupid they looked? How stupid they sounded? She knew, vaguely, that she must have looked like them when she was fifteen, and she hated it. At school, she was known as a savage critic of everything: The way her players stood, walked, spoke, threw, caught, dribbled, and even sat. She did it to bring them down a few pegs...that way it wouldn't hurt as much when they crashed back to earth.

Standing now in front of Lacy, her daughter, Lynn observed so much of herself in the girl that it was sickening, and a ball of something akin to nervous anger formed in her chest.

She needed to be brought down a little.

"Prove it," Lynn said. "I'm gonna go get a ball. Show me you're the best."

A competitive light that Lynn knew all too well twinkled in the girl's eye. "Fine. Go get your ball. You'll see."

* * *

On the back porch, Lupa brought a deflated balloon to her lips and blew - it expanded, the the air rushed back into her lungs in a choking flood. She turned and coughed deeply. Next to her, Lucy tied off another and dropped it to the ground with the others. Lupa glanced at the woman's pile - six in a heap, rocking back and forth in a light westerly breeze - then at her own. Two. both small and malformed, stared up at her as if begging to be put out of their misery. Lupa sighed; of all the things she could have been asked to do, Lynn picked the one thing that involved using her probably-char-coated lungs. "You know smoking is dangerous, right?" Lucy asked and tied off yet another balloon.

Is it? I had no idea. Lol. I'm just a dumb little girl. "I know," she said, then hesitated before adding, "I just don't care." She didn't want to sound impolite, but it was true, she didn't.

Lucy didn't speak for a moment. "Why not?" she asked.

A cold gust of wind swept over them, rustling Lupa's hair and pushing Lucy's balloons across the ground like autumn leaves. In the yard, Lacy crossed her arms and waited for Lynn to get back from wherever she went. At the fence, Liby giggled at something Luan said. Lupa considered a long time before she replied. She didn't know Lucy and couldn't say she like her (in fact, she made her uncomfortable), so instead of opening up, the way she might have to Rita, she simply said, "Just don't."

"You should," Lucy said, "you have your whole life ahead of you. Things might...not be the best now, but that doesn't mean they won't change."

"Maybe," Lupa allowed. "Maybe not."

To her, there was no 'maybe' about it. Things wouldn't get better. She and her sisters, like too many other people, would never move up, but across. Things would never truly improve, but only change. They'd get shit jobs one day, maybe wind up with shit men, have kids, be poor, unfulfilled, unhappy. That's all they'd ever been and that's all Lupa could realistically seem them ever being. They would one day trade their current hell for a new hell, and that would be that.

"They will," Lucy said lamely, "you just have to have faith,"

That word - faith - rubbed Lupa like a sheet of sandpaper to an open wound, and before she could stop herself, she snapped. "I don't have faith. I don't put stock in things I can't see. I've never seen the future, but I _have_ seen the past, and if that's anything to go by, me and my sisters won't be happy. We've never _been_ happy. We were abandoned by our parents and mistreated every step of the way. We mean nothing to no one, and we probably never will because we're trash and we're undeserving of the happiness everyone else has. Our parents didn't want us, and if your parents don't love you, who will?"

She took a deep, shivery breath. She was starting to get worked up, and if she didn't stop herself, she would let it all out in a bitter torrent.

Lucy hung her head and stared at her hands. "I'm sure they love you," she said weakly, "they just...had their reasons."

"Yeah?" Lupa asked. "That's nice. I have _my_ reasons. No one cares if I live or die and neither do I. Some people might jog and eat healthy because they have something to hold onto, but I don't. The only thing I have are my sisters, and by the time this shit kills me, they'll be adults and won't need me anymore." She picked up a balloon. "I really don't want to talk about this," she said, softening her voice, "it hurt too much."

Another puff of wind stirred Lucy's hair like a melancholy sigh. "I understand," the woman said, "I really do." She got to her feet. "I need to use the bathroom."

* * *

Inside, Loan sat on the couch with her hands resting in her lap. Her back was ramrod straight and her chin jutted slightly out in a posture bespeaking confidence and self-possession. Her father sat in his armchair and read the paper over the tops of his reading glasses, and Lola, who just arrived, sat on her left next to Leia. They were in charge of making cookies and setting out horderves, but before they could get started, Leia excitedly dragged Lola to the sofa and insisted on showing her pictures she took of Lizy on her phone. Loan took a deep breath through her nose and let it out evenly; she was starting to get restless but didn't want to show it. Lori said she would be here by nine, and when Lori said she was going to be somewhere at a certain time, she showed up not one minute later. Loan admired that greatly; sometimes it took her much, much longer than it should to motivate. She might expect to leave at ten, may even really want and need to leave at ten, but she would inevitably run late. Lori never did; Lori was punctual and kept her word.

Not trusting her was an insult, but what if this turned into one of the rare occasions where she _didn't_ keep her word? She was only human, and things happen - maybe something came up and she wouldn't be able to make it.

Anxiety clawed at her chest and she forced another deep breath. If Lori didn't show up, she didn't show up. It wasn't the end of the world and Loan would just have to adapt. Adaptability was one of the traits that she admired most in Lori - no matter what unforeseen circumstances arose, Lori met them with the grace and fluidity of a volleyball player. Loan wished she was like that.

Momentarily, Lucy came in from the kitchen and crossed behind the couch, her fingers wiping her eyes. Lola twisted around and watched her go up the stairs, then got up and followed. "I'll be right back," she told Leia.

She caught up to Lucy at the top. "Luce," she said, and Lucy stopped.

When Lola first arrived, she went into the kitchen and saw Lucy and Lupa sitting on the back step and was curious about what Lupa: What was she like? What kind of person was she? Mom told her a little about the girls, but not much.

"What?" Lucy asked.

"I saw you talking to Lupa," she said and lowered her voice. "What's she like?"

Lucy sighed. "She's...she's hurt and upset. She has a hard exterior but I think it's a false front. She looks strong but inside she's a scared little girl." Uncharacteristic emotion crept into Lucy's voice. "She and the others have been through a lot."

"Like what?" Lola asked. All she knew was that they were in a group home or something.

"I'm not sure," Lucy said, "Mom thinks they were abused. Maybe physically, and maybe...in other ways."

Lola picked up her sister's implication immediately and her stomach turned. "Oh, my God," she said.

"Lupa thinks no one loves her," Lucy said, "and that tells me that no one…" she trailed off and shook her head. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Lucy rounded the corner and went to the bathroom, leaving Lola alone.

* * *

In the backyard, Lynn clutched a football in her hand and waved Lacy back. The girl took a dozen steps backwards and stopped, her face a mask of determination. "You ready?" Lynn asked.

"Throw it," Lacy said.

Whipping her arm back, she snapped the ball forward, and it arched perfectly into the air. Lacy tracked it with her eyes, dodged to the side, and reached for it.

It sailed past and hit the fence.

Lacy ran over, picked it up, and threw it back; it wobbled sickly and came down well short of Lynn, who didn't even make a try for it. "That's your best?" she asked.

"No," Lacy said, "I wasn't ready."

"Then you shouldn't have thrown it." Lynn walked over, picked it up, and stepped back. "I'm gonna throw this one right to you, okay?" She couldn't keep a patronizing edge from her voice.

Before Lacy could reply, Lynn threw the ball. It tore through the air like a bullet. Lynn aimed directly at Lacy's stomach - a simple pass - and Lacy should have caught it, but she was too quick, and the ball bounced from her hands.

Lynn rolled her eyes as Lacy chased the ball down. "I thought you were the best," she said.

"The sun was in my eyes," Lacy said.

Of course it was. WIth some kids, there was always an external reason they fumbled, tripped, and missed elementary passes. Lynn had heard every excuse a dozen times over the years. Lacy drew back and flung the ball; it wobbled even more violently this time, and Lynn tried to catch it but missed.

"Ha!" Lacy shouted. "Nice catch."

Lynn stooped down and picked up the ball. "Even better throw." She snapped the ball again, and Lacy actually caught it this time. The girl shot it back, and again, it shook and veered off into space. "You're throwing it wrong," Lynn said.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Lynn picked the ball up and motioned for Lacy to come over. The girl hesitated, then did. Grimacing at the pain in her knee, Lynn kent. "Face away." She said.

Lacy turned her back to Lynn, her posture defensive. Lynn grabbed the back of her shirt, drew her close, and shoved the ball into her hand. Laying her and on Lacy's, she said, "The way you hold a football is with your ring and little fingers crossing the laces and your thumb underneath. Your index finger should be over a seam, and your thumb and index fingers should make an L shape." She moved Lacy's fingers into position with her own. "There."

"I hold it differently," Lacy said quickly.

Yeah, Lynn noticed. "Well, this is the _right_ way," she declared.

Lacy bristled. "Look," Lynn said, "I'm a coach. I know what I'm talking about. Hold it like this _then_ throw it to me. You'll see a difference. I promise."

Sighing, Lacy pulled away, crossed the yard, and turned as Lynn got back to her feet. The girl's brow was creased and her jaw set in annoyance. If she was anything like Lynn, being corrected irritated her - and made her ashamed.

"Throw," Lynn urged.

Glowering, Lacy ripped her arm back and let fly: The ball spun evenly through the air, and Lynn jumped up to catch it. Lacy's eyes widened in astonishment, as though she couldn't' believe that she'd thrown such a perfect pass, and the corners of her mouth turned up in a sharp, satisfied grin.

"Nice job," Lynn said earnestly. It wasn't the best pass she'd ever seen, but for the first one she'd probably ever thrown right in her entire life, it was damn impressive. Some kids took forever to catch on, but not Lacy.

Something warm and tingling stirred in Lynn's chest.

Pride.

* * *

Lola returned to her sit next to Leia. She plops down with a sigh. Leia looks at her favorite aunt with worry. She scoots closer and looks at her, an eyebrow raised. She's seen her mother upset a few times here and there, but a genuine sadness was written on her face.

"What's wrong, auntie?" Leia said, clearly worried.

"Nothing…" Lola said looking at the floor. "Your Aunt Lucy is just upset…"

Leia peeks out the back door towards the porch. Lupa. Of course. Leia groans.

"What did the undesirable do now?" Leia said with venom.

Lola slowly turned her head toward the child, a tightness clutched around her chest. "W-What..?" she asked softly. Lynn Sr, hearing this, tightens his grip on his paper and now pretends to read, the cold words of his granddaughter hitting him in a way he was not prepared for.

Leia passed a confused look and chuckles.

"C'mon, auntie" she says smugly before pointing to the back porch. "Look at her."

Lola, curious, looks back to see the child. A white haired freckle faced girl with a mouth full of cancerous smoke floating like fading ghost from her lush, full lips. The posture pours sorrow and her aura reeks of self-loathing. Seeing the child in such a way left Lola feeling even more upset. She turns back to her "niece".

"If I looked like that, I'd feel as low as her, too" joked Leia.

Lola didn't know how to respond.

"That's…" Lola started before tripping up.

"She and her whole litter of trash babies drift along and squat. Nothing more" Leia said with a snort. "I mean that's why people like them get thrown away, right?"

Lola covered her mouth. She couldn't hear stuff like that anymore. She springs up from the sofa and makes her way upstairs, her hand over her mouth and the greenness of her cheeks shining through. Leia is confused by her aunt's sudden dismissal. Before long, her angered father gets up from his chair and walks off. She turns to also see Loan is gone and that she was alone.

"Was it something I said..?" she says to herself softly.

* * *

Back outside, Luan and Liby quietly set up banners side by side along the fence as time for the rest of the guest to appear draws near. The sounds of birds chirping and the clipping thud noises of the two athletes behinds them throwing a football fills the nothingness between them. Luan quietly studies the young teen up close. Quiet. Shy. Very lost on what to say, but smiling like she's just happy to be there. Luan's heart aches. So many years gone. Luan couldn't even begin to guess how alone her daughter felt-how alone they all felt. It ate at her. She wanted to speak but then, a sharp ringing in her ear.

Luan turns her head slightly towards the porch. Lupa is staring dead at her. Luan turns her head back to the fence to hook a piece of string on the fence to finish the banner. Luan could still feel Lupa's gaze on her, nearly burning a hole in the back of her skull. Overall, Luan seen a lot of Lucy in Lupa. Both had a very cold and at time, intimidating presence. The reason Lupa seems scarier to her is that she can see her eyes. Lupa had the sharpest eyes she'd ever seen-damn near hypnotic.

Liby turns to Luan with a soft smile.

"Don't worry about her…" Liby started. "S-She's just looking out for me…"

Luan passed a nervous smile to the girl.

"That's kinda funny..because aren't you older than them?" Luan asked, knowing the answer to that already.

"I-I am...but I'm.." started Liby before looking away. "I'm not as strong as them..t-they keep me safe from bad people.."

Bad people? Luan began to froze. She slowly turns her head to the girl.

"What do you mean..?" Luan asked slowly.

Liby plays with her hands. Luan knows prying would make things worse, but she had to know. She just had to.

"It's okay, Lib. You can tell ol' Ms. Luan anything.." Luan said, almost begging.

Liby wanted to look at Lupa, but realized she'd be upset asking a question like that. However, she looks to Luan. She can trust her surely. She seemed nice enough.

"O-Okay…" Liby said. "I few years ago...I was about eight. I saw this cute puppy...a stray puppy. And I really wanted to pet it because I-I never had a pet before..but it ran off before I could pet it."

Luan stands there and listens.

"A-Anyway…" Liby resumes. "I followed it for so long, I-I wasn't paying attention to where I was going...I wandered deep into the southside, w-which is a no-go zone for us. I finally caught the puppy in an alley and managed to pet it. S-Since I walked so far from the home, I played there for a while, b-but then I heard the thunder. It was going to rain..when I turned around to go home..I saw them…"

Luan's heart sank. Her skin turned ghoulish white. She knew where the story was going.

"Big kids. Teenagers. T-T-They asked why I was here...a-and if I was alone...and then they...called me pretty. I-I they were nice..but one touched me and I realized that they weren't..They pushed me deep into the ally and..a-and they start clothing off my clothes and…"

Liby stops as she starts to shake and tears rolled down her eyes. Luan stared at the girl.

"My baby…" Luan thought to herself.

Liby looks down. "I...I don't want to talk about it. I-I don't want to think about it...I-I-I.."

"Liby…" Luan said softly.

"D-Don't talk about...d-d-don't think think-talk-t-think, a-about.." Liby said, stuttering and stalling as her mind traps itself in a loop.

"L-Liby..?" asked Luan.

"Please...I won't tell anyone...I-I-I promise...I-I won't say anything...I-just let me go...I-i wanna go home...please let me go home...I'll be a good girl and be quiet…please..j-just stop" Liby rambled, speaking like a battered child.

Luan couldn't take it anymore. She didn't care what who saw. She didn't care how it looked. She didn't care what her sister's said or what her parents said. Luan kneeled down and hugged Liby closely, soothing her as she strokes her hair. The girl quickly snapped out of it, realizing what's happening.

"M-Ms. Luan-" Liby started.

"That won't happen to you anymore…." Luan said, choked up and fighting tears, the feeling as if she solid a hefty stone that nested uncomfortable in her throat. "You hear me? I-I'll help protect you. No more bad people. I-I promise...I know you don't know me but-"

Liby returns the hug and sniffles. "Okay..I-I trust you, Ms. Luan…"

Luan's heart begins to pound. Trust. "Don't trust me…" Luan thought to herself.

" _Hey, bro! O know you say you want to sleep on the floor, but know not get in bed...you know...with me?"_

" _Uhh, yeah...that sounds like a bad idea."_

" _Oh, quit worrying...it's fine. We can keep each other warm.."_

" _Luan, what if I get caught? Mom and dad already kicked me out. I-I'm not even supposed to be-"_

" _Don't worry, little brother. I'm here now. I will protect you. Now...get under the covers…"_

"I'm a hypocrite…" thought Luan.

Lupa stared at Luan and Liby with a lot of confusion. Not sure what happened and why they are hugging, but she wasn't a fan of it. She turned to her other sister Lacy and mouthed the words "What the fuck?" to her. Lacy could only shrug. However, when Lupa looked at Lynn, she looked absolutely stressed. She thought it could be the fact she's forced to toss a ball back and forth Ol' Spaghetti Arms Lacy here, but she seemed to be staring at Luan and Liby too. Lupa noticed how Lacy has to walked up to Lynn to shake her arm to gain her attention. Lynn tries to joke and play it off, but Lupa found it weird. She pulls out another cig and sparks it. She hears the door behind her open. She turns around to see two faces. Lucy and...some pregnant woman. Lucy seemed normal like before but this other lady was giving a kind smile. Lupa gives a light wave as the two sit on the porch. The pregnant lady motions her to join them.

Lupa puts out the cig out of respect for the woman having a baby in her and walks over to sit nearby. She was going to mind her own business until Lucy clears her throat.

"Let's talk" Lucy says calmly.

* * *

" _Cut my life into pieces_

 _This is my last resort_

 _Suffocation_

 _No breathing_

 _Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding''_

Lyra is driving to the party with Lemy in the front seat and a half asleep Gwen in the back. She stays quiet and keeps driving on the road. She wasn't much of a fan of Gwan and was REALLY not a fan of Lemy's music, but seeing how upset she's made him lately, she allowed the nu metal to tear and claw its way from her speakers. She figured if Lemy is happy for a little bit, she can learn to be happy. Granted, she knows he's only excited to get to the party to see Lupa. The idea made her heated. But she's not going to act out. He brother's happy. Leia will be happy to she her little friend, her mother was away from the part so everything should be grand.

At least, she hoped so.

An insistent little voice in the back of her head told her that it wouldn't, at least not for long. Every peaceful moment in her life had proven to be a rare oasis in a vast desert of torment. The sailing was never smooth for very long, and the sky always brought rain sooner or later. She stole a glance at Lemy and fought back a deep frown. Her mind returned to the argument they had the other day - he accused her of not wanting him to be happy. That wasn't the truth, she did want them to be happy...but she wanted to be happy too, and…

She pursed her lips and turned back to the road. Disquiet stirred in the pit of her stomach and her hands tightened on the wheel until her knuckles were a bloodless shade of white. He was wrong about her not wanting him to be happy, but he was right about one thing: This Christian shit was a false front. Last night, she sat down, bowed her head, and prayed to God as she had a thousand times in the past, and true to form...she felt nothing. They say that you can _feel_ the Holy Spirit when you come to God in prayer, but she never did; instead, she felt the same hollowness as always. A youth pastor she once knew likened praying to talking into a telephone. _God might not speak outright, but you can sense him on the other end, listening_. For her, it was like talking into a deadline: No noise, no presence, nothing. She told herself that God was there, sitting on His throne, and maybe in the beginning she bought it, but not now...especially not after all the thinking she did last night. All of her inane preaching and contrived Scripture-quoting was void of meaning. She might as well walk around with a copy of _Dracula_ and pray to the Count.

In the end, though...she'd rather look like an idiot Duggar than like her mother. Mother - that's how she always referred to her, prim and proper - was a fucking wasted drunk, slut, and junkie. If Lyra looked like an idiot, Luna looked like a retard, and the more Lyra thought of her passed out on the floor, the more she hated that woman. One of the commandments is _honor thy mother and father._ Humph. Luna Loud didn't deserve to be honored; for all she'd done to her children, she deserved to be shot like a feral dog.

Rage throbbed in the center of Lyra's chest like an abscessed tooth, and she took a deep breath that did little to relieve the pressure on her breast. An image of Lupa - pale with big lips and big, dark eyes like a fish - danced mockingly across her mind, and she pressed harder on the gas; the car surged forward and the engine purred like a big cat loping across the Serengeti.

 _Do you even care if I die bleeding?  
Would it be wrong?, would it be right?  
If I took my life tonight  
Chances are that I might  
Mutilation outta sight  
And I'm contemplating suicide_

Didn't Lemy see how much she cared for him? Didn't he realize what he meant to her? Didn't he understand how much she fucking loved him? He was the only thing in this world that meant shit to her and every time he looked at Lupa with that tender expression, it was like being stabbed in the guts.

A stop sign appears ahead, and for a brief moment, Lyra considered running it - let someone crash into her. What did she have to live for anyway?

She forced herself to ease up and tap the brake.

Maybe, she thought, it was for the best. Loving her brother...like that...made her just like Luna, and while she loved Lemy, she hated her mother enough that she'd...she'd…

She didn't know, alright? She didn't know shit anymore and it was driving her crazy.

 _Losing my sight  
Losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine_

You never know what happens behind closed doors an drawn drapes, but she didn't think any of her friends had lives as fucked up as hers. She recalled the Biblical story of Job, God's most devout servant. God blessed him up one side and down the other, and Job rode God's dick so hard it snapped off in his ass and had to be surgically removed. One day, the Devil came along and told God that Job only did it because God gave him so many blessings. _Stop all that noise and see what happens._

Long story short, God cursed Job for _years,_ and Job bore it. Then, when God realized Job was on the level, he started blessing him again. _Sorry I killed your last batch of kids, here, have some more._ Sometimes she felt like Job...only unlike Job, God never started blessing her again...never blessed her in the first place. Her life was one long trail of tears, and that wouldn't change for she was destined to love a man she could not have, or to have him and see her mother's mocking face every time she looked in the mirror.

 _I never realized I was spread too thin  
Till it was too late and I was empty within  
Hungry, feeding on chaos and livin' in sin  
Downward spiral, where do I begin?_

The music was starting to give her a headache, and it took everything she had to keep from snapping at Lemy to turn it off.

A few minutes later, she turned onto Franklin. The house stood at the very end on a slight incline, the front yard dominated by a giant oak and Uncle Lynn's van sitting in the oil splotched driveway. Someone tied a bundle of silver balloons with HAPPY BIRTHDAY across the front in different colors, and they danced in the breeze like pagans to a beat only they could hear. Lyra parked behind Lola's car.

 _Nothing's alright, nothing is fine  
I'm runnin' and I'm crying  
I'm crying, I'm crying  
I'm crying, I'm crying  
I can't go on living this way_

She killed the engine and ripped the keys out of the ignition. She was shaking and flushed all over like a powder keg ready to explode, and she took a deep breath. "Alright," she said, her voice unsteady, "come on."

Before Lemy could reply, she savagely threw the door open and got out, slamming it behind her. She wanted this goddamn party over and done with as fast as possible so she could crawl into a hole like a sinner hiding from God's final wrath.

Without waiting for Lemy and Gwen, she crossed the lawn and started up the walk, her stride hard and long.

* * *

"Okay, I gotta admit, you were right," Lacy huffed. Her cheeks were red and beads of sweat coated her forehead. She bent, picked the ball up, and looked at it with a proud smile that made Lynn's heartbeat speed up. When she first laid eyes on the little girl, she instantly saw herself and _him_...and she didn't like it. She was not an unattractive kid, but, for Lynn, she was painful to look at. Now, however, after nearly an hour of tossing the ball back and forth and making small talk, Lynn couldn't help finding her beautiful, from her chocolate milk covered hair to the smattering of freckles across her cheeks. Her smile was as bright as Friday night lights and her brown eyes sparkled with happiness and growing pride at her own improvement.

One thing about her, she learned quick. She had a good arm on her, even if it _did_ look like a soggy noodle. Her stamina wasn't the best; she had to stop and take frequent rests, but her recovery time was good - no more than three or four minutes before she stormed back into it.

Lynn couldn't help reaching out and ruffling her hair. "You're doing really good," she said with a affectionate inflection that shocked her.

"Thanks," Lacy said.

They rested in the shade of the tree, their backs against the rough bark and tangled roots lumpy under their dirt-coated butts. Matching bottles of Gatorade sat between their legs and a bag of chips lay open on the ground next to them.

Lacy picked up her bottle and took a drink. It was orange and stained her lips, reminding Lynn of a little girl with a glass of Kool-Aid; something about it made Lynn smile. "I, uh,..." Lacy trailed off and looked down at the white scratches crisscrossing her knobby knees. The tone of her voice was heavy, like she had something important - and painful - to say,

"What?" Lynn asked encouragingly.

The girl sighed and a wry smile flashed across her face. "I have a confession to make."

Lynn blinked in surprise. "What?"

"I'm, uh…" Lacy lowered her voice as if imparting a shameful secret, "I'm not very good at sports."

Oh.

Lynn laughed, but sobered at Lacy's wounded expression. "I just started doing it one day," Lacy said. "It looked like fun and...you know...when you're playing ball, nothing else matters. You forget all of the bad stuff and for a little while, you're free."

Lynn nodded understandingly. For her, sports had always been a refuge too. "Yeah," she said, "solace in sports, that's my motto. Or...one of them. The other is _suck it up and power through_." She frowned as she turned Lacy's words over in her mind, and was surprised at the way her stomach clinched in dread. "What...what kind of things were you trying to forget?"

For a moment, Lacy didn't reply. "Lace?" Lynn urged. "You can tell me, I..I wanna be your friend." Lynn was taken aback to find that she meant that wholeheartedly.

"Just...being picked on and stuff. I'm kinda small and the other girls in the group home used to tease me...and beat me up."

A sharp pang rippled through Lynn's heart. "Beat you up?" she asked.

Lacy nodded. "Yeah. And one time a staff member beat me up."

Lynn gaped. "They did?"

Lacy nodded again. "Yeah. This girl was making fun of me and I got mad I hit her. The staffer didn't like violence, so she got mad and choked me."

Lynn's chest squeezed and blood pounded against her temples. "Choked you because she didn't like violence?" She imagined a grown woman with her hands around Lacy's throat, and bitter rage detonated in her chest like a bomb. "Sounds like bullshit to me."

"Yeah," Lacy said, then, moving on to avoid having to talk about it any more: "So I started playing sports. By myself for the most part. Nine of the other girls wanted to play, Liby...she's Liby...and Lupa didn't want to either, so I never really had practice...or someone to teach me."

Though Lynn knew the girl did not mean those last five words as an accusation, she took it as one anyone, and her heart sank into her stomach. "So...yeah."

Lynn's life had not been a pleasant one, but that one statement - _I never had anyone to teach me_ \- broke over her like a revelation. As bad as she may have had it...as bad as she thought she had it now - at least, once upon a time, she had parents, friends, and a lot of siblings who loved her. What did Lacy have growing up? People teasing her and strangling her?

And it was all Lynn's fault.

A rush of pain washed through her like acid, and a single tear formed in the corner of her eye.

Lacy couldn't help but stare at the woman for a moment, sensing that she seemed upset.

"Hey, Coach Lynn…" Lacy started. "Are you okay?"

Lynn froze again. "W-What..what did you just call me..?" she asked in a raspy voice.

"Coach" Lacy said with a chuckle. "You are a couch, right? And you're making me better at sports. So, that means you're kinda my coach, right?"

"I'm your-" Lynn said before pausing. She wanted to say "mom" so badly at that point. She begged for it. She wasn't to fight her urge not to. But of course, she knows she can't.

"Coach...o-of course I'm your coach…" Lynn said with a fake smile.

She gets to her feet and walks away. "I'll be back…" she said as she walks to her car. Lacy stands there in confusion.

* * *

Lyra walks into the house with Lemy and Gwen behind her, her face balled up and her stance tense. Leia hops off the couch to approach Lemy and Gwen. She quickly hugs her friend Gwen.

"I'm so glad you're here! I was getting bored!" Leia said to Gwen.

Gwen chuckles. "Yeah, your cos' gave me a ride" she said. Leia looks up to Lyra and smiles.

"Thanks, Lyra!" she said. No response. Leia is confused. "Uh, Lyra….hey, Lyra?"

Lyra snaps out of it and looks down and sighs.

"Sorry.." Lyra starts. "What did you say?"

"Um, I was thanking you for bring Gwen over.." Leia said.

Lyra was still in a funky mood, but still appreciated the thanks from her young cousin. So she gives a weak smile.

"You're welcome" Lyra said. Leia gives her a concerned look. Lyra knew she'd pick up on her mood.

Lemy looks around the room.

"Hey, Leia-" Lemy started.

"Lem! You want to go upstairs and play cards with us! We promise not to take all of your allowance again!"

Lemy knew his allowance money was his dope money, but he refused to comment on that. She laughs nervously and looks around.

"Actually, I was wondering if you knew where lUpa was…" Lemy said sheepishly.

Lyra wanted to scream after hearing that, however she could hear both Gwen and Leia groan at that. This actually kinda made her feel better. At least she wasn't alone. Leia threw her hands up and walks up to Lemy.

"Why do you want to be around that-" Leia started before Lemy puts his hand up.

"If you can't saying anything nice…" he started. Leia sighs.

"She's on the back porch. Talking to Aunt Lola and Aunt Lucy. Can't believe my sweet aunt wants to waste her time on-"

"Wait…" Lyra started, cutting leia off. "Aunt Lucy is TALKING to her?" Lyra and Lemy stood their in amazement. Aunt Lucy RARELY spoke. Usually spoke in one word answers to everyone else But she's out back actually holding a full conversation with her. This was like finding Bigfoot riding a unicorn on a rainbow to Valhalla-it was just that unbelievable.

"They must be having a serious convo is Aunt Lucy of all people is talking…" Lemy said.

"Yeah.." Leia said with a smile. "So, com'n! Lets just hang out a little! At least say hey to Lizy! She is the birthday girl, after all!" Leia holds on to Lemy's arm.

Gwen holds on to his other arm. "Yeah, com'n, freak.." Gwen cooed. "Just a few hands."

Lemy ended up walking with them up the stairs. Might as well, considering Lupa was busy and he still isn't wanting to deal with Lyra right now. As the three walked upstairs, Lyra stands alone. Before she can hover somewhere, Her Aunt Rita appeared. Lyra is taken by surprise.

"H-Hey, Aunt-" Lyra started.

"Let's have a chat, dear.." Rita said as she pointed to her bedroom.

Lyra said nothing else and walked toward the room, with Rita behind her, the entered the room and Lyra sits on the bed, Rita shuts the door behind her and locks it.

Leia and Gwen basically shove Lemy into the bedroom, where lizy was. Lizy quickly hugs her cousin, excited to see him here. Gwen enters the room to get the game set up, readying to take everyone's money. Leia was about to walk in but pauses and looks down the hall. The attic hatch is open and coming down the stairs is her father, with that same box. Lynn Sr noticed her and the two stared for a while.

"Ehh...daddy?" Leia asked.

"Go in your room and play your game, okay?" her father asked calmly.

Leia, confused and concerned, did as she was toward and shut the door behind her.

Downstairs, Loan stood at the front window looking for her Aunt Lori and her sister Liena was silently helping her. She quietly taps the window to point out a car that pulled up. Loan shakes with excitement and then stops. It was her Aunt Leni and her Aunt Lana who pulled up. She loved them too, but she rarely sees her Aunt Lori. And she sighs, annoyed. However, at that second, a all white sports car pulls into the driveway. She has finally arrived.

"SHE'S HERE!" screamed Loan like a happy child before running outside to greet her. Liena always walks out to the porch to greet her Aunt Leni, the aunt she adored. Leni stopped by the door and hugged her quiet "niece" tightly.

"How's my ball of cookie dough?" Leni asked sweetly. Lana was walking up the steps and couldn't help find the two adorable. She turns to see the Excited Loan trying to compose herself for her aunt. Lori gets out of the car, a nice simple light blue dress, white high high, pearls shining like her freshly done French tips, hair in a bun and light make up-not even using lipstick but lip gloss and her slick eyeshadow. She was a sight to behold. Lana scoffs, clearly seeing her sister is showing off but Loan didn't care. She stood there with her eyes twinkling as one would while worshipping their idol. She waited her Lori to get all the way out the car before hugging her, nearly knocking her down. Loan let's go and blushed with embarrassment.

"A-Auntie! I-I'm so sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorr-" Loan rambled.

Lori quickly embraced Loan and held her tightly and hugged her.

"It's good to see you, Loan.." Lori said warmly and sweetly.

Loan nearly melted and was beyond overjoyed.

* * *

In her room, Rita closed the door and motioned for Lyra to sit on the bed. Lyra crossed to it, spun more violently than she meant to, and dropped onto her butt; her hands jittered and she fought to keep from crossing her arms petulantly over her chest. That would communicate that she was upset, and Rita, meaning well, would try to drag it out of her, but she didn't want to talk, didn't even want to be here - just knowing that little white haired snake was somewhere, and that Lemy was just _dying_ to see her made her want to punch something. Preferably thick, fat, fishy lips.

Rita came over and sat next to her, being careful to avoid making eye contact. Some of Lyra's anger drained away, replaced by curiosity. Rita rubbed her knees and took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you about...about Lemy." Her voice cracked.

Lemy? What about him?

She opened her mouth to ask what her aunt meant, but the older woman cut her off. "You have feelings for him. Unsisterly feelings."

A vise grip of dread closed around Lyra's chest. "N-No, I don't," she said quickly, trying to inject as much outrage into the statement as possible. If she sounded upset or disgusted, that would make it real...it would her make normal.

"Yes you do," Rita said firmly. "Don't deny it. I see the way you look at him. And hear the way you talk. It's obvious that you...you like him." Her lips puckered sourly on the word _like_.

Lyra started to argue, but couldn't decide which point to fight - that she had feelings for her brother, or that she simply _liked_ him. "I'm telling you right now, Lyra, that acting on those feelings would be the biggest mistake of your life. That kind of thing only leads to ruin and heartache. The relationship you have with your brother - or your sister - is something sacred and pure. It is love without condition. Once you...move on your feelings...it becomes something else...something that it was not meant to be. Trust me when I say, you don't want to do this - you have something beautiful with your brother, and if you do anything stupid, you will destroy it. Please don't do this." There was abject pleading in her voice, as though she were speaking from experience.

Like maybe she saw it happen once.

Before she could stop herself, Lyra asked, "Don't make the same mistake my mother did?"

Rita's breath caught and her eyes widened in alarm. That was enough to tell Lyra that her suspicions were right - her father, whoever he may be, was also her uncle.

"Just don't do it," Rita said and got up.

Across the hall, Leia laid her cards down and sighed. She, Lizy, Lemy, and Gwen were sitting on the floor of Leia's bedroom, the window cracked to provide a breeze...and also, if the sound of voices drifted up from the back porch below, well...what are you going to do?

" _...you're making her uncomfortable,"_ Lucy said.

" _I'm sorry, honey,"_ Lola said tenderly, and Leia's lips twisted into a sneer because she knew to whom her aunt was speaking. " _I just...that's so awful."_ Leia detected a tremor in Lola's voice, as though the gutter trash girl's story had moved her nearly to tears, and that made her so angry she could barely see straight. Was smart, pretty, sophisticated, amazing, perfect _Lola_ really being taken in by that ghetto scum?

"Your go, Leia," Gwen said.

Rather than taking her turn, Leia got up and went to the window. Gwen and Lemy exchanged a puzzled glance. Leia lifted the screen and leaned over the sill, the cool wind rustling her silky blonde hair. Lola and Lucy flanked Lupa on either side, and Lola…

Lola's arm was around the white haired bitch's shoulders.

Rage gripped Leia and she ground her teeth together. Lola was too kind for her own good, and just as soon as she was done falling for Lupa's lies, Leia would set her straight.

* * *

At the head of the stairs, Lynn Sr. hefted the box and took a careful step down. It was so big and awkward that he couldn't see over it, and had to tilt slightly backwards. It wasn't very heavy, but just enough that if he stood straight, it would hurt his back. His plan was to stow it in the old, disused furnace in the basement. Someone might sneak into the attic, it wasn't safe; no one would find it in the furnace, however, not after he heaped stacks of boxes, totes, and broken furniture in front of it.

Halfway down the stairs, he stepped wrong and pitched forward, his heart rocketing into his throat. The box flew from his hands, and he watched in horror as it tumbled end over end to the bottom, its flaps popping open and all of its contents - pictures, paperwork, other things not meant to be seen - spilled out. He started after but froze when he realized someone was standing at the bottom, looking down at the mess.

Liby.

She lifted her head, and their eyes met.

That's when Lynn panicked. He stormed down, and the girl's eyes widened in fright; she opened her mouth to scream but it came out as a pained, breathless gasp when he grabbed her arm. She stared fixedly up at him like a terrified mouse in the jagged maw of a hawk. "You didn't see any of this," he said and looked around. The living room was empty, thank God. "Understand?"

Liby nodded jerkily, tears of fear shimmering in her big eyes.

Shoving her away, Lynn dropped to his knees and started to shove everything back in.

Giving into her tears, Liby brushed past and raced up the stairs, slamming the bathroom door behind her.

* * *

In the kitchen, Loan took a sip of her coffee and sighed in contentment. She and Lori were sitting at the table and chatting easily about the _new guests_ as Lori called them. For some reason she was intensely interested in them. Loan didn't know why, but deep down in bothered her.

Sitting her mug down on the table, Lori's lips dropped into a contrite frown and she flicked her eyes to her hands. "How are the nightmares?" she asked.

Loan's heartbeat quickened at the mention of the dreaded nightmares. "F-Fine," she said, unable to keep the stutter from her voice and hating it. "I haven't had one in a couple days."

"Are they...the same?"

Loan nodded. They had been the same her entire life; periodically, Lori would anxious ask if there were any new details - if she could _see_ anything else in them. "Well...that's-that's good, I suppose," Lori said.

"It'll only be good when they stop," Loan said. "I hate them. T-They scare me." The last part slipped out and she regretted it instantly. She loathed looking weak and insecure in front of Lori.

"I know," Lori sighed. "And I'm sorry."

She said that often, and though Loan was certain it was just her imagination, there was always remorse in her voice when she did.

Like the nightmares were _her_ fault.

Of course, Loan knew they weren't. Lori was perfect and great, she could do nothing wrong in Loan's eyes.

Nothing.


	9. Announcement

Sorry for the long delay. After talking it over, Darko and I have mutually decided to discontinue A House Divided as we have both moved away from sin kids. We appreciate everyone's support and apologize for this. I can't speak to Darko's feelings (that's up to him to share if he wants), but for me, I can't write something my heart isn't in. I literally can't, I'll just sit there and stare at the screen like a dumbass (or an even dumberass). I'll be honest here: I did a lot of work to someone's character and they wound up resenting me for it and feeling like I hijacked it, which plays a big part in my not wanting to deal with at least that one OC (who's a pretty big part of this story _and_ BS, by the way). Beyond that, I have a ton of other projects planned and I'd rather focus on those.

Again, thank you all for reading.

\- Flagg


End file.
